A Simple Kind of Life
Author: Jean
Email: jeansmx@crosswinds.net
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own Jake or Ham or the song used in this fic.
Summary: Jake reflects on the past.
Author's note: The full song at the end is not mine, but the little bits and pieces of lyrics
that are in Italics through the middle are from old poems I wrote. What can I say I
needed original music! Oh and it kind goes without saying now that anything in Italics is
music being sung that the characters can here. You'll get it as you read. Oh an be
warned I cried my eyes out when writing this be prepared for that.
***
Have you ever had one of those moments, the kind that you know will change your life. I
have had a few of those. But the most important one happened during my senior year of
high school.
My high school years were, well anything but normal. You see I went to an all boys
school. And well since I am female that made things… interesting. At first no one knew
I was a girl, and well that complicated things when I fell for one of the guys there. You
see I slipped, I kissed him. I was lucky he didn't beat the shit out of me. I was even
luckier we about 2 weeks or so later he kissed me. He freaked of course, thinking we
were gay, and then I shocked the hell out of him when I showed him I was really a girl.
Your probably wondering why I did this, I mean the whole dress as a boy thing. I did it
to get my mother's attention. She was always busy with her work, and didn't really have
time for me. I thought if I did this and eventually got caught she might just take notice.
But once I met him the last thing I want was to get caught.
So here I was, a girl dressing as a boy, going to an all boys school and in love with my
new best friend. And he loved me back. It was rough on him, on both of us at first. We
had a hard time hiding our feelings around everyone. So naturally most of the guys at
school thought we were gay.
Eventually we let a group of close friend in on my secret. They made it easier for us.
And helped us squash some of the rumors. So with a little help from our friends I lasted
through the next 3 years.
We had talked about possible going to the same college and maybe getting married. We
couldn't wait for the chance to really be together out in the open. But you then he got
into his dream school. It was an art school in Italy with an incredible photography
program. He told me he was going. That it would probably be good for us to spend
some time apart. He said we were too dependent on each other that we need to find
ourselves before we could give each other forever.
They say in the moment before you die your whole life flashes before your eyes. Well in
that moment my heart died, and the life I had pictured for he and I flashed before my
eyes. The wedding we would never have. The house we would never live in. The kids
we would never have.
I went to my room that night and cried for hours. He came to my room and tried to make
me feel better. Tried to convince me that it would all work out. Told me how much he
loved me.
But in the end I was right. The phone calls, emails and letters, went from everyday, to
once a week, to once a month and eventually stopped.
Every once in awhile I think about all those plans and dreams we once had. And how
they wouldn't fit into my life now. I'm not that same naïve girl with dreams of a home
and a family. But I am grateful for everything that happened. If it hadn't I wouldn't be
here now.
***
Hamilton was running late as always. He couldn't seem to ever be on time. He was to
work a concert. He was supposed to get there before the show. But looking at his watch
he realizes it has already started.
He makes his way quickly to the press entrance of the arena. "Sylvia is going to be
pissed." He thinks as he jogs with his camera bag over his shoulder through the halls of
the arena. He stops when he spots Sylvia leaning up against the wall across from the
entrance into the main area. He could hear the music blaring from inside.
"I am so sorry." He says as he approaches. "Traffic."
"Hamilton." She says shaking her head. "If you weren't such a great photographer the
magazine would fire your ass."
Hamilton smiles. "I really am sorry. So what did I miss?"
"Well I already got me interview before the show. So I guess you will have to wait and
take the close up shots after the show."
"So." He says nodding towards the concert in progress. "Is this new girl any good?"
"Has possibilities. Good voice, and she writes her own music."
Hamilton nods. "Well I might as well get in there and take some shots of the concert.
What is her name again?"
"Jacq, she goes by just Jacq. J-A-C-Q." She tells him as they walk into the main area of
the arena. They are near the back and Hamilton takes in his surroundings. The beat of the
music is pounding in his chest.
The sun beats down
Hot on my skin
I hear the birds
I feel the wind
Everything is so still
Your not here
Hamilton turns to Sylvia. "I am heading up there to get some shots." He tells her as he
points to the high seats against the back wall of the arena.
