Title: Beautifully Broken
Rating: M
Genre: Hurt/Comfort/Romance
Spoilers: Current
Summary: Maybe it's her mother, maybe it's her father, maybe it's her. But one thing's for sure, Jeff Winger is good at taking away the pain.
Disclaimer: I don't own Community, but what else is new?
A/N: This is the first story I've written with smut in it. This story does have cutting in it and does get descriptive so read at your own risk. Other than that, this story may make seem OOC but I think it's because nothing like this has ever happened on the show and most likely never will. Also I still don't have a beta, so all mistakes are mine.


Beautifully Broken

Annie held her tears until she got in the shower. No one upset her, and it wasn't her period. It was simply her. What started as a feeling, best described as a worry or a fear, turned into self doubt, cutting herself down, questioning her worth, and then it turned into crying, and crying about anything.

She quickly stripped down and stepped into the warm, falling water. She cried, and hoped the sounds of her sobs were drowned out by the shower. She sank to the floor of the tub and just the water pellets continue to soak her. She took a deep breath in, and another one out. She was determined to figure out why she was so sad. Everything in her life was perfect. She graduated Greendale, and everyone was still keeping in touch. She was already working a little bit as a paid intern at a doctor's office. She was going out to dinner with Britta and Shirley in a couple hours; there was literally nothing wrong with her life, except for there totally was.

She stayed in the shower until the water began to cool off and lose it's warm comforting heat. She stepped out into the humid bathroom and decided that she had done enough crying for today. She wrapped her towel around her body and another one on her head, and just like that, it never happened.


Annie was never a heavy drinker, but she did have a tendency to drink when she was really upset or stressed. She went to the liquor cabinet after an average-non-exciting-nor-boring day. When she saw that they were out she had two options, she could go to the liquor store and buy more vodka to drink and drink it by herself, or she could go to the bar a few blocks away.

She figured the bar would be less pathetic.

Two beers, and a few screwdrivers later she was definitely not of sound mind. She was going to go home right after her second beer but then a guy named Jason, or was it Justin? She couldn't remember, but anyway he bought her another screwdriver, and then another one.

She vaguely remembered Jonathan's? Jeremy's? hands around her waist pulling her close to him, and the reddish purplish hickey was proof that his mouth was on her neck. Then the rest of the night was a blur.

She woke up in a bed, which was not her own. She sat up by instinct, but her hangover and gravity was telling her no, and she fell back over.

God, she had sex with a man who, not only had she never met before, but she couldn't even remember his name. She was half proud of herself for living not vicariously through Britta, but through herself, but she was also half disgusted for reasons that should be obvious.

She slowly sat up this time careful not to wake up James? Jeff? (She figured his name probably wasn't Jeff, God knows she'd remember that…). She found her purse, her jeans, underwear, one shoe, bra, her top, the other shoe. She scrambled to get dressed and ran out the door.

She was prepared to call a taxi, but found she didn't need to after realizing that she was only about ten minutes away from her building. She could make it home before 7:30, which meant the boys would still be asleep, which meant that this never happened.

Oh God, she was Jeff. She was a whore, although doing thing just once didn't actually mean she was an actual whore, but she was well on her way down that path. She felt bad and guilty, but compared to other things, she'd definitely felt worse about cheating on a test, or when her parents divorced. Whether it was a rite of passage, or just a mistake, she was happy the incident was behind her and happy to be walking home as the sun rose and the sky turned from indigo to pink and orange.

She walked home, just telling herself that she wasn't a bad person and that it was just a mistake and that she's never drinking again because God, she is thirsty and her head is killing her.

And that proud feeling?

It's gone.

She just mistook it for someone caring.

But truth be told as much as she hated walking barefoot on the sidewalk with her tall black heels in her hand, she wouldn't mind hooking up with somebody again, because that feeling of someone caring, it's a nice feeling until it wears off. She then realized that was stupid because she's got friends that care about her, but whatever, she has more important things to deal with, like her hangover, or walking in a straight line.

