My SWORD HAND aches to write a goofy, random Fire Emblem: Awakening fanfic. And I shall not deny it!

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Okay, it was time to get a new barracks. The old one was practically falling around the Shepherds' ears. Chrom and Vaike have punched too many holes in the wall, the kitchen was forever a mess despite Frederick's cleaning sprees, and Henry has summoned up something that liked to hide in dark corners.

Fortunately, due to Fredericks's money miser ways, the Shepherds were able to finally move into a bigger and better barracks than before, which required more maintenance. But first things first: roommates.

Chrom had a pretty simple way of picking roommates. "We'll all pick names out of this bucket. Whoever you get that's who you'll stay with. NO takebacks," said Chrom as he dropped the bucket on the common table.

"That's a marvelous idea, milord. Let chance pick the roommates while we go set up our room," Frederick agreed heartily, already mentally preparing Chrom's bed sheets.

"Actually, you're drawing too, Frederick."

"Yes, yes-huh? Wait, why?"

Chrom rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Well, it's only fair. Everyone else has to do it." Not to mention that you're kinda a handful to stay with… he thought.

"Have I done something to displease you, milord?"

"No, it's just-"

"Do you not enjoy my company? Is it my tendency to watch you sleep that bothers you?"

YES! "Ahhhh…no, it's, umm…"

"ALRIGHT! Gregor will do his drawing to cease whiny chatter. It's grating on his ears," Gregor plunges his hand into the bucket and takes out a crumpled name. "Hmm, Gregor has chosen scaredy rabbit boy."

Just by the description everyone knew he meant Yarne, who didn't look the slightest bit happy to be rooming with someone as big as Gregor.

"Can't I just sleep in the carrot patch outside?" He asked, sizing up Gregor. "It's really no big deal-HEY!!"

Gregor had picked up Yarne and slung him over his shoulder. "Don't worry, Gregor will be training you to be like brave, buff man with minimal pain involved."

As Gregor carried his new roommate away Maribelle strode up to the bucket and selected her name (girls had a different bucket from guys).

"Ugh! Honestly, do I have to put up with Hex Girl over there?" she complained when she showed Chrom her name. Lucky her: she got Tharja.

Across the table Tharja chuckled darkly. "If it's any consolation I find you equally disgusting."

Before Maribelle could retaliate Chrom interrupted," Okay, you two try to get along as best you can and not destroy each other completely, that's a command." He looked pointedly at Tharja.

"Fine, fine. I'll hex my side of the room, if she inches over her face will break out in hives, hideous hives."

While those two grimly marched to their fate Ricken was allowed to choose his roommate. "Oh! I got Henry. That's…cool. Maybe."

"Whoa, seriously? Neat. Know what that means, right?" asked Henry as he clamped his arm around Ricken's shoulders.

"Not really."

"It means you get to meet my pet crow! His name's Crawsley. He'll be excited to meet you surely. Just don't look directly at him…"

Nowi ran past Ricken and Henry as she went to draw her roommate. "I hope I get Lissa or Sumia, someone I can have fun with," she said as she dug vigorously through the girl's bucket. But when she glanced at the name she moaned. "Aww, I got Miriel, she's no fun at all!"

Miriel pushed her glasses up and sniffed. "Despite your attitude towards me I am ecstatic to have you. Hopefully our time together will help me acquire some information about your dragon form."

"That doesn't sound fun either," Nowi huffed as she and Miriel went up to their room and Chrom poised himself to draw a name.

Don't worry. None could be as bad as Frederick. Except one. And Chrom's luck of chance had drawn him. Gods…

"My new roommate is Owain."

"WHOOO! I get to room with Uncle CHROM!" Owain shouted as he bounded up the stairs.

Chrom sighed heavily and followed stiffly up the stairs, leaving the others to choose their fate. He had to mentally prepare himself for the insanity to come.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Since this is completely in the moment I would put the other characters' and their roommates in the story later, like Frederick and a bunch of others. (That includes future kids.) I just want to get as many wacky pairings as possible in weird situations, that's the storyline.