Once More Out Of Character
By The Blue Fairy

Disclaimers: I do not own Suikoden. I repeat, I do not own Suikoden. Konami does (those jerks). As for Buffy the Vampire slayer, she belongs to Mutant Enemy and Joss Whedon. So, please, for the love of puppies and Christmas do not sue me. You won't get much. Maybe a pineapple, and that's if you are lucky.

Authors Notes: Okay, first I must tell you that this is a Suikoden III PARODY based on the episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer "Once More With Feeling." With the introduction of each of the characters in the story I will make footnotes on the bottom of each act to explain why the character was chosen for the part. There are some that will definitely be a "WTF, mate?" moments, trust me.

This is also part satire. So please don't take it too seriously.

PROLOGUE – Going Through The Fiction

It was a cold night at Brass Castle. The wind whistled its eternal melody as the night nipped at the form of the Chris Lightfellow, captain of the Zexen Knights. Tonight was her night to patrol the grounds along the bridge. A job that was usually dealt to those who were lesser in rank, but Chris needed to clear her head. She walked along with the sound of her armor clanking. Chris looked up at the night's air anxiously and headed towards the end of the bridge, and suddenly... she sings!

CHRIS
Every single fic the same arrangement
I go out and fight the fight
Still I always feel this strange estrangement
My characterization isn't real, nothing here is right


A bandit jumps out of the foliage at the end of the bridge and rushes towards Chris with his sword drawn. Ever the powerful captain, Chris spins him around and continues with her song.

CHRIS
I've been making shows
Of trading woes
Just hoping no one knows
That I'm just going through the fiction
Playing out this part

Without much effort Chris removed her sword from it sheath and gutted the bandit before her without batting an eye.

CHRIS
Everything seems to penetrate my heart
I am always cold, and king of righteous
Now I find I'm changing

The bandit that Chris had just put out of his bandit misery was not alone. Two more cannon fodder dressed bandits appeared with their leader tailing behind them. The bandit leader tossed his random captive to the ground.

CHRIS
Crawl into this castle
You'll find this fight
Just changes everything

BANDIT A.
She ain't got that swing

The Bandit punches Chris in the face, while his comrade manages to wound the knight with his dagger. Chris falls to the ground and lies on her back, in a bit of pain.

CHRIS
Thanks for noticing...

Chris continues to lie there as the bandits begin to break out into a song and dance number.

BANDITS
She does pretty well
With fics from hell
But lately we can tell
That she's just going through the fiction

Chris, slightly annoyed, stands up and pulls Bandit A away from the others. Decapitating him with much ease.

BANDIT B
Faking it somehow...

Chris pushes Bandit B aside and stabs the bandit leader.

BANDIT LEADER
She's not even half the girl she... Ow..

Chris watches as the leader falls over clutching his wound, and she walks over to where he left his prisoner.

CHRIS
Will I stay this way forever?
Sleepwalk through my life's endeavor?


Chris frees the prisoner with one kick swing of her sword.

HANDSOME PRISONER
How Can I Repay...?

CHRIS
... Never.

Chris turns away from him and continues back to the castle.

CHRIS
I don't want to be...

Dramatically Chris stands in the middle of the bridge and strikes a pose.

CHRIS
Going through the fiction
Losing all my drive
I don't even see...
How this is really me...
And I just wanna be...


Chris whirls around as the last bandit approaches her and stabs him.

CHRIS
Oh where was I... Oh yes...
ALIVE!!!!


Footnotes:

Now, one could easily assume why Chris Lightfellow was chosen to fill in Buffy's shoes. She is a strong female type who could whip you six ways from Sunday. Out of all the characters she also made the most sense to cast as Buffy. Since, if you can't tell, I'm using the Zexen Knights as the "Scooby Gang." So its pivotal that Chris be the centric figure.

Please read and review. This is my first Suikoden Fic and I would like opinions. Thank you for your time.