Just a quick little one-shot I had in my mind. I do not own any of the characters; they belong to DC Comics. This was written purely for fun.
"Tetch!"
Another round of pounding against the wooden door passed. When there came no answer, Jonathan Crane heaved an exasperated sigh. "Tetch, come on! Open up!" he called through the wooden barrier between himself and the Mad Hatter. "I know you're in there!" He crossed his arms and waited, tapping his foot impatiently against the ground.
With another irritated sigh, he pounded his fist against the door again. "You knew I was coming, so don't give me any of that "two days slow" crap! We're going to be late!"
"I'm not going!" came the muffled response from inside the room.
Crane threw his arms up into the air. "He lives!" he yelled, his words dripping with sarcasm. "What was that you said?"
"I'm. Not. Going." Tetch restated, emphasizing each word with a brief pause.
Crane leaned against the doorframe, his arms crossed over his chest. He gave the door a hard look, almost like he could see Jervis beyond the wood. "And why not?" he asked in an annoyed tone.
"I refuse to leave my sweet little domain today," was the answer.
"Really now?" Crane egged on as he crossed a leg leisurely over the other. "Then, uh, why did you tell me a few hours ago that you would be going to this thing at Cobblepot's?"
"That was yesterday," Tetch said matter-of-factly. "Today is today."
Crane rolled his eyes in pure irritation and glanced down at his watch. 2:14 AM. "And what is so special about today? Is it your unbirthday?"
The door flew open, startling Crane into an upright position. He found himself staring into the face of a very angry Jervis Tetch.
"Don't you DARE mention anything about unbirthdays today!" the Mad Hatter roared, his usually gentle features contorted in fury.
Before Crane could say anything, Tetch slammed the door back shut. The self-proclaimed Lord of Fear breathed an infuriated curse as he ran a hand through his red hair. "What the Hell is your problem today?!"
He was answered by the locking of the dead bolt.
With a growl of irritation, Crane began circling the area in front of the door, repressing the urge to break in. "It's not like it's your birthday or anything!" he shouted at the closed door.
The unlocking of the dead bolt and the quick turn of the doorknob grabbed his attention, his fury, for the moment, pushed aside.
The door opened only a few inches, enough for Tetch to shoot Crane the dirtiest of looks.
Both parties were silent for a moment, just exchanging stares. Crane finally blinked and looked off to his side, forcing a laugh in disbelief.
"What's so funny?" Tetch growled, never opening the door anymore than those few inches.
Crane looked back at Tetch with disbelieving eyes and a grin on his face. "I don't believe this! All this fuss over your birthday!" he exclaimed before breaking into a fit of laughter.
Tetch's eyes narrowed. "And that's funny, how?" he snarled from clenched teeth.
Crane straightened and brought a hand up to his face to hide his grin. "Look, it's either I laugh, or I murder you on the spot." He drew a deep breath and looked back down at Tetch. "You truly are mad, you know that?"
He was answered by receiving a murderous glare from Tetch.
Crane lifted his hands in defeat. "Fine; you win. You can stay cooped up in there all day if you want," he said as his arms fell to his sides. "I'm leaving."
Tetch watched him walk off with irritated eyes.
Crane paused in mid-step. "Happy birthday!" he called over his shoulder in mock-happiness. When the sound of the slamming door reached him, he let out another soft laugh and continued. "Oh…that man truly is insane… How the Hell am I going to explain this to Cobblepot?"
