Hey guise! Kumi-Chan here with a new fic that has been in my mind for sometime. I wanted this just to be a oneshot, sort of humor crack-fic, but over the Thanksgiving Break, the words that you are about to read in this first chappie has played out in my head. Exactly those words are what I thought.
So, I hope you all enjoy reading it... Well, I'd like opinions.
Depending on if I get any positive thoughts, that will determine if I continue this or not. And remember, this isn't an Edward leaves Bella fic... Just read.
Written By: Kumi-Chan/Tobi-Is-Fluffy-Chan
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With immense speed, he dashed up to the Cullen household, clad in mahogany wood and beautiful glass doors.
His dainty finger gracefully grazed over the glass, so lightly that even a finger print was not left behind. He rung the door bell.
"It's open." Emmett shouted, lazily getting up from watching the football game and cuddling ferociously with the blonde, Rosalie. He swung the front door open, his eyes widening and his grip on the metal door knob, tightening so hard that it crushed the surfaces of it.
"Sweet blades of fucking glory. Not you again!" Emmett muttered, knocking his head back. He turned around from the pale beauty, and faced the giant staircase. "Edward, you got a man.. er, guest..."
Emmett left the door open for him to walk in and dashed back, with his vampire speed to the loveseat sofa, his Rosalie and the plasma, flat screen television.
Slowly, but gracefully walking forward at a human pace, he closed the door behind him and stopped at where the staircase started.
"Eddums?" He called out, in his velvet, husky tone, loud enough for them to hear.
A double door opened and out waltzed Edward and his wife, Bella. They stopped at the end of the staircase gazing down at the tall, yet skinny but graceful looking figure in front of them.
"...Jeffree? Is that... Is that... you?"
'Jeffree' nodded once. "It's so good to see you again, Eddums..."
"Wait... who is Jeffree? And Eddums... why are you being called that?" Bella curiously questioned, glancing down and then back to her husband's perfect face.
Edward gulped, and scratched the nape of his neck. "W-Well... Eddums is an old nickname that I once lived up to... a-and..." He stammered, possibly for the first time in his vampire life.
Bella bit her full, pink lip and waited for Edward's response. She was nervous. Very nervous. He never stammered, stuttered or remained imperfect. Always a perfectionist but so suddenly, that changed with the appearance of this 'Jeffree' person.
"Jeffree... Is, well... once was my male lover..." He murmured so low that the only way Bella could hear was being by his side.
Her mouth twitched and her perfectly arched eyebrows knit together. Edward quickly grasped her hands, squeezing it. He knew his wife was shocked.
Jeffree let out a heavy sigh, releasing part of his cool, icy freesia and water lily scent in the air. The sweet smelling scent traveled up in the air, punching Edward and slapping Bella in the face.
Oh... He smells... good... Heavenly... Bella thought to herself, glad that her shield was contracted around herself so that Edward could not hear her thoughts.
She watched as he grimaced.
"Who did you say was here?" They all could hear a light, but fiesty voice say.
As quick as lightning, Rosalie sprung from her seat and crashes into Jeffree, embracing him in a warm, er, cold hug. Another vampire from the Cullen family welcomed him in a hug as well, dragging the trio to the cashmere carpeted floor.
"Jeffree! It's so great to see you again!" Alice beamed, rising up from the ground and helping up Jeffree even though he did not need it. They were vampires after all.
"Why are you here?" Rosalie seethed, narrowing her golden eyes into slits. She helped herself up and crossed her arms over her chest.
"Ha! Ha! Rosalie doesn't like you anymore!" Emmett bellowed from the living room where he relaxed.
"I wouldn't be so sure of that.." Jeffree smirked, shrugging his shoulders.
"Yeah, babes... I love Jeffree.. It's just he did not give me any fucking time to get dressed! God! Look at what the hell I have on!" Rosalie angrily grasped her gray sweatpants, ripping a small hole in the process, pointed to her light brown ugg boots and one of Emmett's baggy t-shirts.
The male vampire clad in glamorous brands such as Chanel, wore a crème colored, silk button down shirt courtesy of the famous label, with the symbol of it embodied onto the cuffs of his sleeves and light brown vest decorated with luscious fur. Red plaid jeans covered his skinny legs, however showing off his firm butt.
Jeffree modestly smiled at Rosalie, giving her a small hug. "Rosalie, girl you are still looking gorgeous. I see you have been taking care of your golden locks."
