Lessons Never Learned –

Spacegypsy1

Lesson One – Always Assume the Worst!

Rated PG!

Daniel cocked his head to and fro, bit his lip and studied the artifact with concentration. If someone had been watching from the doorway – which, by the way, she was – they would have seen the exited interest in his expression.

He left the work station, located his bag of tricks…oops, or rather, his archeology tools, pulled out the bundle, unrolled it, took a small pick and a brush and returned to begin scraping and brushing debris. He would scrape, brush and scrape some more.

"Well, I'll be…" Daniel brushed faster.

Vala's eyes widened and she grinned at his obvious delight as she quietly advanced upon her prey. When the dirty little thingie began to glow, she stopped, opened her mouth in awe, and tilted her head with a raised a brow.

"It's glowing!" Vala jumped as the object continued to glow exponentially.

Daniel flinched, "Damn it, Vala, quit sneaking up like that!"

She pulled her hands to her chest and grinned wickedly. "It's glowing."

"No, it's emitting light." He turned it off. "There."

"Hmm, maybe it was one of those messages like that little can robot thingie in Muscles' movie." She waited hopefully.

His glasses landed on the table next to the device. "Sure, and maybe it will start talking."

"Well, it could."

"As far as I know, there's really not that kind of sophisticated robot in the galaxies we've visited." His tone was patronizing and she glared.

"Cameron told me there are other robot yous…SG-1s; robot Daniel and …."

"Mitchell told you that?"

"Yes, he reads a lot; actually, way too much for my tastes, but that one was quite interesting."

Daniel turned back to the small artifact.

She moved closer and studied the relic. "Turn it on again, I want to see that light, I think I saw something in it."

"Are you kidding me?"

"No, Daniel, really, you were looking at me. I saw something."

"Here, hold this." When she grabbed the muck encrusted item he turned it back on. All of a sudden, their fingers began to fizzle with iridescence – then, like sparklers, it traveled up their arms leaving nothing visible in its wake.

"Oh crap, I can't turn it off."

"Well, Daniel, this is just perfect; no fingers, hands or arms to turn it off. How very nice!"

"It was your idea!"

Their bodies disappeared in a process of fizzles and sparks leaving only a tiny puff of smoke at the end.

"Great!"

"Yes, isn't it, darling? You do realize we can be naked and wander around and no one will know."

"Vala!"

"We can make love on the conference table, right in the middle of a very important meeting, probably about us missing or being invisible. Let's do that, Daniel, it will be such fun."

"This is serious."

"So am I!"

His eyes grew large in irritation, but she only smiled and started unbuttoning his shirt. "Fine, we do it here."

"Stop!"

"Oh, look, it's Sam and Cameron! They're looking for us. This is the most fun I've had in years." She continued to try and strip him as he continued to swat at her seemingly multi-armed attempts.

"Vala? Is that you?"

Vala swung around, hands out in surprise. "Sam?"

"Yes?"

"Can you see us?"

"No."

"Oh good!" Once again she started on her mission to undress her Daniel.

"Stop that! Hey, give me my shirt back!"

"Ah, Jackson?" Cam scanned the room, a look of unadulterated confusion on his face.

"WHAT!" Obviously he was not happy, and both Sam and Mitchell exchanged befuddled looks.

"What happened?" Sam was all seriousness.

"I… Stop that!...Ah, Sam it's the artifact it… Vala will you leave me alone, oh, not fair, put your shirt back on!"

"Jackson…Sam and I are gonna leave, we'll be back in thirty minutes…will that give you two enough time?" The obvious humor in his voice only incited Daniel more.

"Wait guys." He tried to gently shove Vala away. "Not now. Please… Vala! Damn it Vala, stop that! Holy buckets! Oh...ah... ah, damn. NO. Don't. Stop that! Can somebody please help me!!"

"I'm out of here." Sam left with Mitchell laughing uproariously behind her.