"Okay I am going up to the press area. Meet me there when you are done."
Hamilton nods and turns to start up the stairs. When he feels he is high enough he gets
out his camera. He starts with crowd shoots. The audience is filled mostly with young
girls and women.
As I wake I will think of you
You were everything
You were mine
But they took you now it's their time
I know what I must do
As the song ends Hamilton shakes his head. "Angry chick music." He thinks as he
continues snapping the camera. "But she does have a good voice."
What's it like
To have an empty heart
To feel yourself fall
And have your world torn apart
He turns toward the stage looking through his view finder, and starts snapping shots of
the stage. He doesn't have his zoom lens on yet so he can't make out much about the
singer except for the colors of her clothes. She is wearing some kind of red pants and a
black tank top or something close to that.
I wait for time to pass
For memories to fade
There's no more sun in my life
I live in shade
Despite himself he starts to enjoy the music. Once he feels he has gotten enough shots he
turns and reloads his camera, puts on his zoom lens and starts for the press area in the
front near the stage.
Hamilton spots Sylvia and makes his was to her, he is about to lean in to her ear to speak
when the song stops, he starts to say something but stops and looks up as the singer
speaks.
"Thanks! Well this is point where I include the standard cover song. I only do the one
but this one has special meaning for me." She speaks into the microphone.
Hamilton stares up at the stage. "It can't be." He thinks. "I don't believe it." He finally
speaks.
Sylvia looks toward him. His eyes are glued on the young woman on stage. "What?"
Hamilton shushes her so he can hear the object of his attention speak.
"I dedicate this song to the partner in the life I never got to have."
For a long time I was in love
Not only in love, I was obsessed
With a friendship that no one else could touch
It didn't work out, I'm covered in shells
Hamilton is in shock. There in front of him on stage is his Jake, singing. He quickly
brings his camera to his eye and begins to take pictures.
And all I wanted was the simple things
A simple kind of life
And all I needed was a simple man
So I could be a wife
"This is for me." He thinks as he watches Jake pour her soul into the music.
I'm so ashamed; I've been so mean
I don't know how it got to this point
I always was the one with all the love
You came along, I'm hunting you down
"She is still so damn beautiful." He whispers out load, not that any one could here it over
the music.
Like a sick domestic abuser looking for a fight
And all I wanted was the simple things
A simple kind of life
If we met tomorrow for the very first time
Would it start all over again
Would I try to make you mine?
He continues to take pictures as she sings.
I always thought I'd be a mom
Sometimes I wish for a mistake
The longer that I wait the more selfish that I get
You seem like you'd be a good dad
As she sang those last words Hamilton sees her look directly at him through the
viewfinder. And his arms go limp and he lowers the camera and just stares at the stage,
the meaning behind the song pulling at his heart.
Now all those simple things are simply too
Complicated for my life
Jake's eyes make their way back to Hamilton's and she can see him now that the camera
is not covering his face.
How'd I get so faithful to my freedom?
A selfish kind of life
She isn't able to take her eyes away. And a tear begins to slowly run down her cheek.
When all I ever wanted was the simple things
A simple kind of life
Jake sees in her mind a younger version of Hamilton lower himself to one knee and open
a black velvet box.
A simple kind of life
Hamilton is now standing in the front of church watching her walk toward him all in
white.
A simple kind of life
The bright lights of a hospital shine on her as Hamilton holds her hand and urges her to
push.
A simple kind of life
She looks down into the face of her daughter in her arms as Hamilton sits besides her
holding them both.
A simple kind of life
She is carrying a cake topped with four candles and sits it in front of her son. And looks
over at Hamilton with a video camera filming as the boy blows out the candles.
A simple kind of life
The wind is blowing through her hair as she sits on her front porch watching Hamilton
run in the yard with her son and daughter playing with a Frisbee.
A simple kind of life
She turns and cries into Hamilton's shoulder as they drop off their now 15-year-old son at
Rawley.
A simple kind of life
Her beautiful dark haired daughter walks down the isle on Hamilton's arms as she
watches from her seat with tears in her eyes.
A simple kind of life
She sits on the front porch alone with Hamilton staring at their now wrinkled hands.
