What the heck is wrong with my mind? It's too horrible! I just put myself in a story! I'm a bad person.

Disclaimer: Why do we do these things? We're on fanfanfiction for goodness sake!

Stalking Harry Potter

A Harry Potter short story.

Summary: A dumb little story that popped into my head one day. Be warned: I am in it.

Warning: May have references to my other fan fictions that may or may not be about Harry Potter.

(HarryPOV)

I sighed. I could tell they were watching me again.

You know, them as in those weird little fan fiction writers. Yes, I know about fan fiction. I also know that you are probably reading this right now, staring at your computer screen in shock and probably wondering what this particular writer is smoking.

While we are on the subject of fan fiction I might as well tell you that I really don't appreciate those stories where I go out with Malfoy. It's creepy.

I heard the clatter of fingers hitting keyboard and sighed again. I walked over to the suit of armor that the noise was currently coming from and looked behind it.

There sat (Well, she was floating slightly. Kind of like a ghost, but for all intensive purposes she was sitting.) a girl with a rather odd appearance, though it was no doubt how she wanted to look. she sat criss-cross applesauce on the ground with a laptop in her lap, and was typing away. Out of her black skinny jeans I could clearly see a charcoal black fox tail with the tip a pure white. Concentrated on her story she absentmindedly tucked her red, black-streaked hair behind one pierced elf ear.

Hearing my approach she looked up at me and grinned. Since I had seen her before while she was hiding under our kitchen table writing something stupid about Dudley, I wasn't at all surprised to see thin, sharp vampire teeth poking out of her gums. Weirdo.

"I am not a weirdo. Actually, yes I am. Whatcha gonna do about it?" She said in an obnoxiously annoying and defensive voice. Why the bloody hell do these people have to be mind readers? Can't they just make up what we think? Do they have to get inside our heads?

"Yes, we do," she responded to my thoughts. See?

"Did you need anything?" She asked me in an annoyed tone.

"Yes, actually, I need you and all your little "fanfiction buddies" to leave my friends and I alone."

"Ahhh," she whined, "but what else am I supposed to do? I already burned down the image of my school in my mind yesterday!"

I rolled my eyes, "So you decide to stalk me?"

"Well, I got bored of following Danny and Max around and I'm not even going to go near Bella, so that leaves you. Although, I do suppose I could mess with Voldy…." she said in a mockingly cheerful voice.

"I'm not even going to ask who they are. What I need is for you to leave, elf/vampire/ghost/fox-thingy."

"You better watch it or I'll write a crossover about you and Twilight where Ginny gets killed and you're stuck with Bella. And that's Mad the elf/vampire/fox-thingy to you." It was probably supposed to be a threat, but since I had no idea who she was talking about…

"Look, I'm really sick of you following me. Can't you just leave?" I pleaded.

She grinned mischievously and her eyes flashed a toxic green, "Sorry, but I leave when I want to and-" she was cut off by a beep from her watch, "Damn, my Mom's going to kill me."

With that she disappeared and I hoped that I would never see her again. Unfortunately, if I didn't see her I would see another stupid author/authoress.

Man, my life sucks. I thought as I walked down the corridor in the direction of the Gryffindor common room. Right at that moment though, Voldemort stepped through one of the stone walls that make up Hogwarts, blew raspberries at me, and walked back through the wall. What the hell?

The End

(A/N-Danny is from the cartoon Danny Phantom. Max is the main character from Maximum Ride and Bella is the main character from Twilight. Just in case you didn't realize, the "elf/vampire/ghost/fox-thingy named Mad" was me. I know it's horrible. I just inserted myself into a story.)

Flames welcome. They're so funny to read. ;p