Half The World Away
I would like to leave this city, this old town don't smell too pretty
The knock on the door and the call that followed through the worn wood was meant to rouse her, but Caden had been awake since a little past dawn. She was sat cross-legged on her bed, viewing her meagre possessions one after the other.
"I'm up, Shianni," she called. "I'll be out soon." She heard her cousin move off, satisfied that her first task as bridesmaid was complete. The blushing bride was up and getting ready. Caden made no move to that effect; she wanted to go over her things one more time. Today she would leave her childhood behind and become an adult. She needed to see what could make that transition with her and what would need leaving behind.
Her most prized possessions were the first items laid out before her on the bed. Her mother's supple leather boots, by far the fanciest item of clothing she owned, as well as being the most practical. With these boots, decorated with patterns of leaves and swirls, evoking an autumn breeze as it stirred through the trees, Caden could move so quietly that she wagered she could creep up on any animal. She had practised her stealthy hunting ever since she had grown into the footwear on the rats that made their homes alongside the elves in the Alienage and had almost caught one once. She would be hard pressed to leave them anywhere, so she picked them up and straightened her legs, sliding her feet into the boots. There. That was better. Caden smiled to herself as she reached for her other family heirloom and turned it over in her hands. The crack in the roof at the foot of her bed let the morning sunlight spear the room and Caden winced as the light bounced from the knife in her hands into her eye. She laughed in spite of herself and blinked; this knife was her mother's second favoured item, one that her father liked to pretend didn't exist. As Caden sheathed the weapon in the special hidden casing inside the lining of her left boot, she remembered the first time Adaia had handed her the weapon, how large the knife had felt in her small hands.
Those were the most important things that Caden owned, though she still had a few more possessions. There was a small pile of letters bound in a scrap of ribbon, her record of the correspondence she had enjoyed with her husband-to-be. He would be arriving that day and she would look upon him for the first time, hear his voice, see his face. But at least with the few letters- couriers being an expensive luxury for the badly paid elves of Denerim- she at least felt like she knew Nelaros of Highever better than a stranger. It was more than many of her peers got; her cousin Soris had married a woman from another Alienage having never met her before the ceremony. It had worked out for him, but others did not always fare so well. Thea, a woman only a few years older than Caden, had been matched with a man she obviously despised and was not afraid to unleash her ire on anyone she felt like blaming for her circumstances. Caden had had an altercation with her only the previous day, where Thea had scorned that Caden was privileged thanks to her father's savings, that he had managed to score Caden a good match with a decent sort. Of course, how Thea would have any idea how much money Caden's father Cyrion had spent on her dowry or how she would know whether Nelaros was a good guy, given that she had no insight into the family funds or Caden's betrothed wasn't worth wondering about. The woman was bitter and that had turned her cruel.
Caden's mother had always instilled in her the importance of marrying a person for love, or as near as could be achieved, which was why Adaia had taught Caden to read and write when others had missed that lesson. Adaia had been Caden's teacher in many ways, enabling Caden to write to her betrothed and, she thought of the knife in her boot, how to defend herself if ever her trust in men proved to be a mistake. Adaia and Cyrion had been lucky to grow up together, to know one another and fall in love before getting married two decades ago. They were Caden's guiding light to love and friendship, and they had had thirteen years together before sickness had struck the household. Caden still remembered how frightening it had been to feel so weak and helpless, how her even sicker mother had held her. She also remembered slipping into blackness for several days, only to find when the fever finally broke that Adaia had passed away.
Her final belongings were the three books she owned, slim dog-eared items, bound in shabby leather, these were books that humans had thrown out. They comprised the majority of her lessons in words, and each one had her shaky, early handwriting inside each cover, spelling out Caden Tabris. They were hers, all of these things were hers, and she couldn't bear the thought of leaving them behind. She gathered up the letters and the books and slipped them under her pillow. She would keep the boots and the hidden knife with her, but the rest could be collected later when she and Nelaros were presented with a room in the marriage house. They would get a bigger place to live when she became pregnant, fulfilling her first duty as a new wife. Caden's insides constricted at that thought. She was not yet twenty years old and still felt very unprepared for impending motherhood, in spite of being on the cusp of adulthood. It was a strange feeling to be considered still a child at this moment and to know that within a few hours she would be a married grown woman and all that came with that new position. Caden let out a shaky breath. She might have been approaching this milestone of growing up, but she wanted her mother in that moment.
Another knock came to the door to announce that the gathering from Highever had arrived, including her fiancé. Caden blanched. "I'm coming, Shianni." She shook her head and pushed outside.
Her redheaded cousin was beaming in the sunshine and Caden couldn't help but smile to see her. A year her junior, Shianni was desperate to get married and openly jealous of Caden's nuptials, although she was never unkind with it like Thea. Shianni slipped her hand through Caden's arm and tugged her close. "Todays the day!"
"I know," Caden said evenly, ignoring the butterflies in her belly that were making their presence known in earnest now. "I suppose I had better go and greet my... greet Nelaros."
