A/N: This is something new I tried, a different perspective, to get me through these hard Brittana deficient times. Please let me know what you think.

I do not own glee or its characters.


I don't think many people can appreciate what it feels like to be the "other" woman. I've known for years that Santana Lopez does not let people into her heart that easily. I also know that her walls are there for a reason, and it takes a long, long time for someone to get through. Once you do though, she is a loyal, fiercely protective person who although stubborn is wonderfully caring and loving. Which is why I don't blame her. I don't blame her for loving Brittany Pierce even though she is with me.

We met in the summer in a bar. Typically clichéd but that is what it is. My name is Kincaid but almost everyone calls me Cady. I was out with a group of friends when I saw this mysterious brunette sitting by herself at the bar. Something about her captivated me. I saw quite a few men and women walk up to her but she turned them away. It did seem like she enjoyed the attention, though. When it was my turn to pay, I walked up to the bar and after giving my order, turned to find her deep brown eyes looking me over. I blushed, we flirted and next thing I know we were heading back to my place. I woke up the next morning to a note that said- Thanks for a good time. S. A few weeks later I was heading to my favorite coffee shop when I bumped into her again. Instead of being angry, I was once again drawn in by her good looks and easy smirk. She had this air of confidence that bordered on arrogant and I must say that was one of my favorite things about her. She smiled and offered to buy me coffee and just like that stepped into my life.

We never had one of those rom-com romances. I had just come out of a messy relationship and Santana, well Santana told me she didn't really 'do' relationships. I put it down to commitment issues, till one night at a party an extremely drunk Rachel clung on to me and told me as I was as good as Brittany and she'd kill me if I hurt Santana. I put it down to Rachel being her overly dramatic self, and didn't think much of it till much later. Santana is this tough person who won't take shit from anyone. She has a soft side of course, and she shows it very rarely and through little gestures that go almost unnoticed unless you know her well enough. Like through her backhanded compliments with Rachel, her willingness to let Kurt go shopping and dress her up when he's stressed, so he feels better and how she sometimes stops by my office with a cup of my favorite coffee with a non committal shrug saying it's no big deal. We started going on a few dates, both of us happy with our easy going relationship to ask for more.

Being with Santana was amazing. She was fun loving and free, but prone to being moody. I could see the shadows of memories in her eyes when we walked in the park and she looked at the ducks in the pond, or every time a Disney movie played on tv. She never really talked about it. She eventually told me about her past girlfriends. One name seemed to stand out- Brittany. I also remember at that time thinking the name familiar. She played her off as her first girlfriend and nothing more and swore that she was over her, but in retrospect I suppose some part of me never really believed that. I don't think she believed that either. I knew I was competing with a ghost but I didn't push her, hoping time would heal her and help her move on. But Santana always kept her heart guarded. Unfortunately I didn't and before I realized it I had started falling for the Latina.

I asked Santana to be my girlfriend one fall day when we'd just finished lunch at a cafe near work. It was a beautiful day, and I was elated when she said yes. I pretended not to notice the hesitation before it though, or the fact that her smile didn't quite reach her eyes. I promised her to take it slow, and that's what I did.

We were hanging out at my apartment watching some old movies when Quinn called her. She obviously had bad news because Santana's face fell and she mumbled a couple of things before asking what time the funeral was. She hung up saying she'd think about it. She explained to me that her old cheerleading coach had passed away and that the funeral was going to be held in a couple of days. I nodded and gave her a hug asking if she was ok. She seemed a little lost, but pulled herself together and said she had to go. I offered to go with her and she looked uncertain for a minute. See we hadn't met each other's parents and she was clearly not at that stage yet, but she seemed to be very shaken up by the death and so I offered to stay at a hotel instead, which she readily agreed to. I wanted to be there for her. That night Santana drank more than her normal amount of alcohol, always a sign that she'd had a bad day. She also seemed tense about something which I couldn't put my finger on.

