Photograph
Summary: Look at this photograph. Every time I do, it makes me laugh. SLASH!!! AkuRoku, hints of Zack/Aerith
Disclaimer: Don't oooooooownnn!!!
Warnings: Boy-love… fluff… yeah…
"Axel?" Aeris Gainsborough stuck her head through the door and couldn't help but raise an eyebrow when she found the nineteen years old redhead sitting on the floor in his room with three photo albums and countless of pictures spread out around him.
She would have berated him for the mess, but since the young man had been in her care for three years now there was no need; Axel was a good kid, and if he'd made a mess there was probably a reason. Bedsides, in her profession Aeris had learned long ago that everything had a more or less logical explanation.
And so, she slid into the room and shut the door softly behind her, walking over to put a hand on his shoulder.
"I'm sorry," he said and turned to look at her with shining green eyes and a sheepish smile. He held a bunch of photographs in his hands as well; Aeris was surprised she had never seen his large collection before. "I didn't mean to make a mess. I was cleaning out the wardrobe when I found these albums, and I dropped one of them so the pictures fell out. And then when I was picking them up… I guess I got caught up in the memories."
Glancing at the wardrobe which was still standing wide-open and half-empty, Aeris nodded understandingly. She had an entire cupboard full of pictures at home, and she was almost afraid to taking them out and sorting them through, because she knew she'd get caught up in looking at them.
"It's fitting, in a way," she told him and sat down beside him. "To stand here at the beginning of a new road and look back at everything you've been through. Things like that can usually give you a real kick."
"I had almost forgotten I had these," Axel muttered distractedly. His eyes had caught on a certain picture in the navy-blue album, and without further ado, he pushed it over and pointed it out to Aeris.
The picture was certainly not high quality, but the emotions in it were genuine. Axel and all his high school-friends were fighting and pressing close together in order to fit in the frame. They were laughing and making crude gestures at the camera: a typical display of youthful silliness. Aeris could only smile at the sight.
"Look at this photograph," Axel asked her, chuckling softly. "Every time I do, it makes me laugh. Demyx," he pointed to a boy on the picture who had an arm slung around Axel's own picture self; Aeris remembered him coming to visit Axel quite often when she was on duty, "had a period when he decided that everything we did needed to be documented. As you can see, the camera isn't exactly his best friend. How could our eyes get so red?"
Aeris laughed softly while Axel's finger slid to another picture, diagonally to the right of the first one. It was a picture of a rundown apartment building, and this one wasn't the most professional of pictures either. Axel's voice was neutral when he told her:
"This is where I grew up. Demyx told me the new owner fixed it up. Too bad he can't do anything about the rest of the neighbourhood…. See those old fire-stairs on the side? …I used to sneak out that way all the time."
He turned the page. Another building, not as shabby, but very boring in all its brick-glory, stared up at them from the page.
"This is where I 'went to school'," Axel made quotation-signs with his fingers on the last three words; he knew he could be perfectly honest with Aeris, she wouldn't judge him. "At the time I thought I had better things to do, you know?"
"Like committing crimes." It wasn't really a question, and her tone wasn't the least bit scolding. He gave her a wry grin which she answered with one of her own.
"Yeah," he admitted easily. "According to my criminal record I broke in twice," he laughed. "I must have done it half a dozen times!"
Aeris just let him laugh; she knew he wasn't really proud of his mistakes, or found them funny; it was just Axel's way of coping with things. And just as she knew he would, he settled down after only a moment.
Putting his hands behind him and leaning back on them, he gazed up at the white stone-ceiling with a thoughtful and serious expression.
"I wonder if it's too late," he asked out loud, not necessarily her. "Aeris, do you think I should go back and try to graduate?"
"What do you think?"
"Well… my life's better now, obviously. I'm smarter, too. But you know; if I were them, I wouldn't let me in!"
This time she laughed with him, even as she patted his knee affectionately.
"Truth to be told, Axel," she said and her own green eyes met his. "I think whatever you decide to take on from now on, you'll do just fine."
He quickly averted his eyes back to the albums again, but not before Aeris caught his shy and hopeful smile. It made her feel warm inside; here was a young man who got a second chance –who was ready to do something with his life. Despite his odds, his childhood, the violence, the drugs and injustice, despite his street gang days and serious crimes, here he was; ready to try again, the right way. He'd just needed… a pushin the right direction!
Axel was flipping through the second album now. Most of the people in the pictures Aeris had never seen before, with a few exceptions. Demyx she knew, of course, as well as Reno and Kairi; Axel's siblings, who were the only members of his family who had bothered to come visit him. Aeris suspected it was best that way; Axel had already sworn in one of their sessions that he never wanted to see neither his father nor mother again.
There were other people in there as well. Boys and girls; some older, some younger, some the same age as him… some friendly and happy-looking, others serious, and then some who were flipping the camera off. Aeris got the feeling that Demyx was the kind of person others easily got irritated with.
