A/N: It is officially exam week. So while I should be studying for my three finals(I exempted my first period exam!), I said screw it, and wrote this. So enjoy!
Albus sat in the back of the group, rolling his eyes. He couldn't believe this people. These names were perfectly normal.
When his dad had given him the assignment, the Head Auror laughed at the possibility of a type of group existing. "How could someone hate their name? Unless they don't know the meaning of it. That's why your mother and I named you after people we admired."
Secretly Al found he could identify with them. But that wasn't the point. He was supposed to be tailing a civilian.
It was rumored that she was the one who came up with the group because she hated her name. She was also a part of some cult that displayed a few magical abilities (like Legilemens, Occulumency, and Seeing) and used excessive body glitter. But there seemed to be no real head of the group.
He stayed for a little while longer, listening to some pudgy man whine about the name Joe ("it's so ordinary! Why couldn't they have given me a name with just a little more pazazz! Just a little!"), before he decided he couldn't take it anymore.
He left the room and strolled into the nearest bathroom. Locked the door and pulling his wand out of his pocket, he quickly cast a Patronus charm. "I don't see anyone that seems like who you want me to tail. I'll stay for ten more minutes I'm leaving and I'll look for her tomorrow."
He went to the sink and washed his hands in case anyone noticed he came out with completely dry hands from a paper towel-less bathroom. He had never met these people and would probably never see them again, but still.
He went back onto the room, ready to listen for a little while longer for the woman he was supposed to find, but instead bumped into a girl who looked only a bit over seventeen.
"Oh, I'm so sorry!" she squeaked. "I didn't notice you pull open the door, I just walked out!"
"It's okay," Albus said, chuckling. He picked up her heavy bag and handed it to her. "What do you have in there anyway? Your house?"
She smiled slightly and opened the door to the cool night air. "Something like that. "I'm Carlie by the way."
"Al."
"Yeah, I know." She laughed at the strange look he gave her. "Look, my aunt told me you were coming. That you were going to try to find out about my family's magical abilities and whatnot. But you don't have to; we want everything kept in the dark as much as you do."
'so there really is a seer in that glitter cult family', Albus thought. He nodded at her. "Well that was alot easier than my dad thought. Well I'll be going then."
Carlie giggled and began to back away from him slowly. "Okay then Al. Maybe I'll see you another time?"
He nodded again, smiling slightly. He turned away from her, ready to Disaperate, but then turned back to her quickly. She was already halfway to her car, but he jogged over to her. "Can I ask you a quick question?"
"Shoot."
"Why did you form a support group for abnormal names? Carlie seems perfectly normal. Except if it's spelled really different and no one can ever pronounce it the right way."
She laughed ruefully. "No, I was just blessed enough that she had enough to give me a normal middle name."
"Well then what's your name then?"
She blushed and looked away. "You're the magical law enforcement guy. Aren't you supposed to know?"
Al grinned. "It isn't on file. Come on, tell me. It can't be any worse than mine."
Carlie rolled her eyes. "Oh. So you must have a name that doesn't have enough snap, like Joe?"
Al snorted. "I wish. I almost smacked him for not wanting a name as normal as that. Trust me. Mine is probably worse than anything you could come up with."
"Okay." She looked around to make sure no one was around to hear them. "It's... Renesmee."
Albus stared at her.
And stared some more.
Then for just another moment.
Before he began to roar with laughter.
Renesmee put a hand to her hip and tapped her foot impatiently while she waited for him to get it all out of his system.
When the laughter began to subside, she crossed her arms, and stuck her nose into the air. "Well." she sniffed. "It's your turn. What's your name?"
"Oh Merlin! Where in the WORLD did your mother pull that one from?"
"It's a mix of my grandmother's names. Now stop laughing at me and tell me your name!"
"Sorry to disappoint but my name is actually normal. I just really wanted to know what your name is. Mine is Harry James Potter," Al lied, keeping his face clean of any mischievous expressions.
"You- But- You made- Lying Son of a-!"
"Hey!" Albus' eyes widened. "I was just kidding!" he laughed to himself at her red, spluttering face, contorted with rage. "That's my dad's name. It was a joke."
Renesmee rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Just tell me your name, please."
Suddenly self-conscious, Al gripped the hair on the back of his neck. "Do you promise not to laugh?"
"..."
"Well I guess I do deserve it if you laugh. Okay. MynameisAlbusSeverusPotter."
A slow smile stretched across Renesmee's face. "What's your name? I didn't catch that."
"You heard me," he snarled, face turning red with embarrassment.
"Nope." she stuck her finger in her ear and pulled it out again. "That's better. Now say it again?"
"I said Albus Severus Potter. And it's actually a very noble name, because both of the people I'm named after saved my father's life and watched over him. It's not just two names my mom ran together. So there." He crossed his arms in front of him and stuck his tongue out at her childishly.
That only made Renesmee giggle harder. "Albus Severus?" she snorted. "Did they want you to get beat up when you went to school?"
Albus allowed a small smile. "Yeah well at least my mom had the sense to separate the names, not ram them together and slap them on my birth certificate. I would have ended up with something like Albeverous or something."
"Hey." She punched him in the arm good-naturedly. "Don't blame her. She literally wasn't able to think straight and had no idea how to grasp the concept of sticking me with a name forever."
Albus could have pressed her for more information since that sound like something suspicious and related to that sparkle gang she was a part of, but instead he walked to the only car in the lot and opened the door for her.
"Well at least we actually belong in this bad name support group."
She smiled and nodded as she slid into the driver's seat. "We should get matching brackets or handkerchiefs with our names sewed into them."
He closed the grinned and made to shut the door but her hand darted out to stop him. "Wait, don't you need a ride home? Or are you parked up the street."
He grinned. "Magic, remember? It was nice getting to know you, Renesmee."
She nodded back with a smile and shut the door.
One week later, Renesmee rolled around on the floor, trying to avoid Jake's large hands.
He sat on her stomach, and pinned her hands above her head. "Truce," he growled playfully, before bumping her nose with his.
She nodded, still giggling. "Fine, truce. But only because your friend over there has been staring at us for the last twenty minutes."
Jacob turned to look at the bird curiously and slowly shook his head. "That's nothing I've ever had to deal with. It looks like a trained owl."
Renesmee slid from under him and made her way to the bird, slowly so she wouldn't scare it off. Then she noticed the small box attached to it and grinned.
She slid the box off of it's leg and handed the card to Jake. He tore it open to see who it was from, but Renesmee already had an idea of who it was from.
Jacobs voice confirmed it with a confused, "What kind person names their kid Albus Severus?" While she tore the box out of the paper and lifted the lid.
"At least it wasn't Albeverous," she whispered while running a finger over the engraving.
The Real Members Of The Horrid Name Support Group
A/N: Yay! Friendship and love and all that jazz! Review please! Oh and did I spell the magical abilities the cullens are able to do correctly? I wasn't all that sure.
~Love, Crazy~
