Head Start

A Ranma 1/2 Fanfiction by ErekLich

Disclaimer: I own nothing, and am making no money from this work.

Chapter 1: An angry start

Ranma Saotome was not having a good day. In fact, the past several days had arguably each been the worst day of his life. In the past week since that ominous day his stupid pop had knocked him into a cursed spring, he'd turned into a... a... a girl.

'I jus' HATE this stupid body! Nothin's balanced right... An' I'm so much weaker! Makes me so angry jus' thinkin' 'bout it! Course, I'd be angrier if I wasn't so darn hungry...'

As Ranma mused bitterly to himself ('himself, not herself!' Ranma would insist in thought), the Guide was yammering on about where they were and the history of each hill and valley. Ranma snapped to full attention, however, when the word "village" came up.

"Nyuchiehzu? That some kinda food?"

"Sirs, this town of Amazon womans!" From ahead, the sounds of cheering and battle made their way to Ranma. "Today womans have tournament!"

'Why's the guide have ta be so darn cheery 'bout everything, anyway...' Ranma decided that watching the fight would be more interesting than continuing to sulk, so he turned his attention to the two girls fighting. They were on top of a suspended log, both armed. The larger, uglier girl was wielding a studded greatclub, while the cuter, smaller girl was wielding chui. 'Prolly hafta knock the other girl off ta win...' It was then that Ranma noticed the large pile of food - and without thought, the cursed martial artist was eating! 'Wow, this stuff is good. Glad they had some food...' Ranma then turned back to the fight. 'Heh, the ugly one's lost this fight already. She's trained okay, but tha other girl's faster and smarter...' As if to prove Ranma's point, the smaller girl jumped over the larger, and using the moment of surprise this action gave her, knocked the larger girl off.

"Win tournament is very good honor."

"That girl's got some serious power." Behind him ('Him, not her!' thought Ranma angrily) his father nodded, acknowledging the girl's ability. Of course, Ranma was confident that he ('not she!') could easily beat her, but the girl had to be the best in her village.

"Sirs! What you eat here?" It was only then that Ranma looked around, and noticed a few very important things. First, there was a sign sitting in front of the food they were eating. Second, everyone in the village was staring at them. Third, the winning girl had thrown one of her chui. The attack was way too slow for Ranma, though, who dodged it with ease. Then she spoke. Ranma had no idea what she was saying, but she sure sounded angry. "'You woman and panda! Why you steal my prize? What you doing?' She say," the Guide helpfully translated.

"Prize?"

"'Today fight once-a-year tournament. Now I become champion.' She say."

'Now that's more like it!' Ranma felt the thrill of upcoming battle. This would be great! The girl was doomed, but she was at least good enough that Ranma could make this a workout and blow off some steam. Plus, Ranma always preferred being able to fight his way out of things. ('Not her way, his! His!') '...Hey! Come ta think of it, I bet they have some hot water, or tea, or somethin'! I'll show these 'Amazons" that Ranma Saotome ain't no girl, and doesn't lose!' "Then if I defeat you, you've got no problem, right?"

The girls only response was to narrow her red-wine eyes in an arrogant smirk, then leap straight back to the log. Ranma, on the other hand, had something to do first. He ('just as soon as there's some water!') pawed through the prize, but didn't see any kettles or anything. Ignoring the crowd's murmurs, he leaped over to a nearby area where he smelled fires. Sure enough, an elderly couple had a kettle on.

"Sorry 'bout this!" cried Ranma. Moments later came a different cry, the cry of "HOT!!!" from the now actual male. Ranma then bounded enthusiastically back to the log, and assumed a ready position. He smirked with sadistic satisfaction at the look on his opponent's face. 'Priceless! Not so tough now that yer facin' a guy!'

Shampoo, for her part, stopped to reevaluate her foe. 'That woman changed into a man? Is she cursed? Wait, she used hot water to change... crap, how do those stupid pools work again? Still, he's quite cute, although not cute enough to make me want to lose.' Steadying herself, Shampoo was just about to attack when a voice rang out above the crowd.

"Wait!" All eyes, Ranma's included turned toward the new voice. A small, very old and wrinkled woman emerged from the crowd. "I am Elder Ku Lon. You have come from Jusenkyo, warrior?"

Anger and embarrassment welled up in Ranma in equal parts. Looking away in what he hoped seemed an aloof manner, he shot back, "Yeah, what of it?" Ranma was prepared for many responses to that question, but he was certainly not ready for the crazy old lady to jump onto the log faster than he could follow! Trying not to let it show how unnerved that made him, he asked "Whadda ya want, ya old ghoul?"

A light bonk to the head accompanied by a sharp "quiet" was his only response as Ku Lon spent a long minute staring at him.

"Indeed, your aura is male."

"Damn right! My name's Ranma Saotome, and I'm a guy! A! Gu! Uy! Stupid curse..."

She looked up at Ranma with an intense gaze. "And you intend to challenge Xian Pu in combat?"

"Yeah, I'll fight... Shampoo.. for tha food," said Ranma, struggling with the foreign name. "Ya got a problem with that, old ghoul?"

Ku Lon's smile chilled Ranma to the bone.

"Not at all! First one to touch the ground loses." Ku Lon then turned to her great granddaughter. Xian Pu! The male Ranma Saotome has challenged you. You know what this means.

I do. 'Still,if he is good enough to beat me, he's truly worthy to be my husband. I either gain a cute husband, or avenge my honor. Win-win for me!' With a grin, she turned her full attention to the oncoming match.

Ku Lon then jumped off the log, and cheerfully yelled, "Begin!"

