What if, what if, what if... what if these two guys lived on beyond their respective deaths? The conflicting artists of longevity and the blast having stayed teamed up.

Everything in the anime/manga is canon up until this point, everything after is my take in the most realistic fashion I can see it, with some curves thrown in. Let me know what you think of the opening chapter and such, I appreciate your input!

I don't own Naruto and stuff, please don't sue me :(

Without further adieu, the story begins.

XXX

Sasori

The puppets, his puppets, the ultimate representation of what life could become in his hands. The shaper, the molder, there was power at his very fingertips-

But so did these two...

It's hard to believe that one hundred puppets is having difficulty matching up to an old woman and little brat. When I've already destroyed an entire village with these- it's impossible to conceive this happening. A hundred puppets, controlled by the best puppetmaster the world has ever seen? It's just preposterous...oops.

He tilted his head to the left to avoid being hit in the face by a flying puppet head. Not that he would feel any pain or be bothered by it, but it was still that naive human instinct.

No amount of puppetry is gonna be able to remove that. Just have to bury those instincts deep down until they're nothing anymore.

A few of Granny's puppets had been decommissioned, but the ratio of destruction with his own were disgruntling. Is it time for the final surprise-?

There was an odd sensation coming from behind. He whirled his head 180 degrees, and allowed a smirk to go across his wooden lips. She's trying to seal my core again, thinking I'm distracted with the battle around. If only things were that easy, Granny Chiyo. Still, why not give her false hope?

He ejected his core, and suddenly he was nothing but an invisible cylindrical housing, his entire conscience, life, and memory flying perilously through the battle. His remaining puppets fell to the ground as he gave up controlling them. The fools will think they've won, and that's enough of a slip in their guard for me to come in and kill the old bat, once and for all!

The precious core landed in another Sasori-puppet, much to his satisfaction. How many times had he made himself and admired his own creation? None of that useless human babble of love making, he could make as many human puppets as he wanted without the need for such painstaking emotions-

Focus, focus. Another time.

His eyes rolled into place, giving him the ability to see once more. Chiyo and the girl, Sakura, were staring at his original puppet body that had been hammered into the wall by Granny's seal.

And now, for this puppetmaster's final show!

The poisoned blade lanced out-

-and struck the young girl in the abdomen, forcing the blade to come short of hitting the crazy witch-

"So you took the strike instead since you were going to succumb to the poisons effects before," he summarized. The mop of red hair shook as he contained his laughter. "Come on, I was looking forward to wringing that pretty neck of yours myself!"

But Granny Chiyo still has a bit of chakra left, I can see that. She'll try something... I need some way to loosen up her defenses.

The girl didn't respond. Her hands were glowing green- that annoying medical ninjutsu of hers- and pressed to the entrance and exit wounds his weapon had made. His lifeless eyes narrowed in mixed contempt and amusement. Amazing she still has enough chakra for that, and to be skillful enough to heal herself while the wound is still being forced open? She was an impressive one indeed. A wonderful idea came to him. Maybe she'll make an impressive puppet, too-

He extracted his blade for the smaller dagger hidden beneath the longer blade. His puppets were weapons themselves, much like a soldier would wield his kunai and jutsu. There was no end to the attacks he could make, to the greatness he could muster-

Poor Deidara. What would he be without him? If he wasn't there to help the brash young idiot out, he would truly be dying young.

He hefted his arm blade back with a small grin. Then his life really will have lasted as long as a blast. His movement faltered, however, as his began to move his arm to strike down the already dying girl.

And she's even younger than he is... longevity won't reach this one, that's for sure.

He made his face look as conflicted as possible, the puppet's blank eyes widening a moment before impact-

And... there. Not this time, Granny Chiyo.

Out of his shoulders, two long, thin blades shot out and impaled the two puppets that had been sneaking up along his left and right. The blades shot into their necks and took off their heads. He shifted his body into a circle, so that the blades broke through the bodies entirely, slicing them each in half.

"Don't tell me you thought I would be to focused on her to deal with you, Granny Chiyo?" he asked calmly, though beneath his puppet exterior in the small cylindrical of his core, his emotions were ripe with triumph. "I saw you manipulating those puppets a mile off, I wanted you to have a moment of hope before I grounded out your frail life!"

Truthfully, he had noticed the approaching puppets until the last moment. And even more troubling, he found himself questioning his motives before dodging. I almost decided not to dodge. Why? That would have surely killed me, what was I thinking?

