Chapter 1: Kimberly
Two years ago I was planning on what college I wanted to go to, sending out applications, and getting rejected. I almost gave up until finally one day my mom came in to the house screaming "you got in, you got in." I would do anything to go back to 18 year old me and tell her not to go to college! It will consume your life, make you stressed beyond belief, and your social life will plummet into an abyss of books and finals. I moved back in with my mom after my dad died, he got cancer in his lungs and later in his stomach. We all knew he didn't have much time, but we spent it well. My mom needed some company and I don't have to pay rent in the tiny, yet very disturbingly loud apartment in town. It was nice being home, seeing my old room, which hasn't changed a bit, and the all familiar smell of my mom's famous pot roast.
"Hey sweetie, dinner is done." I hear my mom say softly. I close the book I was reading and meet her in the kitchen. "How is school going?" she asks. I knew she has been itching to get that question out. I can't just say it's terrible, that would make her worry and that's the last thing I want to make her… "It's great" I say taking a big bite of roast. "Are your grades good?" she asks. "yeah." I lie trying to shy away from the subject. "Being a lawyer is a very good job. You can support your family for years and spoil your kids. They make good money, Kimmy." She says trying to persuade me. "I know and it's only you know, 5 years of my life in college. I don't need any friends as long as I have those text books, oh which cost about $100 a semester." I say sarcastically. My mom's eye brows crinkle in the middle and I know I ticked her off. "Kimberly, why can't you just suck it up? Your father planned everything out for you all you have to do is stay on the path and you will be successful." She says. Bringing up my dad hits me in the stomach, he has been gone for a few years, but the subject is still like salt on a wound. I sigh deeply "I know, mom I'm sorry. I am just overwhelmed I am happy, really" I say smiling the cheesiest smile I can. "I understand" she smiles and takes my plate from the table. She kisses the top of my head just before she goes into the kitchen. I head back into my old-new room and check my phone. One text from Aubrey "coffee date tomorrow?" she asks. "Sure, before our shift?" I reply back. "Sounds good to me see you at work!" she messages back. I put my phone on the charger and begin reading "An Abundance of Katherine's: by john green." I soon drift off in the middle of a chapter.
Chapter 2:
The buzzing from my phone wakes me up. I fell asleep with one hand on the book above my neck and my other draping off the side of my bed. I look at my phone and dismiss the alarm; I get up stretching out my legs. I get dressed for work and text Aubrey "on my way" as I walk out of my house. I meet Aubrey inside Starbucks, which is conveniently where we both work. She is one of my good friends, but since I have been going crazy over studying we haven't had much time to see each other. "Hey, Kim" She hugs me quickly and hands me a coffee. "Mmm, my favorite thanks." I say taking a sip of my caramel Frappuccino. "So, how is school going?" she asks. I can actually tell her the truth without getting a long lecture about my future. "Terrible" I admit. "Oh, why?" she asks surprised. "it's a lot harder than I imagined, the only thing I do is study, and I have to spend the next 5 years trying to become something I don't even think I really like." I say. "Wow, I am so glad I didn't go to college. If you don't like what you're doing just pick something else" she shrugs. "It's not that easy." I sigh. "My mom wants me to be successful and live out my dad's life plan for me." "Well, I'm not sure how to help you there." She laughs lightly. "I just want to get out of Utah. I have been here for my whole life. Imagine seeing different places, different faces, and hearing different voices!" I say almost day dreaming. "That would be nice, but you know Utah, there aint no leaving once you're here" she says in a faint southern accent. I laugh and roll my eyes "I'm sure I could leave, maybe I will." "Where would you even go?" she asks. "I don't know, where myself is, because I know for a fact she isn't here, she left a long time ago." I say. "Go to Nevada maybe she likes to party" she says laughing. "If I left my mom would have a panic attack. I couldn't." I say. We stop talking for a moment while we drink our coffees. "Like any college guys yet?" she asks winking. "No" I laugh. "Oh, come on, you're lying, right?" she asks. "Nope, I won't ever date someone who lives in the state of Utah, again. Having him go to the same school is just too much." I say. By him I mean my ex, he dumped me and hard, like he just pushed me off a cliff and some hot girl in leather and stiletto heels walked right up and took him while I just continued falling, falling, falling, then reality hit that having a boyfriend isn't what I should focus on. I got over it in a few months, considering nothing "valuable" was lost in that relationship. "That's the perfect revenge. Talk to cute guys while he is watching or touch their arm subtlety" she says batting her eye lashes and smiling like a kid in a candy store. "You know, you could be a comedian" I laugh. "I'm serious you need some action and fast, otherwise you will explode from all that pressure of homework. Just a little distraction can do wonders and it doesn't even have to be that dirty" she shrugs laughing again. "I know I'm not as experienced as a 21 year old should be, but I have other priorities and when a good guy comes along I will marry him and settle down" I say. "Whatever you say" she smiles. "That guy over there has been staring over here for the last 20 minutes." "He probably wants your number" I say. "No, he hasn't been staring at me I would know, but he has been waiting for you to turn around and notice him before he makes a move so he doesn't seem creepy." She smiles and flicks her napkin across the table "oopsie, will you get that for me, Kimberly!" she says saying my name louder than the rest of the sentence. I roll my eyes and lean over to pick up her napkin, I make awkward eye contact with the guy who has been staring at the back of my head for 20 minutes… I turn back around and slap the napkin on the table. "You are quite the love matcher." We both laugh.
My shift starts an hour before Aubrey's, so she leaves just as I begin working. I see the guy from earlier walk in, making the bell on the door jingle. He smiles brightly as he approaches the counter "welcome to Starbucks, what I can get you?" I ask politely. "I will have a vanilla Frap." He says. I push the buttons on the cash register, take his money, and give him his change. "So, I don't want to come off as a creep, but I saw you earlier today with your friend, I was wondering what a-" "I have a boyfriend" I cut him off. "It's always the pretty ones who are taken. I'm sorry to bother you." he says, I hand him his coffee and he leaves. This is going to be a very long day.
Chapter 3:
I clock out and drive home. I didn't tell Aubrey about the guy coming back, because I knew she would freak out on me. I get home and go straight to my room; my mom is at work so the house is quiet.
After a few hours of studying and homework I finish the chapter I was on when I fell asleep last night. A line in the book catches my eye "What is the point of being alive if you don't at least try to do something remarkable?" I think about this for a moment. I haven't done anything remarkable I have always been standard; I don't push my limits and strive for perfection, like I should. If I truly wanted to be a lawyer then I would want to be the best I could be. I get up from my desk and rummage through my closet and find a long, black duffle bag. I throw it on to my bed and start throwing shirts, pants, underwear, and shoes into it. "Why live if you don't at least try to do something remarkable" I say to myself, zipping up the duffle bag. I lift it on to my shoulder; I take one last look at my room and walk out to my car. I sit in the driver's seat for too long thinking over my plan, but then I stop myself. Don't think about it just drive. I pull out of the drive way and head west, which is straight to Nevada. Maybe the ME I am missing is partying it up in some club in Vegas. I take a deep breath and brace myself for a little road trip and a very upset mom.
It only takes about 5 hours to get to Las Vegas, Nevada, which is nice since I don't want a full out "let's go across the world" kind of road trip. I can miss a few days of school and pretend I was out sick, but for now I just need to relax and enjoy myself.
