I wanted to write this in memory of my mother (10/15/66-01/05/00). She passed away just 21 days before hers and my step-dad's anniversary and 24 days before my birthday.
Yugi: PhantomBrat just located the file containing the lyrics to "I Will Not Say Goodbye" by Danny Gokey.
Noah: She has no legal claim to Yu-Gi-Oh or Danny Gokey's song.
Bakura: If you hate emotional stories, LEAVE! I for one, would rather this burn.
Stuff it Sir Dustyfarts! I don't care what you think.
Yami: I think that it's ok, for the most part.
Thank you.
Ryou: I do hope that everyone who reads this will leave a comment for PhantomBrat. However, this is up to you, the reader to do so.
Malik: Remember that anonymous reviews have been disabled.
Notes:
Text=Yugi
Text=Ryou
Text=Malik
Text=lyrics
Sometimes the road just ends
It changes everything you've been
I watched as Yami headed through the doorway that would take him to his family and friends from Ancient Egypt and out of our lives forever. My brother, best friend, secret-keeper, and other half had left me, us, to go back to those that he had known so long ago.
He had left me. My brother, my 'protector'. We had our differences, he being unstable due to another's influence and the revenge that he wanted for the loss of his own family. Sure he had allowed me harm, but he never tried to kill me. I was alone again.
I felt empty,alone.He had been defeated and then left with the other Darks. Though created from my own anger, he was the twin that I never had.He was someone that knew what I was feeling,was thinking.He was my other half, split from my own person that dark day when I was old enough to continue the duties of my clan. It was my fault that he was unstable, but I had tried to help him after Battle City when he returned.
And all that's left to be
Is empty, broken, lonely, hopin'
That was two years ago. Shortly after that, everyone drifted apart and went their separate ways. Tea left for America for her dreams, Joey and Mai were engaged, Duke and Tristan were still trying to get Serenity to date them, Seto and Mokuba had expanded KaibaCorp. They never called or wrote to see how I was doing. They had forgotten about our friendship.
My family was torn apart once more. First my mother and sister are gone, never to return. My father leaves me here to live on my own with a monthly allotment for bills and necessities. Now he's gone.
I felt as if I had failed myself and my remaining family that sad day.
I'm supposed to be strong
I'm supposed to find a way to carry on
Ryou, Malik, and I were still the only ones that stayed together. We felt so empty after the yamis left. Grandpa allowed them to move into the empty room next to my own.
Yugi's grandfather had me and Malik move into their house. He feels that we need to be watched and that we can be there for each other.
Sister and Odion took Solomon's offer and sent me here to stay with him and the other two hikaris. This was for the best, I guess. We were all that we had left of our others.
I don't wanna feel better
I don't wanna not remember
We tried so hard to hold on to the memories of being with our Darks. The three of us would talk late into the night, just to keep those memories alive. We saw them and each other as brothers.
We are there for each other, speaking of our Darks and the past that we shared. We view our yamis as brothers and friends. We vowed never to forget them or each other.
We shared what memories we had of our darks, our perceived brothers. We had become brothers in our pain and in our despair.
I will always see your face
In the shadows of this haunted place
I couldn't go anywhere after a while. I kept seeing Yami in everything I did. I'd go to BurgerWorld and thought I had seen him out of the corner of my eye. When I turned to see if he was really there, there was nothing.
I had to renege on the lease for the apartment. I saw Bakura everywhere. I couldn't go back. I feared for my own safety. Had I stayed, it would have caused me anguish.
After I moved here, I stayed indoors and away from anyone not of the Mutou household. I wanted to be with my 'brothers' and no one else.
I will laugh
I will cry
Shake my fist at the sky
But I will not say goodbye
I rarely laughed these days. None of us hikaris did. There wasn't anything bright for us anymore.
There was nothing to be happy for anymore. All our 'friends' had left us behind. We only had each other for support.
We found nothing to be cheerful about. Ra knows we've tried. Everything reminds us of them.
They keep saying time will heal
But the pain just gets more real
Grandpa had taken us to see a grief councilor,but we were released as we were deemed safe. All we had to do was go to a few sessions and go through a mental evaluation before they felt that we wouldn't harm ourselves.Like we would do something so idiotic to end our lives.The three of us had made a promise not to damage ourselves that way.
