Your heart will lead you where you need to go. It always does.
Kendall had to admit, for a thirteen year old, Katie Knight was pretty damn smart.
As Kendall walked from Rocque Records back to the Palm Woods, the signs were everywhere. Katie was right. Running from his problems and trying to use "love science" weren't helping—he knew which girl he wanted. Deep down, he thought he'd always known it, from the moment that the elevator doors opened.
Jo was a great girl—she was his first love, after all. They'd always have that history together.
But… that was just it. They had history.
Maybe his future lay with someone else.
Lucy sat curled up in a ball on her couch, staring idly down at her phone and feeling like such a girl as she wiped a stray tear off her cheek. She'd vowed to never let a guy make her feel as crappy and awful as she did after what happened with Beau, and yet here she was, sitting alone in her apartment crying—crying—over Kendall Knight.
Get a grip, Lucy told herself. She wanted to be angry, to tell Kendall that if he was so unsure of what he wanted then he could just have Jo, because she wasn't going to wait around and pine for him like a lovesick school girl. That so wasn't her. But try as she might, she couldn't muster it up. She got why Kendall would go back to her. She was pretty, she was fun…. She was his first love. After all, hadn't she been considering going back to Beau when he randomly showed up?
When a soft knock came at her door, she figured it was Camille coming to deliver the news that Kendall had gotten back together with Jo. Fine. She hoped they'd be super happy together.
So when she opened the door and saw Kendall himself standing there, a sheepish smile on his face, she was shocked into silence.
"Hey," he said hesitantly.
"Hey," was all she managed to say back.
"We, um—we need to… can we talk?" Kendall swallowed thickly, his palms sweaty. He noticed that Lucy's eyes were rimmed red and tried not to think that it was probably his fault she'd been crying.
"You can spare me the speech, Kendall," Lucy answered. "I understand you want to get back together with Jo. It's fine. You don't need to explain it to me."
She began closing the door, wanting to get him and his green eyes and his plaid shirt and his rumpled hair out of her mind before she started crying again, but Kendall stuck his hand out to prevent her from shutting it all the way.
"Lucy, wait, please. That's not why I'm here!"
"It's—what?" She'd been so sure—positive—that she wouldn't be the one he chose, that she hadn't allowed any other possibilities to enter her mind. But now that she was standing here, staring up at him, a tiny bit of hope welled up inside her.
"That's not why I'm here," Kendall repeated, his eyes pleading with her to believe him. "I came because I—I wanted you to know that… it's you. I don't want to get back together with Jo, Luce. You're the one I want to be with."
"I… Really?" The balloon of hope swelled a bit at his words. And just as rapidly, it deflated as a prickle of doubt crept in. "But you've been avoiding me all day! I know you've been running around talking to everyone but me about this. How do you think that makes me feel?"
"Look, I know I screwed up, I should have just talked to you about it, but I was just so caught off guard. I wasn't trying to hurt you, you have to believe that."
Lucy nodded. "I believe you. But that doesn't change what you did."
"I know, I swear I know, just—please. Can we go for a walk or something?"
Kendall raised his eyebrows and looking into his eyes, Lucy felt herself let some of her guard down.
"Yeah. Alright."
They'd circled once around the park, Kendall explaining everything that had been going through his head over the course of the day and Lucy asking the occasional question.
"I know how it must have looked, me not wanting to talk to you all day," Kendall said. "I was just afraid of saying the wrong thing, or deciding too quickly and making the wrong choice."
"And… you're sure that this is what you want? That I'm what you want? Because I don't want to be a rebound, Kendall."
"You're not," he promised. Kendall slipped his hand into hers and grasped it tightly, smiling a little when she allowed him to interlock their fingers. "I'll do anything I have to prove it to you."
They held hands and continued talking all the way back up to her apartment, and this time she let him inside.
He'd been here before, of course. How many nights had they sat on her couch, feet propped on the coffee table, watching 80's movies and Judd Apatow comedies, throwing popcorn at each other and discussing the latest Fall Out Boy and Daft Punk and Avicii songs?
The energy tonight was different. It was charged with something electric.
"Thank you," Lucy said softly, looking up at him again.
"For what?"