Then her sharp senses noticed Axel's hand faltering on one page. She raised an eyebrow as she realized the pictures on that page were all of the same person:
A cute blond boy, probably a year younger than Axel, was smiling shyly or sardonically from the photographs. Unlike Axel and most of his other friends, who wore dark, strange outfits and makeup (Aeris remembered Axel looking that way when she met him at the tender age of sixteen; quite different from the simple jeans and T-shirt he wore nowadays. According to her, it was an improvement… it just felt like he wasn't trying so desperately hard anymore), this boy was dressed neatly in his blue school-uniform, even though the worn school-bag and skateboard under his arms hinted that he wasn't quite a perfect student.
Sitting perfectly still and silent, she observed as Axel stroked a finger tenderly over the image of the boy. Almost reluctantly, he turned the page again, and his face became unreadable when the next image was of the same blond kid, only looking slightly older, dressed in his graduation-costume and surrounded by friends. Aeris guessed it had been about two years since the picture was taken on his graduation; Axel had been in intensive care and unreachable even by his closest family at the time.
"He's probably halfway to Harvard by now," Axel murmured almost bitterly, making Aeris look at him. Finality, longing and tenderness warred in his eyes, as if he was being forced to say goodbye to something he had desperately held on to until now. But then he noticed her watching and closed the album with an embarrassed snap.
Aeris decided not to comment on it.
"What else do you have to show me?" She asked playfully and slid a little closer.
Axel took the bait, probably happy with the change of subject. He opened the last album; a green one, and the first picture was of a huge red Van. His grin returned almost instantly.
"I used to drive my friends around in that thing all the time, with the music on top volume!" He said happily. "We used to sing along with every song we knew… and that was practically every single one. Demyx said someday he'd find out how it felt to sing to more than just a steering wheel. And what do you know; last thing I heard, he'd actually gotten himself a manager!"
He looked genuinely happy for his friend. That was another thing Aeris had been happy to find out in their years of acquaintance. No matter how shitty his own existence had been, Axel had kept his ability to root for others.
He turned another page, and there, quite unexpectedly, was a picture of fifteen-year-old Axel in the middle of a fierce lip-lock with some blond, short-haired girl. Aeris had to glance questioningly at him this time, and he looked more than a little uncomfortable.
"Larxene's the first and only girl I've kissed," he admitted. "I was so nervous that I nearly missed; she's known for her short temper and nasty spinning kick. I was afraid she'd kill me… but fortunately I can run faster than her. The fact that I was kissing her only to make someone else jealous didn't exactly make anything better…." For a moment he seemed lost in some memory or other, and Aeris let him.
"She's had a couple of kids since then, I've heard," he stated suddenly. "With Marluxia, of all people! I could have sworn that guy was gay! …Not that that's any of my business. I haven't seen them since god knows when." The thought seemed to sadden him, like so many others did, and once more Aeris stayed quiet but understanding. Axel had a lot of catching up to do now that he was finally getting out, but the mere fact that he was willing to rise to the challenge was more than enough proof that he'd make it.
Getting started is half the work, after all.
"Are you ready, Axel?" Aeris asked when they had been silent for a very long time. She hoped she'd read the signs right, and now was the right moment.
He looked at her for a few seconds; taking in her supportive but passive energy. Then he looked down at the pictures; at the hundreds of faces staring up at him.
In a way, his entire life thus far was spread out here on the bed-room floor. And for some reason, that thought gave him courage and a sense of power. He had been a stray dog until now; controlled entirely by impulses and instincts and emotions. Then he'd been shot, and arrested, and brought here to Aeris and her boyfriend and all the other staff of Fair and Gainsborough's Safe Haven, and it was as if someone had given him his thoughts and senses back. It had been a long, painful journey, but the fact that he could sit like this and look back at his past with such critical, unbiased eyes was like a rush of adrenaline. It was control in its purest form; control of himself and his decisions.
And goddammit, he'd made it thus far; that had to count for something!
"Yeah," he said at last and started to collect the photographs while a happy, confident smile spread on his lips. Seeing this, Aeris couldn't help but smile herself, and she started helping him.
Twenty minutes later Axel turned around in the door, suitcase in hand, and looked back at the light, pleasant room which had been his prison, then home, then sanctuary for three years. He wasn't going to miss it; he was done with this place. He had much bigger things waiting for him out there. It was time to move on.
"What are you going to do now?" Aeris asked as they made their way through the beautiful ivory corridor of the huge centre. Axel looked out the large windows at the clear blue sky and beautiful garden outside. Gardening was Aeris biggest passion, and he knew she loved having sessions out there with her patients. He'd spend many afternoons among the lilies and rosebushes himself; some of his greatest breakthroughs had happened there.