The two girls, one giggling, one reserved, headed for the Alienage gates where a crowd of elves had formed. It had been a while since there had been a wedding in Denerim for the elves and they were all curious to see the new arrivals. Nelaros had travelled with a small party of older elves, the intention being to safeguard his journey and to prompt some discussions with the elders of the town to broker some more matches. Shianni was scanning the faces for an unknown young man, but her eyes kept straying to the elders, hoping they would spy her and wish to make enquiries as to her suitability. Caden kept a firm grip on her friends arm until someone tapped her on the shoulder and she turned, already knowing who she would see. She didn't recognise him, of course, that would have been impossible, but she knew who he was. "Nelaros." She said, warmth on her tongue in spite of her nerves.
Nelaros was handsome; slender and tall for an elf. They had similar colouring, though his eyes were green to her blue and his yellow hair was paler than hers. Her mind leapt to children again, how clearly she could see their offspring with their similar appearances, though she pushed those thoughts away.
Nelaros smiled, brightening his travel worn face. He reached out his hands and took hers - Shianni tactfully moving away from her cousin and leaving her open to Nelaros' reach - clasping both of his over hers. "It is so good to finally meet you, Caden." In a bold move, he lifted her hands and pressed his lips to the back of her hand. Caden felt his breath on the silver scar that scoured her knuckles and momentarily felt embarrassed by it. He didn't seem to notice.
"Well met, Nelaros," Caden managed after a moment pause. "But how did you know it was me?"
Nelaros grinned and nodded towards Cyrion who was standing with the hahren Valendrian, watching the two. "Your father pointed you out for me. I am glad to finally look upon your face. I have looked forward to this moment for so long."
Caden nodded and a few moments elapsed before she realised it was probably expected that she should return the sentiments. "I've enjoyed your letters." She said grasping for something to say. "I'll miss them now you're here." Inwardly she cringed. What a way to make someone feel welcome, by bemoaning a future without long range correspondence.
Nelaros, to his credit, laughed. Her hand was still lying between his, and was starting to feel quite hot. "I have enjoyed yours as well, though I look forward to learning more about you after our wedding."
Caden thought of the knife in her boot and of her father's words the night before, how he had warned her to keep the part of her that knew how to fight away from her husband. She tucked the foot that hid the knife behind the other. "Mm-hmm."
As if they sensed a potentially awkward silence descending on the couple, Cyrion and hahren Valendrian appeared beside them.
"What a fine pairing you make, Caden, Nelaros." Cyrion said, wrapping an arm around his daughters' shoulders. Caden's hand slid from between Nelaros' and she leaned into her father's embrace. It was rare for her to feel as though she were making her father proud. Too often in her youth had she given him reason to sigh and look upon her with disappointment. Too much scrapping, too many fights. Despite her reservations for the day, it was nice to bask in the glow of Cyrions approval for once.
"I am honoured," Nelaros said with a bow to Cyrion and another to Valendrian, he having been instrumental in signing off on the match before the wedding could go ahead. "Andraste has blessed me greatly."
"I felt the same when my daughter was born," Cyrion said. "See that you protect her."
"Father..." Caden protested weakly, but he shot her a look to drop any assurances of how she could look after herself before she could begin. She clamped her mouth shut. If it would make her father happy to have her pretend that she wasn't skilled in the fighting arts then so be it. Nelaros could learn that later, when they were wed.
The men continued to talk and Cyrion released Caden after a short while. She listened with only half an ear to the conversation around her. Her gaze drifted over the dais where the wedding ceremony would take place and her stomach swooped unpleasantly. Keen to avoid the thought of her wedding and the complicated feelings that evoked, she looked away, her eyes alighting on a human man who was speaking with another elder. She gripped her father's arm to get his attention. "There is a human here."
Cyrion followed her gaze and nodded, as Valendrian chuckled. "Don't fret, child." He said in his usual calm manner. "Duncan is an old friend."
Caden's eyes narrowed. "There are friends and there are humans. There are no human friends."
Cyrion huffed, crossly. "Caden, mind yourself."
Valendrian didn't look perturbed and caught Duncan's attention as his conversation came to a close; the tall bearded man made his way towards them. "Duncan is a Grey Warden, young Caden."
Her eyes widened at once as the man drew closer. She knew of the Grey Wardens through her mother's stories and the idea of one being in the Alienage ignited an interest in her that had been missing so far that morning. The man called Duncan reached the small group and Caden watched as the human offered his hand to her hahren of many years for him to shake. It seemed so strange to watch this friendly exchange; her entire experience of humans interacting with elves was one of disinterest at best, cruelty at worst.
Cyrion turned to Caden. "My dear, why don't you go and get ready. We shouldn't delay the service." Caden glanced at the Grey Warden who was speaking quietly with Valendrian and then nodded to her father.
"Of course." She threw a small smile to Nelaros. "See you soon, I guess."
Shianni sat behind Caden and gathered her golden hair up to fix it into a neat bun. "I'm so excited, are you excited?" Caden made a small, non-committal noise, but Shianni didn't seem to notice the fact that the bride's enthusiasm didn't quite match her own. "Nelaros looks so handsome. Did he ever tell you he was handsome in his letters? I guess not; who writes about themselves that way?"