"For explaining to me what was going on in your head. For making me believe you. I was so positive that you'd go back to her."
Making a snap decision, Kendall tugged her forward, cupping her face and leaning down to press his lips against hers. It took her by surprise, but she kissed him back, her eyes fluttering closed as his arm slid around her and rested on the small of her back.
"I don't want you to ever doubt that you're the one that I want," Kendall said.
Lucy nodded and smiled, remaining quiet until Kendall caught a glimpse of the clock on her wall.
"It's getting late," he started. "I should probably get going."
The tension in the silence that followed was palpable. Both of them felt their hearts beating in their chests, the spark between them slowly catching fire.
"Stay here," Lucy said.
She pulled Kendall back to her, her arms locking behind his neck as their mouths met again, lips parted as their tongues moved in sync with each other. Kendall's fingers tangled themselves in her hair, one hand at the base of her neck and the other resting on her hip. He lost himself in the faint scent of vanilla shampoo and the taste of cinnamon in her mouth, and she did the same in feeling his strong arms holding her close against his body.
When they pulled away to catch some breath, Kendall's eyes searched hers. "When you say, 'stay here,' do you mean…?"
"Yeah. I do," Lucy replied, feeling the color rise in her cheeks. "If you… if you want to."
"Are you sure?"
She nodded slowly, still not taking her eyes off of his. "Yes."
Kendall grinned and dipped down to kiss her again quickly before she led him down the short hallway to her bedroom. Once inside, they felt the tension between them rise again.
Lucy turned on a small lamp on her nightstand, its warm light casting a soft glow in the room.
"Are you, um…nervous?" She asked Kendall, noticing that he was standing stock still a deer-in-headlights expression on his face.
"Yeah," he admitted. "You?"
She shook her head. "No."
Hearing this, he relaxed slightly.
Kendall's breath caught in his throat when Lucy pulled her shirt over her head. Mirroring her, he unbuttoned his own shirt and let it fall to the ground, along with the white t-shirt he wore under it. He fumbled with his belt buckle nervously as he watch her slide her pants down her legs, pooling at her feet until she kicked off her shoes and stepped out of them. He did the same, biting his lip as they both stood there in their underwear.
The seconds stretched on and Kendall said nothing, his eyes raking over Lucy's body. And not just the slight curve of her hips or the swell of her breasts, or the spot on her neck that he longed to kiss. But also the birth mark at the top of her left thigh that was a patch of skin slightly darker than the rest of her body, that was almost the exact shape of a sailboat if you squinted. And the scar on her right arm that he knew she'd gotten when she was thirteen, when she had to have surgery after breaking her elbow because she'd fallen out of a tree trying to rescue a cat. And the three moles under her ribcage that fell in a perfectly straight diagonal line.
"What?" Lucy asked, an edge of self-consciousness in her voice.
"You're beautiful," Kendall murmured. "Come here."
Lucy took the few steps and closed the distance between them, joining him as he sat down on her bed. She lay back, letting Kendall rest his body weight on her as he kissed her neck. She gasped quietly when he nipped at her with his teeth, and growing bolder, began to let his hand wander. It moved from her face to her hipbone, then back up to her chest, his palm resting on her breast, still covered by her black bra. He snaked his arm behind her back to clumsily attempt to pop the clasp, growing mildly frustrated when he couldn't do it right away.
"Let me help," Lucy giggled. She sat up and reached behind her, getting it undone and sliding it off, letting it join the random scattering of other clothes across her bedroom floor.
"You're beautiful," Kendall said again.
The boy pressed a trail of kisses from her shoulder to her collarbone, listening to her breath catch as he moved downward. He rolled his thumb over her nipple before sucking it into his mouth and then moving over to give the same treatment to the other side. Meanwhile, Lucy was lightly threading her fingers through his hair and tracing random patterns on his upper back.
His hand rested at her hipbone and he looked up at her, confirming his permission to continue. She nodded and he hooked his thumb under the soft material and pulled. Lucy lifted her hips to assist, her skin tingling as his fingertips slid down her legs.
