Title: A Realistic Introduction: God's Fail-Safe

Cat.: SPN

A/N: There are so many A/B/O stories out there with shaky, or downright unexplained, reasoning. I'm not saying that there aren't any well thought-out A/B/O stories out there, I just have yet to find them. Story recs for ones I might have missed are welcome – preferably with Alpha!Dean ;). If anyone can think of a topic I missed, just let me know and I'll add an addendum chapter. Any questions, leave a review, and I'll get back to you. Keep in mind I can only respond if you're logged on. Kiddies may want to take five minutes and see my profile for the Underage Notice. Enjoy!

Sum.: An exploratory essay on one way to make many elements of a typical A/B/O verse integrate with canon. Hopefully realistic, given the base material. Revolves around the idea of a Human Tablet (there's got to be one, right?), written pre S10.

Rating: It's an A/B/O essay, what do you think? M for safety: topics, language, and frank discussion of sex.

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural, and unless I win the lottery next week, never will.


God's Fail-Safe: An Introduction and Incorporation of the A/B/O Verse into Supernatural Canon

Not many people know this story; they only know the effects. When the first seal was broken by Dean in Hell, an ancient tablet started glowing. This thing was really old, as in, God would look at it once in a while and blow the dust off, old. It was where He (or at least, His scribe) had written about a top-secret, fail-safe plan, just in case Lucifer's children managed to break the first seal on his cage. God knew this would, unfortunately, happen, as He does know all. He also knew that this would not be the fault of the Righteous Man, or of humanity at large. Being Righteous did not make Dean non-violent, and the child molester currently writhing beneath his blade in Hell had, in Dean's view, done wrong.

So, God had decided that when His angels and the demons decided to try and end everything, He'd arrange for a monkey wrench to be thrown in. Well, more like an upgraded monkey, but the idea was still the same.

When Dean broke the first seal, the tablet glowed, specifically a few characters in the bottom left corner. When Castiel raised Dean from Hell, and returned him to life, the tablet dispensed with the melodramatic glowing, and instead just slammed a hand down on the metaphorical 'big red button', and a pulse started.

In the middle of the Earth's core, when this thing decided to start pulsing, it pulsed. At the same time, Chuck got a huge headache. So, in fact, did a hell of a lot of other people, but for a different reason. They also lost consciousness for a short time, which resulted in many fender benders, scoldings for sleeping on the job, and, in one particular case, a messy kitchen as someone didn't get the chance to put a lid on the blender, and that dropped lid hit the "High" button. The random earthquakes it generated all over the world (even in the middle of tectonic plates, which had hundreds of scientists pulling their hair out) ended up being relatively minor, but seismologists couldn't be expected to know that the tablet had activated the airbag, as it were. Although it certainly made Dean's fight from his coffin easier when the quake shook loose a good foot of the dirt above him, even if his head was pounding. The Human Tablet had had one of it's smaller sub-programs activated. Nobody was to know that God had privately thought of this program as a "Michael, Lucifer, play fair with all the other Creations, or it's the time-out corner for both of you this time" program. It would greatly help to unite the humans, especially those in family groups, yet still allow free will. God knew that His angels would have a much harder time against the Winchester brothers if only those two knuckleheads felt justified in expressing their 'girly' and 'unmacho' feelings.

Not to mention, in about fifty years (and because of this), a little Venezuelan boy would be born that would grow up to discover a gluten free, high protein, high fiber, hardy, high-yield grain that would put an end to most of the world's hunger! Win-win!

So, a millisecond after the Righteous Man's soul was slammed back into a restored body, the Human Tablet pulsed, and the Earth shook. Scientists would later try and say that huge waves of an unknown radiation had leaked out of the Earth's core with the quakes, but everyone knew they were just trying to find a science-y explanation. You may as well say that a radioactive spider bite could really let you climb up walls, instead of just making you have a series of nasty flushing injections.

Some people changed; at some fundamental point in their psyche, a couple neurons crossed, or uncrossed, or started a conga line, but they changed. It wasn't everyone. The cut-off age seemed to vary around 45-50, and there didn't seem to be a racial, geographical, or gender predisposition. The occasional group of chimps may start to exhibit the same tendencies, but it was mostly limited to humans. Just not all humans. It wouldn't be until the year 2207 when the type of math would be invented that would allow to even begin trying to figure out why everyone wasn't changed, and by then, most simply didn't remember or care. By then, the Changed were the norm.

