This is my random ramblings about how annoying and stupid Mary Sue's are, in Hetalia-fanfic style! Sorry for this, I got bored. So here ya go!
"This is completely not awesome," Prussia proclaimed. "Where the hell are we?"
"Shut up, East," Germany said. All the Axis, Allies, and neutral countries were standing in the middle of a field, with tall trees surrounding them. They had no idea how they'd got there.
"Ve, Germany, this place is weird...." Italy said, stepping closer to the taller blond for protection.
"BOOM YOU ARE PREGNANT!" a voice shouted. They looked up to see a creepy chick in black spy clothes descend from the sky. "I AM MARY!!" she proclaimed. "YOU ARE ALL PREGGERS!" And then she flew away. Everyone was silent for a few minutes.
"What the bloody hell was that?" England finally said. France grabbed his ass, causing England to growl and hit him. "Get off me, bloody frog-face," he ordered.
"And what'd she mean by 'you are pregnant', aru?" China asked, panda sitting on his shoulder as usual.
"I'm going this way!" Prussia proclaimed. "This way is awesome, I think." 'That Way' was simply a random direction he was pointing to in the trees.
"No way, I'm going that way," Romano said, heading in the opposite direction. Spain and Turkey followed him. Germany, Italy, Japan, and Prussia went another way; Russia, the Baltics, and Hong Kong took a right; and China, England, France, Switzerland and Liechtenstein went left.
"Germany, where are we?" Italy asked, practically hanging off the man's arm. Japan was walking at Germany's side, and Prussia was leading the way, Gilbird perched atop his silver hair.
"In a forest full of crazy lunatics," Germany muttered. That weird chick who shouted at everyone earlier was creepy. Not only had she been wearing skin-tight spy clothes, but she had the ability to fly for some reason or another. Her black hair had been pulled back in a ponytail, and her matching black eyes glittered in the sun. And to top it all off, she apparently enjoyed shouting at people that they were all pregnant. "Oi East!" Germany shouted. "Where the hell are we going?"
"You'll see little bro!" Prussia shouted back over his shoulder. "Hey, do you guys hear that?"
"Hear what?" Germany asked. There was a weird slashing sound coming from the undergrowth to their right. Then, a random girl leaped out and onto the pathway with an unnecessary-yet-perfect forward flip.
"I have saved you!" she announced, waving a sword in the air. Her brown hair was littered with twigs and dirt, and she looked like a female version of Robin Hood.
"Er, wonderful," Germany said. "Who're you again?"
"I'm Hunter Raven Amia Clark!" the girl said. "I saved you from absolutely no danger with this random sword that I have for no apparent reason."
"That's nice..." Japan said warily.
"I save everyone!" Immediately after saying that, Hunter Raven Amia Clark burst into tears, falling dramatically onto a fallen log that was conveniently perched on the side of the pathway. "Everyone in my family is dead! I hate my life!" she sobbed, face in her hands.
"Uh...." No one was sure how to respond to that one.
"Would you like a hug?" Italy asked, confused. Hunter Raven Amia Clark instantly stopped crying and looked angry, getting to her feet. Despite the fact that she had been crying, her face wasn't reddened in the slightest.
"No, I do not want a hug!" she said indignantly. "God, I'm a strong girl; just because everyone in my past died, I have no friends, my hometown doesn't exist anymore, and I've attempted suicide more than twice doesn't mean I'm screwed up!"
"Wow, is this chick bipolar?" Prussia muttered.
"I heard that with my incredible supernatural hearing!" Hunter Raven Amia Clark said, pointing her sharp sword at Prussia's face. "I can decapitate you with this! I learned how to use it after I got raped the second time by my uncle." This time, none of the four men even tried to say anything. So Hunter Raven Amia Clark shrugged and smiled at them, lowering the sword.
"I'll see you guys later! I've got to go save some people. Oh, and for short, you can call me Mary." And with that, she began hacking away needlessly at the forest growth again and out of sight, leaving a very confused Germany, Italy, Japan, and Prussia standing in the middle of a forest.
Mary Sue's in this chapter:
Random!Sue, who doesn't add anything to the story, disappears and reappears frequently, and is completely useless.
TragicPast!Sue, who acts strong and perfect, angsts about her tragic past, and freaks out when someone tries to help her.
A/N: Yeah, so that's chapter one of Hetalia in Mary-Sue-Land. Next we meet Russia, the Baltics, and Hong Kong, with their little collection of Sue's. Any suggestions of which Sue's should appear next?
Reviews and Flamers welcomed!