I get a few phone calls from my mom and Aubrey, but I ignore them while I drive. I see a small hotel and decide to check into a room for them night and do whatever tomorrow. The desk clerk was a younger man, but snobby. I got my room and quickly went to find it, before he charged me extra for being annoying this late at night. I finally get the courage to call my mom, when she picks up I can barely understand what she is saying. "Mom, calm down I'm fine, I'm not kidnapped, or dead. I am in Vegas, I decided to take a break for a few days, and don't worry not in the getting wasted way." I say, but partially that's a lie, you can't stay in the biggest party city and not drink… "What do you think this will do to your grades, I can't believe how immature you are being. Come home right now" she says. "Mom, I am not coming home for a few days if you want me to start liking school then give me a break. Just a few days I will be fine and get some excuse passes on the little assignments, seriously stop worrying. I. Am. Fine. I'm going to bed, love you see you in a few days" I say before she can yell at me anymore. I lay down on the bed looking up at the ceiling. Here I am in Vegas all alone… I look at the clock; it's only midnight and most of the city is up anyway, might as well go out. I look through my bag and find a white sequined tank top and some dark jeans. I quickly get dressed and put on some makeup. I look at myself in the mirror, my long, brown wavy hair, and my green eyes pop when I wear this shirt. I walk out of the door closing it slowly, I turn around and accidently drop my key card just as I pick it up the door across from mine opens and a man trips over me. He was calling back to his buddies, who are laughing their asses off inside the room. "Will you get off of me?" I say more demanding than asking. "Wow, I'm really sorry, but where did you even come from?" he laughs as he gets up to his feet he offers me his hand, but I don't take it. "I dropped my key and then next thing I knew you were tripping over me" I say. "Or you knew some cute guys were across the hall and got up the courage to knock on the door, but I ruined your plans, or maybe that was your plan" he says making no sense what so ever. "Are you drunk?" I ask. "No" he laughs "we were just about to head out to a club though. I'm sorry where are my manners I'm Landon" He says holding out his hand I shake it awkwardly. Why is he still talking to me? "Have fun" I say turning back to my room. If I am already making people trip over me I don't think I should go out. "Where are you going?" he asks. "Back inside."" I say holding the door open with my foot. "You went through all that trouble to get me out of that room and now you just leave?" he says. "one, I didn't know you were in the room across from me and two, when you trip over a stranger you are supposed to say sorry and go about your plans not try to make friends with them" I say irritated by the smirk he has on his face. "I was just trying to be nice. I'm sorry you made me trip over you, and if you don't have any plans then why don't you just come out with us?" he says. I think my mouth dropped, but I can't tell since I'm so shocked. This guy that met me by tripping over me is asking me to go out with him and some friends. "Yes, because that doesn't spell gang bang" I say sarcastically. He laughs lightly "oh, I see you are one of those people." "What people?" I ask. "A prude. You don't drink or smoke. Are you waiting to have your first kiss on your wedding day?" he retorts. I scoff at his comment, but my cheeks blush. "Excuse me?" I say not having any other come back. "You heard me" he smirks and his green eyes sparkle with amusement… "Are you trying to get yourself smacked, because you are really irritating me." I say "you won't. I was simply stating a fact." He shrugs. "You don't even know me, so it's not a valid fact." I say back. "Then why don't you just prove me wrong?" he says in a cocky voice. I let my door close and I walk closer to him "I don't pass up a dare" I say with a smile on my lips. He looks down at them and smiles deviously "you show me that you aren't a boring, 20 year old?" he assumes backing up looking me up and down "21" I correct. "okay, you show me that you aren't a boring 21 year old girl running away from home to have a little fun" he smiles. My cheeks blush, how did he know that? "Did I get that right?" he asks smiling. "I didn't run away" I say. "Okay, whatever you say." He laughs. "What do I get if I prove you wrong?" I ask. "Oh trust me, you won't" he says. "You have to move rooms...that way we can assure you won't trip over me anymore" I say smiling even bigger this time. "But if you don't prove me wrong then you have to…go out with us tomorrow night too." He says. I think over his bet and think to myself, this is why I am here right? Too have a little adventure I will make sure I don't do anything stupid, but I can't let him win. He will have to move rooms tomorrow, and then I can switch hotels in the morning. Problem solved! "Deal" I say. We shake hands and he walks into his room. "Guys, meet…" he looks over at me waiting for me to say my name. "Kimberly." I say. "She and I have made a deal, so she has to come out with us tonight." He explains. His friends greet me and then we leave… I am really doing this; going into a club with a stranger. What is the point of being alive if you don't at least try to do something remarkable?
Chapter 4: Landon
One day earlier…
"Get in and let's head out" I yell to Jake. He hops into the passenger seat, "dude, I am so stoked for tonight." He says. We have been planning a trip to Vegas for a week now; we live in summerlin south, which is 20 minutes from Vegas. I pick up Ryland and we are off… we have all be friends since high school. I'm the only one of out the two who hasn't gone to college… I don't want the responsibility, I just want to be free and have fun. They are off for the weekend so we planned this trip, since I barely see them, that's another thing about college its life consuming. You can waste years of being young and fun inside a dorm reading text books on how to become anti-social.
We finally arrive and check out a room. It's almost midnight, but we have to wait for Ryland to get back with our beer, so we can celebrate having the group back together before hitting it hard in the clubs. "I got the beers and cups, but they are piss warm" Ryland says. "Gross I will go get some ice" I say turning the door knob. "Hey, throw me the ice—"I fall over something, but I realize it's a girl… a cute girl, actually. "Will you get off of me?" she says almost sounding disgusted. "Wow, I'm really sorry, but where did you even come from?" I laugh and get up, I offer her my hand, but she doesn't take it, ouch she's one of those girls... "I dropped my key and then next thing I knew you were tripping over me" she explains. "Or you knew some cute guys were across the hall and got up the courage to knock on the door, but I ruined your plans, or maybe that was your plan" I say awkwardly. What the heck man, you would say that you sound stupid... "Are you drunk?" she asks. Oh great, I did sound stupid. "No" I laugh "we were just about to head out to a club though. I'm sorry, where are my manners I'm Landon." I say holding out my hand, she shakes it stiffly. "Have fun" she says turning back to her room. "Where are you going?" I ask. "Back inside." She says "you went through all that trouble to get me out of that room and now you just leave?" I say trying to draw her attention. Her door is open and I see a black duffle bag half open on her bed it says university of Utah. If I can play my cards right I can get this mysteriously hot girl out with us. "one, I didn't know you were in the room across from me and two, when you trip over a stranger you are supposed to say sorry and go about your plans not try to make friends with them" she retorts. I smirk, because it's cute how she thinks her comes backs are working. "I was just trying to be nice. I'm sorry you made me trip over you, and if you don't have any plans then why don't you just come out with us?" I ask and her face loses all color. She is putty in my hands… "Yes, because that doesn't spell gang bang" she says sarcastically. I laugh lightly "oh, I see you are one of those people." "What people?" she asks. "A prude. You don't drink or smoke. Are you waiting to have your first kiss on your wedding day?" I say ask as cocky as I can. I hear her scoff at my comment and she tries to hide the faint blush on her cheeks… "Excuse me?" she says shocked. "You heard me" I smirk "are you trying to get yourself smacked, because you are really irritating me." she says. "You won't. I was simply stating a fact." I shrug. "You don't even know me, so it's not a valid fact." She says back. "Then why don't you just prove me wrong?" I say. She lets the door close and walks closer to me, now to seal the deal. "I don't pass up a dare" she says with a smile. I look down at her lips, which oddly I just want to kiss them, but then she would really smack me… I smile back deviously "you show me that you aren't a boring, 20 year old?" I assume backing up looking her up and down "21" she corrects. "okay, you show me that you aren't a boring 21 year old girl running away from home to have a little fun" I smile. Her cheeks blush, again and I know I was right. "Did I get that right?" I ask. "I didn't run away" she says. "Okay, whatever you say." I laugh. "What do I get if I prove you wrong?" she asks pushing the dare further. "Oh trust me, you won't" I say. "You have to move rooms... that way we can assure you won't trip over me anymore" she says. "But if you don't prove me wrong then you have to…go out with us tomorrow night too." I say. I watch her think over my bet. I want to tell her not to over think, but I don't. "Deal" she says. We shake hands and I walk back into my room. "Guys, meet…"I look over at the girl and realized I never caught her name. "Kimberly." She says. "She and I have made a deal, so she has to come out with us tonight" I explain. The guys get it, this girl is hot and I know she isn't a prude I just wanted some cute company for later tonight. We head out and she looks scared, but hides it well enough that you really have to look into her pretty green eyes to see the slightest change from adventure to being afraid. I replay her saying her name… Kimberly, it fits her well, she has a little waist, a nice rack, and gorgeous hair. I scored pretty well tonight. I let her have shot gun in my truck while the guys take back seat. "So, Kimberly" I say. "Where are your girlfriends?" I ask. "I came alone" she says. "All alone, why would a pretty girl like you want to be alone in a city like this?" I ask. She really is alone… "Like you said I'm just trying to have a little fun" she smirks and it makes my toes tingle the way she can play games right back. "Am I going to get a backstory?" I ask. "Utah, college, 21" she says and that's it. "You should publish that. I'm sure it would be the best autobiography anyone has ever read." I laugh. She laughs a bit and the smile lingers… oh, that smile. I can see her glance at me while we drive it takes everything not to stare at her or hold her hand. I mean that would be weird, considering her life story was 3 words, we met by me tripping over her, and this is not anything serious. We pull in to the parking lot of a raging club with neon