I own nothing.
Nick awoke and opened his eyes to find himself sitting on the living room couch. That was normal.
What was not normal was that there seemed to be a copy of him sitting opposite to him on the armchair.
Did he have a twin? Nick couldn't remember. He was mostly sure he didn't, but if he did- and that's a big if- then this twin was faring much better than Nick. Nick had been the broken shell of a man, drinking his days away and increasing the percent alcohol volume as the investigation dragged on. But Perhaps-Nick's-Secret-Twin was different. He sat up straight, confident, exuding an aura of power. He had the same energy as a feral animal at the zoo enclosure when the gate was left open. He was there, sitting, collected and dangerous. Nick just there, fixated on him because Perhaps-Nick's-Secret-Twin commanded attention and authority without saying anything. He was captivating
"Are you me?" Nick asked Perhaps-Nick's-Secret-Twin.
"No, Nick. I am not you. I am only here temporarily.", Not Nick answered calmly.
Okay…
"Nick, can you remember anything? About what happened before our conversation?", Not Nick asked Nick.
"I-uh," Nick started but didn't finish. He found that he had no recollection of anything. His world was limited to knowing that he was inside his living room talking to his talking reflection. So, he had knowledge of his home and memory of looking into the bathroom mirror and recognizing himself. Nick searched his memory and found a blank. There was a concrete wall that surprisingly didn't bother him. He searched for emotion and found himself lacking there, too. Nick was numb.
"Good. I had to block some memories of yours. Sorry Nick. You were mess. I had to block our meeting because that too would make you unstable. And I can't have that because you're already less than a perfect fit. For you humans, ignorance is bliss. "Not-Nick stated matter-of-factly, like a doctor writing a prescription.
"Alright…if you're not me. Then who are you? Nick asked Not-Nick. Was Nick talking to his conscience or had he finally reached alcohol poisoning?
Not-Nick chuckled, the predator all too visible.
"I am Lucifer."
Nick had spent the time since he had awoken just wandering what he knew was his house. There were pictures of himself, a woman, and a little baby. He knew he was related to them, and yet, he still didn't feel anything.
Was that a good thing?
Nick would usually watch TV. He would sit on the couch, grab the remote, and turn on the TV and flip between the five channels that he guessed that Lucifer had made available. One was the weather channel. Two was shared by MTV, daily Mass, and Hallmark. 3 was the Discovery Channel featuring National Geographic. Four was the outside world where he would see what Lucifer was doing through his body. Nick usually avoided that one. Five was all of Nick's memories from birth until a night where it turns to static. That incident was specifically blocked for some reason. So, Nick just watched his past birthday parties and The Price is Right reruns.
Sometimes Nick would sneak up on Lucifer watching the daily mass, so Nick knew it was noon. When the mass was an hour-long Nick knew it was Sunday and a week had passed. Nick would find Lucifer fascinated by it, other times angry, making the room shake and the dry wall cake off muttering about how "no one could ever love Him like I did! "
Time was non-existent wherever Nick was. According to Lucifer it was so "a minute was like a thousand years, and a thousand years like a minute."
But that still didn't explain why the devil was watching the mass.
One time when Nick was watching a documentary on Yellowstone Lucifer came and plopped himself on the seat next to him, not caring that he had startled Nick.
"This earth is amazing isn't? My Father's Creation is beautiful; I want to keep it. Like the aurora borealis. I was there when He decided to give the north a lightshow. Like how the sex of sea turtles is determined by the depth of the hole that the eggs are buried in; the heat. Father knew what He was doing. "
Lucifer turned to Nick. "You know, that book you humans like to read is right on some things. I was beautiful. The most beautiful. I still am. Father willed it so."
"Okay then. If you're so good-looking then why use my skin?", Nick asked.
"Because Nick," Lucifer sounded annoyed, "I have to present myself to you like this because my true form would drive you insane. I don't have hooves and horns. I am more of a light wave, an intense light, pure Creation. And I am beautiful. Though, I will admit, the cage changed my appearance; its terrifying."
"Okay so if you're no longer beautiful but scary, then what's so pretty about you?"
Lucifer smiled. "My great personality. "
"Doesn't anybody care about Lucifer the Archangel?!" Lucifer exclaimed to the ceiling, exasperated. He was lying on the couch, feet up and everything because this was another one of his monologues.
"Uh-huh. And how does that make you feel?" Nick had no choice but to listen. He was Lucifer's only audience so whenever Lucifer would start another of his rants all Nick could do was sit down and pretend to care.
"It's just like, c'mon! I am gone, put away on solitary confinement for like for freakin' ever and I have all these posers and you humans just trashing my name! Everything from dumb stories because demons were impersonating me, to a Rolling Stones' song, and that damned cat in Cinderella! Will the real Lucifer please stand up?!" I should've copyrighted my name. I could've been collected royalties right now!
Nick didn't know what Lucifer had chosen to complain this time about. His public image, his family, or his supposed destiny.
"Ugh! And then the rest of the archangels! Lemme tell you! They're nothing but a bunch of –
So, family then. Nick pretended to jot down scribbles on a yellow, legal notepad, but he was making little pen tornadoes.
