Maybe it's a sign that I'm definitely hopeless but... another kinkmeme fill!
This time, Anon requested the following: "I want a character to act completely over the top stereotypical of their country. "
Cue me jumping on the occasion to write crack for Robert de Sablé. Anon mentioned Hetalia and it was quite hard not to die at the thought of a merge between Robert and Francis... but even if you don't read/watch Hetalia... Let's say that Robert is being impossibly French.
There are things people are better off not knowing. Dark secrets hanging like corpses in the closet. Not that he kept corpses in his closet. Those were just ewww. And really, without a maid to bleach his uniforms, how could he even think of appearing in public? Of course, appearance was very important. Since life devised this awful plot to deprive him of his better... asset. His hair. He was certain this was the reason why he failed to woo Maria. Again, the woman was English. Why would he bother with her - except that she was just that adorable when yelling for him to just shut the hell up. What a woman. He shook his head. This would not do. He shall not dwell on his woes. Frenchmen do not bemoan their fate!
Instead, he silently walked to the cellar to meet with her. Oh, how long he had waited to hold her in his hands and just have her? Months. Months because the dry and hot weather was not good enough. He could here his men talking and drinking. Drinking that God awful thing Sibrand had gotten them from Acre. Beer. The name made him shudder. Just how worse things could get?
Finally, he reached the door. Opened it. And there she was, right were he left her. He made a leaping move towards her - overjoyed at her waiting for him. She was so cold and so beautiful - her dark robe doing nothing to conceal her charms.
"Oh, ma chérie, que de temps perdu à errer sans toi..."
Now... were was that damn corckscrew? Oh, there! He had to struggle a bit in the dark but no matter. Nothing would come between him and her nectar. The first mouthful was Heavenly - he was giddy with joy.
"Ah, mon Bordeaux bien aimé..."
But again, there had to be a killjoy and this time, it was none other than the Supreme Killjoy - Sibrand himself.
"Robert, what are you doing here, there won't be any more roast meat if- what the hell is going on with those sparkles?"
And this was how the rumour spread that Robert was a sparkly french fairy. One very protective of French traditions despite him having stayed clear from the French coasts for decades. Wine was all he needed! And love... but that would wait.
Translation: "Oh my darling, how long I erred without you!"
"My beloved Bordeaux."
I have to admit that I have had that long time crack idea of Robert thinking he could outdrink Sibrand, only to have Maria pwning the both of them... French and their wine...
And normally I hate to have to translate stuff but again, Robert is French and therefore, can speak French during his 'me-time'. And no, I am NOT sorry for what I did. *runs away cackling evilly* And no, I have no shame for smashing the villain's villainious persona. None at all.