lights for the sign. "You can back out now if you want" I say. "I hope you didn't unpack, because you are definitely moving rooms." She says. "Oh we will just have to see" I smile. We walk into the club the music blasting the lights blurring. I go to the bar and order the strongest thing they have… the bartender pours 4 shots that burn my nose even from the counter. "Here you go" I say handing her the little glass. "What is it?" she asks. "No idea" I say. She looks at me like I'm crazy "ready, go" I say and tip back the glass. The liquid stings all the way down I feel it in my nose, stomach, and throat. Kimberly is gagging and coughing "oh my god" she yells over the music. "We will try something less disgusting." I say. We try a few more shots and then I buy her a bud light and we sit on the bar stools, Ryland and Jake have already disappeared, so that means it's just me and her. "Dizzy?" I ask. "No" she lies. I can see her swaying in her seat. "Why did you run away?" I ask feeling my buzz kick in. "I told you I didn't runaway" she says. "I just got fed up with Utah and college and my mom. I just left this afternoon, thought I could use a few days to myself" she explains. "Did you tell anyone you left?" I ask. "No" she laughs. Her eyes are already glazing over. "Then you ran away" I say sipping on my beer. "No, I'm not a kid. I left for me." she says sipping her beer like me. "Alright, alight. So, any boyfriend I should watch out for?" I ask. "Oh god no, he dumped me a while ago, I haven't really dated since." She says. Now I feel bad about my intentions from earlier... I don't really want to just have sex with this girl and sneak out afterwards, I just want to listen to her talk her voice is like silk and she is so damn beautiful… I shake my head don't get mushy on me now brain… "He dumped you, wow that is hard to believe" I say. She blushes and bites her lip trying to hide the smile, but I can see it clear as day. "I didn't mind much, I didn't lose anything "valuable" she says quoting her word with her fingers. "Valuable?" I ask confused. "You know, like my v-card." She says embarrassed. Oh wow I feel like a total ass. This is definitely not the girl you have a one night stand with… I couldn't if I tried. "oh." I say not knowing what else to say. We drink out beer quietly "wanna dance?" I finally ask. "Well, I don't really-""now you do" I cut her off midsentence and pull her into the crowd of sweaty, drunk bodies. She is pretty buzzed she won't mind dancing… I grab her and pull her toward me so I don't lose her in the crowd. She just stares at me as I move my arms around, "come on, Kimmy" I tease. "Kimmy?" she laughs. "My mom calls me that." She laughs harder. Her laugh is contagious, because I begin laughing too. I pull her closer and grab her hips, she immediately goes serious, and I can see she is nervous, but doesn't want to show it. I sway her back and forth "just like that" I whisper in her ear. She keeps moving and I keep my hands where they are. After a while of dancing there is a few more shots, a few more beers, and Kimberly is so drunk she is actually dancing on her own. She twirls around and laughs when she sees me watching her, god damn that smile. The guy behind her bumps her and she falls into me "whoa" I laugh "you alright?" "Yeah, I'm good" she says slurring a bit. She looks up at me and I can't help, but stare at her lips, they are so close, but so far away. "You can do it if you want?" she says. "Huh?" I ask. "Kiss me; you can if you want to." She shrugs. It's like she lost her drunkenness, she is serious. "I don't even know you" I say. Why am I not kissing her she gave me permission!? "I don't know you either, but I'm not afraid, are you?" she smiles and I can't help it; I plant one on her. Grabbing her shoulders holding her close, I can feel her chest rise against mine. We don't stop she grabs at my hair and pulls me closer, and I don't shy back. "We should go somewhere less crowded" she says into my ear. I pull her out of the crowd toward the first glowing exit sign I see. We end up on the backside of the build the dim light from the door is just enough to see her eyes. The way they look into mine and call me to her like she is taking lead and I have no choice but to follow. She pulls the collar of my shirt toward her as her back hits the wall, I pin her between my arms and kiss her intensely. She claws at my back and runs her hand up the front of my shirt. I lift her up letting her wrap her long legs around my waist. I'm so caught up in the moment I didn't notice how much… tighter my pants felt. She notices just as I do and smiles against my mouth, what is she thinking inside that devious mind of hers? She thrusts her hips toward me and I am hoping she isn't giving me a hint, because her first time shouldn't be while she is drunk, making out with a guy on the side of a building. She moans quietly as I feel her up under her shirt, I kiss her neck while we catch our breath, but not too long we are kissing again. She moans and it takes everything to control myself. I am going to have to take lead now… "Kim" I say, but she does stop kissing me. "Kim" I say again. "What?" she says looking at me. "We can't." I say. She drops her legs from my waist "so all this wasn't getting anywhere?" she asks. "No, it was getting somewhere. Don't get me wrong that was pretty amazing, but we can't, I mean I can't. Not here and not now. You need your first to be romantic and with someone you love, not on the side of a building with a guy you probably will never see again." I say and she almost looks disappointed. "I guess you're right." she admits. "I will just take you back to the hotel, alright?" I ask. "sure." she's says. I take a hold of her waist and we walk to the front of the building. I text the guys and they shortly meet us at the truck. They give me a weird look, but I ignore them. We drive back to the hotel; I help Kimberly into her room and wave the guys away. I sit her on the bed and she plops back. "I think I'm going to be sick" she says. I grab the closest trash bin and hand her it. She holds it on her lap and laughs lightly. "You were right you know, I am a prude. This is the first time I have even been this drunk in my life, but I have made out with a guy before, just not like that." She says. I can't help but smile at her as she talks. This all started because I wanted to get laid tonight, but this girl isn't easy, she is kind of a smartass, but I like it. I kissed her, but that's innocent. We almost did it on the side of the building, but I stopped myself, because… because this girl is different.
Chapter 5: Kimberly
I stick my head under the pillow to get the sun out of my face. I left the drapes open and the sun is shining right into the damn window. I decide to finally get up; I throw off the blankets and see that I am only in my bra and panties… I look around and see my clothes bundled up on floor, and then London's face flashes in my head. Oh my god did we have sex last night? I barely remember any of it… we took shots and we were dancing, but that's it. I grab the complementary robe from the bathroom and walk straight to London's door. I bang on it as loud as I can, I'm not sure what I am doing, but I feel like this moment should be dramatic, considering he may have took my virginity last night… "Landon!" I yell still pounding on the door. A guy opens the door I recognize him as one of London's friends, Jake, I think. "Would you keep it down we are trying to sleep." He says. "I need Landon." I say. "He is asleep." he says. "I don't care" I say and walk past him into the room. I walk into the next room and see Landon. He is sound asleep, the blankets draped over his torso showing his bare chest, and then I see him and me kissing in the middle of the crowd. "Landon" I yell shoving him. He mumbles something inaudible, but I keep shoving. "Dude" he says, but stops when he sees me. "Kimberly." He says sitting up quickly. "What are you doing?" he asks rubbing his eyes. I can't think straight as I look at his abs and up to the little scruff on his chin, his tattoos, and his blues eyes. "Kimberly?" he says again snapping me out of whatever that was. "Did we have sex?" I blurt out. His face looks shocked, but I go on. "I woke up with no clothes and I can't even remember anything. If we had sex you better tell me, because I was a virgin or I still am… I'm just freaking out I can't remember anything. Did we kiss, because-" "hold your horses. Let me get dressed and I will meet you in your room" he says his hand brushing mine as he passes by. I shiver, but not because I'm cold. I go back to my room apologizing to London's friends. I pull on a new outfit before Landon comes in. I hear a knock and brace myself as I open the door. "Alright, first things first we did not have sex" he says. I let out a breath of relief. "We almost did, but I stopped you." he says. "Me... you stopped me?" I ask unconvinced. "Yes, my whole plan last night was too get laid, but then I just couldn't go through with it. We were standing in the middle of a crowd and you said I could kiss you, I tried my hardest not to, but I did. We went to the back of the building and well, things just went on from there, but nothing sexual happened between us." He explains. "You kissed me" I say more to myself than him. "I'm sorry, I really am" he says. "Don't be that's not a huge deal. Why did I wake up without clothes?" I ask. "You threw up all over yourself last night, so I helped you out of your dirty clothes and made sure you fell asleep alright" he says. He helped me and here I am accusing him of sleeping with me when actually it's my entire fault. "I am so sorry." I say. "Don't be I can understand why you were freaked out" he laughs lightly. "Well, I apologize for putting you in an awkward situation last night" I say. "That was actually pretty amazing" he says rubbing the back of his neck. "You mean I was good at it?" I ask. "More than good, babe" the only word that catches me is babe, why am I blushing make it stop… "Alright, anything else I should know?" I ask. "Nope, I really under estimated you, you know. I didn't think a little prude girl could be such a fantastic kisser." He smiles and walks past me. "How about breakfast? It can be my way of saying sorry I made you thing we had sex" he smiles. I bite my lip to hide the smile "sure, just let me get ready" I say. He nods and disappears behind the door. I get in the shower, but all I can think about is last night, flashes are coming back and I cannot believe I did that with a stranger. I get out and dry off putting on the same outfit. I hear a knock on the door; I put my hair in the towel and answer it. "Ready?" he asks. I flip my hair a shake it "yeah." I say flipping back up. "You aren't going to get up girlyed up?" he asks. "Nope I don't really feel like it" I say. "You're an odd girl, you know that" he says as I follow him out of the room. Even that made me blush…
Chapter 6: Landon
Asking Kimberly to breakfast was easier than I thought, she just said yes like she didn't just storm into my room accusing me of sleeping with her. I don't blame her and not remembering much can be scary, so she had the right to accuse me…I'm surprised she had the guts to confront me, which is another thing that I find interesting about this girl. I want to ask her all these questions, but that would creep her out, but it's not my fault she is so mysterious.
