This is how I am going to ring in the New Year. Have everyone running away from our favourite tub of lad. WARNING: this fic contains the characteristics of Happy Tree Friends, where guts and gore are frequent.
Ugly Katamari
"Oh," groaned Owen, as he clutched his belly. "I think I ate too much food. And I shouldn't have eaten all those beans."
"Why should I not be surprised?" sniggered Noah.
All was not well at the Total Drama Aftermath studio. Bridgette and Geoff invited all of the contestants of Total Drama series, including close friends, relatives and the new thirteen contestants of the upcoming season, but excluding Alejandro, Blaineley, Chef, Chris and Courtney, to a New Year's Eve party. Unfortunately, Owen ate everything in his path with no regard for manners; even when he could no longer stuff more food and drink down his throat. This all came back to haunt not only him but also a large number of people.
"My, my legs," groaned Owen. "I c-can't feel my legs!"
Noah began to panic as the countdown to the beginning of 2012 commenced.
"TEN…NINE…EIGHT…"
"Oh, I don't think I could make it," groaned Owen.
"THREE…TWO…ONE…HAPPY NEW YE-"
The celebration was interrupted by a loud, long fart. Owen, who was the one who farted, collapsed onto the ground unconscious. Because the ground was somewhat slanted downhill, the fat boy began to tumble. He rolled onto his fist victim: Noah. The unlucky bookworm was flattened like a pancake and he stuck to Owen.
Owen continued rolling. The exact same fate that happened to Noah also happened to Cody, Tyler, Lindsay and Ezekiel. As the pile grew bigger, Katie and Sadie blindly walked into its path. They were too busy gabbing and squealing over Jedward, Justin Bieber and JLS to notice that they were about to become a part of the pile. Even when they did become a part of the pile, they were still gabbing and squealing. Ezekiel, who was still feral, also fell victim to the enlarging pile. Justin, who was admiring his face in the mirror as usual, was absorbed by the pile. Harold was too focused on his Nintendo DS to notice a thing, even after he joined the others in the pile.
Everybody else in the studio had slightly more luck. They all heard Owen cut the cheese and become the nucleus of the most dangerous ball of string ever made. Nevertheless, that did not guarantee that all of them would escape. Beth and her boyfriend Brady, whom she was allowed to bring to the party, were too slow to dodge the pile. DJ was reduced to tears and he begged for his momma when he first caught glimpse of the pile, instead of run like everybody else. Izzy lunged at the pile. So that was three new additions to the pile.
The other party people continued escaping. They rushed out the exit door. Unfortunately, LeShawna, Heather and Eva ran through the door at the exact same time and got caught, holding everybody else behind. They were all submerged into the pile, which crashed through the wall around the door and thus creating a gigantic hole in the wall.
"Now's our chance!" hissed Alejandro, as he, Blaineley and Courtney entered the studio. They realised that it was empty.
"WE MISSED THE PARTY!" screamed Courtney.
"Well duh!" groaned Blaineley.
Suddenly, the pile of party people reached a hill, rolled to the top, and back towards the studio. The pile absorbed Alejandro, Blaineley and Courtney at once. It continued through the studio and out the other side. Josh, who was drunk from partying too much at a nearby pub, was staggering about the streets of Toronto when the pile caused by Owen crushed and attached to him.
The pile gained speed as it headed out of the city and into the suburbs. Not a single innocent bystander, well except for Josh, met an ugly demise. But there were so many witnesses and the incident was televised worldwide. The RCMP even made an attempt to intervene, although all they were doing was following the pile despite all the possibilities to put it to a climax.
Chris and Chef were having a picnic at the top of a cliff, enjoying the beautiful view of the moon. They were also naked, even though it was winter, and they were really having a go with one another. And then came the pile of over a hundred people and it ran right towards the two men. Just after they were infused into the pile, the pile fell of the 100 metre cliff.
And they all lived happily ever after in Hell.
Hopefully the ending did not anger you one bit. You see, I'm just one normal man with a sick mind. I still love most of the contestants though.
Anyway, it's a new year now. Speaking of which, my New Year's resolution is to study harder; especially since I have a Leaving Cert coming my way, which absolutely sucks arse. But I got through my Junior Cert, so I'm sure I'll be grand. So what is your New Year's resolution? Leave your answer in your review, and I shall see you guys again in my future updates.
HAPPY NEW YEAR, DUDES AND DUDETTES!