We were taken to a grief councilor as a precaution. This was six months after they left for their pasts. We had been to a few sessions before being released. Before each one, we were checked for self-inflicted cuts.As we weren't that desperate, or into self-harm, we were released.
I was shocked that we were sent to a councilor for our depression. I guess that those that were still there for us felt that it was needed.This didn't continue for very long.We weren't that weak-willed.We vowed never to fall that low.
The sun comes up each day
Finds me waiting, fading, hating, praying
Every morning, we would sit on the roof watching the sunrise over the treetops. We would also be there to watch it set. We never said much, rarely speaking to others outside our little circle.
We began the near daily ritual of watching the sun rise and set. We rarely spoke these days. But we could feel the others' pains.
I look forward to two things during the day, watching the rise and fall of the sun. Just sitting on the roof with my brothers gives a feeling of comfort. I say very little much these days.
If I can keep on holding on
Maybe I can keep my heart from knowing that you're gone
I tried to deny that Yami was gone, that he had lost the Duel that sent him back. I wanted to believe that he was on a long trip and would return. We all wanted to believe that our 'brothers' would come back and never leave.
I wanted so badly to tell 'Kura that I'd forgiven him for the pain thatI'dgonethroughbecauseofhim.That I couldn't blame him. Now I can't.
I wanted to beg my darkness, my other half,to stay. I wanted to tell him that I had forgiven him.
I don't wanna feel better
I don't wanna not remember
Just last month, I was in the hospital. I hadn't been feeling too well. The doctors can't explain it.
We were taken to the hospital last month. Something was wrong, is wrong with us and there's nothing that can be explained.
Neither of us were doing so well lately. The doctors at the hospital couldn't explain what was going on with us. Nothing looks good for us. How do you tell your sister that you're sick?
I will always see your face
In the shadows of this haunted place
Grandpa has been trying to get me to Duel at least one more time, just to allow someone else the title of the 'King of Games'. But I refuse. That was Yami's title, not mine. I will not give up something that never was mine to give up.
Yugi's grandfather has asked that he Duel one last time to allow another to take up the title that we had long ago agreed was the Pharaoh's and not something to be 'passed on'.
I heard Mr. Mutou asking Yugi to pass the title earned him by the Pharaoh by having one last Duel. Yugi replied, stating that the title is not his to pass on.
I will laugh
I will cry
Shake my fist at the sky
But I will not say goodbye
I called the one person that could reach the others, Ishizu. I asked her to pass on a message. I didn't want to tell any of the others goodbye through another. She said that she'd call them right away.
We had made the choice to try to tell the others. Yugi called Ishizu to have her call the others and ask them to contact us somehow.We doubted that they'd remember us after two years.
We asked Sister to call the others and ask that they contact us so that we could say our goodbyes. We had thought not to let them know, but after a few hours we decided that it was best that they knew.
I will curse
I hung up, feeling awful that I'd made that call.
I felt Yugi's disgust after the call. I felt bad for not making the call myself.
I felt horrible. I let my best friend make the call to my sister. I wanted to call her back and say goodbye, but I knew that she'd stop by later to say her goodbyes in person. Oh, Ra! I'm so sorry Sister! I don't want to hurt you and Odion.
I will pray
I prayed that they'd forgive me this. That they wouldn't be angry at me for this.
I prayed that my father would find the strength to move on. He's the last of our family left. I forgave him for leaving me alone for so long, a long time ago.
I hoped that this wouldn't hurt Sister and Odion for too long. I know that they had forgiven me for allowing my hatred and anger to form a physical body.
I'll relive everyday
I relived the day that Yami left for the afterlife. I tried to imagine what life would have been like had he and the other darks stayed.
I remembered the day that I received the Ring, his Ring. I was never so frightened in my life. But the day he left, left my heart shattered. More than when my mother and sister left.
I'll never forget the day that Marik was given his existence. It was my birthday as well as his. I had gotten the twin brother I had always wanted.
I will shoulder the blame
I blame myself daily for playing Gold Sarcophagus. I wish I'd never played that card.
I had blamed myself for not telling 'Kura that I loved him as a brother and that I didn't' want him to leave me as so many before had.
