There was nothing particularly dangerous about Alfred Jones's latest expedition. That is, until he accidentally became involved in a chain of events that would signal the destruction of the world itself. It began (as these things tend to do) in the most innocent and well meaning ways. How do I know this you're asking? Well… I'm his brother, Matthew or I suppose you might call me Canada I'm not too bothered about names really, just don't mix the two of us (I mean me and Alfred/ America) up… or else… yeah, it's unpleasant for us all
… I'm going to impart this story on to you all as a warning… to make sure you never become too engrossed with something you were never meant to have.
Now don't pretend you're clueless what I'm talking about… it's like when you do something you know you shouldn't… only to do the same thing the next day and the day after…and so on… but maybe this story will make you stop and think…maybe you should leave your indulgent pleasure be… Now because I'm in the story… I'm going read it from I book I wrote not so long ago… so don't get think that I'm being facetious when I refer to myself in the third person okay?
It was a delightfully hazy spring. Alfred Jones, who you also know to be The United States of America, had recently received a letter from an anonymous sender about a mysterious antique collector who had recently been acquiring items of great interest, some items that were literally priceless because they were so rare… but then others that had little worth what so ever, yet he always bought these items under the same mysterious alias… X, simply an X… no 'Mister' no 'san' no 'Frau'... just 'X'.
The items that were bought usually had no connection what so ever, or rather there was certainly no link between them that was decipherable. This wouldn't be unusual in itself… except for the fact that this buyer had been on the floor of auctions all over the world for over 300 years… Was it a family passing down the name 'X?', was it an organisation? Alfred didn't know but he was determined to find out and thus came to the conclusion that he would definitely be having a fun filled summer and would be like a 'P.I' and solve the case.
The more Alfred researched about the mystery 'X' buyer, the more cryptic the puzzle became. For example, this buyer was inclined to let items go up for sale to the floor… even though he would match and beat the asking prices and bids… rather than buy them in advance from the dealer… It was as if this buyer was suspicious that they were being watched, or was paranoid about being discovered.
So what does a young American like Alfred Jones do in this situation?...
Alfred Jones, being a man of many means, but of little finesse, decided to call non-other than Francis Bonnefoy, indeed the living embodiment of France. He explained the project in full, trying to sell it's potential intrigue and mystery. At first the European seemed less than impressed.
"So… let me make sure I 'ave everything clear… you want to make a film… about this mysterious collector?" Francis sounded less than enthused as he patted off the ash of his cigarette out of the window of his office, well office would be an overly formal word. It was more a place where Francis would spend most of his time, but it was a little too informal and comfortable to be an office… bearing in mind their was a chez longue in there… for whatever ever reason…
Francis was a tall and slender man, with shoulder length blonde hair which effortless fell into place perfectly for the most part. He oozed class the vast majority of the time (Sometimes he had very little dignity at all… but those days were behind him… well at least he liked to think so). Always fashionable and never dull, he was a man of high culture and excellent taste and well known for loving anything beautiful and exquisite (anything… living or not), and also being extremely temperamental. One day he may be positively gentle and kind, the next obnoxious, he also had an ever present French lilt in his voice, which he simply could not hide, but knowing Francis… he probably didn't want to.
"A documentary… or maybe a mockumentary… I haven't decided yet!" Alfred said. "But… I figured it might need a bit of… that… I don't know… European art house style… to make it cool… otherwise Arthur's going to totally slam it when it comes to reviews… and you know… you are France… you ooze with charisma… and I know you have a passion for making gorgeous things? I give you permission to go wild! Be as avante garde as you like! I just want to make this film about this mysterious collector!" Alfred knew that stroking Francis' ego was an extremely effective method of persuasion.
Alfred Jones was a young and upbeat man, full of fun and joy of life. He had sandy short hair which was easy for him to maintain and wore spectacles (that he needed desperately; he was practically blind without them). He often delighted in helping others and trying new things (although most of the time his dabbling wasn't welcome). He was particularly bad at reading the atmosphere and using his better judgement. But all in all, he was a good person, who was trying to help everyone… he just had a tendency to get things wrong sometimes.
"Ah well… with smooth talking like that mon ami…how can I refuse?" Francis added jovially, liking the sound of Alfred's proposal. "So… if I agree… where are we filming this… petite project?"
