It looked so much longer when I wrote it out long hand. Sad day, batman. In any event, this was just a little one shot that has been plaguing my brain since I saw the episode with Haley's murder.
Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing.
"Elle," Aaron Hotchner opened his door to see his former co-worker standing on his stoop with a bottle of Jack Daniels in hand, "what are you doing here?"
"Good to see you too stranger." She offered him a small smile and looked up at him through her eye lashes.
"Sorry," He shook his head with a chuckle, "It's good to see you; come in."
She smiled and stepped in around him, "Morgan called… he told me about what happened with Haley…"
"Oh…"
"He mentioned you had been having a rough go of it," Her hand rested comfortingly on his forearm, "said you could use a friend."
"I could always use a friend," He led her into the living room and moved to the kitchen to grab two tumblers, "What have you been up to?"
"Not a lot," Elle admitted as she tucked a leg under her and turned to face him, "Bartending in DC. Working through the mess I made of things."
He smiled and poured a generous amount of the amber liquid for each of them, "You do look a lot better than the last time I saw you."
"Less crazy?" She smirked.
"You were never crazy," He placed a hand on her thigh in reassurance, "just a little messed up from the shooting."
"If you say so," She placed a hand over his and squeezed the tips of his finger gently, "but what about you?"
"I am… I am hanging in there," He spoke softly, "Jack is having a hard time with it. He keeps asking when his mommy is coming home and I have to keep telling him that she lives in heaven now."
"Poor little man," She frowned and looked around the living room, "I know y'all were having a hard time with things… but you guys really loved each other."
"Yeah," His throat tightened and he took a large gulp of the whiskey before he continued, "I loved her and I couldn't save her."
"Hotch," Elle's brows furrowed, "You saved Jack. You saved the most important part of her."
"It's not enough."
"I know…" She whispered, "you're allowed to break, Aaron."
"Elle…"
"Aaron, you are allowed to hurt," She took his hand; her thumb traced over his knuckles as she spoke, "if you don't let the anger out, the sadness… Jack is the one who will suffer and Haley's legacy will fade. You have to let yourself feel."
Tears pooled in his eyes as his head bowed. Her arm wrapped around his shoulders and she pulled him close. As his forehead brushed her shirt the tears fell freely. His shoulder shook as he sobbed silently. Her fingers ran through his hair as the other hand traced circles on his back.
For the first time since he head found Haley's body he allowed himself to give into his emotions. He allowed himself to feel every ounce of anger and hurt; to cry for the injustice and that his son would have to grow up with only faint memories of his mother - if any at all.
Elle held him until he cried himself to sleep and his body gave into the obvious exhaustion. Slowly, she moved and tucked him into the couch, covering him with the afghan tossed across the back. She dumped their glasses in the sink and put the whiskey away. She checked on Jack and used the facilities before curling into the arm chair. She would stay there until the Hotchner boys awoke and she would make sure they were squared away before leaving.
Hotch had always been there for her from bad cases to sleepless nights plagued with memories of her father's murder. He had been her best friend, her confidant in the midst of chaos. Now it was her turn, her turn to repay the favor.
