Hello my lovelies! First, I must say that I do NOT own Lemonade Mouth or any of its affiliates. Second, I must say I apologize for not updating Wonders of the Younger in so long! I currently have writer's block for that one, but I'm trying! Thirdly, Wonders of the Younger is becoming difficult to write an interesting story line for, due to I'm writing Ray in as the bad guy; when I really love Ray. Sooo, yes, I'm trying. Buuut, here ya go, this is my first Rayella songfic one shot. I'm writing in Ray's point of view, sooo, ENJOY. It is extremely long, and it is separated into several parts. Sooo, read on. (:
Song: Space bound by Eminem
I DO NOT OWN LEMONADE MOUTH OR SPACEBOUND.
Part 1: The meeting.
*NOBODY'S P.O.V.*
RAY BEECH WAS NEVER THE TYPE TO FALL INLOVE, ESPECIALLY WITH SOMEONE AS DANGEROUS AS HER.
Blonde hair, freakishly skinny, slutty, cheerleader types; those were the kind of toys Ray played with. But then none other than Stella Yamada walks in to his life and so nonchalantly flips his whole world inside out and upside down. It was that day in the lunch room. Ray had approached her as he would any other airhead at Mesa High School. He slid up to her, calm cool and collected, and threw her the usual "hey babe" with a smirk. He was expecting the typical giggles and blushes, not a face full of sour lemonade.
"Asshole." This strange woman muttered; whilst spitting the Mel's Lemonade she currently had in her mouth, STRAIGHT IN TO HIS PERFECT FACE. The star soccer player's temper is steadily rising as the interesting half-Asian turns on her heel and goes to walk away. Ray grabs an innocent freshman's napkin to wipe the sting out of his eyes, and then reaches out to grab the villain's arm before she is too far out of reach. What the two spitfires felt next was the most unexpected thing in the world, there was a spark. It was the spark of all sparks; like accidentally dropping a high-charged wire in to a pond.
*RAY'S P.O.V.*
We touch I feel a rush
That was… What was that? It's like she was electrically charged.
We clutch it isn't much
I, being the dumbass I am, ask her if she felt that too. Really, Ray? What the hell kind of thing to say is that!
"Felt what, leech?" My suddenly new interest asks, venom oozing from each syllable she spits.
"N…Never mind…" Why am I stuttering? Why am I so nervous? Why are my palms so clammy? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!
"Umm... Kaaay. Cheese and rice, you guys at this school are lerpy."
"Lerpy?"
"Yes, LERPY!" She screams at me, "Got a problem!"
"Dear Lord, somebody's cranky today." Finally, I begin to get my spunk back.
"You don't even know my name, you jerk!"
"Well, what is it?" I ask, because honestly… I'm dying to know.
"Yamada. Stella Yamada."
"Beech. Ray Beech."
We shake hands, which is odd, but I don't mind. I'd do anything to just hold on to her perfect soft little hands for eternity. Waaaaait, what am I saying? THAT was completely out of character for me.
But it's enough to make me wonder what's in store for us
I want to know more. I need to know more. For the next few weeks she is all I can think about. All I see. I dream about her every night. I can barely eat. Barely focus. She is everything and all I know is her name.
Its lust, it's torturous
I'm becoming addicted. Completely and utterly addicted. It never came to my attention how obsessed I truly was until we lost the championship game. After our huge defeat, I walk home with my head hung low, for I had just led our 1st place team to a last place finish. On the way home I am pelted with insults as deep as knives, along with miscellaneous foods and debris. Well, isn't this just frucking (A.N.: Intentional!) lovely. I stalk through my front door with my head hung low, hoping maybe my father will be able to lift my solemn spirits; but instead, I am greeted with the sickly aroma of booze. Great, just great. He's drunk. As quietly as I can, I try to shuffle up the stairs into my sanctuary at the end of the hall. In other words: MY BEDROOM. But, because of my just wonderful streak of bad luck I've been having lately, my drunken father just HAS to notice me.
Part 2: Hurt, Help, and Comfort.
