Title: Couldn't
author: Cindy Ryan
spoilers: all
category: episode tag post 1x8

"I need you to stop taking care of me."

Michaela's words haunted Jared. He felt as if she'd physically slapped him. He stood there for long minutes after she'd disappeared into the crowd of first responders and techs working the tavern crime scene. Those words above anything else his ex had said rocked him. Jared watched numbly as the investigation continued around him. As he stood there a memory surfaced. One so painful he hadn't thought of that day in years. As the memory took hold Jared could still hear the tears in Grace Stone's voice. She'd called just as he was leaving for work. Four days after flight 828 had vanished.


"Jared, it's Grace Stone are you driving?"

Jared looked at the keys in his right hand and the light weight black jacket tucked into the crook of his left arm.

"No was just leaving for work."Jared replied quietly."What happened, Grace?Did they...did they find..."

Jared broke off not able to say their worst fear out loud. That the searchers had found what was left of the plane that had been flight 828.

"I-I wanted to talk to you in person but I can't leave Olive right now..."Grace replied softly.

Jared felt his knees buckle and he barely made it to a nearby recliner.

"Grace..."Jared prompted .

"It hasn't been released to the media yet but they've called it off."Grace explained as her voice desolated into tears."They've given up. They're not looking for the plane. Oh God, Jared they're gone...we've lost them...Ben, Cal and M-michaela...they're gone..."

"I have to go."Jared ended the call before his own voice betrayed him.

The cell phone slipped from his hand and hit the blue area rug. The car keys were still in his right hand. Suddenly there was a loud crash as something hit the apartment's patio door. Jared looked down and saw his right hand was empty. He had no memory of throwing the keys. Grace's words broke into Jared's dazed thoughts.

'We've lost them...'

Michaela Stone the woman he loved and had only a week ago proposed to was dead. He'd never hold her, never see her smile...

"Michaela."Jared whispered brokenly.

Then the shock wore off and the grief he'd held at bay for days hit full force.


"Sir, we need your signature."

A young female voice jerked Jared back to the present. He looked at a red haired crime scene tech. She was holding a computer tablet in front of him.

"Sorry."Jared apologized as he cleared his throat."You guys done here?"

"Yes the ME's putting the body in the van,"The hound woman replied with a nod.

"Good."Jared acknowledged.

He quickly signed the electronic paperwork and headed to his car. The memory had shaken him. Stirring up emotions already high. Getting into the car Jared closed the door and rested his head on the steering wheel. He took several steadying breaths but it didn't help.

'I need you stop taking care of me."

Michaela was asking the impossible. How was he supposed to stop caring about her? After five long years of grief, memories and what if's he had her back. Something that shouldn't be possible but was.

"You wouldn't be scared for your life right now."

Michaela had that wrong. He wasn't scared for himself he was scared to death for her. Crazy things kept happening. Before they could catch their breath and regroup things intensified.

It was clear his partner needed time to heal and try to cope with the missing years. All Jared wanted to do was protect Michaela and give her that chance. He wanted to keep the wolves from the door. She was pushing him away. Trying to protect him from whatever mess was coming. Michaela was too much a part of him for Jared to do what she wanted. He couldn't stop caring for her or about her. Jared wasn't going to let Michaela Stone vanish from his life again.

End