She took an Advil for the hangover, a shower for the stench, but unfortunately there was nothing she could do for that feeling of emptiness growing inside her.


"Annie you got a letter!" Abed shouted from the living room as he was sorting out mail.

"Did I now?"

"Mmhm, it's addressed to Miss Annie Elizabeth Edison; I didn't know that's your middle name?"

"Yeah, my Mom's sisters name is Elizabeth," she said grabbing the letter from Abed.

She walked in her room and sat on her bed. She opened the letter diligently and began to read.

Annie,

I hope all is well, I'm sorry we haven't spoken in ages, and I'm also sorry and afraid that your mother is at the Porter Hospital in Denver. She tried to commit suicide last Thursday, but your step father found her in time apparently. I know you are not on speaking terms with either of them but if you would like to visit her she at the Porter Hospital. Next time you're in the city, I'd like to do lunch. I'm sorry that we haven't spoken in so long.

Dad

P.S. Here is some money for rent, groceries, or for whatever you need.

Five $100 bills fell out of the letter. Annie rolled her eyes, typical. Her dad, whom she never talks to, sends her money and says that'd he'd like to have lunch. Annie pretty much figured out at age 14 that her dad just gives her money in hopes that's all he as to do, and the "I'd like to do lunch" is pretty much just to be polite.

She didn't know whether to be sad or angry about her mom. The last time her mother was in Porter was for Annie after her mental breakdown, and the time before that was when her mom tried to commit suicide the first time. After her first suicide attempt her dad left them, and left Annie to take care of her mentally ill mother. She pretty much knew all along that her mother and father never loved each other but she lost all respect for that man after he left. After all, he left them when Annie's mother needed him the most, but also when Annie needed him the most. Annie needed someone to tell her that it wasn't her fault, that not only her parents divorced, but that her mother tried to kill herself. She needed some support from someone she loved. But the only thing she got was a check every month from her father (not even a visit) and a referral to the school councilor. From that point on Annie spent the rest of her adolescent life walking on egg shells around her mother, afraid that she'd crack and go crazy on her. Annie thought that she did a good job caring for her mentally ill mother, but then when it was Annie's turn in the hospital, her mother didn't take care of her what-so-ever.

Annie decided that she wasn't sad, she was just angry.

And she was not going to "do lunch" with her father or go see her mother.

She took the money and put in her underwear drawer, and then ripped up the letter and threw it in the trash. These two adults were just people now. People she wanted nothing to do with.

But hey, on the bright side she did just get five-hundred-dollars.


Tonight was Shirley's birthday, and they all decided to go to The Cheesecake Factory, because you know, you only turn 44 once.

Annie woke up later than she normally did. Troy and Abed went to play video games with one of their friends. They had invited Annie, probably just to be polite, but she declined she wasn't in a socializing mood. But honestly, when was she anymore?

Troy and Abed left at three, and Annie decided on cleaning up the apartment and lying out what she was going to wear tonight. The group had decided on wearing nice clothes, actually Shirley did, and no one wanted to argue. Annie opted against one of her dresses she normally wore to school, or to lunch or when she went anywhere. She decided to wear her sleeveless little black dress, because she sure wasn't going to wear that to- well, anywhere.

She found her pair of black pumps that she wore that night at the bar. She looked at the shoes and laughed at herself; of course she ended up going home with somebody! The shoes didn't quite scream "Fuck me" but they didn't scream "I'm here for my grandmother's funeral" either. She slipped the shoes on and walked to the full body mirror in her room.

Her Greendale tee shirt and her Nike shorts didn't match her sky high heels, but she had to admit, she looked pretty fantastic, at least her legs did anyway. She took her hair down out of the messy bun it was in. She smirked as she posed a little bit; she needed to wear heels more often.

After her little game of dress up she decided to get in the shower. She fell asleep before she could shower last night, and didn't want to go to dinner looking like a greasy French fry.