The blonde placed a hand on her curvy hips and smugly grinned. "Why, thank you..."
He turned to Alice. "Cutie pie, I see you have been taking my make up advice and guidance. Straight eyeliner and just a puff of blush... Fabulous!"
"Now bring in another hug, cunts." The girls laughed, hugging Jeffree once again.
He clasped his hands together. "Where is Carlisle and that darling Esme?" -"And Alice, your mate. I have to meet your mate!" He beamed, showing his pearly white, perfectly shaped teeth.
"Oh, Jeffree, you're gonna' love Jazz." Alice bounced with excite, running down the foyer, yelling for Carlisle's, in a childish way.
"Oh, he's gonna love him alright..." Emmet snickered, earning a punch on the arm from his wife, Rosalie. He winced slightly and shook his head.
Jeffree let out a sigh, and let his sapphire, glimmering blue eyes wander around the Cullen house. He smiled. It brought him back a lot of memories of his and Edward's first encounter to their last one.
He was snapped out of his thoughts when he felt someone or something tugging at his shirt's sleeve. He looked down to see a little girl, with brunette locks resembling Edward's and adorable chocolate brown eyes.
"Who are you, mister?" She lowly asked, cocking her head to the side.
Jeffree brushed his bangs of teal, hot pink and light green perfectly dyed hair out of his blue eyes. He pursed his lips and kneeled down beside her. "My name is Jeffree and I'm-"
He was cut off at Bella quickly scooping her daughter up, cautiously eyeing the man. "Renesmee, where is Jacob?"
"Hi, mommy." She touched Bella's pale, cold cheek, showing her the past events that her and Jacob had encountered.
Bella's eyes went blank and she let out a quick sigh when the flashes of visions/her daughter's memories where over. "Oh. That pretty such explains everything..."
Renesmee nodded her head and turned to the mysterious stranger. "Hi, I'm Renesme, Jeffree." She quickly touched his cheek, knowing that her mother would probably protest and the mother and daughter watched as Jeffree's glimmering sapphire eyes widened and his full lips idly parted in awe, looking as if he was gasping but frozen.
Bella took a moment to look over the mysterious man. She had to admit, he was drop-dead-gorgeous. He was sexy. He was every flattering compliment a girl or man would ever receive or that was ever invented.
His pale, porcelain colored skin glimmered, just from the room's light. It probably sparkled more than the entire Cullen family mashed together. His hair color was dyed in an array of exotic colors; his hair, shaved down on one side, a half head of chin length hair on the other was cut so infallibly. It truly complimented his face structure, showing off his cheekbones and flawless facial features.
"Out of sight..." Bella could hear him murmur. His voice sent chills down her spine. It was just as beautiful as his facial features. It was no wonder him and Edward...
No. Bella thought shaking the idea from her head. I don't want to believe that Edward was once...gay. I just can't grip it, yet.
Renesme smiled, releasing her hand from his cheek, clapping both together.
"Not only is this little beauty exotic, she is adorable and talented." He commented, flashing a small smile to her. The pale man poked her little stubby cheek, admiring her human flesh. "... Is she human?"
Bella gulped and turned around just to see Edward dash from down the stairs and to Bella's side. He wrapped his arm around his wife's waist. "She's a half breed of human and vampire, Jeffree. She's my daughter... And this is Bella, my wife."
Jeffree's perfect eyebrow arched up and he uses a finger to tap his chin. "But, I am a bit confused, Eddums.." - "Half breed? How co-"
"It's a very long story, Jeffree... so much like ours..." Edward remarked, thinking the last part.
Before more words could be exchanged between the two, Carlisle and Esme entered the area, hand in hand, smiling warmly. "Jeffree!" Carlisle greeted. "It's so amazing to see you again. You are welcomed anytime in the Cullen house."
"Thank you, Carlisle. And Esme, you are looking fabulous as ever. I love the assemble you have going on. Carlisle must love kissing you everywhere at night."
Esme giggled, burying her face in Carlisle's shoulder. "Thank you, Jeffree and yes, you are welcomed here anytime. How are your travels?" Conversation went on for the Carlisle, Esme and Jeffree
Edward looked at Bella and Bella looked at Edward. Renesmee giggled and they both looked down at her.
Oh, Lord... The couple seemed to think simultaneously.
Hey! What did you all think of this chappie?
Please review and tell me what you think!
I think I know where this is going.
Kumi-Chan/Tobi-Is-Fluffy-Chan
