As he lay there, bleeding rivers on the damp earth, his blood mingling with the oncoming rain, he could barely make the slightest sense of the thoughts that were whirling like a tornado inside his impaled brain. He couldn't at all, however he didn't try since it hurt too much to do so. He could feel the strong presence that followed Arima Kaichou standing over his probably assumed dead body and how much he wished they would be fulfilled of his dilemma, and he, be freed from this never-ending painful hell.
No, He couldn't see, he had been robbed off that sense and all that seemed to lie infront of him was a dark abyss, seemingly endless...and empty.
Though just a while ago, it had started acting like a screen to flashbacks of his past, that haunted his shattered self to the very core and beg for the sweet embrace of death. But being deprived of one sense amplifies and enhances the other ones, making him see rain in a new perspective all together. The soft pitter-patter of rain did sound to him like a well-composed piano quartet, like the tip-toes of a ballerina dancing at unparable exellence to the melody.
He would've loved to continue this particular train of though, to appreciate the beauty of the maker's music, If only it wasn't the absolutely unbearable throb of numbing pain, more intense than the last throb, that coursed through his body, jolting him to the reality of his painful, pathetic existence. It brought out a scream from him though when it reached up, it only came out as a cough, scratching savagely against his burning,scathed throat, bringing up with itself the liquid that had been choking him inside his lungs. He barely spat it, the warm liquid against his tongue, sour and mettalic and strangely salivating.
A peculiar static charged theough his memory lane and he saw the images he believed to have memorized perfectly, of mother, Of Hide, start to blur and fade into the abyss in a very mortal manner. The pain had started to make him tremble, such was the vigour of it and he felt if he already wasn't used to this pain, he would've definitely gone insane.
It was everywhere, constituting a major part of his every organ, especially his eyes and head making him want to almost rip them the defective body parts out by his own bare hands.
If only he could move.
His vision was almost black now, with blinking white spots like headlights in a dark road and he wondered if he would be allowed to enter heaven ,not his deignated destination of hell and be with his mum as she would of course be the God.
'Nah!'
He didn't think so. But he wanted to believe so.
The end was near.
And he laughed dryly at his fate, a hoarse, forced , painful gurgle making more blood sprout out of his mouth. He was laughing, mocking them, The Aogiri, CCG, his selfish aunt, Yamori, Rise and all who had wronged him ever, made him this monster his innocent self could never dream to become. All who had taken everything that mattered to him and they no longer could.
He was born alone, he survived alone and he was going to die alone. But most of all, he laughed at his fate, the fate he had long foreseen even as a child of mere age.
"If you were to write a story with me in the lead role, It would certainly be...
A Tragedy."
X-X-X
Just a bit of how i think Kaneki's though process would've gone while he lay in wait of his inevitable death, though we all know better. I know his words weren't coherent in the manga but he is only thinking and it's just because he's at the brink of death, I let him have a monologue.
-DDD