He cleared his thoughts. He was Sasori of the Red Sand, the most powerful puppeteer in the world. He didn't have any doubt about himself, not when he was already so supreme. He shot his puppet head around to look at the feeble old bat. "You thought you were strong enough to kill me? Don't make me laugh, witch!"

"Sasori... your mother and father wouldn't have wanted this for you..."

He made the puppet shrug, though in his core he felt brief queasiness. "Shut up, the past is done for. I no longer care for them..." He leveled his sword arm at her. "Just like I no longer care for you. There is only the future, to grow more powerful in my immortality."

"Sasori... the puppets..."

She had always held some sort of power over him, whether he liked it or not. She had nurtured him when he was alone, and had introduced him to puppetry. She was his only surviving family, and therefore his only tie to Sunagakure. The way she said his name, so desperately, it was just like back then when she had first tried to stop him.

And he hated it.

The blades on his shoulders detached and fell to the ground, to make him more lightweight and maneuverable. He jumped into the air towards her and undid the blade casing on his back. The windmill blade started to spin, and in an instant it was in his hand as he approached her feeble body.

Another moment passed, and then his hair was not the only thing stained red.

XXX

Deidara

I enjoy a challenge, but this is getting ridiculous. Oops!

He felt one of the girl's massive kunai brush right through his hair. He dove left, landed akwardly on his side. He forced his tired legs to push himself onto his feet, narrowly avoiding being pounded in the face by the jonin taijutsu master. The loss of both his arms was proving to be enormously damaging to his skills. He couldn't use his kekkai genkai at all his time for art was being lost!

Well... not all of it. Yet. He dodged a particularly vicious kick and picked himself up. Who knew how long he had before they actually struck him, and then he would be without any means for escape. He jumped for the trees, hearing the thunk thunk tink of multiple kunai embedding themselves in the tree, seeking him out like a swarm of bees. There's some risk, but I can't risk being captured. Oh, that'd be just humiliating. Imagine having to have Sasori spring me- no, best not to think about it. Now, where is it...

The mouths on his hands was just a more viable way of taking in the clay and turning it into art. Now, he could really say he was making art himself.

There it is. He looked behind him. The four of them were hot on and heels. Kisame hadn't been bluffing, they all were pretty formidable.

Well, formidable without my arms that is. Oh, if I had them back, these guys would really know a fight. But as it is, it's time for a hasty escape.

He jumped down into the clearing, where his fallen clay bird laid. Bracing himself for the repulsive taste, he bit into the bird, eating it, kneading it inside himself. I wonder if Sasori has ever tasted his own art? No, what the hell am I thinking... he can't even eat.

The four landed a few yards away, observing his next move. And to his pleasure, the Nine-Tails jinchuuriki and Kakashi Hatake landed right next to them.

He stood up, resisting the urge to belch.

"It's over, Akatsuki," said the taijutsu master. "Now, why don't you just give up and we can avid making this any messier than it has to be."

He laughed through his clone. He had already substituted himself while eating the bird, was now waiting in the ground for the coast to be clear. He was certain Hatake wouldn't detect him with that annoying Sharingan of his, not when they thought the clone was the real deal.

Nobody can figure out the exquisite nature of my art, not even him.

None of them would. Still, it was best to remind them exactly what would be their downfall.

The clone parted its mouth. "Art..."

It expanded, growing puffy, massive, excelling human size in a second. He heard their gasps and smiled to himself as they took in his majesty.

"...is an EXPLOSION!"

The clone went off. That was it, end story. He slunk away further into the earth. There was no point in staying if he couldn't watch his own power express itself. Knowing they were dead was good enough for him.

XXX

Some time later, when he was certain the coast was clear, he emerged from the earth, spitting out a mouthful of dirt. "Damn, I really hate using that jutsu. And now by arms are infected, just great."

He didn't mind talking to himself. He had done enough of it when he was rogue. Besides, didn't all intelligent people talk to themselves? It was just a mind opening exercise, and if that meant it would open him up to greater practices, all the better.

"Time to find my man Sasori, jeez he must have finished ages ago, it's already dark out. Damn, now he'll just get on my case about keeping him waiting... and listen to him about how careless I was about losing my other arm. Just spectacular."

He walked through the forest, whistling to himself, occasionally spitting out the taste of his clay. No, I should like it. It's power incarnate!

Something vibrated in his chest. No, against it. He sighed and took off his Akatsuki robe entirely, ripping open the collar with his teeth. Out of the robe fell a small puppet, rattling ceaselessly.