"Why do you think the Grey Wardens here?" Caden asked Shianni worked on her hair.
"Who?" Shianni sounded confused. "Oh, that human man? I didn't know he was one."
"Do you think he's just visiting Valendrian?" Caden wondered. "They seem to be friends."
"Who knows." Shianni said, breezily. "Not like it matters to you. Your whole life is going to change really soon." Caden felt Shianni lean forwards and hug her from behind, mindful of the hair she had just fixed in place. "Can you believe it?"
"I... I really can't." Caden stood and went to her bed as Shianni set her own hair into a plait. She brushed down the sheet, taking an inordinate amount of time to smooth an already made bed, before finally standing and reaching for the dress on the trunk at the foot of her bed. With shaking fingers, she pulled off her casual clothes and stepped into the white shift. As wedding dresses went it was both plain and exquisite, certainly for the Alienage. It was Adaias gown from her wedding to Cyrion, carefully kept all these years. Caden felt a weight of expectation in the dress, despite its light cotton and lace material. Shianni gave a squeal of joy and then Caden felt her start to pull the ribbons together at the back, tightening the gown over her waist. Caden looked down at her naked ring finger, imagining a band of gold adorning it. She glanced at her other hand, feeling the shape of the knife in her boot and picturing it in her palm.
Shianni tied the laces into a knot and sighed happily. "It's time."
The groom stood tall and proud. Cyrion looked on with delight beaming from his face. Shianni was sniffing as she stood near Caden. The Chantry sister who was performing the ceremony was talking about the Light of Andraste. Caden hardly heard it. Barely saw the faces watching. Nelaros said something softly, but she heard him as though he were speaking under water. The edges of everything were blurring. And then a flash of colour. Caden turned, her gaze immediately locking onto the group of humans who had noticed the commotion and were descending upon the wedding party. Her eyes narrowed and she stepped forward. She knew this shem. She heard Shiannis sharp intake of breath; they both knew this man and Caden quickly put herself in front of her cousin, who had always had the eye of this shem.
"What's this? A party?" the man brayed as he drew closer, an unpleasant sneer across his face. Caden bristled, but kept quiet. The Chantry sister faltered, mid-sentence, turning to him in alarm. "I can't believe I wasn't invited; you all know how much I love a good knife-ear party."
"My lord!" the sister gasped, incensed at his racist remark. She obviously didn't know him well, Caden thought to herself.
Vaughan Kendells reached the dais and climbed atop. Caden reached behind her, manoeuvring Shianni so that she was between Vaughan and her cousin. "Wait a moment," Vaughan said, putting two and two together as he glanced from Caden in her gown and back to Nelaros, who was looking confused, but not afraid. "Is this a wedding?"
"It is, my lord," the sister replied. "If you wouldn't mind, we would like to continue."
"Oh please, it's not like this means anything," Vaughan scoffed as his cronies down in the crowd chortled. "It's like children playing with dolls." He stepped closer to Caden, who held her ground in spite of the jolt of fear at his proximity. "It's like dressing up two pigs for a funny Satinalia prank. Everyone has a good laugh, but at the end of the day, it's still just a pig in a dress."
Caden gritted her teeth. The dig at her rolled off her skin, but mentioning the dress, her mothers dress, ignited a fire in her belly. "Thank you for your opinion, my lord," her voice dripped disdain as she stressed his title. "But the only pig here is dressed in House Kendells colours."
Any humour Vaughan was getting from the situation drained from his face, to be replaced by outright disgust. "Watch yourself, knife-ear," he started, but then spied the elf cowering behind Caden. "Who's this? Ah, my favourite!"
Caden pushed Shianni and moved to block Vaughan who was trying to get closer to Shianni. "You will not touch her."
Vaughan laughed again at this, finding Caden's protection of her cousin to be the utmost in hilarity. "How sweet. You actually think you have a choice."
Caden didn't think; her hand was in a fist and that fist was connecting with Vaughan's chin before she could even blink. A dangerous hush fell over the assembled. Even the Chantry sister looked afraid.
"Caden, no," Cyrions cry came too late and he was swiftly silenced by one of the men Vaughan had brought, who dove his own fist into Caden's fathers' stomach. He dropped to the floor in a ball, winded.
"Father!" Caden jerked where she stood, torn between barricading Shianni and going to her father. The man added a kick to Cyrion for good measure. "Stop it!"
Vaughan whirled on her. "What will you give me in return if I call off my men?" He nodded to the man, who planted his boot over Cyrions face and slowly pressed down. Cyrion couldn't even cry out. Caden looked back at Vaughan who was signally to the other men to start roughing up the other elves. Those who could fled home, but within moments the floor was littered with bleeding elves. Caden felt ice cold fear shoot through her veins.
"Stop it." She said again, her voice mirrored by the exclamation of her betrothed. Nelaros jumped down from the dais and went to Caden's father, trying to get between the man and Cyrion.
Vaughan reached over and touched his fingers to Caden's chin, tilting her head up high as he looked down at her. "Very well. If you come with me now." He didn't wait for her response; Caden felt him release her chin and felt a moments relief at that before his rock-hard fist crashed into her skull and the world pitched upside down and into darkness.
