Every Pathetic Twilight Fanfic!!!!!!!!!!!

Bella X Jacob: So Edward never came back for Bella and she went through her whole depressed phase, and now it's like 4-6 years later and she is still going through random flashbacks of the love they shared for like 3 months. But then she does the whole "Oh it's okay, I'm over him, I don't love Edward Cullen any more" then she walks into a dark room and bows to her Edward-Shrine. Then the children that she had, that are somehow magically 10 years old even though she has been married for three years, run in and she hugs them. Then Jacob walks in and she's like, "Hi Jacob, My not-love." And then he's just like, "Hi, now I'm going to say something rude so the whole WORLD hates me!" Then he leaves to be super-wolf and Bella go's somewhere in Fork's that she totally need to be at, a place that she would go to all the time… like an empty parking lot!!!!!!! Then wouldn't you know it Edward jumps out of the tree's and say's, "Bella I was wrong to leave for 4-6 years and totally abandon you to try and make it through the loss of… (Drum roll) ME! Because you know I still love you and I totally would have talked to you about this like three years ago… you know before you got married and had little puppies, but you were on the reservation, and I can't go there, cause you know I'm a vampire… and stuff." Then she is going to have an inner battle which will basically be this: Edward can't really be telling the truth… yes he can… no he can't… I love him… I'm not pretty enough to love him… What about Jake and my 2-3 10 year old children that grow in super speed …Screw it, we can make it work with love! Then she will jump into his arms and say, "Edward, I don't care that you caused me horrible pain and misery in my life for years by leaving me with no memories of you and without my permission. I also don't care that I have a husband and children, they can go die in a hole or something, all I care about is that I love you!" Then Edward will be like, "Bella, I love you even though you are so much older then me in human years that the state will probably try to arrest you for being with me, and I love you so much that I haven't even taken into consideration the fact that you have a whole life without me, a husband, and children! YAY!" Then they will merrily frolic back to Jacob's house and Bella will be like, "Haha, Screw you Fang, we are in love again and I am leaving you and the children to go be with Dracula over there." Then Jacob will be like, "Ahh, vampire on the reservation! Usually I would totally go all wolfy on your ass, but I have a big announcement… today while Bella went to hang out at that deserted parking, like she always does… because you know that's totally normal… I IMPRINTED! Wow isn't it weird how we both miraculously found the people we love and are meant to be with on the same exact day, at the same exact time!" Then he will look over to Bella to see how she feels, only to find that her and Eddie-poo are making out already.

THE END