Chapter One
Amy Pond looked at the plastic bowler hat with
a Union Jack pattern. 'You're not really going to
wear that, are you?' she asked the Doctor.
The Doctor smiled and raised the hat
politely. 'Yes. It's cool. So is my T-shirt.'
He was wearing a white T-shirt with the
slogan My companion went to London and
all I got was this lousy T-shirt.
Amy rolled her eyes. 'I can't believe you got
them to print that for you!'
'At least he didn't buy the T-shirt that said I'm
with stupid!,' said Amy's husband, Rory. 'I
know he would have made me walk next to him
while he was wearing it.'
'Of course I wouldn't,' said the Doctor. 'I
don't think you're stupid at all. Now, come
on, stupid, we're missing the tour!'
The three friends were on the upper deck of
an open-top red London bus. The sun was
beating down, but the Doctor still wore a
tweed jacket over his T-shirt. He was sitting
at the front next to the tour guide. Amy and
Rory sat on the seat behind them.
The tour guide, whose name was Janet, was
trying to talk about London landmarks. The
Doctor was joining in, but his efforts just
seemed to get on Janet's nerves.
'On your left you can see the Tower of
London,' Janet began. 'Building started in the
year 1066.'
'I've been locked up in there five or six
times,' said the Doctor. He pointed towards the
castle. 'If you squint, you can see my room. It's
that window there.'
Janet's microphone picked up the Doctor's
words. The other tourists laughed, but Janet
ignored him.
'There's also a top secret base below the
tower,' said the Doctor.
Amy tapped him on the shoulder before he
could say any more. 'If it's top secret, perhaps
you shouldn't mention it,' she said.
The Doctor nodded. 'Good point.' He mimed
pulling a zip across his mouth.
He kept quiet until they'd crossed the river
and were passing the Globe theatre. 'That's
where I fought some witch monsters,' he said.
'In the old theatre, I mean, not this new one.
The old one was just a little bit to the left. Of
course, Shakespeare helped me fight the
witches. Good old Shakespeare, he was a lovely
man. His breath smelt a bit, but that's not his
fault. There was no toothpaste back then.'
Everyone on the bus apart from Janet began
to giggle. Amy put on large sunglasses and held
her hand over her mouth. It didn't hide the fact
that she was laughing.
'The London Eye was opened in the year
2000,' Janet tried a bit later. The bus was going
along the South Bank.
'Oh yes,' said the Doctor. 'And then the
Nestenes used it as part of their plan to conquer
Earth. You must remember that. There were
shop-window dummies coming to life.'
It was when the Doctor told the tourists about
a pig flying a spaceship into Big Ben that Janet
snapped.
The bus stopped. The other tourists booed as
the Doctor was led off by the driver. Amy and
Rory followed. Amy was laughing, but Rory
was holding up a hand to hide his face. 'I've
never been thrown off a bus before,' he said.
The Doctor looked puzzled. 'I was only
trying to make things a bit more fun.'
Amy tucked her hand through the Doctor's
arm and led him towards an ice-cream van.
'Never mind. We can still do the tourist thing
like you wanted. We'll just have to walk
instead.'
They sat on the bank of the river eating icecream
cones. Boats sailed along the water in
front of them. Children laughed and couples
held hands. 'Mmm,' said Amy, licking a blob of
melting ice cream off the side of her cornet.
'This is perfect.'
'Better than fighting monsters,' Rory added as
he ate the last bite of ice cream. Then he
frowned as he spotted a poster on a wall nearby.
'But it's not quite perfect.'
The Doctor and Amy turned round to see
what he was looking at.
'MISSING since May the sixth. Katie
Henley.'
The photo showed a pretty blonde girl. She
didn't seem much younger than Amy.
It wasn't the first 'MISSING' poster they'd
seen that day. Most of them also showed young
men or women, boys or girls.
The Doctor walked over and put up a hand to
touch the face in the picture. 'So much sadness,'
he said softly. 'The sadness that made her leave
home. The sadness of those left behind.'
Amy joined him. She reached out her hand to
touch his. 'We can't solve every problem,' she
said gently.
'We should be able to!' The Doctor sounded
fierce. 'What's the point of doing what we do if
we can't help everyone?'
'I used to think that too, sometimes,' said
Rory. 'I used to wonder why I became a nurse.
There were so many people I just couldn't help.
In the end I had to accept that helping some
people was better than helping no one.'
'Wise old Rory,' said Amy, smiling. She
linked an arm through his. 'My boys. My boys
who help people.' She linked her other arm
through the Doctor's. 'Come on. We're on
holiday, remember.' The three of them walked
off arm in arm. 'What do you want to do now?'
she asked the Doctor. 'We've been to St Paul's...'
'And we got thrown out of the Whispering
Gallery for shouting,' said Rory.
'They wouldn't let us in to Buckingham
Palace to have tea with the Queen,' said Amy.
The Doctor frowned and pulled a crumpled
paper bag out of his jacket pocket. 'I'd even
brought doughnuts!' he said. 'Her Majesty loves
doughnuts.'
'We were thrown out of Madame Tussaud's
when the Doctor drew on the waxwork of Guy
Fawkes,' said Rory.
'Well, they'd got his moustache wrong,' said
the Doctor. 'Guy was very proud of his
moustache.'
'Now we've been chucked off the open-top
bus tour,' said Amy. 'There can't be many more
things to be thrown out of.'
They were walking along the river as they
talked. The Doctor absent-mindedly took a
doughnut out of the paper bag and bit into it.
Jam squirted all down his chin.
Rory spotted another poster. This one did not
show a missing girl. It was an advert for a
show. 'We've not got thrown out of a theatre
yet,' he pointed out.
'Great idea!' cried the Doctor. 'I love a show.'
He looked at the poster too. 'Sammy Star,
Master of Magic. Lovely!'
'Sammy Star? He sounds like he should be
doing children's parties, not West End shows,'
Amy said.
'Nonsense, it'll be great,' the Doctor told her.
'I love a good magic trick.' He wiped his chin
with a hankie, looking puzzled. 'In fact, I seem
to have made jam magically appear on my
face.'
Rory and Amy looked at each other and
laughed. Still with a puzzled frown on his face,
the Doctor took another doughnut out of the
bag and started to eat it. Rory and Amy laughed
even more.
They crossed the river and wandered through
the streets. Rory and Amy both spotted several
more 'MISSING' notices. Neither of them
pointed out the posters to the Doctor.
They came to Trafalgar Square, and stopped
to look at Nelson's Column. The Doctor patted
the head of one of the huge bronze lions
guarding the base. He pointed out the statues
that stood on plinths at three corners of the
square. The fourth corner also had a plinth, but
it was empty. 'They didn't have enough money
for the last statue,' he told Amy and Rory.
'I'd heard they were showing works of art on
it instead,' said Amy. 'Something new every
year or two.'
The Doctor nodded. 'That's right. I think
they're now looking for something that can stay
on it for good.' He bit into his third doughnut.
'Right. Let's see about getting tickets for the
Sammy Star show!'
