A/N: Ok, my first foray into fan fiction. I've been writing for a while but wanted to try my hand at something different, so here I am. Please let me know what you think. I'll probably have to change a few things around as I get the hang of the site and the layout and so on . . . please be patient whilst I figure out how to do everything!


Prologue

It was all she could do not to throw herself at him. Tears stained her cheeks, her heart beat wildly, but her hands were steady.

'You keep telling me no, then yes, and then you do something like this. How am I supposed to feel?' Her voice had shaken and wobbled, but her point was made.

'I know,' he began, his voice wavering too, 'I know I've been giving off mixed signals, but I'm finding this just as difficult as you are.' She almost choked on the astounded laugh that escaped her chest.

'Really? I doubt that very much.' She crossed her arms pointedly over her chest and flicked her long, dark hair over her shoulder. He watched her and felt his heart begin to race. He wanted her, he really did, in every way conceivable. But it couldn't be; it just couldn't.

She looked at him, the way she tilted her head a little to the side and parted her lips was like a sideways blow so it took all of his strength to stay the course.

'This is the way is has to be, we both know that, so let's just accept that and move forward shall we?'

She looked at him and nodded briskly before she spun on her heel and stalked away. Tears burned her eyes but she fought them all the way back to her car. She turned the key in the ignition before they finally spilled down her cheeks. As she pulled out of the car park, past his car, she felt her heart shatter into a million tiny, irretrievable pieces.

Darkness had fallen, the last of the October sunshine having been pushed away so that a blanket of pale stars could take its place. Aria stared out of her bedroom window, seeing nothing. Warm under the thick, purple blanket she had cocooned herself in, she began to feel her eyes close. She wanted sleep to come, to take her away. There was nothing left in her, nothing left to cry out, but the pain was still unbearable. Perhaps sleep would help. Perhaps it wouldn't.

She woke to the sounds of yet another argument. Her parents fought daily about everything and nothing, with seemingly no thought for the others in the household. Aria released a heavy sigh and rubbed wearily at her eyes. It crashed in on her then, as her parents angry words floated up the stairs so Ezra's words slammed themselves back into her brain. She felt the tears again, their prickling and burning, and she began to shake. Closing her eyes as the sobs took over she tried to fight images of Ezra from appearing. That first time they had met, that first conversation, that first kiss. Her heart, not yet beginning to heal, began to tug itself out of her chest. She picked up her phone and began to tap a desperate message, deleting and re-tapping as the right words failed to pour out of her, failed to come to her. Angry and lost she tossed the phone onto her bed and turned back to the window to watch the dawn.

Ezra lay on his bed, hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling. He had lain that way for nearly four hours but still sleep evaded him. He knew he was right, nothing could ever come of this thing that was happening, had happened, nothing could ever be. Still, his heart wanted what it wanted, and what it wanted was Aria. He sighed again and forced his eyes closed even though images of her haunted him. Her eyes, staring up at him so desperately, her shoulders as they tightened with each word he had spoken. Sitting up, he threw the covers away angrily and stalked over to his desk. The tiny apartment good for one thing only, helping him reach his goal more quickly. He grabbed the phone and began to press the keys, words of apology and regret and changed minds – but he sent none of them. Dejectedly he slumped onto the sofa and let the phone fall away. He couldn't say those words, couldn't think those thoughts, he would simply have to stay true to his word and suffer the consequences.

Wednesday morning broke though the sky remained grey and the air damp with drizzle. Aria dressed without thought and wandered downstairs wearily. Sleep never returned and she had simply stared at the breaking dawn enviously. How could the world start all over again when she was simply stuck? Her mother, Ella, stared stonily into her coffee cup and barely noticed her daughter's appearance. Anger over yesterday's argument and exhaustion from another sleepless night had left her closed off and bitter. Aria sat at the table quietly and sipped at her coffee even though she couldn't taste it. Her silence was unusual and Ella raised her head, meeting Aria's eyes briefly. She tipped her head to the side and looked at Aria's pale face, at her red rimmed eyes and sighed.

'Boy trouble,' she said knowingly.

Aria just nodded.

'I know how you feel,' Ella said with a sigh, before emptying her mug into the sink and racking it in the dishwasher. She walked away quietly, leaving Aria to her thoughts.

Aria's brother, Mike, babbled enthusiastically about some game from the night before as she drove them to school. Her beat up Toyota, a gift from her Dad, rattled and hummed as they drove. Oblivious to his sister's pain, Mike prattled on before leaping out of the car before it truly had a chance to stop. With barely a thank you he shot off into the throng of students making their way into Rosewood Academy's hallways. Aria stared at the entrance and felt a lump rise in her throat. Could she really face going in there? Could she really sit in that room and watch Ezra without falling apart? Suddenly, a tapping on the window startled her out of her reverie and she stared up at the window. Spencer, kitted out in a plain knitted sweater and a tweed skirt, looked back warily at her friend.

'You coming?' she asked, gesturing towards school with an armful of folders. Aria nodded and stepped slowly out of the car, locking it behind her and wishing with every fibre of her being that she could just stay there forever.

'What's wrong?' Spencer asked, concern lacing her words. Aria shrugged wearily, not wanting to discuss what had happened yesterday or even a few weeks ago. Spencer's eyebrows knitted together as she watched her friend trudge into school.

'Look, I'm here when you're ready to talk,' she said kindly. 'At least we have AP English first, you love that class, that'll cheer you up!' Spencer playfully nudged Aria who could only smile weakly, all the while realising just how hard this morning was truly going to be.

They both settled behind the wooden desks and pulled their books from their bags. They both looked up as the final bell rang and the door at the front of the room closed softly. They both watched as their teacher strolled stiffly towards the board and wrote the date and subject of the lesson that day. Both watched as he turned to the class to begin speaking. But only Aria noticed his face, ashen and pale, eyes rimmed in red just like her own and, even though she felt dreadful to even think it, Aria felt relieved that it hadn't been so easy for him either.

Ezra looked across the room and intentionally avoided Aria's seat, her face, her eyes. Forcing himself to stay on task, he introduced the lesson and talked without animation about the book they were studying. Finally though, when each student buried their nose in the text and began to work on the assigned task, he allowed himself to look at her. She rested her forehead on her left palm, her hair falling like a curtain to separate herself from most of the other students in the room, and she stared at the page in front of her. He knew nothing was going in, that she wasn't seeing the words in front of her, and he felt anguish he never thought he could. Still, staying away from each other was the best, and only, course of action. It had to be done. He turned away and began to write on the board, though he could feel her behind him, feel her breaking.