I'M YOUR TEACHER HERE
Hello. I'm Kimi Watsuwa. And I'm not a ninja, if you are wondering. Yes, I'm not a ninja, like everyone else around me. I'm just an average girl with average body, average beauty and talents. I don't attract, sorry, I don't try to attract boys and why is that, you ask? Because I don't feel like it. I'm not that kind of a girl, I guess. You must be wondering how a girl like me can be Gaara's, the Kazekage of the Sunagakure's, girlfriend. Well, I'll tell you: it all started with me being his personal tailor. Yes, tailor! I have made clothes for him, sewed and fixed the holes on them, I even had a little talk with him. But that didn't happen until the end of the chuunin exams, until he came back pretty injured…
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"Kimi? Kimi, come over here!" Someone's voice echoed through the corridors of the Kazekage building. I ran to the source of the voice, feeling something wasn't right, which something really wasn't right. As three figures came to my sight, I gasped, only letting myself to hear it.
"W-what happened t-to him?" Temari and Kankurou were carrying a pretty badly injured Gaara in their arms. They seemed injured too, but not as bad as the red-head of course. They had to stop by a couch at the entrance of one of the corridors in the complicated building, to drop Gaara on it. He inhaled deeply, seemed in a huge pain. I kneeled beside him, watching him withour turning my eyes, as if afraid if I do, he will die in a second.
"He got injured in the chuunin exam." Was all Temari could say. Both siblings seemed in shock. Gaara was covered in so much, I mean so much blood! Even Gaara himself hadn't seen his own blood. That must have shocked them most.
With a sudden movement, I stood up and taking Gaara with me, I dragged him to his room. Without turning my head, I called Temari. "Can you send someone to his room, Temari?"
"Ok." She said and they left for their room.
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Oh my God, he is opening his eyes! I screamed mentally. Finally after some three tired and sleepless days, Gaara was finally opening his eyes. Groaning slightly, he tried to sit up but a hand -my hand- stopped him and made him lie down again.
"Who... Kimi? What are you doing here?" As you can see, I have been taking care of him for these three days. My reason? Since the elders didn't want anyone in the village to know he was injured, and since I wouldn't take any attention due to being his tailor, they chose me to take care of him instead of a medic-nin. I wouldn't take attention by going into his room constantly. And that was a good thing I went to some first aid courses and learned how to treat someone injured from the medic-nins of Suna. Actually my unfortunately deceased older sister taught me all these and sent me to courses also. So here I was, cleaning his wounds, taking care of him and trying to drop his temperature. Of course I was afraid and suprised. I was afraid, because his demon, his demon could kill me in an instant. But I was suprised, because the demon hadn't woken up yet. There was a chance it was tired like Gaara. Since he was the container and he was tired as hell, it could be possible for the demon to be tired.
"Yes, Gaara-sama?" I replied with a small smile on my face, trying to hide the truth I was about to collapse on the floor from tiredness.
"How did I get here?" He asked in a cold, commanding tone. I sighed, not new to his coldness and started to explain softly.
"You were injured at the chuunin exam and your siblings brought you back. And since then, which was three days ago, I've been taking care of you." I said shortly. He didn't respond at first. He seemed deep in thought, thinking about something serious.
"Has my… demon awakened?"
"No." Was my reply. "That was quite suprising. I was expecting that." He didn't respond again. Sitting up slowly, he leaned to the head of the queen-sized bed.
Then he turned his icy stares to me. "You must have been afraid."
I waited a little before answering. "At first, yes. But when I saw your demon wasn't in the condition to hurt me, I stopped worrying and focused on you. Because he neede me to heal you. Heal your body. So he could live more. But I still suggest you not to sleep, it might have recovered like you." With that, I stood up, bowed and picking up the items and smiling some, I left the room, left him alone with his thoughts.
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A week later, Gaara and his sibling finally came back from an important mission. Their mission was to help Suna's ally, Konoha. We got a message from Lady Hokage that informed Uchiha Sasuke left the village and they needed immediate help. After a day Gaara has awakaned, they left to the direction of Konoha's outskirt forests.
I was waiting for them to return at the front gates of the village, tapping my foot but not quite realizing that. They were finally seen. Finally. They walked to me, looking at me and smiling. Well not Gaara but other siblings did. We were good friends with Temari and okay with Kankurou. They would always say 'hi' to me when they returned from a mission, but Gaara… He would say nothing.
This time, I was actually worried for him. Since his returning from Konoha was all bloody and wounded, I have been secretly watching him. I have never seen him like that before. And that's the real thing which scared me to death, not even his demon effected me anymore.
