"Play with Me?"
1
Larry rose from his seat in front of the television set and headed off towards the kitchen. As soon as he had vacated his seat another figure appeared from nowhere and replaced him sitting in the chair. It was the Toy. She immediately re-adjusted her position in the chair, pulling her legs up beneath herself as she made herself comfortable. She was wearing a 1950's-style A-profile dress in bright yellow with black polka-dots and a matching yellow Alice-band to hold her hair in place.
The Toy watched Larry disappear out of view and she then turned her attention to the objects in the room - though there was very little that seemed suitable for her needs. The only real possibility was Larry's television set so that would have to do. She nodded in its direction and it immediately bounded off its stand and on short sturdy legs bounded across the room towards the kitchen. The Toy smiled. She could imagine what Larry's reaction would be. She adjusted her position in the chair so that her legs were slung over one of its arms while she waited for the alarm-bells to go off.
Almost immediately, there was a shout of alarm from Larry followed by a series of four-letter expletives. The Toy shrieked with laughter as Larry stumbled out of the kitchen with the TV set bounding after him. He stumbled to the floor and the very mobile television leapt onto his back. In response to that, the Negative Man surged out of Larry's back destroying the TV set in an explosive finale to the Toy's entertainment. She watched and applauded with great enthusiasm.
"Wonderful, wonderful!" she laughed.
The Negative Man returned to Larry's body and he turned to see who had spoken. "Who the Hell are you?" he demanded.
"I am the Toy!"
"Oh, yeah … and are you responsible for that?" He indicated the broken TV set with a jerk of his thumb.
The Toy laughed again. She shifted her position in the chair and straightened her skirt. "So funny! I can just imagine your face underneath … all that!" She waved at his bandaged face. "So funny …"
"Yeah? Well you broke it so you'll have to replace it!" He got to his feet nonchalantly and brushed down his arms and legs. "I've had that set since 1998. It's a classic!" His language hid the fact that he was alert for any movement from the girl sitting in his seat. He was not sure how dangerous she was or even whether someone who could make TV sets move as if they were alive were anything more than just … annoying!
"So, how did you get in here and what do you want?" he said.
"Oh, Larry … Have you forgotten me so soon? Did what we have together mean … nothing to you?"
Larry was genuinely puzzled: "Excuse me?"
The Toy stepped off the armchair towards Larry. He held his position as she trailed her hand across his arm. "You just used me and tossed me aside. Do you do that to all your women?"
"Who are you?"
She laughed again. "Oh, Larry, you are just playing with me, aren't you? I do love it so when you do that."
"When I do what?"
"Play … with … me."
Larry tried a different approach: "Oh, yeah, I remember now! …. Funny girl, like's to laugh, looking for good time with willing partner, man or woman. No strings attached!"
The Toy laughed. "That's right! Oh Larry, I knew you were going to be fun! And you are! We are going to have so much fun together!"
Larry joined her laughter. He hoped he didn't sound too false as he was now convinced that this girl was several cherries short of a fruit-cake – with the emphasis very much on 'fruit-cake'. "So how did you move the television like that?"
"It's something I can do … That's why I'm called the Toy"
"Toy?"
"Yes, but it's the Toy, never forget the the."
"I'll try not to … So, why are you here?"
"I've missed you, Larry. We've had so much fun in the past that I just had to look you up."
"Remind me … When did we meet before?"
"Never mind all that now. I've come to tell you that's it is play-time!"
"Play-time?"
"Yes, we'll play cops-and-robbers! You can play the cop and I'll be the robber."
"What?"
"Listen, now! I'm going to rob a bank and you'll have to try and catch me!"
"You're telling me that you're going to rob a bank?"
"Yes. All you have to do is catch me and you'll win the game!"
"You're nuts!"
"Larry! That's not nice. Now don't forget … You have to stop me! Bye-bye!"
And with that, the Toy, her face lit by an enormous grin, turned on her heels and disappeared into thin air.
