A/N: ...I'm depressed. No doubt about it. (I've even been having ...suicidal thoughts...) But, what makes me happy is that I can express what I am feeling though my fiction~! :3 This is what makes my day. No matter what happens, if I am able to read some fan fiction it just brightens my day~! So, on to my ...one-shot?

I don't own Death Note or Tokio Hotel.

Spring Nicht (Don't Jump) ~ Tokio Hotel

I suggest listening to this while reading.


On top of the roof
The air is so cold and so calm

Near looked down at the glowing lights and fallen snow of uptown New York City. He was standing on top of the SPK Headquarters building. Thinking. Thinking about how the day had been. Thinking about what life had been like. Thinking about what life had done to him.

Near stared down to the rushing cars, the paced people, the white snow the glimmered off the city lights. So calm and peaceful it was up here. The car horns only barley audible...

I say your name in silence
You don't want to hear it right now

"Matt..." Near says quietly. "I'm sorry." For what?Near shakes as the wind kicks up, blowing frozen air and snow on him.

The reason he was up here? Matt yelling.... It's not nice... What did I do?

The eyes of the city
Are counting the tears falling down
Each one a promise
Of everything you never found

Near turns to his left, a giant ball of glass sits on top of a nearby building, mocking him. It's New Years' Eve. A large crowd is gathered around, waiting for the last few seconds of the year, waiting to wish it goodbye.

Near looks down the side of his building, a small crowd gathering there. Looking up, pointing.
"There's a 'jummper'." They are probably saying. "Another suicide." "What a pity."
From so high up, Near is still able to point out Lidner, Rester, and Gevanni. They are crowded to the side, praying for their employer to come down, safe.

Near only shakes his head. It's just a lie. They don't care... They just want to get paid...

I scream into the night for you
Don't make it true
Don't jump
The lights will not guide you through
They're deceiving you
Don't jump

Near walks closer to the edge. Half frozen tears are falling from his eyes. He can see a tuft of green hair... Matt.

"...Nee-aarrr!" Near can hear the faint call of someone from the ground. He can see Matt... calling for him. You want me to jump... I know it. You said it yourself earlier...

Don't let memories go of me and you
The world is down there out of view
Please don't jump

Near looks down. Matt's not there. He probably went home. Or went to celebrate...
A light flashes up to Near. A police light, a spot light. They want to catch me as I fall, so they can watch...

Near's mind wanders to earlier that night.
Matt had yelled but... why? What had Near done? What did I do? Near thinks to the other day. Matt's attitude had been different. Happy. Carefree.
Near looked down and saw nothing. Just blackness. The lights, gone. The cars, gone. People, Glass Ball, streets, buildings, gone. Everything goes quiet.

You open your eyes
But you can't remember what for
The snow falls quietly
You just can't hear it no more
Somewhere out there
You lost yourself in your pain
You dream of the end
To start all over again

When did I close my eyes? Near opens his eyes. He instantly regrets it. The spot light is shining near him and more people have crowded around to watch.
Near see the snow fall on his body but, the cold has numbed his senses.

The next thing he knows, Near is standing on the edge. The feeling of ecstasyrunning through him. He can hear a few gasps and a couple cries.
Arms spread like wings, Near lets the winds blow through him. He begins rocking, back and forth, back and forth. Closed eyes and the soothing rhythmic flow... perfect...

I scream into the night for you
Don't make it true
Don't jump
The lights will not guide you through
They're deceiving you
Don't jump
Don't let memories go of me and you
The world is down there out of view
Please don't jump
Don't jump

"Near!" Near hears Matt's voice. The rocking stops and he looks to where to sound comes from. "I'm sorry. Please! I'm sorry! I'm just an idiot! I didn't mean anything I said. I especially didn't mean to make you do this!" Matt pleads. He is holding out his hand, a gesture to step down.

Near looks wearily at the hand. "...Matt has lied before..." Near's eyes are dead. His pale skin emphasizing the fact.

I don't know how long
I can hold you so strong
I don't know how long
Just take my hand and give it a chance
Don't jump

"I'll change. ...I promise. I never want to yell at you again. You don't deserve it. You deserve so much better than me!" Matt cried, tears falling. "You deserve so much better!"

Near blinked softly. "I... I..." Near turns back to the crowd. "I'm sorry..." Near begins rocking again.

I scream into the night for you
Don't make it true
Don't jump
The lights will not guide you through
They're deceiving you
Don't jump
Don't let memories go of me and you
The world is down there out of view
Please don't jump
Don't jump

"No." Matt grabs Near's hand. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have made you feel like this. I shouldn't have made you do this..." Matt steps up to Near, embracing him.

"Matt has promised many times...." Near's eyes glaze over.

"I know.. but, this time..." Matt locks eyes with Near. "This time, I'll prove to you." Matt kisses Near deeply. Near, shocked, tenses but, opens up after a moment.

"I...I-I love Matt."

"And I love you, Near." Matt looks into Nears eyes and smiles lovingly.

And if all that can't hold you back
Then I'll jump for you

"I love you so much. That's why.. I'll prove to you." Matt kisses Near once more before pushing the smaller boy off the platform and back onto the building, causing himself to fall the other way. "I love you." He whispers as he falls.

Near falls to the ground, only seeing Matt's green hair before hearing a sickening splat seconds later. Horrified gasps and cries come from down below. Near shakily gets up and looks over the edge.

He can see red.

Red everywhere.

Near stands back up on the edge. "I forgive you, Matt." He says as he rocks back and forth, back and forth until... He rocks off the edge, plummeting towards Matt.

"I love you, too." Near says as he sees Matt standing amoung the crowd, waiting for him.


..wow... That was horrible... I want to erase this so badly... But, at least I feel better now! :3 I think listening to German music calms my nerves!

I honestly don't know what this is. What did Matt do t Near that made him want to jump??? I don't know! And the whole Matt falling to save Near and Near jummping after him... I don't know where that came from but, I would probably do that for a loved one if I had to.

Review please? I would very much like to hear your comments on this piece. They will help me feel even better~!