I blamed myself for not showing Marik that he was wanted. Not as an acquaintance or a friend; but as family, as a brother.
I'll shout out your name
I had woken up crying for Yami, and wound up waking my brothers-in-grief. This happened almost nightly, one of us calling out for our other halves and waking each other. We barely got any sleep this way, but we managed.
We seemed to have alternated nights, calling for our other selves and waking for the others' nightly cries for their darks.
I didn't mind if Yugi or Ryou called out for the Pharaoh or the Thief King, so long as we were able to comfort each other afterwards. They were there for me on the nights I called out for Marik. I feel as they do.
I will laugh
I will cry
Shake my fist at the sky
The others showed up on the doorstep and Grandpa let them in. They were worried. I could hear it in his voice when Joey asked why they were there. Grandpa showed them into our room. I can't bear to look them in the eye. I fear I will cry, but have little energy left. But they should know what's going on. What do you say at a time like this?
Our former friends have shown up after abandoning us for two years. Yugi can't look at them for fear of breaking down. I have not the strength to cry anymore. They need to know.
Tea's broken down crying at the mere sight of us. Are we that bad off that she had to cry like that? I feel so tired. But we need to tell them.
But I will not say
Will not say goodbye
We told them what the doctors told us and they broke down. Joey swears that they'd spend more time withus.I turned them down. I told them that we had only days left.
Not days. It feels like less time than that. I can't bear the tears rolling down their faces.
Sister had arrived shortly after the others. Odion is with her. Dear Ra, she's trembling! Please help her and the others while we're gone.
Will not say goodbye
Tea:
Yugi, Ryou, and Malik stopped breathing shortly after saying goodbye to us all, just seconds after the other. Malik was the first to go, then Ryou and Yugi. I felt like something had been driven into my soul.
Joey:
My little pal had stopped breathing as we watched them sleep. He and the other two had passed out after saying goodbye. I should have spent more time with them. Mai was always after me about that and I see that she was right.
Tristan:
I watched as Solomon wept over Yugi's still body and Ishizu over Malik's. Ryou had no one to mourn him.
Duke:
My one time rival and first real friend was gone! He had shown me that gaming was not meant to be a means of revenge and that they were meant to be for fun.
Serenity:
My brother had broken down at the sight of his friend's passing. I barely knew Yugi, save for a few adventures. Had it not been for him, I would have lost my eyesight. For this, I will remember him.
Mai:
I had watched the reactions of everyone that had left the hikaris for two years. I had stopped by, but couldn't get them to say much so I stayed with Solomon to talk about how they were coping.
Seto:
My rival and greatest challenge was gone. Nobody else was worth my time Dueling since Yugi had always given me reasons to improve my deck. How that he's gone, there's no other to provide such a challenge.
Mokuba:
I couldn't believe it. Yugi was gone. Ryou and Malik as well. I didn't like their Darks, but I enjoyed being around them. I'll miss them.
Ishizu:
I'll always mourn the loss of the Lights of the Darks. My brother especially. I had permission from Yugi's grandfather to take his remains to Egypt for burial close to his other half's ancient remains. Ryou had written a will stating his wish for the same.
Solomon:
I'll miss you, my dear grandson. Forever will I cherish the precious times I had with you, from the time I held you in my arms to this very day.
Will not say
ooooohhhhh
I opened my eyes and saw a shadow standing over me. I heard a soothing voice asking if I was alright. I nodded and took the hand offered to me. I feel warmth that I hadn't felt in forever. The voice asks me to look at him. I do. It's Yami!
"My brother, my yami, mou hitori no boku, I've missed you so."
A form blocked out thesun and lifted me from the ground. He scolded me for being so distant from the others. What others? I do not reply to this. He makes me look at him. It's 'Kura!
"I have missed you, my Darkness, my brother, my other self. Please don't ever leave me again!"
I was lost in the brightness until something blocked the light from my eyes. The form kneels in front of me. It's Marik!
"My Dark, I've missed you my brother, my other half."
I felt like crying the whole time I wrote this.
Yami: So why'd you kill the Hikaris?
Because a sad song inspired it.
Yugi: It was truly moving. I liked it.
Thank you, Yugi.
Malik: *Tugging on my arm* Come on, PhantomBrat! We've got a yami to hunt!
Better get going. Until next I post…