We pull into the parking lot of Denny's and the waitress seats us at a booth in the back of the restaurant. The dark, haired waitress asks what we would like to drink we both say coffee at the same time. She laughs under her breath and watches out the big window. I'm not sure if she is avoiding conversation or thinking of something to say, so I break the ice and ask "so why Vegas?" she looks at me for a minute, her green eyes; a pool secrets I hope to unveil. "If I tell you why you will just laugh" she says tearing little pieces of the napkin apart. "I promise, I won't laugh." I say. She takes a few breaths and chews on her lip. "I remember the day I got accepted into college, my mom was so happy that I was going to carry out the success my dad had planned for me" she scoffs lightly. "At the time I was pretty excited, you know. I was going to achieve all these awards and become the greatest lawyer, like the kind who can spot the lie on the suspects face and convict them, just like the T.V. shows, but now… I would do anything to drop out." She shakes her head and continues to look out of the window. This conversation got deep and quick, but I know exactly how she feels. "So why don't you?" I ask. "What drop out?" she laughs at my question. "If I had a choice I would have a year ago, but my mom, she would never forgive me." she says. "My dad had all these plans for me. He loved me and wanted me to go big. I loved him so much all I wanted to do was make him happy." The waitress comes over and asks what we want to eat, Kimberly orders waffles with strawberries and I order some deli sandwich that looks like it could cure a hangover. When our food comes we eat in silence, but the way she talked about her dad makes me thinks something happen to him. I want to ask, but that's a sore subject even if years have passed. "You haven't really answered my question" I smirk. "I was hoping you would forget you're smarter than you look" she says. "Ouch" I laugh. "Why did I choose Vegas?" she says pondering my question. "I was reading this book and saw this line one of the characters said, what's the point in living if you don't at least try to do something remarkable." She recites. "And it hit me, I haven't actually achieved anything, so I was talking to a friend about finding me and how she already left salt lake a long time ago, then kiddingly she said hey, maybe she went to Vegas. When I got in the car it was the first place that popped into my head." I nod my head slowly and try not to laugh, not because it's ridiculous, I don't think that all, but because this little, shy girl thinks she can find herself in Vegas. All she is going to find are drunken people puking around every corner… "See I knew I couldn't tell anyone" she says looking irritated. "No, I'm not laughing it's just cute you would try to find you in a place that parties all night and sleeps all day." I say. "I knew I wasn't going to actually find myself, I just needed a break, I guess and I definitely got It." she laughs. "When are you leaving?" I ask, but I don't really want to know. "I'm not sure I said a few days, but I don't really want to go home I just want to keep going." she says. "Like where?" I ask "I don't know and frankly, I don't really care as long as I don't have to read another text book." She says. "But I guess I will have to leave at least on Monday. I have work, which doesn't blow as much as college." Monday that means tomorrow… then I have to at least make this last night count, not by taking her virginity or anything, but something she will at least remember without having to throw up. "What if I take you out on a friendly date for your last day in Vegas? Something that you can actually remember though" I ask. "A friendly date" she laughs. "Yeah, or acquaintances' whatever you want to call it, but I think friends is a better fit, since you kissed me last night." I smirk playfully. "You kissed me" she retorts. "You said I could" I say. She rolls her eyes "fine, but since we are friends, then there will be no kissing, or touching, and no puking!" she says, but I don't agree. "Deal" I lie I know by the end of the night I will have kissed her at least once, I have to. "Then I will see you tonight." She says. I pay the bill and watch her walk out to the truck; she didn't even bother to pay. God damn, why does that make me more interested?
Chapter 7: Kimberly.
Landon drives us back to the hotel, once I get to my room he says "see you tonight", I just nod and close the door behind me. Something is weird about him, but not in a bad way. He is the first guy I have taken an interest in since, Jason dumped me. I'm not complaining that's for sure, but why would he want to take some girl he barely knows out on a date… oh I mean friendly date. I knew once I told him no kissing he wouldn't actually agree, but neither do I really, I just want to see how long he can handle it. I wonder where we are going, this time I will ask if he wants to spilt the bill, I let him pay, because of the scare this morning, but I can at least ask tonight. I still have a few hours and I don't plan on getting all dressed up anyway. I grab my black bikini from my bag and put it on in the bathroom. I grab a towel and make sure I don't run into Landon like last night. I walk down to the pool and find a long chair to lie on, I plug my headphones into my phone and plop them into my ears. I lay in the sun for about 20 minutes until I can't stand the heat, so I stand in the pool for a moment then go back to my chair. I put my hair up in a messy bun and pull on my sunglasses. I can see a group of guys looking over in my direction, like I'm pray or something. One actually points vaguely and tells his buddy something. If one comes over here and ruins my relaxing moment I will be so pissed. The waiter at the snack bar comes over and asks if I want anything to drink, "bloody Mary, please" I say. He nods and soon comes back with my drink. I sip it slowly letting it cool me off a bit. I listen to my music while I tan in the sun. I get up and sit on the side of the pool and let my feet hang over the edge, when I see one of those guys walking toward me. I get up quickly and walk back to my seat pretending I didn't see him, but when I sit he is already approaching my seat. "Hey, pretty lady" he says and I wonder how long it took him to come up with that. I pull my glasses down on my nose and look at him "can I help you?" I ask. "You could help me by giving me your number, since I lost mine." He says. Not the way that pick up line goes "can you just go away?" I ask and his face hardens. "I was just trying to be nice" he says. "By hitting on me?" I ask. "I- was- I" he stutters. "I'm not interested in men." I say and that catches his attention. "Oh, wow I'm sorry." He says and he walks away slowly. I shake my head and sit back in my seat closing my eyes to finally relax. "You could have told me you were into girls" a guy says. I jump at his voice and see it's Landon. "I'm not really" I say embarrassed he heard me. "I wouldn't have known by the way you were all over me last night" he says making himself comfortable in the seat next to me. "Again, I did not and I was drunk I wasn't thinking clearly." I say looking straight forward. "So, if I were to kiss you right now you wouldn't make me stop?" he asks. My body stiffens and I can't think of a response. "That's what I thought" he laughs. I sip my drink and try not notice him glancing at me. I look over at him and he pretends he wasn't looking. "So, why are you in Vegas?" I ask. "Road trip with the guys " He points over to the pool where the Jake and Ryland are standing. "Yet you are over here talking to me when this is a guy's trip" I say shaking my head in disapproval. "Nah, they don't mind. They are both in college so that's all they talk about even while on a break. Since, I didn't go I find it boring." He explains. I nod slowly "why didn't you go to college?" I ask. He takes a minute to answer, but all I am focusing on is his bare chest and grey swimming trunks. I look at his eyes and mouth, the scuff that makes him look so sexy. I have to turn around to grab my drink, so I don't get caught checking him out. "I just didn't want the responsibility and now my parents are mad at me, blah, blah, blah. Having fun is my way of living." He says and I envy him for a moment. "So, your parents, why are they mad?" I ask hoping he doesn't mind. "They wanted me to become an engineer like my dad, but I hated it whenever my dad would say I would follow in his footsteps. I told him I didn't want to one day and a huge argument erupted, so I left." He shrugs. "What do you want to do then?" I ask. "I'm not sure" he says, but I can tell he is hiding something, but I don't pry. We sit in awkward silence for a while. "I want to be a photographer" he finally says. I look at him and smile. "I have been since high school. I have won a few contests and done a few shoots for couples, but my dad disapproves." "Well, I think it's great." I say without really thinking. He smiles lightly. "I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life or anything, but you should probably try to make up with your parents. The worst thing would be if something happen to them and you both were still mad. It's the worst" I shake my head. He nods and looks back at the pool "maybe I will one day." The silence swarms us, but not the awkward kind. "Want to get in with me?" I ask. "sure." and we walk over to the water I can see the guys from earlier; they look confused, which just makes me laugh. I really told them I was interested in girls…
I head back to the room while Landon was socializing with his friends, who were checking out some chicks. I get back to my room and get dressed into a purple tank top and some white shorts. I decide to go out on the strip and see what stores I can come across.
I walk around for about an hour and found a clothing store; I bought an outfit, nothing amazing just something I could wear for tonight. It's a blue- black dress that goes about mid-thigh and has a light brown belt around the waist. It's pretty cute and casual, so I bought it. I return back to the hotel and notice its only 5:30pm. I wonder when he wanted to go out I never asked. I hope soon, because this hotel is boring. I sit and watch T.V. while munching on some chips from the vending machines down the hall.
