Characters borrowed. Story mine.
He was alone in a space in cargo hold as he finished his last set of weighs. At least he thought he was alone.
Jayne Cobb had closed his eyes from effort as he pushed his body past its breathing point to help clear his mind. On the last push up he felt a feathering touch on his right knuckles. Opening his clear blue eyes he found wide brown ones staring back at him, long dark hair hitting his hand.
Jayne bolted up, hitting his head on the bar above him in the process. "Gorramit!" he swore. "What in the name of all that's black you doin'?"
River Tam tilted her head slightly and offered him a small smile. "Watching." Then quietly as she came she glided back up the metal stairs.
Jayne growled as he rubbed his head and stood to follow the girl, his boots booming noticeably while her bare feet barely toughed the floor.
Jayne found Mal Reynolds arguing heatedly with Inara, the former companion, in the mess area. The arrival of the girl pilot and the big merc caused both people to stop their words to see what was going on.
"Cap'n, gotta put a gorram bell on this feng le girl. Ain't natural how quiet she sneaks up on a man."
The girl in question pirouetted in front of Jayne. "Consumed in thought. It is no fault of mine your mind incapably interpreted the announcement if my arrival."
Jayne scowled deeper, crossing his arms over his shirt. "Damn right creepyifing the way you stare."
River just smiled and floated away from the table.
Jayne looked at the frowning captain. "Well?"
"Ain't it your turn for chow?" grumped Mal, glancing toward the sulking companion.
Inara stood suddenly. "Excuse me," she said frostily and left the room.
Jayne pointedly ignored her. "What you goin' to do 'bout the prancin' Crazy?"
Mall stood, intent on finishing his point with Inara. He clasped Jayne on his broad shoulder. "Seems you are handlin' it. Now, get to cookin', dong ma."
Jayne muttered several choice swear words before moving towards the storage pantry to see his choices for the gruel. He curled his lip at the lack of variety. They had been in the black too long and seriously needed to replenish their stores.
"A menagerie of animals but none of house cat variety," said the whispery voice of River by his elbow.
He glanced down at her with knitted eyebrows. "Huh?"
"A bell around one's neck is indicative of a domestic feline, one of which is not placed among our wayward family."
"You comparin' us to animals?" Jayne asked, trying to follow River's jumpy train of thought. Since Miranda she had been saner as a whole but her jumbled mind still worked in mysterious ways when forming conversation.
"Precisely," she beamed, twirling on one foot, her long messy hair fanning Jayne's side.
He grunted, then tried to think of something decent to make with the protein mush but the wide brown eyes staring once again was too much of a distraction. God, he knew he was going to regret this. "Why?"
Sweet Buddha, she looked pleased that he asked. "Kingdom Animalia contain Homo sapiens based on common characteristics when brought to the basest instincts, kingdoms from Earth-that-was hyperlink all creatures of the world and even core literature have all spanning from one."
"Huh," was the only response as he started to ignore the babbling to focus on more important matters, food.
"You are grumbly Ursus arctos, fiercely protective of what is yours. Flighty happy Kaylee Danaus plexippus of the sky. Bumbling boob Simon Papio papio. Beautiful Inara Pavo cristatus. Zoe a crouching Puma concolor coryi. Captain Daddy the King of the jungle, Panthera leo."
Jayne's blue eyes pierced down at her. "Listen, Moony, I do occasionally try to keep up with your spewing madness but ya gotta help me out an' dumb it down."
River shook her head and pushed her hair back, frowning slightly. "Not dumb but simplification is warranted. Bear. Butterfly. Baboon. Peafowl. Panther. Lion. Animals that were from a time that's long past."
"Bear, huh? Guess I can live with that. Heard tell of a small bird that glittered as it danced from flower to flower, taking only sweet things. Hummingbird." River was looking at him expectantly to come to his point. "Ya didn't name nothin' for you and I just thought--" Jayne broke off, face turning red as he realized he had given the girl a compliment. He stuck his head back into the pantry. "Gotta fix food. Go 'way."
Instead, the happy River threw her skinny arms around his waist before using her grace to hop onto the counter space to watch the burly man work.
Jayne frowned over at River, who was humming as she kicked her bare feet into the air. "What part of 'go 'way' do you not understand?"
She poked out her lower lip. "Want to help."
He barked out a laugh. "Got a long memory, girlie, and I ain't hit that far of stupid yet."
Her brown eyes were wide on his again. "I can stir the bowl."
Strangely enough an image of himself as a boy begging to stir his ma's recipe had him diving into the pantry to find out if he could make the protein work as flapjacks.
He came out with his hands full grinning. But what to use for the sweet syrup?
"Old peppermint bark hidden on top shelf," River supplied.
"Stop readin' my gorram mind," he gruffed at her as he reached for and found the package she had reffered him to.
She ignored him like always. "Candy problematic for Captain Daddy's tooth three months back. Too hard to bite but heated will provide sugary syrup you desire."
Jayne threw the bark on what little counter space he had now that the reader was presently in his way. Giving in, he shoved the big bowl in her hands and guessed at the measurements of ingredients while River held the bowl still for him, happily humming again, stirring with the spoon he handed her.
Once he was satisfied with the mix and the hot plate he even allowed the girl to spoon out the batter, rolling his eyes as she made shapes of the various animals she had previously discussed.
Dinner was a high success and the crew scarfed down the food before the syrup had time to cool and harden.
"This is actually good," Simon said from his seat next to Kaylee.
Jayne grunted behind his huge bite of syrup drizzled cake. "Your sister gave me the idea."
"Helped too," she supplied, sitting to the left of the cook.
Simon looked surprised, glancing at the big merc before smiling. "That's great, mei-mei!"
Mal snorted. "Couldn't get the big guy to properly make circles?"
"Circumvented mixture does not properly stretch mental capacity and therefore is non-excisable."
Mal's eyes knitted in confusion. "You lost me, Li'l Albatross."
Jayne snorted. "She wanted ta make animal shapes 'coz the regular way was borin'."
River nodded. "Exactly, Big Bear."
Jayne flushed as the crew looked at him. "Pass the syrup," he muttered, forking his last bite.
