Summary - The most clichéd fic EVER! Read and laugh at the world with us. It's not intended to be any good! PS. This has nothing to do with Britney Spears.
Please read our bio before reading this: it tells you all you need to know about this, and us.
Disclaimer: Don't own anything except Mary-Sue-Elizabeth Parker-Jones-Smythe.
Harry Potter, Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley were coming back to Hogwarts for a new year.
'A new year for a new you, I always say,' said Hermione happily as they walked towards the train.
Suddenly they saw Her. She had long, flowing, beautiful golden hair, which caught the light and sparkled like diamonds as she skipped joyfully towards the train, showing off her womanly curves. Harry and Ron drooled.
Hermione said, 'Oh, pur-lease!' She flicked her enormous bushy hair and took out twenty-five books. 'Light reading,' she sighed, and buried her long, twisted nose into a book.
'Wow, that girl sure is beautiful,' said Harry.
'Oh yes. Bloody hell! Wicked!' agreed Ron.
Suddenly the girl turned around. Her beautiful sapphire orbs were like pools of blue in her dainty, porcelain face. Her lips were like rubies, glistening in the sunlight.
'Excuse me,' she said, her voice as sweet and soft as a bird's song, 'What is the way to the train?'
'It's right there!' snapped Hermione, 'It's at least 40 metres long, how DUMB are you?'
'That's mean!' cried the girl, and she burst into tears, which flowed down her cheeks, each one like a glittering drop of sunlight as the rays reflected off it, giving it a radiant glow. Harry and Ron both went next to the girl.
'Bloody hell! Hermione, that was not wicked!" yelled Ron.
'What's your name, sweetie?' asked Harry.
'I am Mary-Sue-Elizabeth Parker-Jones-Smythe, but you can call me Mary-Sue or Elizabeth, your choice,' replied the girl.
'Wicked! Bloody hell, that is a beautiful name!' exclaimed Ron.
'Thank you. What is your name?' asked Mary-Sue.
'I'm Harry, and this is Ron,' said Harry.
'I'm an American exchange student. I'm scared of getting lost,' whimpered Mary-Sue.
'Don't worry, we will look after you!' said Harry.
'Bloody hell, Mary-Sue, we're going to have a wicked time!' added Ron.
'I would rather be by myself than with that vermin! She is obviously a blundering fool,' snapped Hermione, pointing her twisted, crooked, bony finger at Mary-Sue.
'Then be by yourself!' yelled Harry, and Hermione walked off, her bushy hair knocking over her cat, Crookshanks, so he scratched her shoulder.
'Sorry about our old friend,' sighed Ron, 'Bloody hell! She is NOT wicked today!'
'Where do we sit? Is it set seats?' asked Mary-Sue innocently.
'Oh no, come sit with us!' said Harry, and so the trio went into the train. Hermione watched from a distance and sighed. Then she went back to her reading.
We hope you enjoyed this!
may-ri-soooo