Twihards around the world jumped on the changes so fast that their poor, bewildered fathers were left with their heads spinning. They started trying to call these Changed humans werewolves, or shapeshifters, but the mature adults in their communities just facepalmed. Aside from a little increased cardio endurance and a strangely increased senses of smell and touch, the Changed ones were physically no different than the normal humans (other than some initially terrifying sexual alterations – we'll talk about that later). They certainly did not start running around shirtless with instant abs of steel. The reasonable adults never completely got through to the Twihards, and for years, dozens of Changed ones (specifically, the males with even half-decent abs) would find random girls/women staring into their eyes with slightly psychotic expressions.

Scientists, like always, tackled anything perceived as difference to the human race with unparalleled mania. The first week? Small potatoes, half the scientific community still thought these researchers were quacks. The second week? Okay, maybe they have a bit of a point, but it wasn't worth leaving their own research over. But by the end of the first month? New behaviour patterns amongst select individuals were being noticed around the globe, and it could no longer be put off as trauma from the earthquakes. Psychologists were the first to give up; after a number of their own had analyzed their own changes, it became firmly established that the source must be physiological. Biologists and chemists waved the white flag soon enough; there just wasn't enough known about the brain yet. Sure, they could establish some facts, like the cardio and sensory thing, but not enough for the answers the general public (including many of those afflicted) were demanding. It was eventually anthropologists that stepped up to the plate. A multi-national European team had gotten together (and, coincidentally, drunk) and managed to put together a synopsis of observations by the end of six weeks post-quakes. They didn't even attempt to explain the cause of the changes, merely that they were here, and by the looks of things, here to stay.

Some people wanted to call the changed ones mutants; some called them primitive throwbacks; some whackos even called them zombies, though nobody was really sure why. The anthropologists dubbed them homo sapiens sapiens mentalis alternum, or 'Other Mind' humans. Through observation and interview of over 100 Other Mind individuals, the anthropologists divided them into three distinct classes.

Primaries were frequently male, but it wasn't unheard of for women to be part of this group, which made up about 30% of all those Changed. They did tend towards aggression, but further study revealed that this was completely linked to new social behaviours, and the other classes considered it normal, even comforting. And it wasn't as if Primaries were uncontrollable beasts, they just usually ended up being the shoot first, ask questions later (if absolutely necessary) type. Primaries, however, even in a rage could usually be calmed by the presence of a family member, spouse, or close friend. As long as it wasn't this person doing the enraging. Primaries were also extremely protective of those they saw as part of their family group, and cared for them with something approaching fanaticism. Being a Primary quickly found one in a quandary, though, if employed in a profession such as covert investigations, correctional facility guards, law, or telemarketing. However, about a year and a half after the Change, Primaries found themselves sought after by police, red cross, and search&rescue services greatly.

Secondaries had an even mix of male and female, and made up the majority of those Changed, at about 45%. It was, at first, difficult to distinguish this class from ordinary humans, but it was soon found that secondaries were the ultimate peacemakers and mediators for the other classes. They were more mellow than Primaries, and seemed to be able to instantly understand the new social mores of the Changed. Secondaries quickly found themselves niches as the teachers, doctors, and general sounding boards for the other two classes. A team of Secondaries worked with the anthropologists to produce the report that set the world on fire, outlining in basic terms everything that had happened. The Other Mind humans used that report as a guideline, matching the changes they were experiencing to the changes of others, and found reassurance in that. Normal humans used the report to choose their side. They either realized that the changed weren't all that different, or somehow used it to further their zombie theories. Either way, Secondaries found themselves with a knack for making themselves indispensable wherever they applied themselves.

The third class took a little longer to identify. Only 25% of those Changed were Tertiaries, and most turned out to be female, though there were a fair share of men classed as Tertiaries as well. It was probably the most versatile class, even if they leaned towards timidity in the same way Primaries were aggressive. Tertiaries were the fixers; they filled whatever role they felt was missing from, or would best serve, their family group. They could act like either a Primary or a Secondary based on that. But it didn't take long to establish that they were at their best when they were being looked after, something that drew Primaries to them like moths to flame. That's not to say that Tertiaries couldn't look after themselves or others; in fact, Tertiaries ended up in nursing and various assistance positions with alarming regularity. The only downside was that, much like Primaries, they ended up getting booted from jobs requiring a very controlled level of aggression, like politics, or telemarketing.