I hear my phone buzz on the nightstand next to me; I look and notice Rachel, my sister, has called 3 times… I haven't talked to her in years not since our huge public fight at my aunt's house. I told her she was being selfish moving away when our dad had just died, then she went on about how it was her life, and she left. That was 2 years ago and I haven't talked to her since. I call her back quickly, but she doesn't pick up the first time, so I call her again. "Kimberly!?" she says sounding relived, yet panicked. "Kimberly, oh my god I don't know what happen, please just… oh my god." Rachel, what is going on!?" I ask concerned. "I don't know, it's mom, she called me and said she was hurting and, then I heard sirens and… I think something happened!" she says sounding like she is crying. "What do you mean?" I ask confused. "She was trying to say something, but the sirens got so loud I couldn't understand, and then the line went dead. Kim, something is wrong where are you, aren't you with her?" she asks. "No, no I'm not" I say feeling guilty. "Where you then!?" she yells. "Away for- for school" I lie. "You need to get home, I'm flying in tonight, please keep me updated, alright?" she sniffles through the phone. "Alright, I will hurry and I will check the hospitals in salt lake." I say almost choking on the words. "Okay, I love you Kim, you know that right?" she asks crying harder now. "I know that, Rach. I always have." I say tearing up a bit. I hang up and get all my clothes into my bag duffle bag as quickly as I can. I was about to open the door and run out, but I remembered Landon, I can't just leave... I look around the room and get a piece of paper and a pen. I write him a letter as fast as I can while keeping my handwriting legible and fold it around his door knob. I get to my car and struggle with the keys, but finally get them inside the ignition. I drive thinking about all the things that could be wrong with my mom, but I push those aside and think positive. Every hour seems like I am driving backwards farther away from my destination. I take deep breaths and hold down the urge to cry. I have a bad feeling, a very bad feeling…
Chapter 8: Landon
A few hours earlier…
I get dressed and ready to knock on Kimberly's door, but the guys are giving me a hard time about her. "It's not like that guys. I just want to help this girl have a good time" I say. "Landon and Kimberly sittin' in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G" Jake and Ryland sing in unison. "Oh wow very mature. Please, grow up. You're in college." I tease. They laugh and resume watching T.V. "be back soon" I say turning the door knob. A piece of paper falls to the ground, I pick it up with curiosity.
"Landon, I am so sorry I won't be able to make our "friendly" date tonight. Something has happen at home and I need to get back quickly. Go out with the guys and have fun. – Kim.
I stare at the note confused and disappointed. I really hope she isn't lying. I fold the note up and put it in my pocket. I wonder what happen and why she wouldn't have told me face to face. I sigh and sit on the couch between the guys. "Looks like she left" I say. "Looks like she ditched you before you could ditch her" Ryland says. "I guess so…" I laugh lightly. She didn't even leave her number…
Tuesday
I wake up in my own bed. it feels so nice to be home. I still think about Sunday night how Kimberly just left unexpectedly, but I try not to. I see a picture of my family on the wall in my hallway. I remember what Kimberly had said to me that day at the pool. She said not to hold a grudge, because you never really know when something bad could happen to the person and it makes me think why not give my parents a little visit. I put on some clothes and hop in the car before I change my mind.
I pull into the drive way of my old house and see my mom's car parked out front. That means my dad is at work, which is what I was hoping for. He doesn't like me, but my mom begged me not to leave. I knock feeling weird not being able to walk in on my own. I stand patiently waiting, then I hear little footsteps approaching. It has been about a year since I have stepped foot into what used to be my home. The door opens slowly "who is-" she stares at me and tears form in the corners of her slightly wrinkled eyes. "Landon?" she asks smiling. "Hi, mom" I say. "Oh my goodness!" she says and hugs me tightly. I put my arms around her and realized how much I have missed the smell of my mom's hair and her warm hugs. Why didn't I come earlier? "Oh baby, come in." she smiles brightly. I walk into the house, which doesn't look much different. I turn around and see my mom staring at me again. "I am so glad you are here" she smiles. "I am so sorry for—"her bottom lip trembles. "Oh gosh, look at me. Landon I have missed you so much" she says. "I have missed you too, mom. I came by to apologize, but I didn't want to show up while Jim was here" I say. "I understand, he will be here in an hour. That gives us some time to catch up." She says smiling her contagious smile.
We sit in the kitchen and I eat some left over scrambled eggs just like I was a kid again. I find out the cat I use to torture died a few weeks ago and my mom's friend got into a bad car accident, but she is doing okay she thinks… then she told me about Jim, my dad, how he got a promotion and is in the running to taking over the business. Then she asks what I have been doing… "Not a lot. I have been doing photo-shoots and contests, but mostly I have been working at a bar in Summerlin. I got a condo there and close to some old friends from high school. We just got back from Vegas for a guy's night." I explain. "How fun" she says. I hear the front door open and close and my body goes stiff. My mom bites her lip and puts her finger to her lips. "Honey, we have a visitor." She says. "Who?" he walks into the kitchen and sees me, his son, but in his eyes a no good fool. "Landon?" he says almost cheerfully. "Jim" I say. "What brings you here?" he asks. "What can't a son come by and say hi to his parents every once and a while" I say. "Well, he can, but if that every once and a while means every year, then yeah." He says. we sit there staring at each other I can see how disappointed in me he is. "I came by to apologize" and that catches his attention. "Really?" he asks. "Yes, I am sorry for not going to college, but I still to this day do not regret my decision. I have my own path and you have yours I am sorry for not following yours. Can you forgive me?" I ask. He rubs his beard and itches the top of his grey head. "Son, I have never been mad at you just upset you didn't want to be like your old man. It made me feel like I wasn't your role model." He says. "I just wanted you like me. I except who you are and I am sorry for not doing this earlier." I nod and for the first time in a year I hug my dad. I thought this was going to be the scariest time in my life, but it was just the closure I needed to feel almost whole again, unfortunately something is still missing and I will find it.
Chapter 9: Kimberly
I sit in the dark room where everything smells clean and all the walls are white. My eyes are puffy from crying for hours. Rachel, my sister flew here from Colorado and has been sitting in the waiting room, because she can't stand to see the state my mom is in. I can't either, but I can't help but feel guilty. Maybe if I was with her she wouldn't have gone out so late to get groceries, instead I wasn't there and she was hit head on by a drunk driver. She has so many cuts and bruises and bandages everywhere I can't really recognize her. It scares me to think I will have to live without her. She just wanted me home, but I was selfish. Here I am sitting next to her bed hoping she will wake up and tell me everything will be alright, even though I should be the one telling her that, but I know she would say it just to comfort me. I want to feel her hand brush through my hair and her kiss my fore head. Instead she lies still with various medicines pumping through her veins and a machine stabilizing her heart. "Mom, please." I barely whisper. "I just need you to wake up… please, mom. I am so sorry. I shouldn't have left this is my fault." I wipe the tears away as I lay my head next to my mom's hand. "Rachel's here. She came as soon as she could. She told me that she loves me and you of course." I say to her even though she probably can't hear me. "I remember that one time when we were kids and she was trying to play house with me, but she would get mad because I would want to be the mom. She told me I couldn't be because she was and that I could be a baby, but then I would get mad because she called me a baby?" I laugh lightly at the memory. "Then you would come in and be the dad and help us get along." I close my eyes as more tears come "I don't want you to leave mom. I don't think I am strong enough. Dad left so fast and I was mad at him. I don't want my last words to you to be an argument. I want to be able to tell you I love you, for many more years." I get up from my chair, kiss my mom's banged head and walk out to the waiting room. "How is she?" Rachel asks as soon as she sees me. "Not any better" I say. "This isn't you fault, Kim." She whispers. "It is. I shouldn't have left. I was being selfish all she wanted was me home and safe, but I was in Vegas drinking and hanging out with a random guy. It is my fault Rachel if I was just there mom wouldn't have gone to the store, maybe if I went I would have gotten in the crash and none of this would be happening." I say crying even more. "Don't you dare say that, Kimberly you know damn well this isn't your fault Mom is going to be alright, she always said that Bennett's are strong and can get through anything life throws at them. I promise" she says hugging my shaking body. "Please don't promise me anything" I say. I know it might seem negative, but I know even she isn't sure our mom is going to make it.
I fall asleep on the wall outside of my mom's room. The machines are too noisy and give me nightmares, so I can't sleep in there. A nurse nudges me awake and tells me to go get something to eat, but I tell her to go away. I don't mean to be rude, but food is the last thing on my mind right now. If her mom or child or whoever she loved was dying in the room behind her she wouldn't want to eat either. I stare up at the ceiling and ignore my rumbling stomach. I check on my mom, who doesn't look any different and decide to find Rachel. "I'm starving" she whines. I didn't want to admit it, but so am I. "let's go find something to eat" I say feeling bad for being rude to the nurse. I drive to the closes Burger King and manage to eat a small cheese burger. I feel better after, but the stinging sensation in the back of my nose won't go away. It threatens to make me cry every time I see something that reminds me of my mom. Rachel looks exhausted I haven't seen her without makeup on in years, her formal grey skirt is messy and her shirt has tear marks. We both look like we lived under a rock. I sigh and look up at her "you can go back to the house and take a shower. I want to stay a bit longer" I say. "I don't know if I can" she says. "I understand. If you do there is a key under the mat" I say. She nods and we drive back to the hospital. I take the elevator to the 2nd floor and walk back to where my mom is. I sit next to her bed and watch her body rise and fall, only from the machines. I wonder if she is breathing herself. I take her hand in mine and just stare at her for a moment. "I love you." I say.
After a while I have to leave the room to sleep, again I sit on the wall and doze off. It's been a week and nothing seems to have changed.