"Ray!" He shouts. I try to ignore him, hobbling faster up the stairs.
"Ray!" He shouts again, louder this time, "Get your ass down here and tell me why you lost, sonny boy!"
"I… I don't feel well. I'm going to go ice my ankle and then go to bed." I quickly stammer out, hoping he'll believe my lie.
"Don't you dare lie to me! Get your ass down here and get what's coming to ya!"
I gulp, take a deep breath, and back track down the stairs.
"W…What Dad?" I hesitantly ask.
SLAP.
Well, wasn't that just lovely? I can feel the hand print already starting to form on my face. I can feel the tears welling up inside of me, but I can't let him see it hurt. It'll only get ten times worse.
SMACK. SLAP.
Twenty times harder this time. Was that even possible? Shit, this frucking hurts!
"Dad! Dad just stop! I'm sorry, okay?"
"Don't you dare talk back to me, son! And that's sir, to you!"
"Y…Yes sir…" I reply, looking down at my shoes.
"Look me in the eyes when you're talking to me!"
"Ye…Yes sir." I say again, doing my best to hide the fear in my eyes from him.
"How dare you fail me like this!"
"Dad I'm so-"
"How could you disappoint me so thoroughly!"
"Dad just li-"
"I'm ashamed to call you my son!"
"Dad! Just stop! Ple-"
"No! Get out of here! OUT! Get out of my house! I never want to see your ugly face again!"
"But dad please!"
"NO! OUT!" He booms out, the sound bellowing from his chest. As I turn to leave, he calls my name again.
"Ray?"
"WHAT!" I try to say, with as much venom as I possibly can.
"One more thing…" He says, when the side of my face is met by a broken beer bottle, the pieces of glass digging into my skin, infecting the gashes with alcohol.
As I bolt out the door and down the street, I can still hear his menacing laughter, not even ashamed of what he just did to his own flesh and blood.
I run and run and run, until I can't see through the tears.
Once I finally skid to stop, I see that I am at the old Mesa Park. I sit on a rusty old bench; bury my head in my hands, and just cry. Cry over the loss, cry over the bullying, cry over everything my father just did to me. I cry and cry and cry, until I realize that I have begun screaming. I scream for the anger, I scream for the pain, I scream for the remorse, and I scream for the regret. I don't realize I have an audience until I hear her sweet, raspy voice pop up behind me, surprisingly soft at this very moment.
"R…Ray?" She asks, hesitant, "Is… Is that you?"
"Yeah…" I choke out.
I clear my throat and try again. "Yes."
"Are you crying?" She asks. She sounds generally concerned; but if one thing life has taught me is to trust nobody, no matter how convincing they sound.
"I… No…"
But clearly she doesn't believe my lie, because the next thing I know; she is sitting down next to me and wrapping her skinny little arms around me.
I flinch away from her touch on reflex, praying she won't notice.
"Oh my God, Ray… What happened?" She asks.
"Nothing. Nothing. Nothing." I repeat, trying to burn the images and memories from my brain.
"Don't you lie to me, Beech."
"Stella… I can't tell you. Okay? I can't. He'll kill me if he finds out I told."
"Who?" She presses on.
"My.. F…" I catch myself, luckily, right before I let my big secret out.
"Your… Father?" She asks, her voice so tender.
"N…No…" I stammer out, not even convincing myself of this lie.
"Ray, I know what those bruises look like. I feel your hesitation, it was your dad Ray, don't lie to me…"
"So what if it was!" I scream at her, finally finding my voice.
"I CARE, RAY!" She screams back.
"No, you don't! I'm just another "lerp" remember!"
"You remember that…?" She asks, her tone a little softer now.
"Yes!"
"Oh." She says, "But that is beside the point! Your father is beating you and it is not okay!"
"Do you have to say it like that?" I ask, tears threatening to spill again.
"Yes Ray, I do! Because it is the truth! I've been in your shoes before Ray! But I told, and I got help, and I'm safe now!" She screams at me.
"Wait…What.. You have?"
"Yes, Ray! I have!" And next thing I know, she is taking off her jacket and showing me the scars all over her arms.