While I was waiting for them to reach to me, there was a small smile tugged to my slightly parted lips. I was waiting for Temari and Kankurou to say 'hi' or something. But then, something really suprising happened, something I wasn't expecting at all. Gaara nodded his head while passing me, making direct eye contact with gazing in my blue-grey orbs. My eyes widened and I froze there. That was a first! That was the first time he acknowledged me! And that was his way of smiling I guessed. He would never talk to me or look in my eyes before the chuunins.
Since that day, while I was at working on his clothes or in Kazekage Mansion, when he saw me, he nodded his head or talked with me a little. I was really happy inside, he was finally talking to me! I mean, who wouldn't be happy?! Sabaku no Gaara, was actually talking to me! My long time crush…
Ok, I admit it: I love him! Yeah, I love him. I don't know how this happened though. I knew him from the very beginning but until now, I haven't realized if I'm in love with him or not. I guess that's the stupid hormones of a teeneager, I don't really know, but what I really know is, I love him.
He really deserves to be loved. When I saw him working, or in his favourite spot gazing at the moon, I saw how lonely he was, how he desired for love. He needed love. He needed to be loved. He really has changed after the chuunins and he actually started to care for his village. You know, little things bring big things and happiness. I was actually hoping this little love to bring big loves. I was actually hoping him to… to love me actually. Kankurou once told me a conversation between him and his brother. Gaara had said he cared for the village and wanted to be the Kazekage, the guardian of the village. That's when I started to hope. I wished so bad, so bad even caused me to have so many sleepless nights. He would sit on the roof can't sleeping and I would sit in my bed, also not able to sleep.
Then one day, that very one day, he, Gaara finally opened up to me some. He was gazing down the village from the rooftop of the Kazekage building as usual. Yeah, he was finally the Kazekage. I had just finished his new Kage clothing and I was on my way to show him or ask him to try it on. I was really tired, tired from working all night and all morning but it was all worth it. I stepped on the roof and, spotting him right away, I walked to his direction. His back was towards me but he seemed to notice the presence behind him.
"Kimi." He said simply as a greating. I bowed as a show of respect.
"Good afternoon, Kazekage–sama. I've finished your Kage robe. Would you like to try it on?"
"Later." He said gazing deeply into the village, deep in thought.
I looked at him carefully. It seemed like there was something bothering him. I couldn't hold it in anymore. "A-are you okay, Kazekage-sama?"
"Kimi…" He turned his head to me." I told you before. Don't call me Kazekage-sama." He looked into my eyes, before turning to the village again, face expressionless as always.
"I-I… Ok, but… Is there something bothering you?" I asked politely, lowering my head not to make eye contact with him. It seemed like a normal question but you know… with Gaara… Eveything is not really normal.
"Actually, yes." He said simply again, not making explanations. But I wanted to hear more. Because everytime I was around him, he seemed a little uneasy about something but when I asked him if something was bothering him, he would say no.
"Umm... If you want to talk… You know…"
"Why are you so…" He started but didn't finish, couldn't finish I guessed.
"Umm…" What was he going to say? I thought.
"Did I…" He started again but interrupted by someone this time.
"Kazekage-sama! The meeting is about to start, you are needed down there."
He sighed and before turning to head inside, he looked at me and nodded his head. I sighed after him and left also.
I said that very one day, Because that was the day he… he was kidnapped. After the meeting, we were in his office, I finally managed to make him try on his new robe. He was standing in the center of the room, arms stretched to sides and I was kneeling in front of him with some needles in my mouth, fixing some parts of the cloth. Then, he suddenly lowered his hands, making me look up at him startled. He listened carefully for a moment, before throwing off the robe and dashing out the room.
"Don't leave my office Kimi, no matter what…" I heard his deep voice from the corridor. Sighing softly, I walked to the window and leaning on it, I gazed out to the village, just like him. Why did he leave so sudden? What did he sense? After a couple minutes, I noticed a sand ball rising into thet sky. Not listening Gaara's words and running out of the office in a quite rush, I threw myself on to the streets of Suna. Just like everyone, I looked up, and finally noticing what was it, I gasped in shock. It… it was Gaara's sand. It was Gaara fighting with some weirdo girl. Or… was that a girl? I couldn't really see, nor did I care. I ran back to the Kazekage building and climbing the stairs as fast as I could, I reached to the rooftop. There they were, just above me, fiercely fighting and trying to beat the other one. Gaara didn't notice me at first, but the girl surely did. Just when Gaara crushed her arm, she looked down and noticed me. Diving down in the air suddenly, he flew towards me. I was frozen, wasn't expecting her to do something like that. She grabbed me by the waist and picking me up, she started to rise again. Just then everything got clear for everybody: Gaara noticed me and I noticed the intruder wasn't a girl. He was definetely a boy. I screamed but it didn't effect him. I struggled, threw my fists to him but even with one arm, he managed to hold me still.