Another nurse wakes me; she seems panicked. "What, what is it?" I ask still half asleep. "Your mother, she is awake" she smiles. I burst into the room to see her laying there smiling. Her lips are chapped and bleeding, but she is still so beautiful and awake! "Mom" I gasp hugging her as lightly as I can. "Baby" she says her voice sounds like she swallowed rocks. "I was so worried" I say crying into her shoulder. "I'm okay now" she says. "Mom, I love you so much and I am so sorry for leaving!" I say. "Oh baby girl, don't apologize. I love you so much. Everything is going to be alright" She kisses my fore head weakly. "I have to get Rachel" I say. I run to the waiting room and see her lying in a chair, "Rach, she's up" I say and her head pops up we both run back to the room excited. "Oh Rachel!" my mom says trying to sound happy, but her throat is so dry. We sit together for an hour and talk about old times and how as soon as my Mom gets out we are all going to the park we use to play at as kids and go on lunch dates. Rachel is going to stay for a month or so and help out while I work. "I love you girls so much" she says. Her eyes look hazy and her head won't stay up. "Mom, are you alright?" I ask. "Kimmy, I just want you to know how proud of you I am and if you decide to change your path in life that I am okay with it. I love you so much, baby and don't you ever give up okay?" she smiles. "Mom, why are you saying this? You are going to be okay!" I say starting to worry. "And Rachel, I love you beyond words and I am also proud of you. Graduating top of the criminal work force is hard, but you fought, just like a Bennett would" she coughs a bit. "I love you bo-" the machines cut her sentence off as the all the monitors begin beeping and lights flashing, then doctors running in shouting all I can do is cry and shake my mom "wake up! You are going to be okay mom wake up" a doctor pulls me away while I yell for my mom, but nothing is working everything is going black all the noises are becoming one loud ringing. A nurse takes me outside and holds me tight as I sob into her scrubs "is- is she going to be o- okay" I stutter. "I'm not sure what's wrong, sweetie but she is strong." She smiles. I cry harder and soon Rachel takes the nurses place, we stand outside for 4 hours, hoping to god our mom will be okay. A doctor comes out to where we are sitting, we stand quickly and he looks at us with sadness in his eyes. More tears blur my vision "is she?" I ask. He shakes his head and everything in my world crashes. My mom is gone and all I have left are the memories, which aren't enough. Rachel is staring at the ground motionless; silent tears streaming down her cheeks. my knees give out and I sit on the cold concrete wishing all this was a nightmare, but I know I won't be waking up to my mom kissing my fore head or tucking me into bed. No more breakfasts or famous pot roast, she won't see my kids or be at my wedding. She's gone. Forever…
2 weeks later…
I sit quietly on the bench in the church. Everyone here is too quiet, some of my mom's friends and my dad's even my grandparents. It's weird not having her sitting by me, instead I have to get up in front of these people and tell them how she is in a better place, and all that bull. I see the casket in the front of the church; I can't stop staring at it. My mom is inside that, not breathing; lifeless. It's hard to fathom that she is really gone… I want to see her, but not like that. I wipe a small tear from my cheek. The pastor says a speech and calls up Rachel, who then introduces me. I stand in front of these people not really looking at any of their faces. "My mom, she was an amazing person." I begin. "It really was hard finding out, but now I know she is out of any pain she was feeling. I couldn't have asked for a better mom than her, it is so hard losing her and knowing she isn't coming back. I know I am supposed to go on about how she is in a better place and all, but I just want her back, here with us, smiling her beautiful smile and making everyone laugh, but she isn't and after a while that will be okay, but today it isn't. All I know right now is she is with my dad, once again I know how much she missed him and being with him makes her happy. I appreciate everyone coming today and thank you for all the prayers and flowers." I say having to keep myself from crying several times. "Thank you all again The burial will" I take a sharp breath and struggle to finish my sentence. "Will be outside" I finally say. I get out of the church as fast as I can. I sit on the back wall of the church I cry until I feel as if I might pass out. "Why?" I ask. "Why did you leave?" I slide down the wall and burry my face in hands. When I finally gather myself I dust off my black dress and walk back inside. I go to the back when I think someone catches my eye, but I don't turn around to confirm it. Rachel leads everyone out while I stay behind the crowd. I watch them carry the casket out and my heart manages to break even more. Tears threaten my eyes again, but I keep them back. I follow as the crowd moves outside, the pastor says a few words and Rachel sets a bouquet of roses on the casket. I walk up and place a picture of me and my mom on top of the flowers along with a family portrait. I stare at the casket not able to look away; Rachel touches my arms and gently walks me back to the grass. I blink through the silent tears I tried so pathetically to hold back. They begin lowering the casket and I want to call out for them to stop, but I don't. A part of me hopes my mom could actually still be alive, but I know that's not true. They start to shovel the dirt and I can't stay to watch. I walk to a tree hidden by some bushes and silently cry there. "Kimberly" a voice says. I don't turn to see who it is, probably just a friend of hers who wants to say how sorry they are. "I just need to be alone, I'm sorr-" I stop when I turn around and realize who said my name… Landon. "Hi" he says weakly. "Landon." I say not believing he is really here… "My mom she knew yours" he says. "Used to." I say. "Yeah, I am really sorry." He says. "Yeah, so am I" I shake my head. "It's just so hard. She really-" I begin crying again. "Its okay, Kim." He says stepping closer. I don't let him hesitate and hug him. "I'm sorry I got your suit dirty" I try to laugh. "It's fine don't worry about it." he smiles. I look at him, then see Rachel just standing over her grave; alone. "I really need to go, but I hope I will see you again." I say. "I hope so to, maybe this time you will leave your number" he smirks. I nod "I will be in the church in a bit." I say and walk over to Rachel. I place my hand gently on her back. "Kim, can you believe it?" she asks. "No, I can't." I admit. "I never thought…" she stops speaking. "I know." I say. She drops to her knees and sheds every painful moment into the dirt. I kneel beside her, rubbing her back in slow circles. "Everything is going to be alright" I whisper, knowing my mom is saying the same thing.
Chapter 10:
After trying to console my broken sister she gathers herself after a very much needed break down. Unlike me I have had several, but somehow I find a way to cry even more than the times before. We walk back into the church where most people have left except family and Landon… "Who is that?" Rachel asks. "Someone I know" I smile. "From?" she asks again. "I will tell you later, alright." I fake smile through the all fake we're so sorry for your loss, and the awkwardly long hugs. After a while everyone leaves and the last person I see is Landon and his mom. I don't recognize her, but I guess she was a friend of my moms. I walk up to them and his mom greets me. "Kimberly, you are so strong." She says. "Thank you" I say. "If you need anything you just call. I knew your mother for years, but we lost contact. Its times like these where just one phone call could have made a difference" she says getting choked up. "I will be outside, again I am so sorry" she smiles and hustles out of the church. She is the only one who sounded truly sincere with her apology. "I had to listen to her the whole ride here talking about how she remembers the cute little daughters, Abigail had" he says using my mom's name. I swallow hard and smile weakly. "I don't remember her" I admit. "She said you wouldn't since you were only around 3 years old" he shrugs. We stand in the awkward silence that death always leaves. "If there is anything I can do to help I will do it." he says sounding determined. "It's okay, really." I say. "Kimberly, I understand you are hurting, but don't let pain devour your life, eventually it will make a hole so deep nothing will be able to fill It." he says. I look at the ground and realize he is right, but it's just so hard. "I just miss her… a lot." I whisper trying not to cry. "I know." He says hugging me. "Everything will be alright." He reassures, just like my mom would.
I introduce Landon to Rachel and she seems to like him. I think about literally bumping into Landon when we first met and realize it is a small world. Two people meeting in one place thinking to never seen each other again, end up reuniting at a funeral… it seems funny to me. "So, you still owe me that friendly date" he smirks. "I guess I do, huh?" I smirk back. I grab a pen and napkin from my glove box and write down my cell phone number. "This better not be that reject hotline" he laughs. "It isn't I didn't have time to memorize it" I laugh lightly. "Well, I will call you tonight, okay?" he asks. "Okay, I'll be waiting" I wave as he gets into the car with his mom. I get into mine and Rachel is smiling ear to ear at me. "What?" I laugh. "You like him!" she squeals. "I do not. We're just friends." I protest. "Yeah, friends. What happen in Vegas, Kimmy." She asks. "Hey, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas…" I wink and drive home. She whines practically the whole ride home, which I haven't been since… my mom… died. I pull in and stare at the house; I gather every ounce of courage and open the car door. Rachel takes my hand and we walk to the front door together. When I walk in the smell of my mom hits me hard and makes my heart ache. I walk to the kitchen and see the grocery list she made, but forgot to take like always. I smile and touch the pad of paper… I look on the refrigerator and see a note…
"Kimmy, I went out for groceries I didn't know what time you would be home, but I love you and hope to see you soon.
Love always, Mom."