"And these are only the minor ones…" She whispers, her eyes now too threatening to spill.
"Oh, Stella, I… I don't know what to say…" I begin to cry again, "It's been happening ever since my mom died 3 years ago, I just never had anybody I could trust to tell…"
"Shhh.. Shh.. Ray, it's alright.. It's alright… You're safe now, I'm not going to let him hurt you anymore…" She coos, whilst holding my tight and rocking me back and forth.
"Tomorrow, we are going to call Child Services." She states.
"You must be a sorceress…" I say.
"Why?" She asks, curious.
"'Cause you just did the impossible…"
"Which is?"
"Gained my trust…"
Part 3: Be mine?
The next week, at school, things are different between Stella and I. Always talking, laughing, and walking each other to class, occasionally a peck on the cheek here or there. She makes me… Well… Happy. Truly. An emotion I haven't felt in a long time. After a few weeks of us going round and round, I finally get the courage to ask her to be mine.
"Stella Antoinette Yamada!" I scream from below her window one day.
"Raymond Sebastian Beech!" She walks out onto her balcony, screaming in reply.
"Will you…" I yell up to her.
"Go on…" She says.
"Be…" I say, hanging onto the word as long as I possibly can.
"Yessss?" She says, clearly getting agitated.
"MINE!" I scream up at her.
"Hmm… Lemme think about it…" She says, seemingly skeptical.
"Oh.. Okay.. Well, just gimme a call when you have it all figured out okay?" I turn to walk away, my confidence shot.
"I've made up my mind!" She calls out.
"You have?" I ask, spinning around to see her standing right in front of me. Apparently, she climbed down her balcony; crazy girl.
"YES!" She screams, whilst jumping into my arms for a huge bear hug.
"YESSSSSSSSS!" I scream in victory, while I dance a creepy little victory jig.
"Umm… Ray… What the hell are you doing?" She asks, stifling laughter.
"Hmm, what?" I say, pretending to play it cool. "What you talkin' 'bout, mama?"
She snorts in laughter, giving me her "you're such a dork" face.
"Oh come on, you know you love me!"
"Well… Duh." And with that, she kisses me. Full on the lips. SCORE 25 FOR TEAM BEECH!
The next few days pass by with the typical honey moon stage during the beginning of a romance: sweet, brief, and totally mushy gushy. But then, one day, I see her flirting with some guy in the hall. I swiftly walk by, grab her hand, and say "she'll be leaving now."
She whisks her hand away from mine and screams "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR, RAY!"
"You were flirting with that guy!" I yell back.
"Was not!"
"Was to!"
"Was not!"
"Was to!"
"WE WERE JUST… TALKING, RAY!"
"Yeah, sure taaaalking."
"So, do you not trust me now or something?" She accuses, hostility dripping from each word.
"Stella… Don't play games…"
"What games? I'm not playing any g…games."
"It'll be dangerous."
"I'm not playing games with you, Ray!"
"If you fuck me over… 'Cause if I get burnt, I'ma show you what it's like to hurt."
"But Ray, I'm not going to hurt you!" She screams, nostrils flaring.
"'Cause I been treated like dirt before you, love is evil, spell it backwards, I'll show you…"
"Raymond Sebastian Beech, I love you. Okay? I love you. Have since the day I spit lemonade in your face. You are my one and only and I am not going to hurt you."
"But Stell… I'm so terrified you're going to wake up one day and finally realize you deserve so much better."
"Ray that is not going to happen. I PROMISE."
Things were good for a couple months, but then the water went rocky again.
We began fighting again.
And again.
And again.
And again.
That's all we did, fight.
So, I decided to write her a letter; because I have a slight problem with speaking the words but heart is dying to scream.
Part 4: Love letters on wet paper.
Dear Stella,
Nobody knows me I'm cold
Walk down this road all alone
It's no one's fault but my own
It's the path I've chosen to go
Frozen as snow I show no emotion whatsoever so
Don't ask me why I have no love for these motherfucking hoes
Bloodsucking succubus, what the fuck is up with this?