She washed her hair and she washed her body but she still really needed to shave.

She was half way though one leg and shaving under her knee when she nicked herself.

She didn't curse, or bit her lip, she simply just said, "huh," because Annie decided that it didn't hurt. The pain was unlike any other pain where she might be sore from it, this pain just happened, and then it was over. She bled only a little, and she watched a red tinted pool of water move toward the drain. She found it fascinating.

She was about to turn off the water when she looked at her razor. She felt the inanimate object stare back at her; she picked it up and held it to her hip and pinched some skin then gently ran her razor over it. It hurt a little bit longer, but she decided it was worth it. She watched as the blood trickled down her leg then to the drain of the shower with the rest of the water. It was fascinatingly beautiful, a concept which should be painful.

"Huh."


The evening, a harmless evening where people gathered to celebrate, didn't prove to be all that harmless. Or did it?

Maybe it was her little dress up session that gave her the extra confidence. Or maybe it was the fact that she was wearing red lipstick that made her feel like a million bucks. But she couldn't help but notice that when she walked in that Jeff's eyes went to straight to her.

"You look great Annie," Jeff whispered as they hugged.

She decided to be bold and kissed his cheek. Not hard enough to leave a stain of course, but just to get his imagination rolling.

"Thanks," he squeezed her petite frame, her hip knocked against his leg and she cowered back and whimpered quietly.

"Are you okay?"

"Oh yeah, I'm fine it's just-" she trailed off, "So how are you? How have you been I haven't seen you in like a month?"

"Oh, I'm fine nothing new."

"Same here."

They sat next to each other.

They took their seats and all wished Shirley a happy birthday, then broke off into little side conversations. Annie, of course, spoke with Jeff, nothing serious mostly just small talk.

Harmless.

A glass of wine.

She caught Jeff staring at her while she was laughing with their friends and drinking a glass of red wine. The way she held it in her hand, her posture, the way she drank radiated class and confidence.

"I'm twenty two," she said taking a sip of her wine as she caught Jeff staring at her.

"I know," he said, a little taken back.

She made sure to leave a little wine on her lips for her to lick discretely.

"Do you?" She asked sounding raspy, she smirked at him.

Harmless.

Their body's accidentally brushing against each other.

Her leg brushed against his, drawing his attention to her. She made sure to do that more often, but never calling attention to it as she still remained in the group conversation.

Maybe she was just lonely and wanted to sleep with someone.

No, she was definitely lonely, and who better than Jeff?

She gently brushed her hand over his thigh. Jeff caught on and his hand rested on her knee and slowly slid his hand up higher and higher until Annie caught it and intertwined their fingers.

Harmless.

Jeff giving Annie a ride home, even though Troy and Abed were there.

"So you've changed," he admitted, careful to keep his eyes on the road.

"Not really, I'm still the same Annie you know."

"Fair," he paused "but you are different though."

"How so?" She asked dumbly.

"Well, you're- you know…" He stumbled.

"No I don't know, spell it out for me," she whispered.

"You're dangerous Annie," he breathed.

"I was going for daring, but I like dangerous better."

Harmless.

Her adrenalin.

Her chest heaved as Jeff's hand laced with Annie's. She wasn't nervous, just excited, because she knew where this was heading. She wasn't the same girl in the shower earlier that day; she wasn't that same girl who cried at the drop of a hat. In fact this feeling made her forget all about her internal affairs.

They reached a stoplight, and it took every ounce of self control not to look at Jeff. She kept her focus forward and a glimmer of a smirk formed on her face. She could feel him looking through her. She remained looking forward when his hand slowly crawled up her arm, past her elbow, to her shoulder, when his hand tickled her neck, she gave in. She looked over and saw him inches away from her lips. She glanced down at his lips, curved upward.

"Do I make you nervous?" His eyes were darker now, dark with lust.

"Try me," she said closing the distance between their lips.

Harmless.