"What do you want from us?" He just smirked and suddenly turned towards Gaara, who was following us in his giant sand ball.
"You'll be useful for this battle, yeah." Then he leaned in to my ear. My back was towards his body and he was holding me with his right hand firmly.
"Now, go fly little bird of the Kazekage, yeah!"
"H-how did you…"
"Hahaha, are you kidding? I have been watching him lately, yeah. Any you were always with him. You must be really dense for not understanding what you mean to him, yeah!" With that he threw me off from the big clay bird. Screaming with a high pitched tone and waiting for my death to come, I felt some pressure around my waist. Slowly but carefully opening my eyes, I looked upside and noticed a hand of sand was holding me. Gaara, I thought, he saved me. But that move was going to cost him so much. The boy used the situation to attack Gaara but at the last moment, he changed his direction and sent big clay bombs to the village. Gaara's eyes widened. Even him, Gaara was suprised by his move. I was hanging on the air, watching all the scene. Then suddenly everything became a blur, everything got messed. I found myself on the rooftop, but didn't know when did Gaara put me down. And I noticed one more thing also; there was a barrier of sand above me, above the village, protecting every single part of it. Gaara must have taken the blow and protected his dear village. Gaara… I thought. Looking carefully into the fume cloud and trying to see him, I waited for the cloud to scatter.
"GAARA!!" I screamed, when I saw him. He was unconscious, his body shield was about to broken, his face was full of cracks, and that girly boy was holding him with the tail of his clay bird. He smirked in victory and started to fly away.
"NO!" I screamed again. "Come back, you bastard! Give him back!"
"Big words for a little girl, yeah… Especially for a girl who isn't a shinobi, don't you think, hm?" He said over his shoulder, smirking. I stood there frozen and was forced to watch them leave, falling on my knees and letting the tears pour down my cheeks.
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I have cursed myself for not being a ninja. If I was one, if I agreed when my father suggested me to go to the ninja academy, I could save him. Or at least I would try. I would give my life without hesitation to save him. He was gone. He was gone and I did nothing to save him. Because I was just an ORDINARY girl!!!
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After the incident on the Kazekage building, I went down, went outside, only to learn Kankurou was poisoned. Poisoned by the partner of that girly man. I immediately ran to him and did everything I could to keep him alive for three days, until Sakura came. She has treated him, removed the poison from his body and saved him fortunately before she, Naruto, Kakashi and Chiyo went after Gaara's kidnappers as their mission.
I had gone crazy during that three days. None of them came back, none of them reported what was going on. And add the "elders' anxiety about the Kazekage-less village" to all of these. Guess what I had gone through.
After three days, a messenger-nin has come to village and told us about the rescue mission. Gaara was saved, but he was no longer… alive…
"WHAT?!" I yelled. "What do you mean by dead?!"
"Kimi, calm down please…"
"No, no, no, no, no, no, NO! This must me a joke! This must me a dream! A nightmare! Like the ones I have been having since he's gone. This is all a nighmare. I will wake up soon and find out he is okay. I have to wake up!!" I collapsed to a chair nerby and putting my head between my hands, I started to cry uncontrollably. The messenger-nin, who was one of my friends, put his hands on my shoulders, trying to comfort me. Then all of a sudden I stood up, walking towards the door. "Where's he now?" I said.
"Kimi…"
"Where the hell is he!!?" I asked more demanding. Hey, I can be rude at times, especially when something bad happened to the ones I deeply care about.
"Clearings outside the village. A little far away from Suna. Here, I escort you…" We left the village immediately heading for the clearings, for him.
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The view was terrible. He was lying on the ground unconscious, dead. Naruto, Kakashi, Chiyo and Sakura were beside him. I slowly walked towards him. I was the first to arrive at the clearings from Suna. Because I ran as fast as I could, fast for a girl who wasn't a… nevermind. I came closer and kneeled beside him, before putting my hand on his Kanji symbol and crying softly, letting my teardrops to fall on his pale skin. His face was more pale, his eyes quite showing the pain he had gone through. Then I felt someone's hand on my hands. This was Chiyo. She looked into my eyes, her own eyes showing nothing but sadness. She mumbled some last words, before putting her old and shaky hands on Gaara's body. I was no ninja, but even I knew what jutsu she was doing. Tensei Ninjutsu. She was planning to give her life for Gaara, just like I would do at the moment. She concentrated, then started to wine a little.