I've tried in this department but I ain't had no luck with this
It sucks but it's exactly what I thought it would be
Like trying to start over
I got a hole in my heart, I'm some kind of emotional rollercoaster
Something I won't go on 'til you toy with my emotion, so it's over
It's like an explosion every time I hold you, I wasn't joking when I told you
You take my breath away
You're a supernova...
All my love,
Ray.
Dear Ray,
I'm a space bound rocket ship and your hearts to the moon
and I'm aiming right at you.
250 thousand miles on a clear night in June
and I'm aiming right at you.
I do whatever it takes
When I'm with you I get the shakes
My body aches when I ain't
With you I have zero strength
There's no limit on how far I would go
No boundaries, no lengths
Why do we say that until we get that person that we thinks
Gonna be that one and then once we get 'em it's never the same?
You want them when they don't want you
Soon as they do feelings change
It's not a contest and I ain't on no conquest for no mate
I wasn't looking but I stumbled onto you must've been fate
But so much is at stake what the fuck does it take
Let's cut to the chase
But a door shuts in your face
Promise me if I cave in and break and leave myself open
That I won't be making a mistake…
My heart is yours,
Stella.
Dear Stella,
I'm a space bound rocket ship and your hearts to the moon,
and I'm aiming right at you.
250 thousand miles on a clear night in June
and I'm aiming right at you.
The waters rough, the stakes are high, but this love is ours. (A.N. Quote is from Taylor Swift's song "Ours".)
I love you,
Ray.
Part 5: Fixed?
*RAY'S P.O.V.*
throughout our old-fashioned love letters and various roof top dates over the past year, Stella and I have managed to fix our relationship. Or so we think…
Things have been good, I guess. Our last year of high school stretched out before us, plans for the future excited in our minds. Though Stella has seemed emotionally distant lately, she says it's because she's just stressed, and I believe her. Right? Well, it won't do me any good to sit her and drive myself mad worrying about this new Foreign-Exchange student, Brad, she's been hanging out with. He came from England, so she is just "showing him around". But I trust her. It's just that Brad character I don't trust, because any guy would be crazy not to want Stella. She is the most beautiful, hilarious, strong, smart, amazing girl you will ever encounter.
Over the next few days Stella and 'THAT GUY' have been all buddy-buddy, but whatever. We've been together for almost a year and six months, nothing can break our love. NOTHING.
But no matter how many times she insists nothing is going on, I still can't bring myself to just let it be. So here I am, being a creep, watching them from my new little hiding spot where I can see everyone, but no one can see me. (Janitor's closet). I can watch everything that is going on around me, without having to be a part of. God, creepy much Ray? Anyways, Stella and 'THAT GUY' are standing in front of her locker, talking. She's leaned up against her locker casually, nothing out of the ordinary about that, right? Now she's doing that little giggle, bite the lip, hair twirl thing that I always get when I attempt to flirt with her. Well, it's no need to jump to conclusions, it's nothing Ray. It's nothing. Shake it off, man, shake it off. But now she's popping up on to her tip toes to… to… to KISS HIM ON THE CHEEK! I can almost hear the sound my heart breaking, shattering internally. In an uproar of mops and brooms, I storm down the hallway brooding.
"What the HELL was that, Stella!" I scream at her, surprised at how high pitched and off my voice sounds.
"What the hell was what, Ray?" She asks, oh so innocently it makes me want to pull my hair out.
"What did I say about playing games, Stella!"
"I'M NOT PLAYING GAMES, RAY!" She yells, clearly that got to her.
"Don't lie to me, Stella. I saw what you did with 'THAT G-"
"Brad. His name is Brad." She interrupts me, but I continue on, pretending that her little correction didn't tear me to pieces inside.
"YOU KISSED HIM ON THE CHEEK STELLA! I SAW YOU!"
"How! Are you like… Stalking me now or something!" She throws at me, her accusation rimmed with fire.
"No! I just… UGH that's not important! What's important is that you are cheating on me!"
"I'm not cheating on you, Raymond! God! Brad and I are JUST FRIENDS!"