Those were the three groups that the Changed found themselves in, but they were not the only divisions. Gender lines found themselves both undergoing radical changes in regards to their sexual activities. Emergency rooms and medical hotlines around the country got incredibly awkward visits or calls from hysterical, terrified men. While it was later found that the issue was simply an adaptation to the changed males' lowered sperm count, and the shorter lifespan of the sperm, it had initially caused a wave of panic. During intercourse, the Changed males found the base of their penis swelling, and by the time of ejaculation, this swelling had reached a high point that more often than not resulted in them getting 'stuck' in their partner. The swelling lasted for a seemingly random amount of time, differing from couple to couple. While physically harmless, the men found that it frequently resulted in awkward conversations if they were coupling with a woman they didn't really know. Talking about the weather didn't really cut it anymore. However, it was simply a physical adaptation to the body's lower chances to reproduce and continue their species, by ensuring that there were no 'leaks' as it were. The report team were reluctant to call this 'knotting' (probably because one Alexei Knotting was a member of the team), but there wasn't really another term for it. The phenomenon was already present in the natural kingdom in several canine species for similar reasons, and it wasn't really surprising that Mother Nature / God / Deity-of-choice-according-to-your-personal-beliefs had used a tried and true method again.

Unfortunately, this did nothing to chase off the TwiGirls.

Women were particularly frustrated, as not only did they have to deal with their menstrual cycle, but at the peak of fertility, they experienced an Annoyance. At this time, never for more than a day or so, their brains send out a type of pheromone that promptly drove nearby males crazy. It had ended up acting like a strong aphrodisiac, affecting both the male and female. It never got to the point of uncontrollable rutting in the streets, only a lot of cold showers, awkward arrangement of pillows, laptops, and other such lap-covering tools, and, as they're politely called in the report, 'assistive products'. The pheromone affected everyone differently, mainly based on their ability to resist, and sheer willpower. It was personalized, however, to the female herself – this prevented blood-related men from being affected. In future years, it would become regular practice for young girls, who had just had their first period, to be kept at home until their first Annoyance had passed. This would let them learn the warning signs (pains often confused with period cramps, and dramatically increased sexual urges), so they could stay home from school in time to prevent a lot of problems for other students that were also Changed. The anthropologists and the Secondaries had a difficult time naming this phenomenon, despite pop culture's insistence on calling it a Heat Cycle. That name as a reference to the similar time experienced by cats and dogs was incredibly insulting, but unfortunately stuck, even after the team settled on the term 'Frenzy Fever'. The all-over bodily warmth experienced when under the effects of the pheromone played a big part in the 'polite' name.

There was a final aspect to the new sexual behaviours that in further years would see divorce statistics dropping dramatically. The Other Mind humans had a strange propensity to latch onto another individual, that even Secondaries had a difficult time explaining. Not that they couldn't. This latching just seemed so ingrained in them, that nobody had even considered the possibility of explaining it. Only when Heidi Tullen (one of the anthropologists) caught her boyfriend in bed with another woman did the subject of monogamy get presented to one of the Changed. Josephine DuBois, a Secondary friend of Heidi's on the research team reacted strongly when asked a rhetorical question by a tipsy Heidi: "Would you ever do that?" and the viciousness of her response prompted Alexei to look into the romantic habits of the Other Mind humans. It wasn't long before he noticed the trend, which was good, because the report was only a week away from publishing. The Changed felt fine about casual relationships, and frequently took part. However, occasionally two would decide to commit to one another, and when they did, that commitment became absolute. The report called this 'Pairing'. The Paired up Changed never cheated, never broke up, and usually began planning weddings right after the decision. Interestingly, Paired males were only affected by their partner's Frenzy, and seemed immune to all others'. When Alexei interviewed them individually, he had to get Josephine's help to mediate, because he offended each and every one by asking if their eyes ever strayed. Before he got her help, he was sporting two black eyes because of different pissed off Primaries. It was noted that the Paired individuals were particularly happy, and nine times out of ten had a very positive outlook on the future. There also didn't seem to be any requirement for a relationship to have different class types, though it couldn't be denied that Primaries and Tertiaries were drawn to each other (likely because of their ingrained needs to care and be cared for), and frequently Paired. Josephine ended up Paired with David Kinderson, another Secondary that she brought into the research team.