Ending up at Jeff's instead of Annie's

They hurried out of his car and through the halls of his apartment complex. His hand lightly pressed against the small of her back as he guided her to his apartment. He hurried and opened the door, practically flinging Annie inside. He shut the door with her back as Jeff pressed her up against it. The door was cold on her upper back. She wrapped her leg around his and he felt her warm centre up against his thigh. Their hands were everywhere and Jeff lips were devouring Annie's. She left his lips and kissed along his jaw. She left a red lipstick mark on his neck this time and he used the wall as leverage to lift her a few inches off the ground and her dress became shorter and shorter. She smelt like fruit, mahogany and musk, and tasted like wine. Jeff put her back down and led her to his bedroom, still kissing.

Annie's fingers started to pop the buttons on his shirt and before she knew it she was falling into his bed with him.

Harmless.

Sex.

He positioned himself at her entrance and thrust into her as they made out furiously. She moaned into his mouth and then broke the kiss and rolled her head back in ecstasy. He frantically kissed her neck and licked his way up to her ear.

Her legs hooked over his back as her hands groped the sheets as she writhed beneath him.

"Fuck," she grunted.

"God, Annie."

He picked up the speed when he felt his orgasm quickly approaching. Annie clenched her muscles around him her mouth opened, her chest heaved quickly, and her back arched.

She writhed beneath him and his thumb brushed against her clit, send her over the edge.

"God Jeff I'm- Oh, oh god don't stop! Faster," Annie cried.

"Please tell me you're close," he groaned as he drove into her harder.

She felt her body tighten as she clenched around Jeff, which seemed to do it for the both of them.

"Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes oh-."

"Yes, come on Annie, come with me," her arms few up and around Jeff groping his muscular back.

"I'm- I'm coming," Annie whispered breathlessly as she left red angry scratches on his back.

Then it was over. Her game was over, she got what she wanted. And that was Jeff, sweaty and exhausted on top of her naked body.

Harmless.

The only harm was the fact that her scar hurt after they were done. But for whatever reason Jeff made her forget about scar and the hurt that came with it, so much so that when they talked about what they were going to do Annie opted for no relationship and just sex.

At least she didn't have to go to bars to get what she wanted.


She was home alone again. Troy's was out with Britta, and Abed was… She wasn't actually sure where Abed was… but anyway. She was alone, physically and mentally. She had cried about four times that day, because of her mom in the hospital. She tried to tell herself that she didn't care, but she did.

Her tears turned to actual cries, then sobs, then screams.

She was having a panic attack. She fell to the floor, her head ricocheted against the wood but she didn't care. Her steaming hot face welcomed cold floor. Her tears rolled off her face and pooled on the floor.

She screamed for her parents, the one who was mentally ill and the one who was just an angry person with a lot of money. She screamed for her childhood, where she feared both of her parents, where she became addicted to Adderall. And she screamed for herself, for the appalling feelings of emptiness and worthless, for the awful cuts over her body, for the fact that she only feels good when she is with a man or drunk, for the fact that she can't even be in a real relationship, and just for the fact that she's broken.


Jeff made his way down from Annie's chest and stopped at her stomach. His pace was agonizing and he decided to kill time and kiss around her belly button. He stopped suddenly and Annie moaned at the loss.

His pinky finger traced a pink line on her hip, "What's this?" he asked circling it with his finger.

Shit. He noticed. No one was supposed to notice, ever. She didn't know what to do so she just pretended she never heard his question and moaned louder.

"Ugh, Jeff, please," she said rubbing her thighs together.

That proved effective as he made his way between her legs, and soon he forgot what he even asked.

He yelled her name, and she yelled his. He fell on top of Annie then slid off. She shut her eyes trying to regain her breath when she felt his hands running up and down her naked back. She's not going to lie, it felt pretty relaxing but it was feeling a little out of bounds of her. She honestly wanted to go home to her bed, but Jeff's bed was pretty comfortable, so…

She lay on her back and she felt his hands circling a score spot on her rib. Her eyes shot open as she realized that he noticed another one of her scars. Then he kissed it with the lightest gentlest touch.

