There'2 a legit rea2on we never go to ED'2 place… Sollux Captor thought less than pleased with his aspiring that swiftly running out of precious oxygen whilst sinking to the bottom of the ocean with a harpoon trained on your heart was a particularly trying predicament or anything. Or the fact that the certain troll with the harpoon just happened to be that one 'a22hole' of a hipster high blood that had actually gotten away with convincing you to show up here.

Well not here, under the salty depths in the middle of the ocean, but more along the lines of a desolate beach, per se. It wasn't like you could actually go to Eridan's hive anyway seeing how it was about five fucking thousand feet underwater. Well maybe not so drastic, but still the point was you weren't and would never go there. You obliviously lacked the ability to swim anyways. Why would anyone want to be able to swim to start with?

And that is how you ended up in this incredibly annoying development to begin with. That specific predica- wait one motherfucking second here. You don't say 'specific'! You can't say '2peciifiic'!

That certain predicament, as you implied earlier and more successfully now, was life threatening to a certain extent but that wasn't the actual reason you were so hysterically angry over. It was times like this when your Ψiioniic abilities really begin to flare thus rendering your already colored sight into an even more headache inducing haze of red and blue. At least it temporarily shut out the voices you consistently heard.

So maybe you should thank the asshole who was giving you the most annoying and anger inducing smirk of victory for the momentary silence? HA! What a stupid idea! You cringed at the thought. Almost as much as you grimaced at the sight before you;

"Get the hell away from me fii2hdiick!" you yelled when his harpoon left its carefully trained position on the left of your chest to be quickly discarded but somehow wait patiently floating nearby still within reach. However that wasn't what got your blood boiling and your words flying. Nope. It was that stupid way he snatched your double shaded glasses off your astonished face that made you slap at his outstretched hand and kick at the equally as stupid way his mauve cape silently floated in the currentless ocean.

Great. Another horrid idea since this only caused your gray jean clad leg and white shoed foot to succumb to the entanglement of said purple cape. Stupid hipster. In fact you didn't even think capes where a hipster fad; just something he tried vehemently to pull off as old fashion deal or to look badass while submerged underwater. To you, he pulled off neither.

"oohh come on Sol. Just breath, it's not evven that hard." That dumbass joked but how the hell had you understood him anyway? Every time you tried to get a word out all that escaped were a frenzy of bubbles frantic for the surface and of course the gnarled gurgle of a word that he apparently understood perfectly fine. Must be a sea dweller thing. liike beiing amphiibiiou2. You thought for the hundredth time while your red and blue vision swam and your attempts at breaking the surface far far above began to lessen in hostility.

But you thought that it was then as your pathetic attempts at desperately clawing at the sea water surrounding you in some form of swimming that the thought actually occurred to you. That he might actually let you drown. Would he? It seemed to bounce around in your frenzied thinkpan that he might allow you to die down here in the gloomy depths where the only light was the almost mesmerizing shimmer of the golden beams from the sun above that pierced the shallower surface and the harmless glow of your own glowing eyes. It reflected off the smooth glass in his hipster specs you realized. The combination of blue and red cast an eerie flush of purple across his grey skin. Or maybe he wa2 blu2hiing? The insanely prosperous notion shot through your unprepared thinkpan before you could chase it down and command it in your lispy voice to not, under absolutely any circumstances, flip your shit. But it did. And now all the resonating anger was slowly leaving your veins as you understood that this asshole was about to commit a deadly crime.

He wa2 goiing to fuck wiiith the quad2.

So maybe taking the quadrants fatally seriously was more along the lines of something your best bro Karkat would be morally enforcing with strict judgment. However you couldn't help but allow the stray thought to scurry across your processing department while that moronic sea dweller grasped your forearm to bring your distressed flailing to an abrupt cease along with your train of thought. What had been previously arresting your thoughts earlier? You couldn't even remember the things you had been formerly thinking about. Right about now the only things you could comprehend under this suffocating blue abyss was that you were:

a) drowning with zilch assistance from Eridan

b) said sea dweller was giving you a seductively smoldering look

c) you had abso-fucking-lutely no idea what to do about a or b

Oh god. He really was doing that wasn't he? Giving you that deceptively ablaze want like he knew what the hell you might be thinking about. And no you hadn't been thinking about him, like that. Or had you?

"Kismesis…?" he asked lamely while his other hand moved to grip your opposite forearm and once again you noticed how the water didn't seem to distort his voice. How he wasn't bothering to kick his legs in that swimming fashion you couldn't replicate and that was causing them to swiftly tangle with your limp ones. Or how his cape that you still found irrevocably frivolous was slowly beginning to fan out around the both of you and mutely mirror the shimmer cascades of streaming light from the surface. Or how he still had your glasses gripped in his hand and pressing against your forearm while the ringed digit of his opposed hand still clung to your opposite arm.

Oh and how you were about five seconds from blacking out. Maybe that's why your thoughts were wondering so much. Or why for once, when he asked this of you for the thousandth time, you didn't get angry and start insulting everything. Didn't yell obscenities and watch the crestfallen expression cloud his features while his hands would tighten in provoked fists. Not that he lashed out at you and not that you lashed out at him.

And why you ignored the black dots swimming in your vision to quickly eliminate the last centimeters to his already parted lips. You felt the shallow tug of his bottom lip catching between yours while his nails dug into your arm but that didn't detour you from pushing on. And by that you meant exerting a force you didn't realize your oxygen deprived body could muster when you pressed your mouth back to his again and tried to deepen the kiss but prying his lips open. And pry you did.

Of course having him corporate wasn't a bad thing either. It didn't surprise you when you tongues met, clashing into each other seeming to create their own extraordinary melodies that your lips only danced to and followed in the sway of its twisting notes. You didn't think it would be so natural or harmonious for that matter. But it did and to your blatant astonishment you liked it if not loved it.

Even though he was still gripping your forearm you allowed your curious fingers to play with the hem of his sweater while still relishing the kiss. But your time was waning, you knew, and for but a moment you let your hand wonder to the fluttering gills on his side; right below his rib cage. Amphiibiian2 you indolently thought in exasperation while the slit skin fluttered under your curiously light touch.

Not that the fact that you were having slopping make outs was bad or anything however filling his current breathing methods only reminded you of your aspiring predicament.

Even if, to you, that sounded like the most wickedly crazy idea maybe ever and earlier you would have never even considered it. Of course you wouldn't have even considered letting yourself fall for one of his tricks like the one you had fallen right for now. Getting pushed off the seemingly harmless dock only to be followed by that stupid Aquarius into the awaiting water and then dragged down down down into the freezing depths. You didn't want to admit it but before the anger had settled in a cold terror had ensued all your movement when those cold digits had wrapped around your ankle and began stealing you to the dark depths. At least your thrashing had been enough to make him wrap an arm around your waist and crush you to his agile frame while his water treading grew alarmingly quick paced.

So why not do this? Both iidea2 are iin2ane anyway2. You reasoned even though what you were doing wasn't reasoning to begin with. It was attempting to give this crazed notion that was holding your thinkpan hostage the ransomed it required. So in other words; you were perfectly unprepared to make out with 'fii2hdiick' till you blackout and drowned in this stupid ocean. And that's just what you did.

"sol?" ED gasped when the grip you had acquired on his sweater loosened and the way you had been working to part his lips for a bit more interesting French kissing began to falter. But you couldn't really tell since your body was going limp and you were…slowly losing…consciousness …