"Sasori's getting impatient... what a surprise." He started running towards the direction of the hideout, feeling eager to meet his partner again and return to the main base for his arms to be sewn back on. Finally, after an hour of labored breathing and heavy footsteps, he reached the edge of the clearing and entered the rocky womb of the hideout.

No way, he's out of Hiruko?

"Yo, Sasori!"

The red hair swiveled around and he stepped back from the two bodies at his feet. His Akatsuki cloak was nowhere to be found, and instead his whole body was exposed. There were blades popping out of him every which way, mant of them stained red. The entire battlefield was filled with broken, unmoving puppets, shattered rock and earth, and splotches of blood.

He jumped over to his partner. "Sasori, don't tell me these two actually held you up, hmm?"

"Where's your other arm?"

"Eh..."

"Idiot." He stuck a hand into a compartment in his body and withdrew a cloak of dark fabric, tossed it around his shoudlers carelessly. "They held me up but I took care of them. I see you failed to retrieve the jinchuuriki."

He blew a stray piece of sweaty, matted hair out of his mouth. "Don't look at me, I did my job. You know, these two really did a number on you? Where's Hiruko-"

"You should talk. Oh wait, you can't because you lose those delightful little mouths on your hands."

"Alright, alright. The mission's done, at any rate. Let's get back to base and-"

There was a disturbance in the air around them. They looked down to their right to see Zetsu emerging. The white one looked them over and seemed to suppress a grin. "Looks like you two had a rough evening."

Not him, too. "Yeah, save it, hmm."

A deeper voice came up. "Where's the jinchuuriki?"

"Don't look at me, I did my job." He nudged Sasori. "If this guy hadn't been playing around with the old woman and the girl we probably could've subdued the whole lot of them."

"Next time, then," Black Zetsu stated.

"But now there's someone we'd like you to meet," White Zetsu said brightly. "Come on out, Tobi!"

Tobi? Sounds like something I'd name my dog. He glanced over at Sasori, but his face was expressionless as always. He won't say it, but whatever went down at this fight wore him out. Maybe we can talk it over with some saki... oh dammit he can't even drink! Having a puppet for a partner is just so boring... and having a partner with such unappetizing art only strains things.

A man came skittering down the rocky wall of the hideout. "Hellooooooo everyone!"

Deidara blinked. "Zetsu, what type of someone is he?"

"He's a good someone," said Black Zetsu thoughtfully.

"He's a good boy."

The man called Tobi reached the bottom of the wall and proceeded to trip and fall face down onto the ground. Deidara stared. A good boy? He can't even walk.

"Nobody saw that, right?" the man said hurriedly. When no one replied, he just straightened and dusted himself off. He was wearing an orange mask with a single eye hole to peer out of. Deidara strained his eyes but couldn't see any sign of life within the hole.

Tobi walked up to Deidara, hand stretched out. "Hello! I'm gonna be your new partner!"

Deidara glanced at his two stumps, then looked at Sasori inquisitively.

For the first time, Tobi seemed to take into account the puppet master. "Oh, uh... you're still alive then?"

Sasori stared blankly. "Does it look like I'm not? Zetsu, what sort of joke is this?"

White Zetsu sighed. "Tobi wants to join Akatsuki very badly. He has unique... skills... that would be beneficial to the organization. We brought him along to meet you-"

"To meet Deidara," Sasori said gruffly. "You expected me die out here, then?"

"N-no-"

The cloak swirled around. "Good. You can dismiss this sorry excuse for a shinobi, now. Deidara, come. We're leaving."

As straightforward as ever. Deidara gave a farewell nod to Zetsu, another odd look at the downcast Tobi, then began walking alongside Sasori in the direction of the main base.

XXX

Tobi

"Hmm, well I would say your entrance was a little premature, wouldn't you say, Tobi?"

"You said he was going to die. You said the old woman would be good enough to deal with him."

"I was wrong."

He sat down on a rock, began fiddling with a nearby puppet arm. "This slows things down now. Nagato won't allow me to join with no vacancies. All thanks to your idiotic miscalculations."

"I liked it better when you were in character."

"Oh, BOTHER!" he yelled, throwing up his hands for emphasis as he raised his voice to a higher pitch. "What ever shall I do now?"

"I would hope the answer is obvious," Black Zetsu said flatly. "Create a vacancy. Get rid of Sasori yourself instead of relying on Konoha to do it for you."

He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "There's the sweet spot," he said softly. "I've been in the shadows long enough, it's time to move out into the open and do things right." He stood up, adjusted his mask. "If you want something done right, you do it yourself... Kamui."

Gone with the wind.