"Anything I have to to get on the right track," he answered honestly. "I'll need money if I want to finish school, so I'll take as many odd jobs as I can."
"I have a few connections I could call," she told him casually. "Just to get you started."
He thanked her graciously. He'd long since moved passed the stage where he was too proud to admit that he needed help. When you've been shot twice and then brought into court for smuggling drugs and weapons, you soon realize just how fucked up you are.
"I'm gonna miss Twilight Town, though," he mused.
"You're not going back, then?"
"Honestly? I don't think I ever will. Sure, it's a nice place, and I've got some good memories from it, but there's nothing there anymore, at least not for me. All my friends have moved, and let's face it: it was in Twilight Town that all the shit happened. Besides, I don't wanna be anywhere near my parents."
"That's a pretty big step," Aeris sounded proud. "It's not easy to start over completely like that."
"Yeah well, I'm making a new life now, aren't I?" She loved seeing that hopeful look in his eyes. "Then everything old must go."
"You should never let go of everything," she warned. "We must learn from out mistakes. And not everything was bad, was it?"
Axel's eyes softened then, and Aeris had a good idea what, or rather who, he was thinking of.
"Nah, there were good stuff too," he agreed as they stepped out onto the top of the stairs. In front of them the huge entrance-hall to the rehabilitation-centre was in full view; marble-floors, huge windows and crystal chandeliers included. "I know one thing that would never change."
And at that moment, Axel shot a look over Aeris shoulder, and froze.
Standing at the bottom of the stairs, grasping the hem of his cream-coloured jacket nervously, was a cute, blond boy with the most beautiful blue eyes he had ever seen.
"Roxas?" He whispered disbelievingly, and his suitcase hit the floor.
Aeris stepped aside and watched tenderly as Axel stopped on the first step, almost as if he was afraid to go further, lest Roxas disappear. The blond on the other hand looked as if he was going to burst, and every fibre of his feelings for the redhead was blatantly obvious in his eyes, even to a blind man.
They remained like that for a long time, until Aeris felt like whapping Axel over the back of the head and yell 'Can't you see he's practically ACHING for you, silly?!'. Luckily, though, she didn't have to, because in the next moment Axel was taking two steps at a time; running down the stairs with such speed it looked like he was going to knock Roxas over.
But when they finally did collide, it was passionately and tenderly and absolutely perfect. Axel literally swept the little blond off his feet, and they were hugging and laughing and kissing until Aeris felt tears of joy rise in her eyes.
There were people in the room; people who were watching them in surprise and confusion, but Axel and Roxas didn't care.
"I'm sorry," Roxas breathed in between sloppy, loving kisses, and he squeezed Axel's neck harder, never letting go. "I'm so sorry… I was afraid to… I didn't know if you wanted to see me… Demyx said you never mentioned me… I didn't think you… I'm sorry… I should have come sooner… I'm sorry…"
"I was such an idiot," Axel whispered back huskily, not even noticing that he was still holding Roxas a good few inches above the floor and spinning slowly on the spot. "An idiot, a moron, a complete and utter shithead! I was so stupid, Roxas, but I'm better now! I promise I'm smarter; I'm ready to live now. Please, don't ever leave again. I promise I will try, and I'll never ever go back to the moron I was… just promise you won't leave me, and I'll work my fingers to the bone to make you happy. Please… please… god, I love you so much…"
"Shhh," and Roxas kissed him again, wishing more than anything that he could crawl into Axel's skin and merge with him, so that they could never be apart again. "I promise. I love you too. Shhh…"
Aeris was still watching at the top of the stairs. A cynical person might have remarked that they looked ridiculous; two young men sobbing confessions and promises in the middle of the hall all the while spinning slowly as if caught up in a slow dance. Personally, Aeris would have liked to smack that person hard.
It was love. Who the fuck cared?
A snap and a buzz sounded from behind her suddenly, and then a strong arm enveloped her waist before she could turn around. Aeris instantly knew how Roxas was feeling at the moment; wrapped in the arms of someone who was made to live for you.
"Looks like Firefly made it through," Zack murmured softly in her ear, and then the photo he'd just taken with their instant camera was held up in front of his fiancée's eyes. "This one's a keeper, isn't it?"
Aeris took a moment to study it, and then softly giggled her agreement. Zack was a much better photographer than Demyx; he'd managed to capture the moment between their favourite patient and his lover perfectly.
Years later, Aeris Gainsborough had become Aeris Fair, and she'd had lots of babies with her loving husband while saving countless of young lives through their Safe Haven. Even then, she'd still show the photograph (placed carefully among the many others on her desk) to all her visitors, and be proud.
"Look at this photograph," she'd tell them. "Every time I do, it makes me laugh."
Anyone who can guess what song I based this one on will get a cookie. I have a feeling I'll be losing a lot of cookies! XD
Some wise old man once said: "It's never over until you give up." I live by that.
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R&R!!!