But right at the moment, 'THAT GUY' himself comes walking up, refusing her statement.
"We're just mates? Since when?" He asks, his English drawl so obnoxious it makes me want to punch him in the throat.
"Brad.. I.. Ray.. I.." Stella sputters out, clearly at a loss of how to fix this far too broken situation.
"SINCE WHEN!" I roar.
"Yeah, Stellarel-"
"DON'T call her that." I interrupt him.
"Umm.. Alrighty then chap? STELLA, since when have we just been "friends?" He asks, poor guy, if I wasn't so blind with pain and rage I might have actually felt bad for him.
"Brad, baby, you know I don't mean that…"
"EXCUSE ME!" I scream at her, her words cutting me so deep I didn't even get a chance to bleed.
"Ray, doll, him and I are just friends…"
"What? Stella, you owe us an explanation." Of course, Mr. English Princey Pretty Boy Porcelain Pants has to stay calm in this kind of situation, making me look like a total asshole.
"Ray I… Brad and I have been casually dating for the past couple weeks now, I'm sorry… I'm just not feeling it anymore, I'm sorry… We're over…"
I don't even say anything, I just turn around and run. Run so fast out of the doors of Mesa High School, run right past my car, I just run. Run past the startled faces of friend and foe, people I may or may not know. I just run. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm still running. I finally stop when my legs give out, collapsing on a park bench. The same park bench where Stella and I began… And now have ended…
So after a year and 6 months it's no longer me that you want
So she doesn't want me anymore…
But I love you so much it hurts
But I refuse to live without her!
Never mistreated you once
I was so sweet, so nice, so caring… I… Wasn't I?
I poured my heart out to you
I opened up to her, like a flower blossoming in spring. Never have I trusted or loved someone or something so much in my life.
Let down my guard
I trusted her…
Swear to God
I'll blow my brains in your lap
Lay here and die in your arms
Drop to my knees and I'm pleading
Finally, after hours of just sitting on that monumental park bench, I head home. I forgot that I had a bunch of Stella's stuff here… Dammit. Isn't this already hard enough? I walk in to the living room, grab the jacket she had left at my house, and curl up in a ball on the couch, and cry. After about 15 minutes there is a knock on my front door.
"Come in!" I manage to croak out, my voice sounding foreign in my ears.
At that was when I lost it…
Stella had walked in.
As I crumple into a heap of tears on the floor she:
Walks in.
Gathers all of her stuff.
And goes to leave.
Not a single word spoken between us.
But right as she reaches for the knob of my front door, I miraculously break out of my peculiar trance.
"Stella… WAIT!" I manage to yell out towards the back of her head, gathering some unseen strength from deep inside my broken soul.
I'm trying to stop you from leaving
Silence. Complete silence. She doesn't say anything, just keeps on walking.
You won't even listen so fuck it
I don't even know what I happened, but something switched inside of me. My white flag was ripped from atop my ship and all I could see was red.
I'm trying to stop you from breathing
I put both hands on your throat
I sit on top of you squeezing
'Til I snap you neck like a Popsicle stick
Ain't no possible reason I could think of to let you walk up out this house
And let you live
Oh my God, what the hell am I doing!
Tears stream down both of my cheeks
then I let you just go and just give
The minute I release my grip from her, she grabs her stuff and books it out my door.
I am hopeless. Completely hopeless. Without her, I am nothing. She was the last reason I had to live. She was the only thing that kept me around when all I wanted to do was grant my father's wishes and take my own life. But because of HER, I didn't. But now she's gone. So who am I trying to impress?
I muster up my strength and rise up from the ground. I slowly saunter over to the hall closet and get out a pad of paper and a pen and place them on the kitchen table. I stalk my way down to the garage and find our gun safe. I enter the code, and grab a tiny little handgun. It may be small, but it has just enough power to do what I need it to do.
