Note: Batman is owned by DC Comics and was created by writer Bill Finger and artist Bob Kane. This story was inspired by the Warner Bros. animated show Beware the Batman.
Batman returned to the Batcave. He had been trying to get proof that Oswald Cobblepot, better known as the Penguin, had been doing illegal experiments, but he didn't get any proof. He walked around while sighing. He said, "I failed to do anything useful this time Alfred."
Alfred Pennyworth replied, "Don't worry Batman."
Batman sternly said, "I have to worry. Oswald's one of the richest people in Gotham and he sure doesn't deserve to be. He pretends to be both a responsible business man and an animal, but he's neither of those things."
Alfred replied, "No offense, but that's what you're like."
Batman paused and said, "A fair point, but Penguin and I have much different senses of morality. I try to protect as many citizens of Gotham as I can, but he only protects his wallet."
Alfred replied, "I'm afraid that I have to change the subject. Your next party is in about forty five minutes."
Batman's main priority was fighting crime so the thought of going to a party wasn't tempting. He said, "I can't waste time on that. Besides, I don't think it'll make a difference if I show up."
Alfred replied, "The party is taking place at your mansion."
Batman angrily growled and said, "I won't be able to work on this Penguin case, because of this silly party."
Alfred replied, "The party is to raise money for charity. That hardly counts as silly."
Batman thought about it and said, "Very well then. I don't have that much time so I need to get on an overly fancy tuxedo and go to the party room."
Alfred replied, "I hope you have fun at the party."
Batman turned around and said, "Having fun is one of the last things on my mind."
An hour later the party started. Bruce Wayne was wearing a tuxedo that had a shiny yellow tie. Bruce whispered, "I shouldn't of told Alfred that cleaning my party outfits was a waste of time. I look silly while wearing this tie. It's as shiny as a flashlight."
Simon Stagg grabbed Bruce and asked, "Where's the money?"
Bruce asked, "What are you talking about?"
Mr. Stagg fiddled around with his soda cup and said, "I heard that this party was about the rich getting more money."
Bruce was unpleasantly surprised by how clueless Mr. Stagg was. He said, "This party is about the rich donating money."
Mr. Stagg threw the soda in Bruce's face and grumpily replied, "This party is a waste of my wealthy time. I'm ashamed of how much you value helping others." Mr. Stagg stormed out of the mansion. Most of the guests were glad about that.
One of the guests, named Margaret Pye, noticed Bruce's tie. She had an excited smile on her face while saying, "How shiny."
Bruce replied, "Oh, thank you. It's nothing that special."
Margaret responded, "If it wasn't special, it wouldn't have gotten my attention."
Bruce said, "Then you must be a special person."
Margaret replied, "I'm nothing special."
Bruce lightly smiled and said, "If you weren't special, you wouldn't have gotten my attention."
Margaret smiled back and asked, "Are you using my own saying against me?"
Bruce said, "Maybe or there's a chance that we think alike."
Margaret replied, "No two people think alike. Everybody's special."
Bruce said, "Well, I think you shine with a little more specialness."
Margaret pointed to Bruce's tie and replied, "You're the one who's shining."
Bruce responded, "Thank you. You intrigue me."
Margaret said, "I'm used to hearing that."
Bruce asked, "Really?"
Margaret took a long pause and said, "I don't know. My memory's kind of fuzzy."
Bruce replied, "Then you need some special memories that you'll always remember."
Alfred walked up to Bruce and said, "I need to speak to you."
Bruce asked, "Is now really the time?"
Alfred sternly said, "Yes."
Bruce replied, "Okay then."
Bruce and Alfred walked to an empty room of the mansion. Bruce asked, "What's going on?"
Alfred said, "Mr. Stagg got an important phone call on his way out. Someone called his office. The caller is going to rob his company."
Bruce asked, "Is it the Penguin?"
Alfred said, "I don't know many details."
Bruce replied, "I'll quickly say goodbye to my party guests and get ready for justice."
Bruce walked to Margaret and said, "I'm afraid that I have to get going."
Margaret asked, "You're leaving your party before your guests do?"
Bruce said, "Yeah, I have an unscheduled business meeting."
Margaret replied, "Too bad. I liked getting to know. I'm Margaret Pye."
Bruce responded, "I'm Bruce Wayne."
Margaret replied, "Duh."
