The Diary of John Dorian

By: KKM


Summary:

Shortly after his son is born, JD is involved in a head on collision and is put on life support. Stubborn as always, Dr. Cox is the only one of his "friends" who refuses to visit. But after coming across the young doctor's diary, his views start to change. Rated T.

This story is told in Dr. Cox's POV.


'Celebrations are supposed to be a time of joy. It's when a group of morons get together for the single purpose of getting piss-faced drunk and making fools of each other with congratulations to whatever the insignificant cause may be. Every celebration almost always ends with someone getting hurt. However, I'd like to think that if I'd known what I do now that I may have been able to stop this one. We all wished that…'


Chapter 1:

The world is coming to an end; I can feel it. Newbie has somehow managed to prove to the world that he's not as much of a whiny little girl as everyone thought. Don't mistake my thoughts as being impressed - the truth is far from it. Impressed would be if he suddenly came to me and said that the last seven years had been a joke and he was really a millionaire and could be a bigger prick than me. Shocked would be a more applicable term for this situation.

Prepare yourself:

Newbie has procreated.

That's right ladies and gentleman, Sally really does have a dick somewhere under all of that estrogen. I did nawt see that coming and for the life of me I can't even imagine the kid being remotely fatherly to another creature let alone an actual human being. After all, he still tails me wherever I go like a lost puppy.

I can't say that I didn't see it coming though. It's no secret that the kid has had numerous different partners over the past seven years I've known him. Knocking one up was bound to happen sooner than later even though I'm sure most of us thought an STD would have been the more likely outcome. The real kicker in this whole ordeal is that the little dumbass had only known the girl for about two days when it happened. They hadn't even became a couple yet!

Idiot.

And now, nine months later a baby boy had been introduced to the world. No doubt there are definitely better options for parents, but a drama-bomb for a father and an emotionless succubus for a mother is what he ended up with. I don't suppose my children are any luckier, but in my defense at least Jordan and I have known and been together for a long time. Kim's not even here for the celebration. I wonder what they even named the little tatter-tot? Samantha, was it? Fitting.

I looked over from across the bar as he and his little groupies laughed and ordered more rounds of beer for everyone. Now that the little shit had been born, all of Newbie's close friends had caroused here to the bar we doctors nearly always visited after our long tedious shifts. It seemed a fitting place to go for the occasion. I still don't know how I was dragged into joining them. At least I didn't have to endure their cheery crap alone.

While JD and his group of friends mingled at their table, I sat at the bar with my usual drinking buddy the Janitor. We'd bumped into each other here a few years back and found that we had a certain mutual love to torment a certain someone and every since then each time we happen across one another after our shifts we've always enjoyed each other's company along with a nice, strong drink. Sometimes we'd talk about what was new in the hospital, maybe a trophy winning moment where we'd gotten the best of JD, or sometimes we didn't even need to talk preferring silence over meaningless words. Either way, it made the place much more tolerable. Plus as an added bonus, he never whined about stupid shit.

JD was trying to catch my eye from where he was seated with his friends and gave me a big smile accompanied by a wave when he'd thought for sure he'd caught my eye. I didn't bother to acknowledge him, let alone he start squealing like a teenage girl in public. Instead I rolled my eyes with a smirk and returned my attention to the barkeep. As I did, I took a certain satisfaction in not missing the slightly deflated look on his face that followed. Damn, he was easy to get to. I mean, what was he expecting? A warm 'great job' look for getting a hole in one? I was here, wasn't I?

"Heh, you love doing that, don't you?" the Janitor asked with an amused smirk as he swirled the amber liquid of his shot glass. I just gave him an incredulous look.

"Don't you?" I chuckled and downed my shot without so much as a twitch. Ahhh, now that takes talent! " Keeps him from getting too cocky about outgrowing her training bra," I said with a smirk of my own. The Janitor gave a hearty laugh in response and tipped his glass to me before downing the contents and shaking his head a bit from the aftermath. Grabbing another shot of my own, I followed suit and gave a pleased sigh as the cool liquid burned my insides pleasantly making it tingle with a warmth that only alcohol could form.

"Ah, it seems that their bringing the party to us," my friend warned as he glanced back over his shoulder. I looked too, confirming his words much to my displeasure. "Blonde Doctor," he greeted with a smile, ignoring the rest. It wasn't a secret to anyone but her apparently that the Janitor had the hots for Barbie. How she didn't see it was be-yond me. I watched as she gave him a friendly smile when they approached and returned my gaze back to my drink with a look of mild disgust.

My short break from insanity came to an end as Carla made it to us first, closely followed by Gandhi, Barbie, and of course Newbie himself. I secretly took great pleasure in the jealous look her husband shot me as she drunkenly leaned onto my shoulders from behind in an overly friendly manner that was only possible due to her alcohol consumption. Newbie took the seat beside me as expected while Barbie and Gandhi were left to stand over us awkwardly. I was boxed in at all sides. Damn it all.