Kendall crawled back up, kissing her as his hand found its way between her legs, exploring the folds of skin and finding the slick wetness that was already starting to gather. Lucy breathed deeper as Kendall moved his fingers around, coming so close to the one spot she wanted him to find. Instead, he moved lower, slowly pushing a finger inside her, feeling her walls pulse around him as he curled it. She shuddered under him, gripping his shoulder tighter when he pushed a second finger in along with the first. He repeated the motions, twisting his hand and curling his fingers, feeling her move along with him. Lucy sighed quietly when he pulled them back out, and she guided his hand with her own a few inches north until she was sure he could feel what she was pointing out to him.
This time, Lucy gasped louder, tiny explosions happening behind her eyes as Kendall's fingertips grazed over her clit. The sound of her breath catching in her throat and the way she moved her hips to meet the rhythm of his fingers, and the way she bit her lip to keep from crying out all combined to make Kendall dizzy, blood rushing from his head to his groin as he grew harder beneath the boxers he was still wearing.
"Kendall," Lucy said, jolting him out of his momentary stupor. "Do you, um, have any-?"
"Wha—oh. Oh. Yeah. Hold on."
He crawled over the bed and dug into his jeans for his wallet, pulling out the small foil packet. Before he rejoined her, he hesitantly pushed his boxers to the floor, blushing as he bared himself to her. He decided, however, that this was no time to be insecure, so he ripped on the packet with his teeth and pulled the condom out, rolling it down into place before settling back onto the bed with her.
Kendall propped himself up on his arms, hovering over her as he positioned himself at her entrance.
"Just—take it slow, okay?" Lucy said, a hint of nervousness finally betraying itself.
"I will. I promise."
Lucy winced as he began pushing forward, the intrusion to her body feeling like a sharp pain. She took shallow breaths, not wanting to scare him off, but she couldn't deny that she felt uncomfortable.
Kendall, for his part, was doing his best to keep his word and not hurt her any more than he had to, but it was so hard to remember where he was when she felt so tight and hot and wet around him. He pushed forward again and Lucy yelped a little.
"Wait," she said, squeezing her eyes shut as her body stretched around him. Kendall froze, feeling like such a dick for enjoying this so much when she wasn't, wanting nothing more than to keep going but knowing that he would have to control himself until she told him otherwise. Kendall sucked in a few deep breaths of his own as the agonizing seconds stretched on. Finally, when he thought he would explode if he had to wait any longer, she spoke again. "Okay. Keep going."
Kendall did and Lucy let out a whoosh of air as he buried himself within her. "Are you okay?"
"Y-yeah."
"You sure?"
"I'm fine, Kendall. Move."
Watching her face, Kendall pulled out halfway and moved slowly in and out of her until he saw her start to relax. Eventually she began moving her hips to meet his, and decided it would be okay to go a bit faster.
Lucy cried out again when he pushed into her harder than he had before, but it didn't sound quite like the first time.
"There," she breathed. "Right there."
Nodding, he repeated the movement, noting with satisfaction how her grip on his shoulder tightened and her panting became louder. He groaned too, feeling her walls clench around him. He wasn't going to last much longer, so he stilled for a moment and reached his hand between them again. This time he found her clit on his own and used his thumb to rub the bundle of nerves until Lucy moaned out loud.
Again he moved inside her, matching the pace of his hips to that of his thumb until she was writhing and shaking beneath him, her body tense as it neared her release.
"Come on," he said. "You're right there."
With a few more flicks of his thumb, Lucy came, Kendall's name on her lips as her body shuddered under and around him. A loud groan escaped Kendall as he watched her and he felt himself tense before coming as well. He buried his face into her neck to muffle the sound, their chests pressed together as they inhaled deeply.
She winced again as he pulled out of her completely and rolled onto his back, pulling off the condom and tossing it into the nearby trashcan.
"Was that—er, was that okay?" Kendall asked, suddenly self-conscious as Lucy settled into his side.
She nodded against his chest.
"That wasn't…I wasn't expecting this when we came back up to my apartment," she said honestly.
"I didn't mean to pressure you or anything," Kendall started, worried.
"Shh." Lucy hushed him with a finger to his lips. "I wasn't expecting it. But no regrets."
Kendall kissed her forehead and closed his eyes. "No regrets," he repeated.