Larry phoned Rita as he was dressing. "Rita, get suited up. I've just been warned that someone is about to rob a bank and we have to stop her."
He quickly brought Rita up to speed on what had recently happened with the Toy. They arranged to meet on the roof of a downtown office-block.
Rita said: "This is a good spot to watch out for your bank-robber. I can see three banks without even turning my head!"
"It'll be like the old days when we went up against ordinary bank-robbers," Larry said.
"But from what you said earlier though, I don't think this Toy is very ordinary," Rita replied.
"It's the Toy. She's very particular about that. You have to call her the Toy," Larry explained.
"Yeah, whatever," said Rita with a throw away gesture.
"I know: it's her thing! What are you gonna do? I'll send the Negative Man to do a sweep of the area to see if she's shown up yet," said Larry. And in readiness, he sat on the ground and when his head slumped onto his chest, the Negative Man rose from his body and zoomed far and wide across the downtown banking district.
It was the hat that drew the attention. She was wearing a wide-brimmed hat in yellow and black and she sauntered into the foyer of the First Commercial and International Bank and went straight up to one of the security guards. Smiling sweetly she said: "Can you direct me to where I can make a withdrawal, please?"
Not unexpectedly, the guard politely pointed her towards a cashier's desk.
The Toy thanked the guard for his kindness and sashayed off elegantly in the direction that had been indicated. At the desk and before speaking a word to the cashier, the Toy paused and withdrew two small manikins from her purse. The first she placed in front of the cashier's counter and the second she placed on the floor behind her. Both of these homunculi then grew in size until they were exact life-size duplicates of the human beings they represented. The one facing the cashier was an exact copy of a bandaged Larry Trainor while the other looked in every way exactly like Rita Farr. The duplicate Rita possessed a machine-gun and was pointing it menacingly at the other people in the bank while the duplicate Larry pointed a hand-gun at the cashier.
"Hand over the money in your register, now!" the duplicate Larry said.
The girl-cashier, her mouth agape in astonishment, froze and was initially unable to do as she had been ordered.
"Do it, now!" duplicate-Larry snarled.
"Nobody else move!" duplicate-Rita screamed. "Or you'll get it!" She waved the machine-gun menacingly as if to demonstrate her point.
The Toy meanwhile, feigning fear, leant towards the girl-cashier: "Oh dear! I'd do what they say if I were you. I don't think that Mister Trainor is famous for his patience!"
That seemed to stimulate the cashier into action and she emptied quickly the contents of her register into a cloth sack that duplicate-Larry handed over to her. Once she had done so, duplicate-Larry announced: "That's it!" and grabbed the sack back off the girl.
The Toy then shouted: "Let's move, people," and with her hand placed on duplicate-Rita's shoulder and duplicate-Larry bringing up the rear, they then cautiously made their way out of the bank.
On the sidewalk outside the bank, the three bank-robbers stopped in their tracks. There facing them, was the real Rita Farr and Larry Trainor.
"This is awkward," Larry said on seeing his duplicate.
"Never mind 'awkward', get them, Larry!" Rita urged. But as Larry hesitated, Rita grew to giant size and swept up all three bank-robbers in her hands.
They didn't seem to put up any struggle at all and so very anti-climactically, the robbery was over and at that moment the first of several police cars arrived on the scene and armed officers were quickly taking control of the situation – their weapons were pointing menacingly at Larry and Rita.
"Release the hostage and give yourselves up!" a police tannoy announced.
Rita looked at Larry and Larry looked at Rita. As Rita returned to normal size, it was clear that she now held only the Toy and two very small manikins.
"Yes, they're the robbers!" The girl-cashier from the bank pointed out Rita and Larry to a plain-clothed detective. "Those two costumed types!"
Other police-officers rushed to relieve Rita of the Toy before placing hand-cuffs on Larry and Rita.