Bruce said, "Fair enough. I hope to see you again." Bruce snuck into the Batcave and got on his Batman costume. He went into the Batmobile and started heading towards Mr. Staggs' company.
Twenty minutes later Batman arrived at the building. He went to the roof and saw a mysterious woman coming to the roof. She was wearing a black costume that had fake bird feathers on it. Batman sternly asked, "Who are you?"
The woman smiled and said, "I'm Magpie."
Batman asked, "What business do you want with Staggs?"
Magpie said, "I have no interest in that fool. It's his vault that fascinates me. It's so shiny."
Batman paused. Magpie had a similar name and interest in shiny things as Margaret. He asked, "Would you happen to know Margaret Pye?"
Magpie replied, "No I don't and I have no interest in knowing who she is." She looked at Batman and said, "Your costume's so dark and lacking in shininess."
Batman suspected that Magpie was Margaret. He said, "I can't tell you how I've seen you before, but I have. Lets talk this out."
Magpie smiled and replied, "I have no interest in discussing such things." She scratched Batman's arm and kicked him to the ground. She burst the top of the roof off and went inside of the building. Batman spent twenty seconds recovering before following Magpie into the building.
Batman ran around the building and looked around for Magpie. He found the vault and saw that Magpie had already grabbed a bunch of bags of money. He said, "Stay away from that cash."
Magpie replied, "Sorry Batman, but the money must be taken away. Besides, Staggs doesn't deserve it."
Batman responded, "I don't disagree with that. However, stealing from him is hardly admirable. What are you up to?"
Magpie said, "It's not about what I'm up to. My employer is the one making the decisions."
Batman asked, "Are you working for Penguin?"
Magpie said, "I am."
Batman asked, "Why?"
Magpie thought about it and said, "I'm not sure. My memory's fuzzy."
Batman replied, "Come with me Margaret. I can get you the need that you need."
Magpie had a suspicious look on her face while asking, "Why did you call me by that name?"
Batman said, "Because that's your real name."
Magpie paused and replied, "You're a fool for thinking such things."
Batman calmly touched her hair and said, "I don't want to have a battle with you. I want to help you."
Magpie smiled and asked, "So, you want to be my knight in shining armor? That way you'd shine."
Batman replied, "Don't be silly."
Magpie said, "You intrigue me Batman. I need to get going, but feel free to give me a call." She threw a giant can of smoke screen across the room. She escaped and stole the money from Staggs' vault.
Batman went back to the Batcave while feeling ashamed of himself for not stopping the robbery. He walked up to Alfred and said, "I have a lot of confused feelings going on."
Alfred replied, "I hope you can take care of that."
Batman said, "I believe I can. Did Margaret Pye leave her phone number?"
Alfred replied, "She wrote it down on a sticky note. I figured that you'd be excited about that."
Batman sternly said, "I'm not interested in her for romantic reasons. She robbed Staggs' company tonight, but she didn't do it willingly. I think that Penguin's hypnotizing her."
Meanwhile, Magpie went to Penguin's hideout. Penguin angrily squawked and said, "You took several minutes longer than you were supposed to."
Magpie chuckled and replied, "I get you the money you wanted and you still find a cheap excuse to whine."
Penguin got excited and asked, "You actually managed to rob Mr. Staggs?"
Magpie confidently said, "I sure did." She presented the bags of money and said, "I took everything that his vault has."
Penguin replied, "Pretty impressive."
Magpie started getting a headache and nervously said, "I don't feel so good. I feel like I'm losing random memories."
Penguin angrily replied, "The experimental potion that I've been using on you sure doesn't last as long as it should."
Magpie's mind started turning back into her memories as Margaret. Her cellphone started ringing. Penguin said, "Answer that silly thing. The sound of it annoys me to no end."
Magpie picked up the phone and said, "Hi."
Bruce was on the other end of the phone. He said, "Hi Margaret. I had a good time talking to you and want to know more about you. Can you meet me at my mansion for lunch tomorrow?"
Penguin threatened to use his umbrella on Magpie if she didn't say yes. She paused and said, "Okay Bruce."
After the phone call was over Magpie said, "I don't even know this Bruce guy. Batman's the one that I'm interested in."
Penguin replied, "Then it's too bad that Bruce and Batman aren't the same gentleman. You're going to on a date with him so you can rob him."