She felt tears running out of her eyes, not enough for Jeff to notice.

But of course he did.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" he said brushing the tears off of her check.

"Nothing- I should go," she mumbled crawling out of bed.

Before she could go he caught her wrist and pulled her back, "Annie please stay, something's clearly bothering you."

She turned to look at him, a few more tears escaped and then she was actually crying.

"Come here," he said moving the covers and making room for her.

She didn't say anything but crawled into bed with Jeff. She rested against his naked chest and he gently stroked her back and calmed her down.

She had about seven or eight scars on her body, and even though she freaked out whenever Jeff touched one, she felt better. He was taking away the pain. He was the cure, and she wanted so badly for him to guess that these scars were all self inflected, because she wanted help and she wanted him to know, but she couldn't bear to tell him.

She knew she had built a wall between her and everybody, but Jeff was so close to tearing it down and to figuring everything out. To figuring her out.

He played with her hair, drew shapes on her back, and kissed her forehead. He even whispered, "Its okay, I'm here for you," and held her close, all things she was not accustom too. They weren't bad things, in fact they were the opposite. It was just weird.

God, when did Jeff become such a girl?

She drifted into a nice dreamless sleep and sank into his bed and his body. Hours later she woke up, she didn't know the exact time but she knew it was late by the way the moonlight shined into Jeff's single window.

She slowly sat up, this time there was no hangover, but she was only careful to not wake Jeff. She knew her underwear was somewhere in the bed, and decided it wasn't worth looking for. She slipped on her dress and found on shoe and stumbled upon the other.

She froze in her tracks and looked back at Jeff, still sound asleep.

When did she become Jeff? Leaving in the middle of the night, it sounded like a total Jeff move.

She walked to the nightstand and felt around for her phone, she felt a hand grab her wrist.

"Shit!" she jumped, "Oh my god. Jeff, what are you doing?"

"Stopping you," he said gripping her wrist harder.

"Jeff, please let me go," she whispered.

"Annie no, just stay here, okay?"

"No, Jeff I want to go home just let me go, please," he traced tears coming.

"Annie, I'm worried, just sta-" She cut him off kissing him just like she kissed him at the debate years ago. She felt him loosen the grip of his large hand, then she pulled free.

"I'm sorry," she choked out, "really sorry, I'll call you tomorrow okay?" She whispered as she backed up to the door then ran out.

He bolted from the bed beating her to the front door. Grabbing her waist and drawing her close to him, she batted her hands trying to find the strength to break away.

"Jeff!" She screamed, "Let me go!"

"Annie, no! You're in no condition to drive, it's late, and you shouldn't be alone."

"I. DON'T. CARE. LET ME GO!" She kicked him.

Her heart raced, and she felt like she was going to explode. Her tears were falling rapidly from her eyes and her whole body was shaking. He wasn't supposed to see her like this. No one was.

She cried hysterically in his arms and he didn't move despite her efforts.

"Annie no!" He yelled trying to hold her still.

"Please!" She sobbed, "I can't- I have to-" and suddenly he captured her mouth and kissed her at first with fervor then as she calmed down much he kissed her tenderly, her knees buckled and he guided her to the cold wood floor of his apartment. He continued to hold her on the floor, confused as he kissed her, stroked her hair, and wiped away her tears.

He could have kissed her for minutes or hours but he only stopped once she stopped reciprocating and fell asleep on his wood floor. He looked at this broken girl lying on the ground and wondered what the hell even happened. He kissed her once more before he lifted her up and carried her to her bedroom. Perhaps, this "friends with benefits" idea wasn't the best idea they've had. He loved her, he wasn't in love with her, but he did love her somewhere in his heart. And if this relationship was causing her to do this, it was time to stop. He didn't want to be the cause of this.

Little did he know.


