Once upon a time there was a narrator who took it upon herself to screw up every story she could get her hands on. With complete and utter disregard for the opinions of others, authors and fans alike, she made it her mission to corrupt any good plot line or character development she had the means to. With the help of her tech-savvy computer and her skills of destroying anything she put her mind to, she quickly set to work on annoying the crap out of everybody. These are her stories.


It was a lovely day outside. The birds were singing happily. Suddenly, a dark green pterodactyl swooped through the birds and gobbled them all up. He belched loudly, feathers flying out of his mouth.

Cyborg was swimming in the ocean, whistling like a fog horn.

Raven and Starfire came out of their rooms at the same time, facing each other.

Raven curtsied in her bright pink prom dress. "Good morning, beautiful Starfire!" she skipped into the living room and began cooking lima beans, stirring them into a mushy green mess. Periodically, she added random powders and spices and herbs from the cabinet. All the while, she was humming a sweet little tune.

Starfire walked into the room, humping her shoulders, and slouched down onto the couch, sighing dramatically.

"Alright, team!" Robin called as he walked into the room, "Eat a good breakfast. We have work to do. Slade's at his old tricks again."

"Shut up, Robin!" Starfire snarled, covering her ears. "You come in here every morning yelling about some stupid thing or another and I've had it!" She stomped into the kitchen and threw herself down on the counter.

"Ding!" Raven chimed, switching off the stove. "Supper's ready! Robin, be a darlin' and call the boys in, would ya, hon?"

Robin stared at Raven and Starfire in confusion, then finally answered, "Um, okay."

Beast Boy swooped into the room and landed on two feet as he transformed back into a human. He strolled to the stove and started making bacon.

"Beast Boy. You realize that's not tofu, right?" Robin asked.

Beast Boy looked at Robin, nodded, and continued to cook then eat the bacon.

"Beast Boy, I made you a wonderful meal, and I am offended that you aren't going to eat any of it," Raven said disapprovingly.

Beast Boy turned to her, took her in his arms, and kissed her passionately, dipping her low to the floor. He began attacking her neck with his lips, and she giggled happily in response.

At this point, Robin's eyes were bugging out of his head.

Starfire scowled in disgust. "Ugh. Gross. Do you have to do that right here? I'm tryin' to eat!" She grabbed the handle of the pot and lugged it over to the couch, stuffing her face as soon as she sat down. She picked up a handful and threw it at Robin. "Here, have some ya whiney brat!"

"Starfire!" Robin disapproved. "What is wrong with you guys? Is this a joke?"

"No one's laughin', bird brain," Starfire sneered, "Don't know why you're the leader. Ain't got no brains."

Cyborg yelled up to Robin to join him swimming.

"Wait, that doesn't make any sense at all," Robin declared, "Cyborg can't swim. He's a robot. What stupid narrator thought that up? He's going to rust."

The narrator, annoyed that the bird brain was insulting her intelligence –

"Hey! Stop calling me that!" Robin protested angrily.

-decided to squish Robin and save everyone the headache.

"Yay!" the living Teen Titans shouted in glee.

Just kidding.

"Seriously?" Robin asked, "You're going to bring me back to life? That's so cliché."

"I could always let you die again," the narrator threatened.

"Robin, quit complaining," Starfire scolded. "You've got a great life. You fit in. Do you ever feel out of place? No, you don't know what it's like to be like me."

"Why so serious?" Cyborg asked demonically as he walked in the door, soaking the carpet as he did. He scraped some red rust off his scalp.

Beast Boy and Raven were now having a full-on make-out session on the floor of the kitchen, unaware nor did they care of the deadly germs that might be there.

"What are you, a poet or a writer?" Robin complained.

And so concludes the days of our lives.

The End