"Not enough chakra…." She said. I looked up, only to see Naruto coming closer to Gaara's body. He kneeled also and putting his hands on Chiyo's, he supported the old woman with his own chakra.
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I once had a little talk with Chiyo. I was sent to ask her something. She was around that little pond, sitting by herself. I came closer and smiled to her warmly. She opened one eye a little and noticed my smile but didn't react.
"Playing dead all alone?" I said laughing a little.
"Until you came." She said. I sat beside her and then we had a little talk.
"Chiyo-baa-sama?"
"Yes?"
"Why… w-why did you… y-you sealed the… t-the…" I couldn't complete my sentence.
"You want to know about Gaara?" That was more like a statement.
"…Yes…" I replied silently. "I know his destiny and what he can do, what he is capable of but… Even he is a human being and he may die one day. If he dies on a mission, or on a fight, battle… I wonder…" I shut myselp up, biting on my lower lip.
"Hmm… I guess what you are trying to say is---"
"I know about that important jutsı of yours and…" I interrupted her suddeny, cutting her words," Would you give your life for him? I mean, pretend you are a random person and you know the jutsu, would you give your life for him, for the Kazekage?" She thought for a while, wondering what kind of a question it was and how pointless it was all of a sudden. She then turned her head to me.
"I don't know. If he proves he is worth of my life, if he becomes a great Kage, I will give my life. If he shows he is a true Kazekage, I will do that as a duty." She then returned to the pond again and fell asleep actually. I sighed softly and whispered an "I see…", before turning to leave.
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"He's proved he is worthy, Chiyo-sama…" I whispered now getting why she was sacrificing herself. "You believe…" I felt a sudden urge to hug her but that could not be done. She was losing consciousness second by second, while Gaara was gaining it. Then everything happened so quickly: Chiyo had fallen down and Gaara woke up, opening his eyes slightly. The first one to be seen to his eyes was me. I was so happy, so happy that he came back to life. He came back to me. Tears of joy were dancing through my eyes, falling down on my cheeks. He stood up some, leaning on me but not quite noticing it. Then his attention was turned around us. Evey single ninja of Suna had come!! Even I didn't notice that until I saw Gaara's expression. He was suprised, people who used to hate him- people who fear him and don't want to be near him was there, worried about him, their Kazekage. Finally, finally, he was getting the love he needed. He was getting the respect he deserved.
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A week after the incident, me and Gaara were on the rooftop of the Kazekage building as always. We were gazing into the village. Actually I was eyeing him here and there, hoping he wouldn't notice. Team Kakashi has already left, after the funeral of Chiyo-sama. Now we were all alone, all alone. I was hoping everyone but me and Gaara left to sleep.
"I heard you sing." Gaara said suddenly.
"Sorry?"
"I said I heard you sing. Yesterday. You have a nice voice."
"T-thank y-you, but… Why are you saying this all of a sudden?"
"Kankurou told me, if you want a girl to notice you, you should compliment her."
"You want me to notice you?" I asked suprised. All I wanted to say was 'You already have all of my attention, along with my heart…' But I just couldn't dare.
There was a long silence, until I tried to say what I was thinking. "B-but Gaara, you alrea---"
"Nevermind. I should have guessed. I thought at least you… But… nevermind…" I couldn't even say a word. He was thinking like that and I just couldn't even say a word!
After a long silence again, he started to talk softly. "When they took me… I tried to be strong… for my village… for my siblings… for you… But I thought none of you needed me." He fully turned to me and grabbed my upper arms. "Did I come to be needed by anyone at all?" He asked bitterly, but not raising his voice. He looked into my blue-grey eyes, trying to find something he could hold on, something he could feel, something could feel his loneliness.
"I needed you." I said gazing deeply into his aquamarine eyes, finally building up some courage. "I need you, I search for you when you are not here. I feel your absence when you are not with me. I feel like I'm being torn apart… Gaara, I…"
"What is this feeling then? How you feel is how I feel. I feel the same, but I cannot name this…"
I took a deep breath. "It's… It's love."
He suddenly pushed me off of himself. "Love?" He yelled pointing his forehead, his Kanji symbol. "If this feeling is love, I don't want it!"
"Gaara!" I yelled also. "This love has nothing to do with the love you have witnessed! This is pure, this is what people need. Your Kanji symbols love of blood. It's blood lust, not love!" I was breathing so hard, trying to hold back the tears. "Don't you understand already? I love you! But not like Yashamaru did, not like anybody else did. This is special. When you care about someone, when you don't want them to die, when you feel like you can easily give your life just to save them, it's the true love, the true love you can only feel once." I was no longer holding myself. My tears were running down my already red cheeks. I hugged myself and turned my back to him, heading back inside. How could he compare my love with others? How could he name betrayal as love? What Yashamaru did was awful, unacceptable and wasn't love, but how could he?