"Annie, you know I think you're awesome? Right."

"Ok…"

"And last night-"

"Oh my God, can we just like, not talk about that and forget it ever happened?"

"But it did happen."

"Do you have a point or are you just going to rub this in my face?"

"Annie, I don't think we should do this anymore," he quietly breathed.

She froze.

The one thing that brought her some sort of fulfillment in her life, and she couldn't even do that right.

"Annie…"

"Why?"

"Wh-what?" He asked.

"Why, why shouldn't we do this?"

"Because if I'm what's causing you to be so different and sad all the time, then I don't want to be doing this anymore, okay? I care about you-"

She cut him off, "Jeff, I'm fine."

"Then riddle me this Annie," she hinted at the frustration in his voice. "If you're fine, why won't you tell me what's going on? Why have you changed? Why were you the person who suggested this 'no strings attached' business? Before all of this when I kissed you I tasted bubblegum or I don't know! but now- now I taste vodka, and tequila. You're skirts got shorter and tighter, and you're heels are taller. You're so much thinner, and I can't bear the thought of me being the cause of this, and I wan't old Annie back," He sounded choked up and on the verge of tears, "You're not the same, you're different. You don't show emotion anymore, and when you do you just want to sleep with me or you're crying. You're numb, Annie. So don't tell me that you're fine and you didn't change. I care about you much, I just don't think this is a good idea."

He was right, to an extent. In her grand scheme of things, this was just a way to get attention. She looked down at the bed where she sat as tears feel from her face. He brought his thumb to her chin and tried to lift it until she slapped it away.

"I think you should go," she said calmly.

"Okay," he said getting up from her bed, "I'm always there for you," he added.

"Go. Get out. Just, I'll call you tomorrow or something, just leave."

He silently slipped out of her room and when she thought he left her apartment. Her tears turned into cries which turned to sobs then screams, instead of falling to the floor this time she got up.

Jeff bit his lip as he heard Annie suffering; it was so hard not to interfere. A single tear fell from his eye as he sank to the floor.

Her face was red and her knuckles white; she got up and paced the floor. She wasn't sad as much as she was angry and she needed to hit something. She walked over to her mirror where she saw herself. She was truly broken, her face red, tears flowing from her eyes, but deeper than that she saw a whore, she saw scars, she saw a depressed maniac, she saw a girl well on her way to becoming an alcoholic, she saw her mother inside of her. She saw each one of her demons looking back at her in the mirror.

So she punched it.

Now she was her crazy mother and her angry irrational father.

Jeff jumped at the sound of glass shattering; he bolted to see Annie standing in the corner of her room and by her feet was the broken mirror. She held her bloody hand and her eyes were closed, she almost looked happy and relieved, or even blissful.

"Yes," she whispered as the blood trickled down her arm.

"Oh my God, Annie," he said staring. He walked over and took her bloody hand, then saw the faint red marks on her arm, and then he understood.

He began to cry for her, "Annie, why?"

She didn't say anything but walked sheepishly to Jeff. He engulfed her in a hug and kissed her forehead.

"I had no idea," he whispered, "I'm so sorry."

They stood there for a moment while she covered his shirt in blood and tears.

Both crying, Annie of course harder, he swayed back and forth with her in his arms. He tried to calm her down and it wasn't until he said, "I'm not leaving," did she began to breath normally.


That night, they weren't "lovers" or "friends with benefits" but they were friends who cared deeply about each other, and the only reason his shirt was off of his body was because it was covered in Annie's blood and she used it to tie around her hand. Annie hadn't really asked Jeff to spend the night at her place, nor had he offered to, it was just implied that he would stay the night to comfort her.

After he took a closer look at her hand to make sure that she didn't need stitches, they cleaned up her wound. Like most things, the cut looked worse when blood covered it, when in fact it wasn't that deep and Annie was just very lucky. She wrapped her hand up and then the two went to bed.

"Fan on or off?" Annie asked.