On Heidi's behalf, the entire report team sent her ex-boyfriend and his new woman half a dozen glitter bombs.

It wasn't just the normal humans that wanted names to put to the Changeds' types and behaviours. After all, psychological and behavioural changes, with a few physical changes, were all they got. Language is a learned behaviour, not part of human instincts, so an Other Mind couldn't immediately take a whiff of someone and think 'Primary', they just knew. They had to learn a name to associate with the instinct. Despite the scientific, polite names used in the report, pop culture (with heavy influence from the Twihards) had a way of renaming everything, introducing a plethora of slang phrases into the terminology. Is it really any surprise that they started calling Primaries, Secondaries, and Tertiaries by the names Alpha, Beta, and Omega? That their family groups ended up Packs, their Paired Mates, their homes Dens, their children pups? Some of the Other Mind humans found these terms annoying, some found them amusing, but, much like the Heat debate, the terms stuck.

It was only after the report's publication that the Other Mind family groups started being called Packs, something most of the Changed scoffed at. The term 'Pack' implies a strict social hierarchy, similar to that of wolves. Due to the numbers, and the fact that Other Minds rarely married normal humans, most family groups had a Primary (or Tertiary) in their midst that ended up in a leadership position. This was not to say that they ruled their family groups with an iron fist, and it wasn't unheard of for a group to have more than one Primary. The individual that ended up in that position simply did their best to ensure the whole family group was safe, content, and healthy, and usually worked with the group to accomplish this state. Leadership did carry authority with it, but the research team couldn't find a single family group that believed the authority was anything other than an emergency measure. Family groups could end up quite large, as the Changed tended to enjoy socializing with family, and frequently found extended families all living together. The family member with the most experience or ability usually found themselves leading, regardless of other Primaries or Tertiaries in the group. This is not to say that Secondaries couldn't lead, they simply found themselves most comfortable in other roles. The Secondaries on the research team helped to explain that this familial group leadership was not a formalized thing, like the Twihards were screaming about; rather, it just happened. One member suddenly found themselves accorded with the complete trust of the whole group, and members of the same familial group found a great deal of reassurance from that one's presence.

That is not to say that there wasn't some degree of dominance issues in the Changed society, but it wasn't all that different from normal human displays. A normal teenager tries a cigarette and comes home reeking? They're going to get scolded, grounded, or maybe even made to smoke until they puke, to prevent them from ever wanting to ever again. A normal person gets a little too grabby? They're going to get yelled at, slapped, or punched, depending on the person. A normal classroom gets too rowdy? They're going to get the Teacher Stare of Doom. Other Mind humans tended to react to those same situations in similar degrees of escalation as their normal human counterparts, keeping in mind that Primaries do tend to be more aggressive, and Tertiaries more passive.

In comic books, a new sub-species of humans emerging would usually see one of two typical initial responses: huge protests, riots, fights, and discrimination; or the new humans keeping quiet, to themselves, and hiding from the evil government's unfair persecution. Possibly both. The reality ended up different. The politicians and playmakers of the world, truthfully, were mostly over the cut-off age, and found themselves personally unaffected. But even before the report came out, everyone knew someone who had Changed. Especially when the children of a good third of the Canadian House of Parliament ended up Changed, along with several minor Members of Parliament. Whether it was a family member, neighbour, colleague, or just a friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend, even politicians realized that if challenged, any sane court of law would judge the Changed as being able to vote. It would be in their best interests if they enacted legislation to solidify that before it was asked for. Even weeks after the report, nothing had been formalized (probably because there had been no pressing elections), but several world leaders had made promising statements. This did nothing to stop resentment and slowly boiling anger from certain ideological factions, but that's a story for another time.

God chuckled to himself as Michael and Lucifer (and assorted minions) pulled their metaphorical hair out trying to drive a wedge between the new, more open Winchester brothers.