Luctus
An FFVIII fanfic by Aisling Yinyr Ngaio
Pairing: Squall x Rinoa


She had known this day would come.

After the sorceress Ultimecia was defeated, there was a big celebratory party thrown at Balamb Garden, hailing their success. All of Garden celebrated, and even separated from the boisterous crowd, so did they, in their own private way. They had fulfilled their promise to come back to Edea's House and go see shooting stars together. He was alive, and so was she and the rest of their friends. She had thought that it would be the end of sorrow, and the beginning of a new age.

But the very next day, Balamb Garden had resumed its normal operations: recruiting young students, holding classes on GF, and sending out mercenary operatives. Of course she understood. Nothing returned to normal overnight. Ultimecia might have been defeated, but the mess she left behind still needed to be cleaned up. And Timber's independence still needed to be fought for.

Days trickled by… Weeks… Months… Things became generally better, thanks to the effort put forth by all countries affected by this last conflict, but routine never changed at Garden, where SeeDs were still being trained and deployed. After a lifetime, it was hard for her friends to simply give up who they were. They were never given the opportunity to be civilians once they became Garden students; they were, and would always be, SeeDs. SeeDs who always obeyed commands. SeeDs who were always trained and standing by to fulfill their purpose of defeating the Sorceress…

…SeeDs who always died young on the battlefield, no matter how careful they were.

She wiped her tears away as she struggled to control her grief, clutching her necklace tightly. No, there was no use crying. Hadn't they always decided to live and love for the moment? Knowing that the moment was fleeting, and that there might not be another?

"No one can predict the future, there are no guarantees."

Those were her words to him. Even if she hadn't meant it quite the way he did, it seemed to be coming true. She had known that, as Commander, he won't be one to die old in his bed. He wasn't one to send his own men ahead of himself. No, he was a true leader and soldier, and Garden was his home. SeeDs were his family. He was never meant to sit at home. He was never meant for peace, except during those hard-earned fleeting moments. He lived for action, for a purpose in his life, and with Ultimecia gone, he was suddenly bereft. Though they were all relieved when Ultimecia was defeated, coming down from the tense few weeks of adrenaline high in which they fought for the world's peace… she could see that the SeeDs were hard-pressed to see another future for themselves after having only one future to look forward to ever since their long-forgotten childhoods.

And there's the matter of her Sorceress Power, which would eventually be inherited by Ultimecia in the future. So long as her Sorceress Power existed, SeeDs would always be needed to curtail and control future Sorceresses from running amok, as Adel and Ultimecia had done.

Yet, knowing all the decisions that had to be made, knowing that you were a SeeD, and that I could never ask you to give up who you were… She thought, holding on to the rings with one hand, and placing the other over her still-flat abdomen as the tears flowed freely, even when I knew you couldn't be invincible forever, being as human as even we sorceresses are…

Even knowing that this day would eventually come… it didn't stop her heart from shattering into a thousand pieces, knowing that her Knight was lost forever.

– Finis –