"It wasn't us!" Rita complained. "We were trying to prevent the robbery!"
"Try telling that to the judge," one of the security guards from the bank replied. "We've got you on our security cameras."
Another police-officer rushed the Toy away to one side. "You're okay now, Miss. You're safe!"
"Yes, thank you, Officer," the Toy replied from under the protecting arm of the policeman. "You were simply marvellous to have saved me from those awful people. I'm ever so grateful …"
The Toy smiled as she watched Larry and Rita being taken in handcuffs towards a police-car. "It's probably just like a game to those people," she said.
"Well if it is, it's a game that they just lost!" the police-officer replied.
"You are so right!" the Toy replied.
2
Larry stood in the centre of the line-up. No-one else was wearing bandages over their body or was dressed anything like him so it was not surprising that he was clearly identified by the girl-cashier from the bank and another willing witness, the Toy.
At the courtroom, Larry managed to have a few quiet words with Rita: "She had the nerve to pick me out of the line-up!"
"Not me though, I used my powers to change my appearance," Rita replied.
"Do you think we should just break out?" Larry asked.
"And be fugitives?" Rita replied. "Really?"
"That's a 'no' from you then?"
"Yes, that's a 'no' from me. We need to prove our innocence the legal way. My lawyer is arranging for a visitor to come and see us, someone who can help us."
Larry didn't have time to ask 'who?' before they were ordered to be quiet before the judge entered the court-room.
The visitor didn't arrive until three o'clock the next morning. Rita was fast asleep in her cell. It was the crackle of energy that woke her and told her that Alice Wired-for-Sound was about to appear.
"Hallo, Rita," Alice said. Alice stepped down out of the air to stand next to Rita's bunk. So small was the room in which Rita was kept that Alice's tendrils reached out and scraped along the walls of both sides of the cell. She seemed to be experiencing difficulty in keeping them away from touching Rita.
"This is a small room," Alice said. "You do not have to stay here. Come with me!"
"I cannot," Rita said rising from her bunk. "I could escape myself but then I would be an escaped criminal and I cannot live like that."
Alice smiled: "Then how can I help you?"
"Alice, I need you to seek out the Toy, tell her that we are ready to play again."
"Play again, is that it?" Alice queried.
"Yes. If we beat her at her 'game', then we can prove our innocence of the bank-robbery."
"And if she doesn't want to play again? It seems to me that it would be much easier if you just left here with me!"
"I told you Alice, I can't do that."
"As you like. I can always come and see you in prison."
"It won't come to that, Alice."
"I hope not."
The sound of static within the cell increased until there was a blinding flash of purple light and Alice was gone.
The next day they were back in court though Larry's lawyer was no-where in sight. Larry didn't seem in anyway put-out by this turn of events however, much to Rita's puzzlement.
The reason for Larry's relaxed manner soon materialized. Enid Bassett, dressed in a tight-fitting grey suit strode down the central aisle of the courtroom and took the seat next to Larry.
Rita was astonished: "Enid Bassett is representing you?"
"That's right," Larry replied.
"Sorry I was late getting here, traffic was a bitch," Enid said as she arranged her papers on the desk in front of her.
"You've got papers as well?" Larry asked Enid, impressed.
"I thought it would look good if I did." Enid picked them up tidied them and returned them to her desk.
"Enid, have you had any legal experience?" Rita demanded.
"I've watched My Cousin Vinny," she replied.
"My Cousin Vinny?" Rita replied but louder than she had expected. Several people in the courtroom looked at them with added interest but Larry reminded them to keep down their voices.
"She's gonna get me off," Larry added. "Enid is better than Vinny!"
"You're mad," Rita said to Larry.
"Wait and see," Larry replied.
Enid grinned at Rita. "I've been practicing," she said.
Rita suddenly twigged what was happening: "You're going to use your power!"
In reply, Enid tapped the side of her nose. "Wait and see."