A simple kind of life…
THE END
Author: Jean
Email: jeansmx@crosswinds.net
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own Jake or Ham or the song used in this fic.
Summary: Jake reflects on the past.
Author's note: The full song at the end is not mine, but the little bits and pieces of lyrics
that are in Italics through the middle are from old poems I wrote. What can I say I
needed original music! Oh and it kind goes without saying now that anything in Italics is
music being sung that the characters can here. You'll get it as you read. Oh an be
warned I cried my eyes out when writing this be prepared for that.
***
Have you ever had one of those moments, the kind that you know will change your life. I
have had a few of those. But the most important one happened during my senior year of
high school.
My high school years were, well anything but normal. You see I went to an all boys
school. And well since I am female that made things… interesting. At first no one knew
I was a girl, and well that complicated things when I fell for one of the guys there. You
see I slipped, I kissed him. I was lucky he didn't beat the shit out of me. I was even
luckier we about 2 weeks or so later he kissed me. He freaked of course, thinking we
were gay, and then I shocked the hell out of him when I showed him I was really a girl.
Your probably wondering why I did this, I mean the whole dress as a boy thing. I did it
to get my mother's attention. She was always busy with her work, and didn't really have
time for me. I thought if I did this and eventually got caught she might just take notice.
But once I met him the last thing I want was to get caught.
So here I was, a girl dressing as a boy, going to an all boys school and in love with my
new best friend. And he loved me back. It was rough on him, on both of us at first. We
had a hard time hiding our feelings around everyone. So naturally most of the guys at
school thought we were gay.
Eventually we let a group of close friend in on my secret. They made it easier for us.
And helped us squash some of the rumors. So with a little help from our friends I lasted
through the next 3 years.
We had talked about possible going to the same college and maybe getting married. We
couldn't wait for the chance to really be together out in the open. But you then he got
into his dream school. It was an art school in Italy with an incredible photography
program. He told me he was going. That it would probably be good for us to spend
some time apart. He said we were too dependent on each other that we need to find
ourselves before we could give each other forever.
They say in the moment before you die your whole life flashes before your eyes. Well in
that moment my heart died, and the life I had pictured for he and I flashed before my
eyes. The wedding we would never have. The house we would never live in. The kids
we would never have.
I went to my room that night and cried for hours. He came to my room and tried to make
me feel better. Tried to convince me that it would all work out. Told me how much he
loved me.
But in the end I was right. The phone calls, emails and letters, went from everyday, to
once a week, to once a month and eventually stopped.
Every once in awhile I think about all those plans and dreams we once had. And how
they wouldn't fit into my life now. I'm not that same naïve girl with dreams of a home
and a family. But I am grateful for everything that happened. If it hadn't I wouldn't be
here now.
***
Hamilton was running late as always. He couldn't seem to ever be on time. He was to
work a concert. He was supposed to get there before the show. But looking at his watch
he realizes it has already started.
He makes his way quickly to the press entrance of the arena. "Sylvia is going to be
pissed." He thinks as he jogs with his camera bag over his shoulder through the halls of
the arena. He stops when he spots Sylvia leaning up against the wall across from the
entrance into the main area. He could hear the music blaring from inside.
"I am so sorry." He says as he approaches. "Traffic."
"Hamilton." She says shaking her head. "If you weren't such a great photographer the
magazine would fire your ass."
Hamilton smiles. "I really am sorry. So what did I miss?"
"Well I already got me interview before the show. So I guess you will have to wait and
take the close up shots after the show."
"So." He says nodding towards the concert in progress. "Is this new girl any good?"
"Has possibilities. Good voice, and she writes her own music."
Hamilton nods. "Well I might as well get in there and take some shots of the concert.
What is her name again?"
"Jacq, she goes by just Jacq. J-A-C-Q." She tells him as they walk into the main area of
the arena. They are near the back and Hamilton takes in his surroundings. The beat of the
music is pounding in his chest.
The sun beats down
Hot on my skin
I hear the birds
I feel the wind
Everything is so still
Your not here
Hamilton turns to Sylvia. "I am heading up there to get some shots." He tells her as he
points to the high seats against the back wall of the arena.