We ended up having the house to ourselves as Santana's parents were on a cruise. While driving there from the airport she seemed to withdraw into herself as she stared out the window of the cab, her features haunted by memories that flashed across her face. A smile when she looked at a tree, a small frown when we turned a corner, a soft sigh as we passed the park. I thought I understood at that time, being home is difficult and I put it down to nostalgia. We got there and dressed for the funeral, me in the spare bedroom and Santana in her room. When I was done I knocked on her door and asked if she was ready, she slipped out and nodded locking up behind us. Apparently Sue Sylvester was a pretty important figure in this small town. The service hall was packed with people, young and old who came to pay their respects. I stood at the back where I noticed Santana talking to Quinn, a tall blonde soon joined them and gave them hugs, although she seemed to linger on Santana a little longer. I thought I was being paranoid till I saw the smile on Santana's face. I've hardly ever seen her smile like that, even though she quickly wiped it off. Her eyes followed the movements of the blonde ever so often till they locked with mine and suddenly clouded over in guilt. She walked over to me and grabbed hold of my hand and whispered how happy she was that I was there. I smiled back, a little unhinged by what had happened but let it go as we settled in our seats. I felt Santana start to slip away, she was with me physically but I could see her going back in her head. She seemed nostalgic and sad and shed a few tears now and then. I guess the coach represented something, because when they lowered the body to the ground Santana's left hand clutched Quinn, who was holding the hand of the tall blonde on her other side. I heard one of them whisper something like unholy trinity and all three smiled sad smiles before they cried a little more. I noticed Santana look up and lock eyes with the blonde. They seemed to communicate without words, everyone else fading away as they just looked at each other. Thankfully Santana pulled out of it and reached out to hold my hand. The blonde gave us an appraising look before looking away.

There was a dinner arranged in the school gym after, and quite a few attended it. Santana kept pointing out girls who were on the squad with her till the blonde appeared again. Santana's smile faltered a little before she said, "Cady, this is Brittany. Britt this is my..um girlfriend Kincaid." Brittany smiled and held out her hand, I smiled back saying, "Call me Cady. Pleased to meet you Brittany. I'm sorry for your loss." Brittany nodded before saying, "Well she's not really dead though. She'll come back soon." I looked a little alarmed at her and then at Santana who had amused smile on her face. "Hey Britt did you see Nancy, she's like super fat." And just like that they were in their little bubble again. I saw Santana look at the girl with something bordering on adoration. But they were catching up, so I moved away (not that they noticed) and went to get a drink. I sat with Quinn who was sitting by herself and watched them. They were talking earnestly to each other and kept touching each other. I was quite worried by now, Rachel's words suddenly flashing through my mind. Quinn saw me looking at them and sighed. "They're just really close friends Cady. Santana cares about you, although she doesn't show it much." I smiled at Quinn, her words offering me more relief than they should have. I always liked her, even though Santana calls her a bitch, but I know Santana loves her though they share a rather strange dynamic.

I went out to make a call, when I bumped into Brittany. She smiled and then gave me a hug. I was a little taken aback and she shrugged and said, "Santana was unhappy for a long time. I'm glad she has someone in her life to make her happy again. You're awesome." She then leaned towards me and asked me if I was a bicorn too, I stared at her a little perplexed till I was rescued by Santana, who I noticed was more than a little drunk. She came over to me and threw her arms around my neck and started to sob. I sighed and rubbed her back, as I mentally prepared for weepy Santana. Brittany stood there looking torn as she reached out a hand to touch her but then looked at me, and stopped instead forcing a tight smile. "Take her home and get her into bed, and hold her and tell her she's pretty, she always feels better after that. Oh also rock her back and forth." She advised me as she turned away. I was a little annoyed at this girl telling me how to handle my girlfriend but she did need to get home because she was making a scene in the parking lot. I drove her back and took her to my bed, where she perched in the corner mumbling to herself and crying. I reached out and tried to console her, telling her everything was going to be ok but she swatted my hand away. I sighed as I pulled her closer and whispered how awesome she was. She looked at me with tear filled eyes and sniffed, " I don't believe you" she said. "Baby you're awesome, and so pretty, and strong. You're everything anybody would ever want." I said gently as her sobs reduced. She looked at me and asked in a broken voice, "Then why wasn't I enough for her?" I didn't know who she was talking about so I stayed silent. She turned away mumbling about her not being pretty enough or man enough and maybe she needed blonde hair or a penis or something before she finally fell asleep. I just held her really exhausted and confused before I fell asleep too.