"Well… that's the best part…" Alfred smiled, knowing that this comment would be the one to persuade Francis into taking part. "…London-"
So several days later… The two met up in London, for an extraordinary auction… an auction so exclusive and high flying that it was in one of the most prestigious country homes just a stone's throw away from the city centre. The house itself was so lavish and exquisite that Francis was dizzy with appreciation and was generally in awe. Alfred on the other hand was much more focused on his task…Only the great and good of the world were at this magnificent building… taking part in this exclusive auction that sold the rarest items in the world, ranging from celebrity memorabilia, to furniture to historical artefacts. Alfred and Francis were relieved to find that Arthur was not at the auction, nor were any of the other nations. It would have made them both look rather stupid as neither of them could afford anything at the auction in the current economic climate.
"Ahh… such a shame? That neither of us can actually afford anything at this remarkable place? It makes me prostrate with dismal!" Francis declared, picking up the items he would have liked to buy, had he not been so horribly poor.
"We are only here to interview the auctioneer Francis! And have a look at what 'X' has his eye on…" Alfred said uninterested in all of the old, musty wares. He had his brand spanking new camera and Dictaphone with him… and that was all he needed for now, he'd bring in a camcorder and the next day when the sales actually took place.
"It seems that you have enough money to buy a new camera Alfred." Francis said smirking a little, caressing a piece of clothing that was to be auctioned off. The more he looked at it, the more thought that it was probably from Yao's place. The delicate patterns and silk must have been from China.
"Ah no! This is a present from Kiku!" Alfred smiled, holding the camera preciously. "I really treasure it you know? He got it me for my birthday last year, but I've hardly had chance to use it!"
The auctioneer came in finally, he looked rather nervous, as if he was aware of the fact he was talking to the living embodiments of France and America. He was an elderly man, probably in his late 60, hair thinning and wearing his best suit and bow-tie, he was a thin, tall and sprawling man. He donned a pair of small spectacles and seemed to be carrying an extremely old leather briefcase. America could only assume he had the Received Pronunciation accent to match.
"Good afternoon gentlemen… it's an honour to be speaking to you both." He said, shaking America's hand giddily. "My name is Charles Curdsley… I will be the one over-seeing the auction tomorrow."
"Nice to meet you Charles! I'm Alfred… and this guy here is Francis!" Alfred presented Francis to the elderly British man, who seemed to be brimming with joy and nerves.
"Enchanté de vous rencontrer…" Francis said non-chalantly and began to take a cigarette out of his box, in the cool way that only a French person can, when they pretend to be unaffected by anyone's presence except their own.
"He meant nice to meet you!" Alfred said embarrassed as Francis' condescending behaviour.
"Tout le plaisir est pour moi!" Charles replied smiling, not sensing Francis' aloof atmosphere, or making light of it.
"Ah! Now this I like." Francis said, instantly sounding friendlier. "I'm glad that the language of love is in your vocabulary monsieur!"
"Bien Sur! Some things I think can only be expressed in French…But I'm afraid you can't smoke in here Sir…" he answered.
"Ah! Of course… I'm sorry! I didn't think!" Francis lied, he was actually hoping he would get away with having a cigarette indoors.
"So you are making a film about 'X?' I must say I am rather happy about this! I've noticed it on the records for so long… it puzzled me how it hadn't attracted anyone's attention except for me." Charles confessed honestly.
"I totally understand your point! I got this mysterious letter the other day! I have no idea who it was from … and I thought I had to check it out! It seemed like a story waiting to be told in detail!" Alfred enthused, using more body language than was really necessary.
"Excellent! Topping!" Charles exclaimed with unbridalled joy.
Alfred looked at Francis "YOU HERE THAT FRANCIS? HE JUST SAID TOPPING? AIN'T THAT COOL?"
"Ah…Oui… cool." Francis was more than non-plused.
"I knew that someone would discover it eventually! It's so wrapped in intrigue! I couldn't have hoped for better!"
"I'm so glad someone understands my idea!" Alfred agreed.
Francis on the other hand was rather bemused by the two men's enthusiasm, and was more bothered about the lovely portraits and items around the room. "Is it one of these lovely things?" he said, holding up a vase, looking at the subtle tones in the paint work and the elegant strokes on the body. "These are exquisite… These contours… they are like the lines of a woman are they not? This potter had quite an eye… what a beautiful figure…"
"No not one of those! Hardly unusual enough for 'X's taste!" Charles quipped.
