Written for this prompt on the kink meme: "I'd like some Sherlock/Loki, please. I'd prefer a relationship-snippet to p*rn, but I'll take whatever you give me." Obviously I picked the former :p

Set in some sort of Avengers/Sherlock AU where Loki fell to Earth and onto Sherlock instead. But he still his his magic staff :)

Apologies for any OOCness. Concrit and reviews would be most appreciated.

Unbeta'd, entirely disclaimed, please enjoy.

"Sentiment"

When Loki gets home from a hard day's battling The Avengers – and being beaten, surprise surprise! – it's to find Sherlock sprawled on the couch, in much the same position as he had been this morning when Loki left.

He puts his helmet on the skull. It fits perfectly.

"Taking over the world is significantly harder than I thought," he says

Sherlock hums to show he's heard, even though Loki's not sure he's listening.

"I mean, humans are so pathetic – present company excluded– and need strong leadership! I am incredibly strong, a natural leader and not to mention good-looking. I am quite obviously the best candidate."

Sherlock perks up slightly.

"I didn't realise you could apply to be world dictator…"

"Well no, but that is irrelevant. My point is that everyone would be better off under my guidance."

"You mean your rule," Sherlock interjects.

"That is what I said."

"No, you quite clearly said 'guidance', implying an element of choice which I have previously noticed a distinct absence of during your maniacal rants."

Loki pauses.

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"Don't."

Loki huffs.

"You really know how to boost a god's ego."

"I object to the word god-"

"I object to using my staff as a paperweight."

Sherlock's lips slowly curl.

"Touché."

00000000

"I encountered Mycroft today on the way home." Loki begins short-temperedly, not just from the encounter but from a day of getting his ass handed to him by idiots with machine guns.

"You mean he kidnapped you," floats Sherlock's nonchalant reply from where he's hanging upside down on his armchair.

"I am Loki, god-"

"Objection!"

"-GOD of mischief! I do not get kidnapped."

"Abducted then."

"I willingly accompanied him on a short ride."

"Temporarily captured."

"Fine." Loki practically growls. "He wants-"

"Not interested," Sherlock cuts him off, bluntly.

"He's concerned for your well-being."

"Oh, so he's not concerned that I'm living with a megalomaniac with superpowers from another planet who dresses like a comic book villain and has the same modus operandi as said fictional characters?" Sherlock states bluntly, gleam in his eyes and fake smile firmly in place.

"No." Loki barely refrains from baring his teeth. "He would simply like to see you."

"You see your brother almost everyday. Tell me, how's that working out for you?"

The resultant silence is icy. Sherlock takes it in his stride, continuing to tap away at his phone as if he hadn't just played the Your-Brother-Is-Worse-Than-Mine-Card.

Loki has to admit it was a good move if only to himself, but even so it means he isn't as angry as he probably should be considering he's just been insulted. Sherlock has always been his weak spot, and that's just how Sherlock is. Even so, he's not going to apologise first.

Half an hour later the other man speaks again.

"Let's agree not to talk about our respective brothers."

Loki breathes out slowly. Despite the phrasing he knows it as the peace offering it is, the only one he's likely to get, and only then because his madman probably wants a cup of tea.

"I accept your proposal," he says, and goes to magic up a cuppa.

00000000

"I could really utilise your skills in my endeavour you know."

"Is this your way of asking for my help?" Sherlock asks gleefully. Loki grinds his teeth, but luckily Sherlock doesn't require an answer he already knows. "And which current endeavour would that be? Taking over the world or alphabetising our DVD collection? Because both of those are dull."

"Oh, and I suppose Mrs. Dog-Lady's missing teacup is much more interesting."

"Indeed."

"How could it possibly be harder than world domin-"

"You're conflating interesting with hard again."

"You weren't complaining last night." Loki drawls.

Sherlock closes his mouth with a snap as a blush takes over his normally pale features, leaving the god feeling all warm and tingly inside.

"Th-the teacup," Sherlock stutters, "the teacup was the only thing taken when someone invaded the old lady's home and destroyed every other piece of crockery, obviously to cover up the theft."

Loki blinks.

"Someone stole a teacup?"

"Apparently so."

"Was it an expensive teacup?"

"20p at a roadside stall in 1988."

"So it could be worth something?"

"Possibly."

Loki realises then he's being drawn into the investigation, coaxed in by Sherlock's clipped answers and the sight of his face furrowed in concentration. He doesn't mind all that much though; conquering the world can wait until morning.

00000000

As usual it's Sherlock who's late for dinner when Loki had declared they were actually having a proper Cook it, Sit down, Eat it meal instead of their usual takeaway or misappropriation of Loki's powers, but at least this time he'd texted to say he'd be late. This does of course mean that Loki is left to do the cooking part by himself, but that just means that there's slightly less chance of it all going spectacularly wrong.

He feels he's almost got everything under control when Sherlock bursts through the door, a whirlwind of coat and hair that drops itself on the counter right where Loki's trying to chop the vegetables. It's only some skilful manoeuvring that prevents a lovely behind from being skewered. Sherlock either doesn't notice or doesn't care (which would be a terrible shame), instead choosing to regale him with all the gory details of the latest murder case, a triple homicide in which the victims heads were all swapped around and the reason for his lateness.

"You know when I told the Yard I had to get home to my boyfriend Anderson asked-"

"He's the idiot yes?"

"Yes, don't interrupt. He asked 'what sort of alien would date you?'"

Sherlock swivels his head as he talks, completely straight faced but betrayed by the gleam in his eye. Loki can't compete, his face twitching before breaking into a wheezing laugh.

"Only a very, very clever one."

000

Their dinner burns, but it's nothing a little magic can't fix.

~fin

I would love to hear what you think. Thanks for reading.