"You know, I was made different, beautiful! Father made sure of it! He made me different, named me different! You have Michael, viceroy of Heaven. Raphael, healer of Heaven- Ha! Guy was as sensitive as a toilet seat-, and then Gabriel, messenger of Heaven. Not me! Oh no, not me! I was named Lucifer, the Morningstar, the light bringer, the raiser of the dawn! All the others were just jealous, that it! Father loved me more and they knew it!"
"Michael loved me. Raised me in ways no one can ever understand. I in turn helped raise Raphael and Gabriel and together we fought against the Darkness. I fought the hardest! I was ready! I loved Michael, idolized him! And then when I asked to stand with me, he rejected me because he was the good son! He was more loyal to Father than to anyone else and he made sure that Raphael and Gabriel turned against me too! All because I was right! All because I was different! It's all you human's fault, too! All I want is an apology from you guys! I miss my family. I miss Father. I want an apology from him, too. And an apology from Michael! Heck, I'll even hug Raphael…
"Uh-huh…"
"You know," Lucifer dropped his voice, loosing his mania and suddenly serious, " I often wondered in that cage why Father made me so different. I think I finally got it. Before Father decided to create, the world was enveloped in darkness. He made me the bringer of light. When you're so used to the darkness, what can be more beautiful than the light?"
Nick wrote "sibling issues" right next to "Daddy Issues" as diagnosis on the page.
Nick found his house spotless. When Nick had agreed to be used as a vessel the house had been in disarray. He couldn't bring himself to clean and he hadn't arranged for a housekeeping service either. So, it came as a pleasant surprise to have all the changes of clothes still in the closet. The drawers perfectly organized. No dust whatsoever. A five-star hotel cleaning service would've been jealous of the white glove test results.
There was women's clothing in the master bedroom and the bed was big enough to fit too people and yet Nick still felt nothing. Pictures of weddings, outings, and vacations held no meaning. There was also a smaller room nearby, decorated in baby boy blue outfitted with a crib, changing table, and gifts for an infant. Pictures of an ultrasound lay atop of a drawer by a lamp. All that meant nothing. Whatever feeing was attached was either lost, forgotten, or as Nick guessed, suppressed by Lucifer if Nick was useful. The day that he was no longer useful would be the day that Nick was let go of his internal house arrest. That day would come soon.
Nick would find the pantry filled. Anything he took out would be replaced immediately. The wine cabinet filled with wines whose foreign names Nick couldn't pronounce correctly. He would eat without being hungry. He would drink without feeling thirsty. The bathroom was scrubbed and ready to use. Nick would bath with water that never turned cold. No reparations ever needed to be made, nothing needed fixing. No leaky faucet, no ruptured tubing, no food shortage, no need, no want, no feeling, and no family.
As much as Lucifer liked to talk about his family, Nick's was a taboo subject. Only once did Nick ask.
"Lucifer, who are those people in the pictures besides me?"
Lucifer kept working on whatever to keep himself busy; not turning to Nick he responded, "that's your wife and child, Nick. They're in Heaven. Don't worry about them; they're fine. They didn't suffer, it was a quick job. I made sure of it. You'll be joining them soon enough."
Nick had no feeling. Lucifer had plenty, in fact he probably had excess and could share, and still have enough anger and bitterness leftover to fuel an atom bomb. Except one time that anger and bitterness was replaced by regret…and was…it…love? When Lucifer killed Gabriel, the elder seemed to regret doing it, having killed his little brother. Lucifer then promptly bottled that feeling up and pushed it to the deepest, darkest, and dankest corner of his being. Lucifer might've loved his family, especially Gabriel, but there was no room for feelings that weren't useful, not now.
Lucifer did not extend that privilege to Nick, he had no feelings for Nick except pity. Nick knew that he was just some dog that Lucifer had picked up for temporary use until this "Sam" boy was found. Then Nick would be put down like the dog Lucifer considered him to be.
So as Lucifer tore lives apart looking for Sam, killing pagan gods and slaughtering entire towns, Nick would pop open a bottle of Merlot and watch as Lucifer prepared for the beginning of the end of the world.
The day came, more sooner than later, when Lucifer told Nick that they were in Detroit.
"I have Sam. Take care of yourself, Nick. You've been good to me. I left you 300 dollars in your pocket to get yourself a ride home. You'll see Sarah and the baby."
"That sounds more like bad news to me. "
"Well, Michael always told me that bad news was just good news in disguise."
"Was this before he locked you in the cage?"
"Yes, it was."
Lucifer snapped his fingers and he was gone. Nick awoke a little while later in a house.
He needed to use the bathroom.
He looked in the mirror.
Oh cool, I am a Halloween costume.
The world was slowly closing in, his vision turning black. His knees buckled, his nose bled, his skin ashy and gray. His body was finally shutting down after the visit. The archangel was the only thing keeping the body together.
Nick patted his pockets. No cash in either.
Lucifer knew he wasn't going to need it.
Thank you for reading. Please review. Part II coming soon.
