While sorting through his supply pack Eren finds a small, foil wrapped... thing. He curiously opens it up, and unrolls the condom.
"Hey Armin, did you also get one of these water balloons?"
"yup! I actually think they are used as a source of oxygen or a canteen."
"Ya think this would work as a shower cap?" Eren asked, putting it on his head.
Levi walked past, and choked on his tea. "What the fuck are you two doing?!" "Oh, just testing out these things.", Eren said while casually pulling the condom off his head.
"WERE YOU TWO NOT EDUCATED IN SEXUAL ACTIVITIES?!" "Whazzat? New way to kill titans?"
Erwin walked past and saw Eren with a condom in his hand and Armin trying to blow it up, with Levi infuriatingly mad.
"Problem, Levi?"
"These two were not educated in sexual activities." "You know, not only us. Pretty much everyone skipped that certain lesson because we heard it was going to be really bad."
Erwin, with a trace of a smile, told Levi to get Keith and educate them tomorrow.
Levi told them not to have any sexual intercourse with any girls.
.
.
.
Lunchtime
Mikasa greeted Eren and Armin, and Eren responded with a panicked "get away from me, get away from me!"
"What's wrong Eren?" "Levi told us not to have any umm what was it Armin?" "sexual intercourse" "oh yeah that with girls!"
After lunch Eren and Armin consulted with Erwin. Eren asked "At lunch, Mikasa touched me. Does that count as having sex?"
"... Well, it depends on where she touched you."
"She touched me in the lunchroom."
"he means arm."
"Oh, no then. Keith is starting his lesson in a few minutes, so go to that cabin, ok?"
"kay"
.
.
.
"LESSON TIME YOU MAGGOTS!"
Keith pulled down a chart of a male genitalia, and showed everyone its functions.
"NOW IT'S TEST TIME! MIKASA ACKERMAN, COME TO THE FRONT OF THE ROOM!"
OH CRAP OH CRAP OH CRAP DO NOT POP A BONER DO NOT POP A BONER
THINK ABOUT THE TIME WHEN DAD TRIED TO TEACH YOU ABOUT THE BIRDS AND THE BEES WITHOUT PENIS OR VAGINA
CRAP IM DONE
As she walked to the front of the room, Eren started to have a visible boner, so he covered it up with a heavy book.
"WHY, MAY I ASK, IS THERE A BOOK ON YOUR CROTCH JAEGER?"
Somewhere, from the back of the room, a voice shouted "HE HAS A BONER!"
Well, this, as you can imagine, caused Eren to blush a rich tomato red.
"Ah, I see. Well, why don't you come up here and show us what a boner looks like. Inside of your pants. No fucktime today Jaeger."
"s-sir, I'd rather not."
With this Shardis gave a noticable sigh and said "ok summary of sex is this: you put the penis into the vagina, or this hole, and wear that thing in your hands, yes you Jean, on your penis to prevent pregnancy which is this..."
And so, Eren learned to be a man.