"On," Jeff answered turning down the sheets.

"Good, lamp or pitch black?"

"Pitch black."

She shut the overhead light off and made her way back to the bed. She crawled into her bed as her body accidently brushed up against his.

"Sorry," she mumbled.

"You're fine," he answered.

Jeff and Annie had seen each other naked and slept together, but sleeping together platonically (or however they were going to define this) was more awkward than she thought it would be. They sat in silenced until Jeff, fully of unanswered questions, interrupted.

"Annie?"

"Oh my God, Jeff!" She jumped, "I thought you were sleeping."

"No," he chuckled, "still awake."

"What's up then?"

"Can I ask a question? It's totally okay if you don't want to answer, but-"

"Sure," she interrupted sounding a little more anxious than she meant to.

"How long has this been going on?"

"That night we first hooked up was the day I first did it," realizing the way Jeff probably I that she added, "but it was before we saw each other."

"Why?"

"Honestly I don't know. I mean I do, it's just hard to explain what exactly I was feeling. I guess I was just empty," she sighed, thank God she turned off the lights, she couldn't look at him right now. "My mom is at a mental hospital again, and my dad wants trophy daughter," that was the first time she had ever said anything, and she felt so much better now that it was in the air. "But it's not like it was a lot it was just when I felt lonely, and normally that was when my dad would send me money in hopes that I would call him. Or when I thought about my mom."

Jeff captured Annie's good hand which took her by surprise, "but being with you kinda helped me out, being with you made the loneliness go away for a little bit, and you're like my best friend."

Jeff sighed, "Do you feel lonely now?"

"No, you're here."

Jeff kind of understood. After all his life was no cake walk either, so when Annie said "being with him made the loneliness go away for a little bit," he understood.

"I cut myself once," Jeff sighed.

"You did?" Annie asked more eager than she intended.

"Yeah, I was in the seventh grade."

"Wh-why?"

"Well, you see, I told everyone that I had appendicitis. I only said it so people would care, but my nosy friends were asking to see the scar and I didn't want to get found out, so I made one."

"Oh my god, you were so young though."

"Yeah, well it was worth it because I got a lot of 'feel better' cards."

Annie squeezed his hand tighter and intertwined their fingers, "So I understand Annie, I mean not a whole lot, but to some extent."

Her heart sank for the poor, fatherless, seventh grader; she hugged him and drew her lips to his for a gentle kiss.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, their noses touching.

"Don't be, it's not your problem."

She felt him scoot closer to her, which she didn't really care about. Then she felt his thumb drawing small lazy circles on her hand, "I care about you so much," he said, "and whatever you want I'll try my hardest to give it to you." He wrapped his hands around her engulfing her in a hug that only made Annie feel secure and warm. He kissed her forehead and breathed, "And I know this is probably the worst timing and but-"

"But what?"

"I love you. That's why I wanted to let you go. I thought I was making you so sad and depressed, so that's why I came here tonight."

"But now you know it's not your fault, right?" Annie asked.

"I know, but I know you're dealing with a lot."

"Yeah but you're helping me, a lot."

"Yeah? How's that?"

"You're just there for me."

They sat in silence for a moment before Annie couldn't contain that lump in her throat, "You love me?" she choked out.

"Yes," he said wrapping her up in his arms, "I do," he said swaying her back and forth, and kissing her on the forehead.

"How?"

"How?" he repeated, "Well, you're beautiful. You make me very happy. You're an inspiration. You made getting up every morning to go to Greendale worth it."

He kissed her and lied down with her wrapping his body around hers. He kissed her forehead, "I love you so much," he whispered.

"Jeff?" she mumbled.

"Mmhm?"

"I love you too."

She had gone though so much and was emotionally vacant, Jeff almost didn't believe her until she said: "And if I didn't I wouldn't let you be here right now."

Now he believed her.


