Diane smiled gently, another year and she was still going strong, she'd had
her ups and downs, but she was still there. Looking back into the past it
seemed almost trivial what she had done, but it seemed right at the time.
She sipped back the wine as she remembered those few dark lonely hours on
Christmas Eve.
The tears rolled gently down her cheeks as she watched the fire flickering in its grate. Nothing in the world mattered to her anymore, her whole life had been shattered and her heart bled in silent pain. She turned on some music, if only to calm her thoughts and offer her some consolation in her last hour.
Deep inside she didn't want to do it, but it seemed the only way out, the only escape from everything that lie around her in ruins. As far as she was concerned, it was her against the world, and she just couldn't take everything on at once. She had crawled into a dark and lonely place, and there was no way out, not anywhere, and she'd given up the struggle of clawing her way out. She'd given up all hope of things turning around as everyone says they will.
"This is the end," she whispered, she said it just to be sure of herself, thus making sure it was really what she wanted. And she had recently concluded that it was.
She reached forward for the medicine bottle upon the side and tipped the contents into her mouth, swallowing it down with some wine. She panicked at that moment, knowing that there was no going back, and she really had done it, she'd just taken her own life.
She hesitated for a second before sitting in the corner and drawing his picture close to her. She wanted; at least, to not be alone for her last moments, being alone for the end didn't seem right. She hadn't expected to feel so bad about it, not really. But as she sat there, the tears streaming from her eyes, she just wanted to undo everything she had just built the courage to do. She knew there was nothing she could do; there was no way of turning back time. As she sat there in the darkened room she attempted to console herself in the fact that it would all be okay in the end. but for whom?
So much rushed into her mind that it confused her all the more; what if she did want to go back, who would save her from the point of no return? She looked down into the picture placed in her lap and she almost smiled, not even he could save her. There was no one to save her from herself anymore; she was so afraid, so distraught. She was quite sure she didn't want him too; she'd made her decision, why else would she have got that far?
"Where are you Ric?" She called out, the anguish inside of her sounding in her voice, "I need you Ric, please."
Outside the night grew darker and her sobs became quieter, slowly she began to slip away into the darkness. Her heart bled and her mind was clouded with fear and depression, it seemed the right idea not so long ago so why didn't it now? She knew why it was though, when she really thought about it, she didn't know what it would be like then, she didn't need to reflect on her entire life then, only the bad bits.
Her eyes closed upon the bedroom and she felt herself drifting away, she'd lost all will to fight it, all will to carry on. She gripped tighter to the photograph and allowed the last tears to fall before admitting defeat to her own mistake.
The tears rolled gently down her cheeks as she watched the fire flickering in its grate. Nothing in the world mattered to her anymore, her whole life had been shattered and her heart bled in silent pain. She turned on some music, if only to calm her thoughts and offer her some consolation in her last hour.
Deep inside she didn't want to do it, but it seemed the only way out, the only escape from everything that lie around her in ruins. As far as she was concerned, it was her against the world, and she just couldn't take everything on at once. She had crawled into a dark and lonely place, and there was no way out, not anywhere, and she'd given up the struggle of clawing her way out. She'd given up all hope of things turning around as everyone says they will.
"This is the end," she whispered, she said it just to be sure of herself, thus making sure it was really what she wanted. And she had recently concluded that it was.
She reached forward for the medicine bottle upon the side and tipped the contents into her mouth, swallowing it down with some wine. She panicked at that moment, knowing that there was no going back, and she really had done it, she'd just taken her own life.
She hesitated for a second before sitting in the corner and drawing his picture close to her. She wanted; at least, to not be alone for her last moments, being alone for the end didn't seem right. She hadn't expected to feel so bad about it, not really. But as she sat there, the tears streaming from her eyes, she just wanted to undo everything she had just built the courage to do. She knew there was nothing she could do; there was no way of turning back time. As she sat there in the darkened room she attempted to console herself in the fact that it would all be okay in the end. but for whom?
So much rushed into her mind that it confused her all the more; what if she did want to go back, who would save her from the point of no return? She looked down into the picture placed in her lap and she almost smiled, not even he could save her. There was no one to save her from herself anymore; she was so afraid, so distraught. She was quite sure she didn't want him too; she'd made her decision, why else would she have got that far?
"Where are you Ric?" She called out, the anguish inside of her sounding in her voice, "I need you Ric, please."
Outside the night grew darker and her sobs became quieter, slowly she began to slip away into the darkness. Her heart bled and her mind was clouded with fear and depression, it seemed the right idea not so long ago so why didn't it now? She knew why it was though, when she really thought about it, she didn't know what it would be like then, she didn't need to reflect on her entire life then, only the bad bits.
Her eyes closed upon the bedroom and she felt herself drifting away, she'd lost all will to fight it, all will to carry on. She gripped tighter to the photograph and allowed the last tears to fall before admitting defeat to her own mistake.
