HETASEAN: The ASEAN Commonwealth

Starring: Thailand, Malaysia (Peninsular Malaysia, Sabah and Sarawak are separate characters), Indonesia, Singapore, Brunei, Laos, Cambodia, Vietnam, Myanmar, and Philippines.

Note: Most of the plots (if there's any) are not historically correct. Well, I slept in my history class, you see… The characters also did not actually personificate each countries they supposed to represent, as this is just a fic.

***

Birds were chirping, the sun was shining brightly in the fine, perfect morning. The ASEAN countries sat on their respective seats inside the regular meeting room. The meeting was actually pretty boring, as most of them were fighting hard to keep awake, the others simply snoring without doubt.

"…And we continue to the next agenda. Let discuss about the tourism attractions in the ASEAN. Anything to say, ana~?" Thailand turned around to see his fellow comrades giving their full attention toward him. It is not that he is scary, but being the only nation in the south east Asia who was free from being colonized is enough to give him some respect, deep respect.

One of the nations raised his hand. "Yes, Indonesia?" Thailand replied to the action. Said country rise from his seat and cough into his fist.

"I want to comment," Indonesia started. "Less people are coming to my country…because of someone's been stealing my culture..." he trailed off, while glaring at a certain dark-haired nation beside him; who is suddenly awakened from his sleep.

"Huh, what?" Malaya stood up to face the Indonesian. "Are you still accusing me, stupid wit-who-is-over-reacting-just-because-of-one-stupid-dance?! We're neighbours, it would be normal if we share the same culture. And I don't really damn care about the dance's origin. Ask my Ministry of Culture if you still insist!" He started ranting.

"At least I DO have my nationalism spirit to actually defend my culture! You know what, my people REALLY hate Malaysians, especially the one who walks freely around my country!"

"That doesn't give the right for you to sweep them out of your country! You should be thankful that I don't do the same towards your people, or else it would make your country flooded with jobless people. Not to say that you didn't teach them well, they're making troubles in my country!"

"Yeah, and you didn't teach your people properly either. What are you gonna say about what they wrote in the internet?!"

"You did it too! Stupid Indonesian bastard!"

"How ungrateful, YOU should realize that you also took other things from me and claims it as yours!"

"I'm not! Those things are also common in my country!"

"DID you know that the word 'melayu' originated from Indonesia?!"

"I… I'm not giving it back to you! Tidak melayu hilang di dunia-" A fist suddenly hit him hard on the face. The argument turned to a bloody battle between the two nations.

"It's not going to end here, I could say." Sarawak sighed.

"Why can't they just stop?" Sabah just watched her husband's stupidity.

"No, they're too stupid to do so," Philippines voiced out her feeling.

"Ana~ Maybe I should not bring this topic for now…"

"Um, aren't you going to stop them, Singapore?"

"No, Brunei. I'm tired."

Cambodia snoozed off again, snuggling on Laos as if he was his teddy. At the same time Vietnam was being hit with a high-heel after his attempt to seduce Myanmar. It would be another hour wasted upon calming Indonesia and Malaya. But again, today was just another calm day for the ASEANs.

***END (at least for now)***

A/N: Well, that's all for this chapter.

-Malaya is the Peninsular Malaysia. His name is just too long so I call him his former name. I also decided to separate him, Sabah and Sarawak because according to my history textbook, Sabah (Borneo) and Sarawak joined (in this case, married) Malaya after Malaya's independence.

-translation:

Melayu- Malay people

"Tidak Melayu hilang di dunia"- "Malays shall not disappear from this world" is a famous words spoken by Malay's legendary hero, Hang Tuah.

-Here's the story's explanation:

Once, Malaysia held a promotion of Malaysia's best tourist spot and culture on TV. The advertisement showed the traditions and cultures of Malaysia.

However, the Indonesians claimed that one of the dances shown is theirs and made a huge uproar about it. They sounded their protest but both the Indonesian and Malaysian government never give any explanation regarding this problem.

Then the Indonesians planned "Sweep Malaysia"(sapu Malaysia) in order to show their protest. The plan is to shove away any Malaysians living in their country.

The Malaysians took revenge by criticizing the act in the internet, thus internet war rages between both citizens.

They also brought up the heap of Indonesian workers in Malaysia.

When all of this happened I just said, "Why are they so childishly stupid?"

-And lastly, since I am Malaysian, I only know Malaysian history. If anyone would like to share their knowledge about the South-east Asian history, feel free to do so.