"Yeah Francis! Didn't you read the memo I sent you? 'X' doesn't go for nice things! He goes for mystery!"
"X is a 'e?" Francis said "And… I skimmed it… but when I saw copious uses of the word 'awesome' I was a bit deterred… I thought you would tell me again anyway… so I didn't bother…" he finished.
"I'm guessing he's a he…" Alfred said. "I think it's a he… I mean…I figured that-" Alfred was just about to start on one of his conspiracy theories he'd 'figured out' last night when he was interrupted.
"… to the point gentlemen…" Charles looked at the briefcase and showed Alfred and Francis to his settee, Alfred sat up eagerly like a small child at Christmas. "This is strictly confidential you know… it is a complete secret that I'm showing you this item… I would get into a great deal of trouble if anyone were to find out I showed you this before it went under the hammer-"
"Our lips are sealed! We just want to look at it so we can figure out how to frame our piece for camera? Right Francis?" Alfred said, the excitement from the elderly man was infectious.
"Oui." Francis said, now lazing on the settee, draping his arm along the back and looking more bothered about the cosy settee than the item itself, suspecting it would be some ugly horrible pot or something.
"Well… here we are…" The man slowly put in the combination for the briefcase, building the tension. Alfred was keyed up and ready to go, whereas Francis seemed less than interested.
"Are you ready?" Charles continued, overjoyed that someone was as interested in the mystery buyer as he was.
"I'M TOTALLY READY FOR IT MAN!" Alfred said, unable to contain his excitement.
"Excuse me… I'm just going for a coffee…" Francis stood up and left the room, literally shuddering at Alfred's over-excitement, embarrassed at his cheerful demeanour.
Charles opened the suitcase to reveal a box… a box with strange carvings on… they resembled Celtic knots and a language that Alfred couldn't understand. It was a small, battered thing. It seemed to be in poor condition and had been poorly made.
Despite this, Alfred was fascinated by this little box, this tiny, insignificant box.
"What is it?" Alfred gasped.
"It dates back to about 1000AD…" Charles said, not touching the box, merely leaving it in the case. "It contains a mysterious item… the inscription is believed to read… 'No mortal may open this box…' isn't that thrilling?"
Alfred could barely decipher what Charles was saying in a flurry of excitement, the words merely seemed to mush into one, as he looked at the box… he felt his carefree cheerful demeanour turn… almost unnaturally into a fierce jealousy. At first he merely admired it… but suddenly, there was an odd pull. As if something inside the box was begging to be opened… as if… it wanted Alfred to open it… and Alfred wanted to open it, he felt as if he needed to open it, as if whatever was in it rightly belonged to him.
"Can you open the box?" Alfred barked in an unbecoming fashion. The American's friendly atmosphere had become austere. He instantly checked himself, not wanting to arouse suspicion. "I mean… you know… to look at what's inside?" he feigned an innocent smile, which seemed to relieve Charles who looked worried for a moment at Alfred's change in demeanour.
"Well… I would like to Mister Jones… But I'm afraid it says… no mortal may open this box…and to be quite honest… it is simply impossible… we've had many people over the years try to open the box… with no success… experts… pirates… dare I say… magicians… but to no avail." Charles explained. "It's as if it cannot be opened… though that would seem impossible… this box definitely contains something… listen." Charles shook the box now, a heavy clunky sound could be heard.
Alfred became even more curious, he wasn't a mortal… he couldn't help but wonder… would it open for him? He wasn't human, he was a nation… did that mean he would be able to open the box himself? What was in there that 'X' wanted so badly? Or did 'X' even know that there was something inside? Probably not… he probably only knew it was a coveted box, a box that Alfred may have had the power to open.
He took the box off Charles gently, who seemed a little surprised at Alfred's impulsiveness. As Alfred took the box, he felt something within it click, a tiny creak… but it sounded ancient... but it also seemed to echo within the box too.
Charles was taken aback by surprise, so much so he leapt to his feet. "Good God!" he cried out "How on earth did you do that?" the elderly man quickly collected himself, fascinated by the events that were unfolding.
Alfred wore a devilish smile, not answering the question. "So Charles… do you think we should open it?"