Two strong arms wrapped around my little body, stopping me in my tracks. I was too weak -and my vision was blurry- to fight back with him. I would probably fall on my face if he let go of me right now. He hugged me tightly, putting his chin on my shoulder. I bet he didn't know what he was doing. He must have done this by instinct. He rolled us to the right and to the left slowly, listening each others breaths and fast pounding heartbeats.
He leaned in to my ear. "Then teach me love." He whispered softly. "Teach me." With that I turned around and burried myself to his chest, crying and sobbing, clutching him tightly. He wrapped his arms around me securely, not wanting me to go either.
We stayed like that for a moment, enjoying each others company, until Gaara pulled himself back slightly to look in my eyes, his own eyes questioning.
"What do you do when you love someone so badly and you want them to know that?"
"I can show you." With saying that, I pulled him down by putting my hands on the either side of his red head and crashed my lips on his. Softly but effectively kissing him, I waited for him to respond. Soon he started to kiss back as soft as me. It was a very romantic moment, and believe me, you can't find someone who kisses as tender as him. He was kissing like he will break me if he put just a little more pressure on my lips. And his lips were like a feather. I liked all of these. I liked his innocence. But still, I had so much to teach him.
We parted by the need of some air, breathing heavily. He looked deep into my eyes, like if he broke the contact, I would disappear in any second. He held my cheeks stroking them slowly and kissed my forehead, my nose, my cheeks and my chin. I knew he needed me, needed my love, as much as I needed him.
"I'll teach you." I whispered softly, stroking his 'love' symbol with my thumb.
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You thought the story is over, right? But it isn't. At least not yet, Because I want to tell one final moment. It wasn't before the third year of our relationship…
Me and Gaara were in his office, he was working and I was also busy with some paper stuff he asked me to do. But he seemed quite distracted about something…
"Gaara?" He looked at me. "Is there something wrong?" I asked curious.
"I have been thinking… about what Kankurou told me." I rolled my eyes, knowing it was Kankurou. Gaara glared me some, before standing up to gaze out the village from the large windows behind him. I also stood up and walked towards him, waiting right next to him.
"I told him I miss you when I don't see you, I miss your smile, your face, your everything when you are not near me, which is at nights, while you are asleep in your room and I'm on the rooftop." He stopped for a while and pulled me to himself, embracing me before talking again. "And Kankurou told me, why don't we share the same room? He said we can do some stuff together in there, spend out time there but I didn't quite understand what he meant. He said, that way, I can stop missing you and it won't hurt me anymore."
I was smiling to his sweet words before finally realizing what Kankurou meant. "What!?" I yelled slightly, pulling myself out of his embrace some. "He really said that?"
"Yes, but what's that mean?" He asked innocently.
"That means he is gonna pay." I said angrily, trying to get out of his grip. When he realized that, he tightened it.
"Do you really have to make him pay now? I don't want you to go." I softened my expression and leaned up to make lip contact. I kissed him soft and long, adding some passion in it. He responded quickly by slidding his hands down to put them on my waist, holding me tightly. That was what I liked about Gaara, he wasn't the all lovey-dovey type, he would kiss me or hold me when I wanted. Okay, not when I wanted all the time, but he wouldn't try to take things further. He would stop when I wanted. He was like a child, who needs to be taught. To be taught about everything. He was so innocent. Gaara, my Gaara…
We finally leaned back, gazing into each others eyes. I leaned up some and kissed his Kanji, before leaning to his ear.
"Don't listen to Kankurou again. I'm your teacher here." I whispered softly, making him shudder because of the blows I just gave him. He tightened his grip, –if it's possible- getting pretty excited. I could feel that by his touches. I giggled some and pecked his lips.
He started to kiss down my neck, leaving butterfly kisses everywhere first, then nibbling and sligtly sucking on it. I was shocked, was this my innocent Gaara? No way! Kankurou must have told him to do something more. He must have! When I get my hands on him--- Oh my! He found my weak spot, making me gasp in suprise, sending me over the clouds. Why did that feel so right?
"Maybe that room wasn't a bad idea at all." He smirked. I shuddered this time, from his words, also feeling his lips' movement on my neck.
I realized something: I either didn't know that much about love as I thought. I still needed to learn. People need to learn.
And, maybe that room really wasn't a bad idea at all…