"Come on, Perry," Carla was saying in a tipsy voice as she raised her beer high into the air; her Dominican accent becoming more distinct after each gulp. "Surely you have something to say. You can't be JD's mentor for seven years and not have anything to say!"

I mentally and most likely outwardly cringed at the word 'mentor.' It made me sound like I had a soft spot for the little twerp - which I most certainly did nawt. I looked over at the fool in question. His cheeks were red from too much liquor and he was giving me a shy smile as he looked up at me expectantly. I bet that little shit was enjoying my every moment of discomfort. He knew I hated sappy shit like this. He'd probably been dreaming of this moment all night hoping I'd give him some girly-ass speech about how proud of him I am. Yup. There's that stupid far away look of his again. So predictable. Might as well crush those hopes while they're fresh.

"Alright," I said finally as I motioned for what was probably my sixth shot from the bartender. Then I held it up as a toast toward Newbie. "To Sally! Who knew that you actually had a pair down there? Enjoy the next eighteen years of diapers, screaming, and temper tantrums," I grinned. No matter how appalled his friends were by that short little speech, I knew he enjoyed it. He always came back for more. But after Carla smacked me upside the head, I kindly decided to elaborate. Finding my lips betraying my mind, I added in a more serious tone, "what I mean is, if you pay half as much attention to your kids as you do your patients, I'm sure they'll make it past the first year alive. Good luck, kid." I finished lamely before finally getting to down my raised shot.

To the average person, that may have sounded like yet another one of my famous insults, but they all knew that was the best they were going to get. Normally I wouldn't have even given so much as a 'fuck you' in return.

"Thanks, Perry," JD laughed, and I could tell he meant it. Then he took a sip of one of his green gay-tinis. I swear, the kid just begs to get picked on. He just makes it so darn easy.

Trying to avoid anymore awkward moments, I looked to my left hoping to strike a conversation with the only other person around who's brain wasn't the size of a pea. But to my dismay, the Janitor who had been seated beside me not even two minutes ago had vanished only to be replaced by Barbie who had all but jumped at the occasion to take an empty seat. I bet he did that on purpose, I thought as she tried to talk my ear off about what ever new beau disaster she was on - smug bastard.

I rubbed my nose in irritation and crossed my arms as she gave up and started talking to Larry and Mo instead. Escaping my bar stool undetected was impossible at this point. I was right in the middle of the chaos. The only one who for once wasn't talking seemed to be Newbie as he sipped away at his drink with a small smile, his eyes flickering back and fourth between each of us. Eventually, his brown, child-like eyes focused totally on me and to my horror I realized that I was about to be forced into more awkward conversation. And Newbie looked like he very much wanted to talk to me now that the others seemed to be distracted with their own faster than the speed of light chit-chat.

That's when Sally's phone rang. Maybe there was a God, I mentally deduced as he broke eye contact with me and fished for his handheld. However when he looked at the screen, I couldn't help but notice the sudden change in the young Doctor's mood as the smile seemed to melt off of his face. I caught a good look at the screen right before he answered. Kim. Now why should seeing the name of his newborn's mother affect him like that? That can't be good.

"Do we have to do this right now?" he frantically whispered into the receiver, trying not to gain too much attention from his preoccupied friends that surrounded us. He locked eyes with me again and looked slightly alarmed that I might say something to the others. I merely shrugged and returned to pretending he didn't exist as I ordered another shot of whiskey. This time he was safe from me making his life a living hell. But only this one time. "Please don't yell…" he whispered almost dejectedly, as if there was a hint of guilt in his voice. "It's not like that! I-" he cut himself off and covered his cell phone, realizing he'd just yelled rather loudly. We were all staring at him curiously now. In the silence we could all hear the shouting from the other end of the line.

"You okay, Bambi?" Carla asked, suddenly sounding very much sober. She reminded me of a mother about to console her child.

JD turned pale as he kept his hand over the receiver and muttered, "I'm fine. I'll be right back." Then we all watched as he left his bar stool without so much as his appletini in hand. As he left, we watched closely as he returned the phone to his ear and continued to argue with whoever was on the other end until he was out of sight.

"That didn't sound good," Gandhi said, pointing out the obvious with furrowed brows. I suppose at that point I could have told them the small piece of the puzzle I'd seen. But when you really get down to it, it just wasn't any of their business.

"Hm, he'll come to us if it's important," Carla said wisely, always the voice of reason between morons. "C'mon, Turk. Lets go pay off our tab. Party's over." Before she left, she added, "By the way, Elliot, you have barbecue sauce on your new shirt." Then she lead her husband away as if he was attached to an invisible leash.

