Hey guys! It is me, Digital Riot back at it again with a new story.
Not really.
This is actually a parody/spoof. Umm, It's basically where my main OC, Diante explains everything that he hates and I make a skit out of it. So it is supposed to be funny, okay. Think Saturday night live or something like that.
So with that being said, let's roll the skits.
Diante moves the camera so it focuses on his face clearly. His face is a look of somebody who is very exhausted. He looks stressed out.
"What's up everybody, Diante here. And I am upset. So upset in fact, I had to make this to show you every single thing that I hate. So this is just a rant… I guess." Diante sighs in heavily. As he begins to list the first thing on his mind.
"Don't you hate attorney at law commercials? You know the ones where they always show people who won 5 million dollars because they got a paper cut? And it goes like 'Celino and Barnes, call 1-888-888? Yeah, sounds great right?" Diante smiles.
His smile turns upside down as he shakes his head.
"Wrong. It is not great at all. Trust me, 9 times out of 10, you are not going to get a million dollars for an injury. Let me show you what I mean…"
The video feed changes, and two birds are shown. They are dressed in suits and they look very professional. A scarlet macaw and a pigeon stand back to back facing the camera. Lawyers.
Ferguson: I'm Jackson Ferguson, and this is my colleague David, I trained for 8 years at Columbia Law School to earn my Doctorate in law. After graduating top of my class at both Columbia and Yale, I worked in the legal field for 16 years. I have helped millions of victims get the compensation that they need, usually millions of dollars or even more.
David: And I too am a lawyer.
Ferguson: But don't take our word from it, here is the experience of our customers and see if we are right for you.
The camera cuts to Blu, standing there with a smile.
Blu: After I was hurt in an accident, the David was able to win $6,000 Dollars for my case. Thanks!
The camera cuts to Jewel, also with a smile.
Jewel: After I burned my tongue on a cup of hot coffee, Ferguson was able to award me $6 million dollars, now I don't have to work ever again!
The Camera flashes to Nico.
Nico: I accidentally sprained my ankle at the mall while I was walking. Ferguson was able to win $10 million dollars. I can entire, and my kids can live comfortably forever! I am so happy!
Blu is up now, and he looks rather dejected. Kind of disturbed.
Blu: wait… I was hit by a cement truck. I was sitting on my living room sofa, as it crashed through my wall and dumped cement all over me. I was stuck in solid cement for six days! A fireman had to chisel me out! Now that I think about it, I probably should've gotten more than $6,000 dollars!
David and Ferguson take the stage.
Ferguson: I promise that I and my colleague will deliver the highest amount of expertise inside the courtroom, with great behavior!
David: And the best part about a courtroom is that there is a police officer there, with a gun! But you can't touch it!
Jewel: After Ferguson delivered his speech to the judge, both the Jury started to applaud and cheer. The Judge even started to cry. That was the best speech I ever heard!
Nico: Fergusons professionalism was so top notch that as soon as we entered the courtroom, the judge and jury voted in my favor. I didn't even have to give a testimony!
Blu: Wait a minute… David LITTERALLY walked into the court room wearing two different color New Balance sneakers! He kept passing out all over the courtroom while giving his speech! He touched the Officers gun, I am pretty sure that affected my case!
Ferguson: I and my legal team will fight the hardest. We know everything and every rule in the field of law.
David: I am also very intellectual.
Jewel: Ferguson was able to pull out a book of law and read every single rule inside of the book pertaining to my case. The Judge was astounded! It was crazy.
Blu:…. Really? David literally came to my house in his 'Birthday Suit' and after I told him that he had done a horrible job getting my case, and to get off my property naked, he ran inside my house and locked himself inside the bathroom. He then declared squatters rights! I had to hire another lawyer to get him out of my bathroom! I am literally drowning in debt!
Ferguson: I found David after he donated a kidney to my sick mother. After that I took him under my wing, and we became great partners!
David: And I donated my other kidney to his brother!
Blu: THIS DUDE IS WALKING AROUND WITH NO FREAKING KIDNEYS!?
Ferguson: Make sure you know who to call whenever you have an injury. Call me and David! We will get you your money, to make sure that you are compensated!
David: Yeah, and I too will- ouch I am Blacking out! I don't have kidneys!
Roll credits
The video turns off and Diante's face appears again.
"You see what I mean? I actually feel bad for Blu. Like honestly. Every time I turn on the TV it is there. A legal commercial. There is no escaping them, they are on billboards, Subway advertisements, Bus advertisements, on the radio, in the newspaper, in your school textbook (The schools need to get money from somewhere, right?) they are absolutely everywhere.
They are like Germs. Everywhere, and there is no getting rid of them. There are so many lawyers nowadays that I feel that if someone looks at me the wrong way I could get 10+ million dollars. It is insane.
But that is not all. Tune in to the next video to see the next thing that makes me upset! Peace!"
The camera turns to darkness.