Magpie responded, "I don't think so."
Penguin said, "Tomorrow, your memories of being Margaret will come back to you. You'll date him as Margaret and rob him as Magpie." He did an evil laugh.
The next day Bruce and Margaret had lunch in Bruce's dining room. They had a normal and nice time for a half hour, but Penguin knocked on the door while wearing a mask on his head. Alfred opened the door and asked, "May I help you?"
Penguin said, "I need to talk to Margaret."
Alfred walked into the dining room and said, "A mysterious masked man wants to talk to Margaret."
Margaret said, "I don't know who that could be, but I should check." She faced Bruce and said, "I'll be back in a minute."
Bruce replied, "Okay." He snuck to the Batcave while Margaret walked to the door.
Alfred followed Bruce and asked, "How's the date going?"
Bruce changed into his Batman costume while saying, "Skip the jokes. Penguin's probably the one at the door. This is my chance to stop him and try to save Margaret."
Meanwhile, Penguin sprayed his mind-changing chemical at Margaret. Margaret's memories tuned back into her Magpie memories. Penguin said, "Start robbing Wayne."
Magpie ran around Bruce's mansion while looking for shiny things to steal. Batman walked out of the shadows and said, "Hi Magpie."
Magpie turned around and asked, "How did you know that I was here?"
Batman said, "I happened to be nearby."
Magpie lightly smiled and replied, "I don't think so. I think that I captivated you and you've been using your detective skills to find me."
Batman said, "I have been trying to find you so I can help you."
Magpie replied, "That's great. I'll rob the shiny stuff and a few million from Wayne and then we can go on a date."
Batman sternly responded, "No."
Penguin walked into the mansion and was upset and nervous about Batman being there. He said, "Bruce is supposed to be here, not Batman." Batman was mildly amused by the irony of what Penguin said.
Batman approached Penguin and asked, "What have you been doing to Margaret's mind?"
Penguin proudly replied, "I've been saving it."
Batman angrily asked, "What the heck are you talking about?"
Penguin said, "Margaret was a responsible, smart woman, but she suffered from random mental stress. Thankfully, I had been working on a experiment that can bring out the crazy side of people and make them even crazier."
Batman angrily asked, "You've been turning a good woman into a criminal for your evil experiments?"
Penguin nodded and said, "More or less. The Joker's been upstaging me with his crazy antics so I've been making Magpie my crazy assistant. I provide the intelligence and schemes and she provides the robberies. I'll become even richer than your precious Wayne friend."
Batman was angrier than he had been in a long time. He grabbed a ray gun out of his belt and started zapping Penguin. He stopped zapping Penguin after a short while. Penguin passed out. Batman check his pulse. Penguin was still alive, but Batman had gotten closer to ending Penguin than he wanted to. He sat on the ground and asked, "What's wrong with me? I almost betrayed my moral values."
Magpie saw Batman and felt sorry for him. She sat next to him and said, "That was so heroic of you. You saved me from him."
Batman thought about what he just did. He attacked Penguin harder than usual, because he was furious about what Penguin ruining her memories. He realized that he cared about her. He said, "It seems like I did attack him, because of you."
Magpie smiled and replied, "Then you have a strong admiration for me."
Batman said, "I want to help you. You don't deserve to go to Arkham Asylum. I'll take you to a better mental institution. I'll get you some real help."
Magpie asked, "How about we skip saving sanity and go for the insanity of a pleasant life together?"
Batman said, "No thanks." He put handcuffs on Magpie and said, "I promise that you won't be treated like a prisoner when you get to the institution."
Magpie nervously asked, "Don't you care about me?"
Batman said, "Yes, but don't expect a romance between us." Magpie looked down and agreed to go the institution. Batman gave her a lift. He gently walked her in and said, "Goodbye."
Magpie had a mischievous smile on her face while saying, "I know that you'll miss me and visit me."
Batman sighed and replied, "I will, but during my free time. Fighting crime is always my top priority."
Magpie said, "Before you go, you must answer one question: Do you love me?"
Batman left, because he wasn't comfortable revealing the answer to that. Magpie smiled with confidence, because she knew that Batman had a soft spot for her. Batman started driving home while hoping that Magpie would become cured someday. Batman said, "I hope that her bad side fades out and that her good side shines forever."