"Okay I am going up to the press area. Meet me there when you are done."
Hamilton nods and turns to start up the stairs. When he feels he is high enough he gets
out his camera. He starts with crowd shoots. The audience is filled mostly with young
girls and women.
As I wake I will think of you
You were everything
You were mine
But they took you now it's their time
I know what I must do
As the song ends Hamilton shakes his head. "Angry chick music." He thinks as he
continues snapping the camera. "But she does have a good voice."
What's it like
To have an empty heart
To feel yourself fall
And have your world torn apart
He turns toward the stage looking through his view finder, and starts snapping shots of
the stage. He doesn't have his zoom lens on yet so he can't make out much about the
singer except for the colors of her clothes. She is wearing some kind of red pants and a
black tank top or something close to that.
I wait for time to pass
For memories to fade
There's no more sun in my life
I live in shade
Despite himself he starts to enjoy the music. Once he feels he has gotten enough shots he
turns and reloads his camera, puts on his zoom lens and starts for the press area in the
front near the stage.
Hamilton spots Sylvia and makes his was to her, he is about to lean in to her ear to speak
when the song stops, he starts to say something but stops and looks up as the singer
speaks.
"Thanks! Well this is point where I include the standard cover song. I only do the one
but this one has special meaning for me." She speaks into the microphone.
Hamilton stares up at the stage. "It can't be." He thinks. "I don't believe it." He finally
speaks.
Sylvia looks toward him. His eyes are glued on the young woman on stage. "What?"
Hamilton shushes her so he can hear the object of his attention speak.
"I dedicate this song to the partner in the life I never got to have."
For a long time I was in love
Not only in love, I was obsessed
With a friendship that no one else could touch
It didn't work out, I'm covered in shells
Hamilton is in shock. There in front of him on stage is his Jake, singing. He quickly
brings his camera to his eye and begins to take pictures.
And all I wanted was the simple things
A simple kind of life
And all I needed was a simple man
So I could be a wife
"This is for me." He thinks as he watches Jake pour her soul into the music.
I'm so ashamed; I've been so mean
I don't know how it got to this point
I always was the one with all the love
You came along, I'm hunting you down
"She is still so damn beautiful." He whispers out load, not that any one could here it over
the music.
Like a sick domestic abuser looking for a fight
And all I wanted was the simple things
A simple kind of life
If we met tomorrow for the very first time
Would it start all over again
Would I try to make you mine?
He continues to take pictures as she sings.
I always thought I'd be a mom
Sometimes I wish for a mistake
The longer that I wait the more selfish that I get
You seem like you'd be a good dad
As she sang those last words Hamilton sees her look directly at him through the
viewfinder. And his arms go limp and he lowers the camera and just stares at the stage,
the meaning behind the song pulling at his heart.
Now all those simple things are simply too
Complicated for my life
Jake's eyes make their way back to Hamilton's and she can see him now that the camera
is not covering his face.
How'd I get so faithful to my freedom?
A selfish kind of life
She isn't able to take her eyes away. And a tear begins to slowly run down her cheek.
When all I ever wanted was the simple things
A simple kind of life
Jake sees in her mind a younger version of Hamilton lower himself to one knee and open
a black velvet box.
A simple kind of life
Hamilton is now standing in the front of church watching her walk toward him all in
white.
A simple kind of life
The bright lights of a hospital shine on her as Hamilton holds her hand and urges her to
push.
A simple kind of life
She looks down into the face of her daughter in her arms as Hamilton sits besides her
holding them both.
A simple kind of life
She is carrying a cake topped with four candles and sits it in front of her son. And looks
over at Hamilton with a video camera filming as the boy blows out the candles.
A simple kind of life
The wind is blowing through her hair as she sits on her front porch watching Hamilton
run in the yard with her son and daughter playing with a Frisbee.
A simple kind of life
She turns and cries into Hamilton's shoulder as they drop off their now 15-year-old son at
Rawley.
A simple kind of life
Her beautiful dark haired daughter walks down the isle on Hamilton's arms as she
watches from her seat with tears in her eyes.
A simple kind of life
She sits on the front porch alone with Hamilton staring at their now wrinkled hands.
A simple kind of life…
THE END