"FRICK!" Barbie shouted before running off to the bathroom like an adolescent girl who'd just broken a nail.

And just like that, I was finally alone. I could now have some peace and quiet. I took a swig from my new bottle of beer and leaned comfortably against the counter as I enjoyed the silence. As I sat there, I couldn't help but ponder about how Kim had the power to constantly make Newbie's life miserable. I've pissed in that kid's cheerios for seven long years and he still treats me like the Messiah. She almost deserved an award. Almost.

In all honesty, I don't like Kim that much. I can admit that she's a descent urologist but other than that she seems like a pretty crappy person- and trust me, I know crappy. Don't get me wrong, if I was in her shoes I sure as hell wouldn't want Newbie as the father of my child either. But I certainly wouldn't lie and say that I had a miscarriage either. I think I have the most right other than Newbie to pass judgment on this considering I've been in a similar situation. I mean, my first few months back together with Jordan she'd lied to me and told me Jack wasn't mine. But the little ice queen wasn't cruel enough to pull what Kim had. Even though I can see that Newbie is trying to be the bigger person here, I can't honestly say I'd have reacted the same way. If it had been my kid I'd have dumped her ass on the curb and taken that kid into my custody before she could utter a single lifeless apology. But that's just me.

About ten minutes later, my silent pondering came to an end as Newbie returned from God knows where red-faced and obviously upset. His eyes looked glossy and irritated as if he'd just been crying. Great. If there is one thing to know about me, it's that cheering people up is nawt my forte.

"What's wrong, Jasmine? Has Aladdin called to cancel your magic carpet ride?" I tried baiting him, never missing a single beat. I was surprised when he didn't get his panties in a twist like he normally did. Instead, he turned to me with a half-hearted glare.

"Not tonight," he said before dropping my gaze with a sigh. "Where are the others?" he asked, not really bothering to look around for them. He held a tired look on his face as he toyed with his half full martini glass and waited for my answer.

"Urkel and Laura over there, went to pay off their tabs and Barbie had an accident," I said evenly as I watched for a reaction. I honestly expected him to jump up and go to them like he normally would have, but tonight Newbie was full of surprises. He simply sat there.

"Oh…" he trailed off quietly before looking up again. It was slightly unnerving how he was looking at me. It was like he was trying to decide on if he should tell me what the hell was going on or not. In the end, he chose the latter. "Just tell them something came up," he said quickly, then like a bat out of hell he grabbed his rain jacket and made a move to get up.

My eyebrows raised at this. Something was most definitely wrong with this scenario, but I wasn't going to ask. That just wasn't my style. "Ooooo-kay…" I said, watching him fumble with the zipper. It was dark and raining outside and I knew he'd taken that stupid scooter of his to get here. Against my better judgment I spoke again, "Newbie, you've had four of those green, girly things you call drinks. You sure you're okay to drive? You're clumsy enough on a sober day." Hey, in my defense I'm still a doctor. It's not like I care or anything.

"I called a cab," he said, muttering again whilst not meeting my gaze. I didn't believe him for a long-shot. I've known him far too long for him to think he can get away with BSing me. He seemed to realize that and looked up with a small smile, "I just need to think." I felt a strong want to protest and tell him to stop being a whiny little bitch, but he was a big boy and could make his own decisions no matter how unnecessarily dangerous they could be.

"Fine," was all I said as I turned back to my beer with a frown. Even though I was no longer looking at him, I could still feel his presence as he stood there in a moment of uncertainty as if contemplating again. Then I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up.

"Thanks for coming tonight. I know you didn't want to," he said, looking slightly less bothered by his other problems.

"No problem, Newbie," was all I said in response.

Then he was gone.

Later that night as I lay in bed next to Jordan, I couldn't help the nagging feeling that was on the sub terrain of my conscious. Something was keeping me awake. Something didn't feel right.

My hospital pager went off beside my bed and I heard Jordan let out a cranky groan as she rolled over to face me. "Din' they know you're not 'n call tonigh'?" she slurred in a sleepy tone as I reached for the annoying device.

I never answered her, I only stared at the message Carla had just sent me. I felt Jordan lean over to read it too, letting out a gasp.

-BAMBI IS IN THE ICU-

Fuck.


A/N: So this story has quite a few firsts for me. Number one is that I like neeeever write in first person, but I wanted to try it out. And number two is that I've never written a Scrubs fic before lol. Actually I just recently finished rewatching all of the seasons and inspiration hit! I honestly don't know if this will be a friendship fic or a slash fic later on maybe? I can make it work either way, it just depends on how I feel while I'm writing it. I do love writing about angsty romance though - just a forewarning! ;P

Let me know how I did!