The night grew cold, cold enough to freeze even the warmest of hearts. The
rain hammered at the window and the howling wind whistled through the few
lonely trees left standing from the constant storms.
Chrissie pulled the blanket around her and huddled back up on the sofa, the fire crackling happily before her, casting an orange glow around the darkened room. The tears fell from her hurting blue eyes and trickled down her cheeks continually as she listened to the same song over again.
Another year older
A little bit stronger
A little bit wiser than a year ago today
Looking over my shoulder
I was so much younger then
I can't believe what happened
A year ago today
She still loved him, as the time passed away the pain didn't lessen, and the longing in her heart grew stronger, if only she could have grown stronger herself. She didn't mean for any of it to have happened, it just did and she let him slip away so easily. She could have fought for him, could have showed her she was commited to making it work, but just like her she stood in the sidelines and watched everything slip away. If she could have turn back the clocks she would, but she knew that things would never have been the same.
She could still feel the his warm breath on the back of her neck as he slept beside her, still see that adoring look in his eyes. She never stopped loving him, ever, and it had been the hardest thing she had ever had to do but at the time it had seemed right. She put her arms around her waist, hugging herself in the cold just wishing she was in his arms instead. When she had been in his arms it was like nothing else mattered, as if she was safe from everything that could hurt her in the world, but it was all foolishness. She thought at one point that maybe she would have been better off cold and lonely, that way she couldn't get hurt, but over time it sunk in that its not the way she wanted to be.
She had tried so desperately to deny it to herself that she loved him, she had managed to deny it to everyone but deep inside something was telling her that she loved him more than anything else.
She smiled as she lie down onto the sofa, the warmth of the fire soothing her in her darkest hour. She had kept up a smile back then too, walked around in a façade of confidence, but that was all it had been, a façade. She didn't really want to walk around with a grin on her face and an air of confidence about her, if she had had a choice she would have curled up in front of the fire forever and cried every moment of her life.
She couldn't keep Owen off her mind every second of the day, no matter how much she wanted to. When you can't stop thinking about someone, and all you breathe is them, all you dream about is them its then that you know its love, but when you are deprived of that privilege, the privilege of love, its nothing more than deprivation. And she felt that she was being deprived of his love, she loved him more than anything else and yet she still managed to throw it all away carelessly.
She got up and stood by the window, shivering as the night grew colder still, and looked out over the whole of Holby, so many memories of the two of them fresh in her memory. No one could take away the memories or the love she had for him, no one and nothing for as long as she lived. She turned around and looked back at the couch were memories came flooding back to her of lying down with him in that very spot, he head in his lap, and talking about everything and anything.
"I'll never forget you, just remember we all make mistakes and only the lucky ones get to correct them, let me be a lucky one." She whispered as she sunk to the floor, putting her head in her hands and sobbing her heart out.
Sometimes it is too late to go back on things, sometimes.
Chrissie pulled the blanket around her and huddled back up on the sofa, the fire crackling happily before her, casting an orange glow around the darkened room. The tears fell from her hurting blue eyes and trickled down her cheeks continually as she listened to the same song over again.
Another year older
A little bit stronger
A little bit wiser than a year ago today
Looking over my shoulder
I was so much younger then
I can't believe what happened
A year ago today
She still loved him, as the time passed away the pain didn't lessen, and the longing in her heart grew stronger, if only she could have grown stronger herself. She didn't mean for any of it to have happened, it just did and she let him slip away so easily. She could have fought for him, could have showed her she was commited to making it work, but just like her she stood in the sidelines and watched everything slip away. If she could have turn back the clocks she would, but she knew that things would never have been the same.
She could still feel the his warm breath on the back of her neck as he slept beside her, still see that adoring look in his eyes. She never stopped loving him, ever, and it had been the hardest thing she had ever had to do but at the time it had seemed right. She put her arms around her waist, hugging herself in the cold just wishing she was in his arms instead. When she had been in his arms it was like nothing else mattered, as if she was safe from everything that could hurt her in the world, but it was all foolishness. She thought at one point that maybe she would have been better off cold and lonely, that way she couldn't get hurt, but over time it sunk in that its not the way she wanted to be.
She had tried so desperately to deny it to herself that she loved him, she had managed to deny it to everyone but deep inside something was telling her that she loved him more than anything else.
She smiled as she lie down onto the sofa, the warmth of the fire soothing her in her darkest hour. She had kept up a smile back then too, walked around in a façade of confidence, but that was all it had been, a façade. She didn't really want to walk around with a grin on her face and an air of confidence about her, if she had had a choice she would have curled up in front of the fire forever and cried every moment of her life.
She couldn't keep Owen off her mind every second of the day, no matter how much she wanted to. When you can't stop thinking about someone, and all you breathe is them, all you dream about is them its then that you know its love, but when you are deprived of that privilege, the privilege of love, its nothing more than deprivation. And she felt that she was being deprived of his love, she loved him more than anything else and yet she still managed to throw it all away carelessly.
She got up and stood by the window, shivering as the night grew colder still, and looked out over the whole of Holby, so many memories of the two of them fresh in her memory. No one could take away the memories or the love she had for him, no one and nothing for as long as she lived. She turned around and looked back at the couch were memories came flooding back to her of lying down with him in that very spot, he head in his lap, and talking about everything and anything.
"I'll never forget you, just remember we all make mistakes and only the lucky ones get to correct them, let me be a lucky one." She whispered as she sunk to the floor, putting her head in her hands and sobbing her heart out.
Sometimes it is too late to go back on things, sometimes.