She woke up and felt something on her hand tickle, then hurt. She groaned at the pain hoping that would do away with it. When it wouldn't stop, she opened her eyes to see her hand propped up on Jeff's lap.

"Good morning," he said as he diligently as he unwrapped the dried bloody wrap tied to her hand.

"Mornin-" she interrupted herself with a hiss of sharp pain.

"Sorry," Jeff apologized, "This should only hurt for a couple more minutes."

"That's fine, how bad is it?" She asked sitting up a little straighter.

Jeff finally got the makeshift bandage off, "Not bad, the bleeding stopped we just don't want this to get infected."

Jeff took a warm wet washcloth and gently washed off the dry blood of her hand. She averted her eyes to look at Jeff, diligently working on not hurting her. He then got the Gold Bond bottle and piece of gauze and cleaned out her five large cuts.

"Thanks Jeff," she whispered.

"You're welcome," he said setting a piece of gauze then taping it, "tell me if it's too tight."

"It's fine, and what I meant was thank you for last night."

"Anytime, you know you can call me or stop by anytime. Two AM or two PM, doesn't matter, I'm here for you," he said finishing up her bandage, "seriously."

"Thanks Jeff," she smiled, "that means a lot that you would say that."

"Well, I'm serious. I care about you way too much to watch you do this, so anytime," he beamed.

"Thanks Jeff that's- that's very sweet," she said as she tore her eyes away from her bandage up at him into his eyes.

He cupped her jaw and brushed his thumb over her cheek bone, "For you Annie, I would do anything."

He brought his face closer to her and their lips touched so gently and sweetly.

She broke the kiss to hug him tightly, she wasn't letting him go, and she had been so stupid to think that this would hurt her, that any form of affection would hurt her.

He was assaulted with the smell of her coconut shampoo as he rocked her back and forth. He stroked her hair, held her close, and did all he could, all that he didn't do before to help her. They held each other for a moment and it was familiar and safe.

"Oh! I brought you this," he said letting her go and reaching to her night stand and revealed a coffee and a muffin. "I know you like chocolate, so I just got a chocolate latte and a blueberry muffin. You were out of anti-bacterial spray so when I went out to get some I picked up breakfast."

"Thanks Jeff, that's- very thoughtful, thank you."

"I figured you didn't want to go out so."

"Well, you're right," she smiled and drank her coffee.

They sat in silence as they drank/ate their breakfast together on her bed when Annie noticed his shirt covered in blood in her trash can, she looked back at him and laughed, "Is that-"

"Abed's shirt? Yeah. I needed to borrow one before I went out this morning, I was wondering how long it would take before you realized."

There was a graphic design on it that was very Abed and not at all Jeff.

"Where are they by the way?" Jeff inquired.

"Oh they went up to Denver for another one of those convention things."

"Oh, I see. So are you home along today?"

"Yes, but what are your plans for today?"

"None thus far."

"Well if you want, I could use some company today. But it's totally up to you."

"Sure, what did you want to do?"

"Well, I was going to clean up the apartment, but I don't want to put gloves on and deal with cleaning chemicals today. So I don't really know what I want to do."

"Well there's always Netflix," Jeff said taking a bite of his muffin.

"This is true," Annie laughed. She looked out the window at the sun shining in. "I'm sure we'll find something," she said snuggling closer to Jeff. She crumpled up her muffin wrapper and threw it across the room to the almost-full trash can.

"Annie," Jeff began seriously.

"Jeff."

"Are you okay today?"

"I'm not going to lie and say I feel fine, but I'm better."

"Well." Jeff sighed, "Better is better than feeling the same," he kissed the side of her cheek.

She looked over and smiled, "I'm happy because I'm not alone."

Jeff believed her. It's easier to be happy when you're not alone and you're understood. You feel safe. And that's just what Annie felt as she closed her eyes, sighed, and smiled. Jeff kissed her forehead, then her lips. "You're not alone if you have me," he whispered.

She looked up at him through beautifully broken eyes, and it was like the old Annie had never left.


End