I grip the note to my chest; a desperate attempt to feel my mom again. If I would have just come home… maybe, just maybe she would be alive. Rachel touches my shoulder in comfort. "She loved us. That's all that matters in the end" she smiles weakly. I go to my room and everything Is the same as I left it, then I see Rachel standing in front of the room I forbid myself to go in. "Rach, I'm not sure-" "I need to" she cuts me off. I take her hand, if she is I am. We walk inside and everything is the same, buts feels so different. I look at the bed where the side of hers isn't fully made and her closet door is cracked just a bit, because she said she can still smell my dad whenever he would light up a pipe. I begin to get teary eyed just thinking about it. I sit on the edge of the bed where my mom last sat and curl up on the pillow. I take in a deep breath and I feel like my mom could be lying with me. Rachel joins me and we lay in the bed together, before I doze off… The scent of my mom is the last thing I remember… the last thing I had.
Chapter 11: Landon
It just had to be a funeral… out of all places to have that 'oh my god it's you moment' it had to be her MOM'S funeral. I hated the look in her eyes I have never seen someone so sad and broken before. I barely know this girl, but something tells me I should take the time and actually get to know her. I saw her standing at the podium giving the heart wrenching speech; I knew she was trying so hard not to cry. When I saw her by that tree I just had to talk to her a little part of me was hoping I could help her be happy. I saw her smile a few times, but its was just full of pain. I got her to go out with me, which is a good sign, but I'm not even sure where I am taking her yet. "hey, mom?" I ask. "yes, hun." She says cutting up some sausage. "where would you take a girl out on a date?" I ask. "some place that is special to her or a nice restraunt. Why?" she asks this time turning to stare at me. "just wondering." I shrug and pretend to be occupied by my phone. "is it Kimberly?" she smiles. "funny thing, I say. we met in Vages." "really, and now you guys meet here! Oh my gosh… you know what that means." She squeals. "mom" I whine. "destiny!" she laughs. "oh take her out to a nnice restraunt and then a walk in the park" "alright" I say. "well, what are you waiting for go call her!" she says pushing me toward the living room. I dial the number she gave me and fight with my head to press the call button. When I do the phone rings three times and I think she might not answer, when I hear her voice on the other end. "hello?" suddenly I cant say hi back, "Kimberly?" I ask. "Landon?" she asks. "yes." I say and more silence. Say something you idiot! "are you still up for our friendly date tonight?" I ask. "Of course. I will text you my address. What time?" she asks. "6" I say. "I will be ready." She says. I hang up and my palms are sweating from just speaking to her over the phone, I can't imagine how sweaty I will be when I see her.
I shower and get dressed, my mom comes in the guest bedroom and grooms me. I let her since I haven't seen her in a year, so I might as well let her have this moment. "you look so handsome" she smiles. "thanks. I will be home in a few days. I say and walk out to my truck. it's a six hour drive to salt lake, but I plan on getting a hotel anyway. Maybe even see her again tomorrow…
I finally arrive on her street, I see her house and pull into the drive way. I walk to the front door and knock. I hear footsteps then the door opens "hi" she says out of breath. "Hey" I say back. "Why don't you come in, I will only be a minute." She says opening the door wider. She sprints off to the back of the house. "You will be okay, right?" I hear her ask. "Of course, I need alone time anyway. Go have fun, but not too much!" I hear her sister say. "If you need anything, please call okay" Kim says. "I promise." "Now zip this." I smile and imagine what she could be wearing. When Kimberly walks back out her sister is by her side, she is wearing a little black dress with a light brown belt. "What happen to I don't feel like getting ready?" I tease. "I thought I would try to look decent for tonight." She says. "Well, you look very nice" I smile. "Thank you, ready?" she asks. "Bye, Rach." She waves and we walk to the truck together. I decide to make the restaurant a surprise, Kimberly pouts when I don't tell her. When we arrive at the Lounton Ressi, which is a very expensive Italian restaurant, Kimberly gasps. "Holy cow." We walk inside and the waiter seats us. After a while Kimberly orders the 3 cheese pasta and I get the shrimp and lobster combo. "I'm really glad you called" she says taking a bite of pasta. "Really?" I ask. "Yeah, I needed out for a while. Rachel says it's good to get my mind off… things." She says with a sad tone. "I understand." I smile. "Anyway, your mom seems really nice" she says changing the subject. "she is, I took your advice and made up with my dad, so everything is back to normal." I say. "That's great!" she says. "You know, I bet none of them were really mad at you" "you're right, my dad just wanted me to be like him" I admit. Silence stretches while we eat, but Kimberly breaks it. "I decided I'm done with college" she says. "Really, why?" I ask. "It isn't making me happy and that's what I need to focus on" she says. "What makes you happy, Kimberly?" I ask. "I'm not sure yet, but I am determined to find It." she says.
After dinner I take her to the closest park and we sit in the grass overlooking a pond. The breeze is warm and Kimberly looks so pretty under the moonlight. I try not to think about how she makes me feel, but the feelings deny to be ignored. "Do you ever think about the stars?" she asks. "No, not really." I say as we lay in the grass. "My mom use to tell me how a star is for every soul that has gone to heaven. They light up so they aren't forgotten, but I don't understand how people can find their lost ones." She says. "Maybe it's the one the shines brightest to them." I say. I catch a glimpse of a smile on her lips as she stares up at the sky. "Kimberly?" I say. "yes?" she says back. "can I kiss you?" I smile. she looks at me and smiles back "you don't have to ask." I lean over her and kiss her soft lips gently, at first she seems shy, but I feel her let loose after a moment. We spend time laying with eachother talking about being kids and I find myself fascinated with every word she speaks.
When we decide to leave I drop her off at her home. I walk her to the front door, "goodnight, Kimberly." I say. "goodnight, Landon." She smiles. I kiss her once more and watch her enter the house. I drive to a hotel and check in to a room, it doesn't take long for me to fall asleep.
Chapter 12: Kimberly
I wake up in my moms bed, but Rachel is missing. I find her in the kitchen making breakfast. "moring" she smiles. "moring?" I say confused. "just thought I would make some breakfast" she explains. "I see that" I laugh. she hands me a plate of scrambled eggs and toast and we sit at the dining table together. "so, how did the date go last night" she asks. I roll my eyes not bothering to argue with the fact it wasn't an actual date, we both knew it was. "it was fine, he took me to dinner and then we went down to a park and talked a bit" I say shrugging like it wasn't a big deal, actually it is, Landon took me out last night, I can't get over the fact that an attractive man I met in Vegas took me out on a date. "okay, it was amazing, we kissed and talked about being kids. He is really something, Rachel!" I say. "I can tell." She smiles. "Mom would have loved to see you this happy." I smile a bit "you think?" "yes, I know for a fact. Landon seems like a great guy, I know you probably wish she could have met him, but I'm sure she was watching your little date, and knowing mom looking away when you kissed" she laughs. "I really miss her, Rach. Everything is so different without her." I sigh as a tear drops down my cheek. "I know, Kim. I miss her too." She says. I wipe my eyes dry and take the dishes to the kitchen, I hate this empty feeling I get every time I think of my mom. I never knew how much she could change a person just by walking into a room; she could make a sad person laugh in a matter of seconds. Now that she is gone who is going to help me do my hair for dates and tell me how grown up I look, how I am supposed to get good advice? I am so lost without her. I walk back to my mom's room, where I have been spending the majority of time milling around. I sit on the edge of the bed and look around the room. I lean back on to the pillows and breath in the fading scent. The buzzing from the night stand makes me jump a bit, I look at the number and realize Landon is calling. I smile and answer it "hey" "morning" he says and I think I can hear his smile. "did you sleep well?" he asks. "kind of" I say. "want to go out for some coffee?" he asks. "haven't you heard of playing hard to get?" I laugh. "you aren't going to play that card are you?" he asks. "not yet" I say. "I will never understand you girls" he laughs. "so, is that a yes on coffee?" "yeah, I can meet you in a few minutes." I say. "or I can just pick you up" he says. I smile at his offer "alright" I say. "see you in a bit" he says. I hang up and sprint to my room. I rummage through my closest for something casual, but cute and like always I find nothing… I throw clothes out of my dresser and on to the floor, "kim, what in the world?" Rachel says. "what?" I say looking at the ground "I cant find anything too wear" "wear this" she says holding up a light blue button down blouse. "with some capris or something" she smiles and tosses me the shirt. "You're the best" I say hugging her with one arm as I shoo her out of my room so I can change. Rachel may be bland with her wardrobe, but she was my age once and way cooler than me when she was in high school. I put on the outfit and admire myself in the long mirror. I braid my hair so I doesn't look like I just woke up, I look around my room for my left sandal, but I can't find it. I lean down to check under my nightstand, but no luck. I hit my elbow on the side of the drawer "owww" I hold my arm close to me… I look at the night stand and pull out the drawer, my old camera sits inside… I take it in my hands and admire it. I haven't used this in atleast 3 years. My dad got it for me for my 16th birthday, but when he died I