A/N- Hi everyone, this is my first published story so I hope you enjoy it! Also, I don't own Twilight, wish I did but I don't. All normal pairings. Set during the summer after the first book. One more thing, if you've already read all of the books and have a good understanding of them just skim over the first three paragraphs, thy just go into a basic description of the Cullens.

Chapter 1

A Beginning to the Story

Alice and Jasper's bedroom, The Cullen House

Hi, I'm Alice. As all of you probably already know I'm a vampire. I live with five other vampires one of whom is my husband Jasper. Our whole family could be considered vegetarians because we refrain from drinking human blood and resort to animal blood, it's not great but we're able to live with it fine. For those of you who don't know me I'm a petite (not short!!!) brunette who is stuck around the age of seventeen. I have short spiky hair and usually golden eyes unless I'm thirsty for blood.

My husband Jasper is tall with blonde hair and an amazing Southern accent. He doesn't talk very much whereas I can talk for hours until somebody (usually Emmett) tells me to shut up. Since Jasper and I joined the Cullen's he's had the hardest time out of everyone adjusting to the vegetarian lifestyle. He's getting better but its going to take time.

The rest of our family includes Carlisle and Esme who act as parent figures, Emmett and Rosalie, and Edward. Carlisle is a doctor and is married to Esme. Emmett and Rosalie are married and go to school with Jasper and me. Edward was the loner of our group for a long time until my new best (girl) friend came along. Edward was the only vampire who hadn't fallen in love throughout his whole life until he met Bella a few months ago. We just went to our prom a couple of days ago. Bella went against her will which was good for me because it meant I got to choose her clothes, do her makeup and do her hair. She acted like she hated it but I had a feeling she appreciated everything I had done for her.

The reason I'm telling you all of this is the other day Bella asked me if there were any funny things that happened when we started a new school. She claimed people must think it was weird that we were so perfect and beautiful which probably led to funny situations. I told her I'd think about it and get back to her so here I am sitting here, thinking about it. There are a lot of funny stories to tell but I'm not sure if she could handle some of them. There are already a huge handful of stories from Forks High School that would have her on her back laughing so hard but there's still the problem of which ones. Some stories I'll probably refrain from telling Bella to save Jasper some humiliation (but of course ill tell you guys). These stories do include sex but keep in mind that Jasper and I are adults and married to each other so it's ok. Other stories center around Emmett, well, just being Emmett who is always funny and finally there are stories that have all of us as a family, which are probably the funniest. One story even has a secret letter from Johnny Depp in it (see, now you're hooked). If all of this isn't enough to get you hooked we also have Edward, Jasper, and Emmett at a co-ed swimming pool in Speedo's, Rosalie walking around school in her underwear, and even fake rumors about me being pregnant (funny huh). If you'd rather have stories about Esme and Carlisle then don't worry, there's a pretty juicy one with them on parents night.

I'd also like to say that under no circumstances is anyone ever allowed to tell Edward, Emmett, Rosalie, Esme, Carlisle, Bella, Charlie, Mike, Jessica, Tyler, or anyone else from this town or the reservation about this story. If you do then believe me I will hunt you down. I could get into big trouble for telling you these stories but they have to be told, they are just too funny. Don't think that because I'm less than five feet tall I can't catch you so beware, as long as you don't tell I will tell you hilarious stories about my family and ……

"Alice, are you up there? It's Bella", called Bella from downstairs. How did I not hear her coming? I guess I was too busy being secretive. Uh-oh I hear Edward and Jasper coming to get me. I've got to get this laptop away fast……

5 hours later

I walked into my room and collapsed onto mine and Jaspers unnecessary bed with him coming in behind me, arms full of shopping bags. I had convinced Bella to come with me shopping (or I had convinced Edward to trick Bella into coming with me) and I had bought bags and bags full of clothes for the whole family. Jasper had just dropped them off for me in everyone else's rooms (what else are husbands for, really???) By this time I couldn't even remember what I had bought. Jasper walked over to our bed and sat down next to me with a sigh before asking what he should have asked ages ago.

"What are you writing?" he said with that southern drawl.

"Nothing" I answered him cautiously.

We had a staring match for about 7 minutes before his funny faces got the better of me and I gave in.

"Well, the other day Bella asked me about any unusual situations we've encountered at any of the many schools we've been to. That got me thinking about al of the funny things that have happened to us over the years so I decided to write a fan fiction about them so the whole world can read about them."

"Huh?" he said with an extremely confused expression on his face. Men.

"I'm writing about all of the funny things that have happened to us over the years, you know like that time you and I were in that closet at school and the janitor sorta walked in on us having…"

"Yeah, I remember, but you can't write that, it's private.

"Don't you want me to be happy?" I answered setting up my trap.

"Well of course I do but it's private." He answered knowing full well I'd get my way in the end.

"Well writing about our memories makes me happy so it should make other people happy too, right?" I said with a sweet tone.

"I guess, just no details please?" he said with a sigh.

"Of course not, that would be weird."(Don't worry I'll sneak a few details in there for you guys).

"If you need any help let me know, I'm sure we could even recreate a couple of those memories if you wanted" he said kissing her.

"Maybe some other time, right now I need to sort through these clothes, you want to help?" I asked him even though we both knew he had no choice in the matter.

"I'd love to" he answered without hesitance.

"Yaaaaaaaaaaay!" I squealed happily.

"Do you have to do that?" he asked me.

"You know you love it." I told him.

"Yeah I guess I do." I knew he did.

For the rest of the night I modeled the new clothes I had bought. He loved every second of it. He especially enjoyed it when I brought out the Victoria's Secret bag. No man can resist a bag with that logo on it. Let's just say Edward had a really big headache and an unforgiving scowl on his face the next day.

A note from Alice: The way I am writing this fanfiction is I write the whole thing in my head with my perfect memory and then transfer every word onto paper later on so I don't have to carry a laptop around everywhere with me. This gives you the ultimate viewing experience but saves me time and effort.

Next time: I will discover the joys of acting and we will also get a look into the guys first gym class at Fork's!!!

A/N 2: I hope everyone enjoyed the first chapter of the story. I thought I'd add a little description of all of the characters for reference. I hope it didn't take up too much of the story. All reviews are greatly appreciated even if it's just a word or two. If there's anything I should change please let me know.