Heartbreak
Kyouya
I always had liked him.
Even when I first met him. I think it kind of frustrated me...that I liked him, I mean. He was so different than me. But maybe that's what made me like him. I liked that he was different, in every way. Looks-wise, we couldn't have been more different. Me, with my dark hair and dark eyes...glasses, shallow dress. Him, that blond hair and bright eyes and the clothes to match. I always felt inferior to him. He didn't have to try like me and yet, he wanted to do all he could to make me happy.
I always liked him, but I hadn't wanted to say anything.
When he asked me to join his club, I knew that father would be mad, but it would give me a chance to get closer to him. I already needed to be close in order to follow my father's rules, but over time I forgot that my father had demanded me to befriend the strange boy who infatuated me so. Of course, I couldn't seem excited about joining the club, but I told him yes.
I always liked when he touched me. Which was often, though he didn't think anything of it.
He was always friendly and happy. I had thought it was ignorance at first, but then I learned it wasn't that. When the club started up it surprised me to see him so infatuated with the women for he had always come across as homosexual to me. Or maybe it's just that I wanted him to be...
Either way, I had always liked him, perhaps I even loved him, and until today I had never made it known.
Tamaki
I always liked him.
Even though he was quiet and tried so hard to pretend that he was cold when I knew he wasn't. And even when he gave me distant glances instead of simply smiling. I didn't know if he liked me the way I liked him, but I was glad to see that he wanted to be friends. And I was glad that he liked to be around me.
I always liked him and I thought I tried to show it.
Even when I found out that the main reason he had started to talk to me was because his father demanded it of him. I think it was because I knew that deep down inside, he was glad that his father had forced him to befriend me, a person so different from himself. I could see it in his eyes when we were together...he was happy. And I was happy that I made him happy. And that's why I asked him to start the club with me, because I knew it would make him even happier which meant I might get to steal a glance at his smile again.
I always liked to hug him.
Even though I think it got on his nerves. I would hug him and touch his arm, any little thing to feel his soft clothes or smooth skin. I didn't know what he used, but his skin was always the nicest thing to touch. A few times, his hair had brushed my face and that too was silky to the touch. And it made me happy.
But I hadn't realized that he felt the same way until today.
Kyouya
When Haruhi walked into the third music room, I had immediately known she was a girl. The way she moved, her body language, it all just seemed so obvious. As the day grew old, others started to notice as well. But rather than noticing that, Tamaki started to fall for her, even though he thought she was a boy.
Once he found out that Haruhi was a female, that didn't change his interests at all. He was still infatuated and still wanted to be around her all the time.
It made me jealous to say the least.
But I grew out of the jealousy. I hadn't seen him smile like that in quite some time. Every time Haruhi gave him an inkling of attention, that smile grew the slightest bit bigger and those eyes sparkled just the slightest bit more.
I supposed the jealousy turned into heartbreak. That is the best way to describe it I suppose. Like, every time I would see him smile at her instead of me...I felt part of my soul slip away. And every time they would touch, I felt my heart fall apart. And when the sparkle in his eyes grew anew, my heart picked itself up and sewed the fresh wounds up again with a sharp needle. Every time he swooned, I turned cold. But regardless, I watched him...all the time.
In time, I turned my eyes away as the pain became too much. Haruhi was always kind to me, but it didn't mean anything. I just wanted Tamaki to pay attention to me again. I eventually realized that I was jealous again, but this time not of Haruhi. I was jealous of the twins. Hikaru and Kaoru...they were always the center of each other's worlds. I wished that Tamaki and I could be that way. When the club started up and I became known as Mother and he as Father, I had good hopes. But then his daughter came into the picture.
So...I stand here, above my heart in pieces...watching as it picks itself up piece by piece. I watch the bloodstained ground and those tiny bloodstained pieces and wonder...how much more of this can my poor heart take? The pieces were tired, worn and the threads couldn't hold anymore. How much more can my heart take before it breaks, falls to the ground and ceases to move?