Once I make my why back upstairs in the kitchen, I lower myself down onto a chair. I reach for the pen to begin writing my goodbye, but who is there to say goodbye too? My mom is dead and my dad is in prison, and the only real friend I have… Had… Was Stella. Well, it would feel wrong to just leave without some kind of closure, so I guess I will write a goodbye to her…
And before I put that gun to my temple
I told you this:
Dear Stella,
I would've done anything for you
To show you how much I adored you
But it's over now
It's too late to save our love
Just promise me you'll think of me every time you look up in the sky and see a star 'cause
I'm a space bound rocket ship and your heart's the moon
And I'm aiming right at you
250 thousand miles on a clear night in June
And I'm aiming right at you.
Please keep smiling, baby girl. I love you forever.
Goodbye,
Raymond Sebastian Beech, your retard in shining tin foil.
NOBODY'S P.O.V.
And with a bang, he was gone. All that was left of Ray was the pool of blood spilling from his head. A nearby neighbor heard the pop and immediately called the police to place a wellness check on Ray's house. When the police got there, it was immediately determined it was a suicide. He has no immediate family to call, so they called the next person closest to him: Stella.
Stella had been sitting in her room crying for what seemed like eternity now, when her house phone rang. "That's odd," she thought to herself "nobody ever calls our house phone; I forgot we even had one."
She rises from her bed to grab the phone, trying to hide any evidence of the heartbreak and said "Hello?".
THE PHONECALL: (Still nobody's P.O.V.)
Officer Chacone: "Hello. Is this the Yamada residence?"
Stella: "Yes it is. May I ask who is calling?"
Officer Chacone: "Miss Yamada, my name is Officer Chacone… I am sorry to tell you this but…"
Stella couldn't hear the rest over the sound of her heartbeat sputtering to a stop, only to pick up again moments later, racing a million miles an hour, as she fell to the floor, the phone clattering against the desk.
"No!" She thought, "No! NO! This can't be happening! Ray… My Ray… He's gone… No… No… No… No… My retard in shining tin foil… No…. No… No…"
Stella's mother shortly arrived home from work in a fairly content mood, only to rush upstairs to her eldest daughter's room when her "KIDS, I'M HOME!" was greeted by silence.
"Stella! Stella honey what's wrong!"
Mrs. Yamada never got a civil response out of her broken daughter, all she got were more sputtering tears and the faint whispering of "Ray…"
-6 months later (Ray's birthday)-
*STELLA'S P.O.V.*
The past 6 months have passed me by in a blur. There is no reason to live now without Ray in the world. I'm too afraid of death, though, sadly. I feel like all of my nerve endings have been cut off and tied in a bow to hand over to the devil along with my broken heart and soul. Numb. It's his birthday today. I'm going to go visit… Him…At the… Cemetery… I have a letter prepared. Many letters, actually. I have written one every day after he… Embarked on a new journey. Life sucks without him. I love him. It is my entire fault he is gone though, I'm such a cold and heartless bitch. I don't speak to… What was his name again? Brad, I think it was, anymore. I feel so terrible. I will NEVER forgive myself. NEVER. *RING RING!* Oh, schools out already? Okay. Time to get in my car. That's it Stella, don't cry, come on, you can do this. Drive. DRIVE, DAMMIT! DRIVE! Okay good, we're here now. No grab the envelopes; good, good. You can do this. Walk to his grave. Left. Right. Left. Right. Left. Okay, good. You're here now, sit down. You can do this. Okay, now…
But she couldn't keep thinking, because she burst out into an uproar of tears, sobs, and screams. She couldn't her anything over the sound of her pain.
"Ray… I miss you baby! Come back! I need you! I love you!"
And so on, was screamed…
Before she knew it, she was curled up in a ball, lightly singing to herself and him atop his headstone.
"I'm a space bound rocket ship and your heart's the moon
And I'm aiming right at you
Right at you
250 thousand miles on a clear night in June
And I'm so lost without you
Without you
Without… you…."
END.
Thank you for reading, I hope you liked it! It took me weeks to write this, and I'm still not sure I'm satisfied! I am planning on writing some more one shots soon, but there are not going to be as sad as my past couple! Thank you for reading!
All my love,
Kayla