stopped using it. I click through the pictures, most are of Rachel, when she wasn't being stubborn and yelling at me to stop taking pictures of her, I smile at the memory and continue clicking. I come upon a picture of my mom and dad at the dinner table, it was their one of their anniversaries. I remember my dad asking me to take a picture of my mom's reaction to the candle lit dinner, dozens of roses, and the gorgous dimond necklace. I waited and waited and when she walked in I clicked away, getting the perfect picture of my mom with her eyes wide and her hands over her mouth, you can tell she is smiling. I got one of the both of them wrapped in a hug; their smiles wide. Looking at these bring tears to my eyes. "How long are you going to keep this poor boy waiting?" Rachel yells out. I drop my camera onto my bed and run out into the living room "you didn't say he was here" I say. "he isn't" she laughs. "Rachel!" I yell. "what were you doing?" she asks. "Nothing" I say. she looks at me like im stupid, blinking a few times. "I was looking through some old pictures I took." I finally say. I hear a truck pull into the driveway, Rachel practically tackles me to get to the door first. "he didn't ask you out" I say pushing her from the door. "but I want to seeeee" she whines. "no go away" I protest. We struggle with each other as she tries to squeeze her way around me, but I stop her a few times. "get aw-" three knocks on the door make us freeze. She goes for the door knob and our hands hit as we both try to open it. "will you go away!" I say just as she pulls the door open. Her smile is huge and my face is bright red. "Landon!" She says. "Rachel" he says less enthusiastically and more confused. "Kimmy, will be right out she is using the bathroom" she smiles trying to hide a laugh. "Rachel" I gasp. "no, im not. I m right here" I reassure. "uhm hi" Landon says. "can I leave?" I glare at Rachel. "be safe" she says. I roll my eyes as I shut the door. "sorry, she is such a kid sometimes" I say. "your face is so red" he laughs. "no, it's is not" I turn away so he cant see that it really is. "I like it" he says opening my door. I look at him for a minute before climbing inside. I think he said that only to make my face even redder. He climbs in on the other side and we drive off, we arrive at Starbucks, where Aubrey is probably covering my shifts. The door chimes as we walk inside, I see Aubrey's eyes light up with curiosity as she sees Landon. I wave slightly as we wait in line. "So, what is your favorite?" he asks. "Carmel frap." I say. when it's our turn to order Landon gets 2 carmel frapachinos and since Aubrey can't ask questions while on her shift she stands behind the counter glancing over at us the whole she fidgets around. "who is that?" landon asks. "Aubrey, she's an old friend." I say. "she looks like she has to pee" he says. I almost spit out my coffee I laugh so hard. "she cant migle while on shift and seeing I am here with you is making her head go crazy" I explain. "what is that suppose to mean?" he asks trying to sound offended. "well, I don't go out with a lot of, attractive, guys" I say quietly. "you think im attractive?" he asks. "well, yeah, I mean look at you…" I say gesturing around his face. "well, look at you" he says doing the same thing to me. I roll my eyes. "Kimberly, youre gorgoues." He says. My cheeks are immedatly on fire, I bit the side of my lip trying to keep from smiling. "why do you have to say those things?" I ask shyly. "because, I like to make you blush" he says. I hide my cheeks with my hands, "hey, now" he laughs. He takes my hand into his and holds it for a minute. I stare at our hands, thinking how bazzare it is to actually have someone showing affection toward me. "Do you want to go somewhere else?" I ask. "Where do you have in mind?" he asks. "there's a lake close by we could go swimming." I say. "I don't have a swimming suit" he says. "so." I smirk. "I don't either." Landon smiles and we quickly run to his truck.
Chapter 13: Landon
Kimberly gives me directions to the lake she was talking about. I help her out of the truck, I can see kids running around yelling and being young. Kimberly looks around for a minute, I wonder what she is thinking. She grabs my hand a pulls me off into the trees. "where are we going?" I ask. "you will see" she turns slightly and smiles. After going under and over tree limbs and bushes we come up on a little downward hill, then I see a little shore and the lake. Its quiet and private... "here we are" she says spreading her arms out toward the water. "what are you embarrassed to be with me in public?" I ask teaslingly. "no, of course not. I just-" "I know, im kidding" I say taking her hand in mine. I don't know what makes me do it, but it was like an urge to hold on and never let go… she smiles timidly and walks over to the water, she kicks off her sandals and then plops down into the sand. "well, I don't know about you, but im getting in" I say starting with the top button of my jeans. "what are you doing!" she turns away quickly I could see the blush on her cheeks. I strip down to my boxers and walk up behind Kimberly. "what ever you are thinking about doing you better not." She says keeping her eyes low. I throw my clothes on top of her head and sprint into the water making a big enough splash to hit Kimberly's legs. She sits there watching me as I wave "come on in" I yell. "im good out here" she yells back. "this was your idea" I say. "well, my 2 seconds of courage faded away and now im not too sure stripping down is a good idea." She says. "of course it is!" I laugh. "come on, I will ever turn around." I say. I see her contemplate it and then roll her eyes. "fine." She sighs. I turn around once she stands, I can hear her unzip her shorts and I feel my feet go numb… I turn around just as Kimberly pulls her shirt over her head, she tosses the blonde curls out of her face. "hey" she shrieks. "you aren't suppose to turn around." "hurry up" I say. she walks a bit closer to the water while she tries pathetically to cover her body with her arms. She steps in and swims over to me. "see, it isn't that bad" I say. "this is the easy part" she laughs. "oh I see I just have to give you a few beers first" I laugh. "well, I would at least want to remember what happens." She says floating on her back. "well, all I have to say about that night is wow…" I say. "I wish I could rember" she whispers. "you know, we could always recreate it" I wink. "without being drunk out of your mind." "and how would that work…" she blushes. I lean in and kiss her lightly "im pretty sure that wasn't how you kissed me." she whispers. I grab the back of her neck and pull her into me and kiss her harder; more desperately. We fumble out of the water, but land in the sand. My hands wandering her entire, wet body, while her fingers play through my hair and grip my back. I love momennts like these… with her. Everything about this girl is perfect I know it might sound cliché, but if that is the only way to describe Kimberly, then so be it. I would use every cliché word, but still none would match how amazing she is. I know we had a drunken night in vegas and then reunited at a funeral, but somehow I feel as if it all was suppose to happen. almost as if we met at the funeral, because she lost someone important, but maybe one day she will gain another, never to replace, but to help fix what has been broken. The kissing dies down as we both get a bit tierd. She lays on my chest as I runmy fingers through her long curls and down her neck. "Landon" she says. "yeah?" "you want to be a photographer, right?" she asks. "well, it's a hobby." I lie. "tell me the truth" she says. "okay, I would like to presue it as a career one day" I admit. "why have you waited?" she asks. "I don't have a lot of motivation, I guess." I say. "if you could go anywhere and take pictures where would it be?" she asks. I take a minute to answer, but I already know where I would go. New Orleans… something about that place is amazing, I would love to go during mardi-gras. "Landon?" Kimberly says snapping me out of my day dream. "New Orleans" I finally say. I can see a slight smile, "why haven't you?" she asks. "I don't know. I guess I haven't really thought about it." I admit. "You know mardi gras is almost here" she says almost as if she could read my mind. "Why don't you just go then?" "I have more important things here" I say. "what if I asked you to go" she asks. "With me." That catches me by surprise… "wait, what?" I say sitting up. "would you go if I asked you to go with me?" she says again. "you want to go?" I ask back. "I want to go anywhere, I just need some company." She smiles. "yes!" I hug her tightly. "when?" "Anytime I have nothing waiting for me" she shrugs. "How about tomorrow?" I ask. "why not?" "then it's a date!" I say helping her to her feet. We get dressed and walk back to my truck. I can't believe we just set a date to go to New Orleans and even better she is actually coming with me.
Chapter 14: Kimberly
I'm going to new Orleans… my first adventure. Not only will this get me out of salt lake, I will also be with Landon, the guy I met in vegas when he fell over me… the guy with mysteriously blue eyes that call my name every time I look at him… "Kim?" I'm snapped out of my day dream of Landon and see Rachel stading in the doorway of my room. "yeah?" I sit up and scoot to the edge of the bed. "I have to get back to colodrado soon." She says in a sad tone. "I'm going to New Orleans tomorrow" I blurt out. I wanted to keep it a secret, because I don't kow how she will react. "wait, what?" she asks. "I want to leave salt lake and mardi gras is soon, so why not" I explain. "is Landon going?" she asks. "yes. I asked him to go with me. I didn't want to go alone" I say. she nods slowly, "what about the house?" she asks. "I can get Aubrey to watch it. I don't know how long I will be gone and I don't want to plan anything I just want to go." I say. "please be careful. I will leave in a few days. get some rest" she smiles and walks away. That was surprisingly easy I was excepting a huge argument… I lay back down on to my bed and snuggle under the covers. I don't know how I am going to fall asleep when I am this excited. I think about all the things Landon and I are going to do and all the interesting things we will see. I finally doze off slipping into a dream of Landon and his beautiful blue eyes.
