Patrick's Letter To The President
Rated K+
Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Spongebob SquarePants, including it's characters. SpongeBob SquarePants is owned by Nickelodeon, MTV Networks, and Stephen Hillenburg.
Dear Mr. President Man,
Hi, I'm Patrick. I like cake and I have an IQ of... well... I forgot, but I'm certain that it starts with 1 and ends at 1. I think that's it.
Anyway, I'm here to tell you what I think about the economy you're running. I think it's bull, since I'm not used to cattle. I don't have any insurance since I'm still used to paying with what's inside my belly button. So far, the only things I got to cover for my house is a penny, a lint ball, a paper clip, and I believe an old moldy Snail Bite I dropped one year ago. Can you make more snail bites? I'm starving already.
I would also like a pizza with pepperoni, mushrooms, banana peppers, more pepperonis, more mushrooms, more peppers, but skip the olives though, they make me gassy. Even the moment I had when I farted near Squidward while having lunch at the Krusty Krab. He was choked up by the smell so bad, that he now wears a respirator every time he goes to sleep. To make it up for him, I sent him a tasty chocolate cake. I wanted to see him eat it, but all he did was cuss at me and shoved the cake somewhere where I didn't see it. I swear, everytime I sit down on a chair, I still feel something fudgy like it was coming out of my butt. Is that a problem? Because I don't see what's so funny about it.
I also would like to have more paper. I bet you have a buttload of paper since you're the president of um... what's this called again? I think it's on the top of my head. Oh yeah, it's Ussa! I'm certain that's what it is. Anyway, I want to write more since this was the only single piece of paper that I have. That's why I want more paper so I can write more on my mind. The changes I wanna include to this little statement are cheaper health care, cheaper food prices, and cheaper gas prices, considering why I don't wanna charge $5 just to fart in the open air. I'm a starfish, I don't need to waste my money on a single fart. I want to save my gas, just in case I want to let it all out when the time is right. The people of Ussa have a right to know, Mr. President Man.
Anyway, like I said, bring more paper.
Uhhhhhh... Patrick
P.S.: I lost my good boxer shorts. Can you help me find them? I can't imagine myself having to walk town naked with fudge butt.
P.P.S.: Can I still have cake as well? I'm hungry.
I got nothing to say, so tell me what you think! I always appreciate the feedback! (;D)
