Disclaimer: All characters belong to Joss Whedon – I'm just borrowing them.

Notes: Set during season 1 of Angel and the episode entitled To Shanshu In LA, when Cordelia's mind was opened to continual visions. Based on the notion that there was only one thing keeping her sane …

Depending on how this goes, it may be the first in a three part series about Cordelia and her problematic visions – the second and third parts dealing with the episodes from season 3, That Vision Thing and Birthday. But we'll see …


SAVING SANITY

"Where is she?!"

The cool, still calm of the hospital was shattered without pause for ceremony by the crash of the door being thrown back to make way for the headlong flight of the figure dressed in black. Against the backdrop of sterile whiteness, he was starkly out of place and yet neither noticed nor cared. He paused only to gauge the best source of information and then dashed to the reception desk, startling the young woman stationed behind it.

"Cordelia. Cordelia Chase – where is she?" he demanded urgently, his manner alone enough to fluster the receptionist.

"I … I'll check … Are you family?" she asked, protocol almost forgotten until the last second.

A beat. Barely. "Yes, now tell me where she is!" A fist crashed down impatiently and the woman visibly flinched before hastily turning to the computer screen before her.

She typed with a speed that suggested an efficiency would existence had nerves not taken over and caused her to err, yet it was not enough to appease the man before her even for a second. He waited, seeming poised for her answer with a tension that was all too tangible. The woman scanned the information before her and, with a feeling of growing dread, looked up with something in her eyes that could have been sympathy beneath the blatant fear.

"I … I'm sorry, sir, but you c-can't …"

"What's wrong with her? Cordelia? CORDELIA!" he yelled desperately, determined that he would find her, with or without assistance.

"Sir, please … you can't …"

But the woman's weak stammering was in vain as the man shoved past orderlies and doctors alike in his search. And then the screams drowned her out completely.

"Cordelia!?"

Now as close to frantic as the usually stoic man got, he charged down an otherwise quiet corridor, following the agonised screaming until he reached its source. Full of dread at what he might find, he paused at the door of the private room but only for a second.

The sight struck him instantly.

Cordelia Chase – former Little Miss Popularity of Sunnydale and now wannabe movie star – tethered to a hospital bed for the sake of her own wellbeing, writhing and crying out in torment.

The vampire had seen a lot of terrible things in his time – few were so hard to witness.

"What's happened to her?" he asked sharply of the now cowering doctors still in the room.

"We … We don't know …" one ventured, "She came in like this … We've tried everything, but we don't know what's causing it … We thought we might try a psych consult …"

"Get out."

His curt order was readily adhered to, but that was already irrelevant as he had already transferred his full attention to the young woman before him. Slowly, he moved closer and reached out to grasp her shoulders firmly. Using as much strength as he dared without risking hurting her, he couldn't quite still her thrashing body and he was lost for what to do.

"Cordy?" he said, all anger and frustration faded from his voice to be replaced by an unusually soft tone. "Cordy, it's me – it's Angel. I'm here and it's gonna be okay … I'm gonna fix this – I PROMISE …"

But she still tossed and turned violently, her cries never ceasing and he could only despair – how could he fix something when he didn't even know what was wrong?

tbc