For a moment, neither fighter moved. Shampoo was the first to break the deadlock, charging forward with a battle cry. 'This 'Ranma' is unarmed, so he'll try to dodge. If I feint with one chui, the follow up attack will knock him right to the ground!'

Unfortunately for Shampoo, Ranma was no normal fighter. 'A feint, huh? Knew she was a smart one, but she's underestimated me this time!' With a feral grin, Ranma parried the feinting chui into her other weapon, knocking both of them to the side. Gasping, Shampoo barely pulled back enough to avoid Ranma's follow-through.

Ranma decided that it was time to go on the offensive. None of his attacks quite landed thanks to his opponent's superior reach, but he was ever so slowly driving Shampoo back.

Meanwhile, Genma decided to follow his son's example. Grabbing a roast duck to munch on, he made his way over to the elderly couple, who were attempting once again to boil water for their tea. Aghast, they simply watched as the panda lumbered over, took their kettle, and poured the entire thing over his head. Once again human, Genma set the kettle down and continued chewing, not even bothering to thank the couple. Glad to be back in his normal body (at least until it rained again), the elder Saotome made his way back over to the Guide.

"Young sir losing ground again!"

Genma looked up to find that indeed, Shampoo had managed to regain her balance. Now the two were trading strikes, with Shampoo slowly edging Ranma back "Bah! The boy is just playing with her now. He'll end this when he feels like it."

Arrogant though it was, Genma's statement was entirely true. 'Well, this was fun, but if I take too long pops will get mad. I need ta get inside her reach... ah! Gotcha!' As he dodged the next strike, Ranma 'tripped' and began to fall backwards. As he expected, the Chinese beauty gleefully seized the 'opening', pushing him off the log. "Heh heh!" Wrapping his hand onto the log, Ranma gleefully used his momentum to go under the log, rocketing back up into a kick into Shampoo's back.

'Oh no! Behind me!' Shampoo turned, but not fast enough. Both fighters careened through the air, but only one thud was heard. Shampoo landed flat on her back, while Ranma was crouched with his feet on her hips and his hands on her shoulders.

It was at this moment that Ranma's hormones decided to remind him that he was a healthy sixteen year old male. 'So... cute...' Not knowing how to interpret the strange feeling he got when he looked at the girl beneath him, Ranma stared in awe as the girl's shock turned into a smile. 'Such a beautiful smile...' "Uh, you okay?" 'Wait a minute, she can't understand me! Uh...' Fortunately, Ranma was saved from his abortive attempts to think when the judge took his hand and stood him up. As his hand was held up as the winner, Ranma took a moment to bask in the cheering. 'That's right! Ranma Saotome don't lose!'

Ranma was only back in his comfort zone briefly, however. Shampoo stood up and moved purposefully towards him. Ranma's brain locked up once again when she leaned forward slightly and placed her hands on his cheeks. "Wo ai ni!"

Ranma was quite nervous, to say the least. 'She's talkin' at me again, but I still don' know what she's sayin' or why I feel this way when I look at 'er... I'm so confused!' And then she did something that blew Ranma completely away.

Shampoo leaned forward a little further, and kissed him.

"Oh! Great happiness! Amazon woman give Kiss of Marriage!"

That brought Genma to full alert mode. "Eh? What is this, now?"

"When outsider male beat Amazon woman, she give kiss and they marry! Congratulation!"

'Crap! I can't let Ranma get married here! I have to take him home to marry one of Tendo's daughters! Plus, Nodoka would kill me!' Fortunately for Genma, he was something of an expert on getting Ranma out of engagements. Unfortunately, his usual methods wouldn't work here; the boy was too old and from the look of how he had started to kiss the Chinese bimbo back, the boy might actually fight to stay if Genma didn't act now. 'Thankfully, they're all distracted! Saotome secret attack: Silent Weasel Pierces the Wall!' With speed that would surprise many who knew the lazy martial artist, Genma leaped behind his blissfully ignorant son, and lightly struck a quick series of pressure points on the back of his neck, instantly knocking Ranma out.

"Ayiaaah!" Shampoo was simultaneously surprised, confused, and angry. Just when her new husband had started to kiss her back (probably out of instinct; he'd still seemed too shocked to be doing it on purpose), some strange man knocked him out! Now, under almost any other circumstances, Shampoo would have been on the outsider almost instantly for daring to strike her husband. Unfortunately, she was still dazed enough that by the time she fully realized what was happening, the odd male was already running off with her beloved!

"Sir! What you do? Amazon womans have much pride! They surely kill you!"

"Then run faster, you oaf!"

Shampoo barely heard the cries of her Great-Grandmother; she was already doing what her Elder's frantic instructions said. Unfortunately for her, Genma Saotome had spent large chunks of his adult life getting out of trouble. Sometimes, that meant fighting. Other times, it meant talking, or groveling. But a lot of the time, it meant running away. And so it was that even carrying the poor Jusenkyo Guide and his unconscious son, Genma was still outpacing the entire village of Amazon warriors.

As Genma pulled further ahead, Shampoo grew grim. She had gotten a pretty good look at this violator, and she had gotten a very good look at her husband, in both of his forms. The outsider was fast, but Shampoo was determined.

Whatever it took, she would get her husband back.


Author's notes:

Many thanks to rewind gone nuts for beta-reading and idea-vetting this for me. I also want to highlight his work as the inpiration for me to get this fic out of my head and onto 'paper', so to speak.

Further chapters will come out as I have time and drive; no promises on a timeframe.

Enjoy!

Updated to remove uninteded italics. Thanks to R. for pointing them out!