The judge then entered and the court came into session. After the initial legal introductions the time came for Enid to stand and say a few words. As she got to her feet, she smiled at Larry and winked at Rita.
"I have this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach that Enid's going to end up getting us life imprisonment," Rita whispered to Larry.
"Have faith," Larry whispered in reply. If his face hadn't been covered in bandages, Rita would have seen his enormous grin.
Enid took up her position close to the judge's seat and surveyed the entire room. "Learned judge, ladies and gentlemen … " She then glanced back at the judge and caught his eye and at that moment, as they say, the game was over.
Afterwards:
Enid stood with Rita and Larry in a quiet corridor just outside the courtroom. Her face was split by a toothy grin and was clearly extremely pleased with herself.
"That means I'm in then?" Enid said.
"In?" Rita queried. "In what?"
"The Doom Patrol of course! Larry said that …" she indicated the courtroom with a jerk of her thumb, "was to be an initiation test and I passed, didn't I?" She looked expectantly at Larry.
"It was brilliant. Perry Mason would be proud of you!" he said.
Rita glanced at Larry before turning back to Enid: "Enid, I'm sorry but it wasn't mentioned to me."
Enid's face was stricken with astonishment: "What?" And then with disappointment: "Really?"
But Rita's deadpan face suddenly smiled: "But it was brilliantly done. Well done Enid and welcome to the Doom Patrol!"
Enid shouted her yahoos at the top of her voice before she turned to hug first-of-all Larry and then Rita. "This is the best day of my life!" she admitted.
"Seems pretty good to me, too," Larry said.
"And to me," Rita added brightly.
3
It was dusk and Alice Wired-for-Sound was floating in the air above the roof of a white clapperboard house someplace just outside Richmond, Rhode Island. The house was old and in its own grounds – now sadly overgrown and neglected. She was facing a ghostlike-shape, vaguely human, that had risen up from the house to meet her.
The ghost was translucent and slender. It floated effortlessly in the still evening air.
Alice smiled at the forlorn shape – a gentle, sad smile of recognition: "You have faded since last I saw you," she said.
"No-one remembers me," the ghost replied.
"I remember you, Arthur."
"But no-one else does. Without you, I would be nothing more than a whisper on the breeze, a will-of-the-wisp and nothing more."
"Not only do I remember you but I need you. You are the best tracker that I know. I need you to find someone for me; do you think you can do it?"
"After all this time?" he replied hesitantly. "I don't know if I could …"
"But you could try?"
"I could try," Arthur replied his voice brightening. "Who are you looking for?"
It was the next day when Arthur returned to the house in Richmond. Alice was floating near the dew-covered ground of the overgrown garden and her attention was absorbed in the antics of a spider that was rebuilding its web. When Arthur spoke she floated up to meet him.
"I have found her," he announced. "She's a tricksy one though. You'll need to be careful with her."
"I know what she's like and yes, I'd call her tricksy too. Did she see you?"
"No."
"Good: can you take me to her?"
Arthur smiled. His face, though still pale, was no longer translucent for 'purpose' had given him shape and form. It was now possible to see that his hair was brown and untidy and that he had a narrow scar along his chin. "Take my hand and I'll lead you to her," he said.
Arthur and Alice, hand-in-hand, sped through the air towards the Toy. They found her where Arthur had last seen her, in the penthouse suite of an imposing apartment. They passed effortlessly through the apartment wall to land on the plush carpet in front of the Toy.
The Toy did not react with any surprise at the pair's appearance but calmly waited for Alice to speak:
"I bring you a message from Rita Farr: she says that the Doom Patrol is ready to play again."
The Toy's expression of puzzlement changed to one of pleasure. "Oh goody," she replied with relish.
4
Rita found the Toy's note in her bedroom. It was attached to her dressing-table mirror and it read: Button, button, who's got the button? She had signed it as, The Toy, just to be sure that Rita realised who it was that had left the cryptic clue.
